The *No Contact* Challenge! ( Read this if you just got dumped)

[Swift Shadow]

Day 2, still not broken NC or come close to it.

Got to admit though, it's not easy. It's helping logging into my emails and the messages she's sent me in the past have been bumped off the top page now which is good.

Just, and I know this sounds sad, but it would be easier if I had a text or email from her to ignore, just to show that it's getting to her as much as it is me, if that makes sense?

I hear you mate, i imagine that when you don't hear from her you assume that she's already moved on so quickly which makes you hurt and wonder what those three months actually meant to her.
Stick in there, we'll pull through this together

 

[LuisGarcia10]

I hear you mate, i imagine that when you don't hear from her you assume that she's already moved on so quickly which makes you hurt and wonder what those three months actually meant to her.
Stick in there, we'll pull through this together

Yeah, exactly.

It would be far easier if I was seeing someone myself, just makes everything far easier to deal with.

 

[Swift Shadow]

Yeah, exactly.

It would be far easier if I was seeing someone myself, just makes everything far easier to deal with.

Agreed, it seems that a new girl is far away and you won't get another one for a long time, despite going to clubs regularly i can't seem to recreate the success i had before, it's like i'm demonstrating some desperate vibe when i'm really not that desperate.

The funny thing is and it's true is that you have far more success finding something when you stop looking for it, the night i met my ex i wasn't even sure that i wanted to go out clubbing, i wasn't really feeling it and would have preferred to stay in the warmth of my home, i did decide to go out and met her.. i honestly believe that's how i succeeded that night, i stopped putting emphasis on getting a girl and starting focusing on me and having fun.

 

[LuisGarcia10]

Yeah exactly, I was introduced to my ex by a friend, I was absolutely hammered and barely said a word to her all night. Day after I get added on facebook and it goes from there.

Gonna do a bit of online dating, tbh even if it never gets past the texting stage, it's still something, just keeps my mind off her and makes me less worried about her meeting someone else because the potential for me to do so is at least there. That will probably make me less on edge when I do go out clubbing, not that I ever give off a desperate vibe when I'm out though, I'm usually too busy drinking to meet girls.

 

[Begin2Live]

81 days...LTR 4 yrs...

she was my exotic fantasy girl...i was her first. I moved away due to getting a great career which I will make good money and have a better future. In my heart I know she would be miserable living here due to the conditions of where I'm at. Her parents seemed to like me, even though they didnt initially. The rest of the family seemed to act like they were better than me, higher than me. Even though I dont make as much as her cousins parents I definetly make more than her cousins will. I dont think I will ever feel a tinge of excitement dating an 'Exotic' woman again. Just where I lived before you could pick and choose whatever you wanted.

I've dated other girls since her and really dont feel to bad about the results even though I havent got laid. I miss my ex but I just motivate myself by thinking about how many guys shes already slept with since I stopped talking to her. Ultimately I'm just trying to be happy for myself and not placing all of my happiness in one woman again.

 

[starplayer]

Well, on day 35 of not seeing or communicating with her at all.

Been strong up until now - but now I have the temptation to have a quick look at her facebook and see what's she's been up to. Gotta resist this because no good can come from it. That's why i'm posting here right now.

The whole christmas period is gonna be a real test for me. I'm sure i'll end up seeing her and i hate that. As soon as i see her in person i totally lose my cool and can barely think straight. Gotta take it easy on the drink or i'll do something stupid and set myself back months.

It's difficult but i'm sure i'm slowly getting over her. There are tough days, tough weeks, tough months even - but it's getting easier.

And considering my life's not got a whole lot going on in it right now, and i've not had much success with other girls in recent times, i think i'm holding up as best i can. Once i move away, get a new job, meet new people, and meet new girls then everything should be much better. One day I will be over her. I might never truly forget her but I will be over her.

Good luck to everyone else doing this. When you have a weak moment then that's when your character is really tested. Stay strong.

 

[GameOfNoGame]

What if you **** this up? Is there even a point in starting again? The other thing is, is it so bad to **** up on this because casual contact might show you don't even care enough to avoid her. You know? Like not always responding but sometimes and even then, not always right away or if you want to ask about something specific or just casually say hello once in a blue moon would that destroy everything or maybe show more indifference?

 

[starplayer]

aaaaannnd after saying all that earlier i just totally caved and looked at her FB, ending my run on day 35.

To make matters worse, i went all out and also looked at the profiles of 3 other girls which i have avoided doing for over 4 months. Not too bad because i don't like any of them, but still a bit annoying.

I've gained nothing from it and now feel ****ty (but not quite as bad as i thought i would).

Sometimes i think i want to see them (especially the oneitis) with new guys - i must be masochistic.

This weeks probably gonna suck now. As long as I don't fvck up when i see her face to face, then i should be fine.

Oh well, day 1 starts again tomorrow i guess.

 

[Paintballguy]

aaaaannnd after saying all that earlier i just totally caved and looked at her FB, ending my run on day 35.

To make matters worse, i went all out and also looked at the profiles of 3 other girls which i have avoided doing for over 4 months. Not too bad because i don't like any of them, but still a bit annoying.

I've gained nothing from it and now feel ****ty (but not quite as bad as i thought i would).

Sometimes i think i want to see them (especially the oneitis) with new guys - i must be masochistic.

This weeks probably gonna suck now. As long as I don't fvck up when i see her face to face, then i should be fine.

Oh well, day 1 starts again tomorrow i guess.

you should really block her facebook profile. i deleted/blocked my ex's facebook profile, and it helps out a lot.

i've been no contact with my ex for about a month, and i can say i'm over it. i just dont care about her anymore.

 

[Deadly_Ripped]

I'm posting here because it's the only thing keeping me from checking me ex's facebook page.

Back story:
1 yr relationship. Talked about marriage, looked at rings. I bought nearly 10k in diamonds without telling her. Moved apart for grad schools. She was supposed to come out in June for good and we were going to move in together. I imagined our entire future together (BIG MISTAKE). She talked about wanting to have my children, and even suggested that we get married as a personal non-legal contract between the two of us once (I refused, because I actually understand the gravity of such a commitment).

She breaks up with me because she says that she feels out of control of her life and she doesn't like who she is around me. She was indoctrinated with feminist ideology but is a woman through-and-through. This always caused her to love that I take control and don't take her ****, and hate it at the same time.

For about a month before it ended, we decided to make it an open relationship - because why not? We're both attractive, young professionals who are committed to each other, so why not? Well... she started banging some guy and got feelings for him. Then she broke up with me for the pathetic reasons stated earlier.

Anyway I tried the okay we can be friends thing for a couple of weeks. It wasn't working when she came out here for job interviews (jobs that she wanted to get so that we could live together) and it became very clear that she didn't intend for us to get back together. Eventually we talked on the phone and she actually told me that she didn't want to rule out a relationship with me in the future. I told her that's unfair to me and that if it's over, then it's over for good.

I haven't contacted her for 5 weeks now. I was supposed to be with her and her family on a big vacation - all expenses paid - for the next 10 days. Instead I'm still going back to my home state and visiting friends and relatives. If I contact her during this time, as she suggested that I do if I wanted to, then I'll be making it clear to her that I am still willing to get back together with her.

I loved or accepted everything about her except how she treated me. She treated me the way she did because she was either incredibly insecure of her own shortcomings or incredibly critical of mine. She was unable to recognize that each of us have strengths and weaknesses and that we should not be identically-matched in every way - or at least that it'd be unreasonable to expect that.

Anyway I'll stop with the details, because now I'm really just rambling. I want to check her facebook to see if she's changed her profile picture or something even though that's incredibly petty and I couldn't really care less about it. I've already been throwing about things that she gave me as I come across them.

I am so ****ing angry at her for doing this to me... for being so ****ing stupid. She's very book smart, but she doesn't understand herself at all. I knew what she was thinking even before she did, and it's one of the reasons that we got along so well. I know enough about her to know that she would actually be better off with me than without, and she doesn't even know it.

I need to let this girl go. I thought that I had, but I guess I haven't. Clearly... I haven't. No, I will not check her facebook, and I will not call her around the holidays. I have already changed my flight to be back in my home state before the new year to avoid a terrible night so potentially closer to her... knowing that she'll be with some other guy and he'll kiss her and she will probably be enjoying herself.

I'm not sure how I'm ever going to get over her. Regardless, I'm not going to contact her until after new year's eve or later. Honestly I don't know how long it's been since we broke up. I've been dragging ass in grad school and just barely making it. This could go on for pages and pages, so I guess I'll stop here.

 

[f283000]

I'm not sure how I'm ever going to get over her. Regardless, I'm not going to contact her until after new year's eve or later. Honestly I don't know how long it's been since we broke up. I've been dragging ass in grad school and just barely making it. This could go on for pages and pages, so I guess I'll stop here.

Why are you going to contact her in the first place? You need to grow up and move on. You need to start talking to other women. Go and do some sarging.

Go on a dating site and browse page after page of all the women in your town. Remind yourself that there's countless women out there and not just this hor you're obsessed about.

Delete your facebook. If you're not man enough to live without facebook then delete your current facebook, make a new one and make it a close friend/family only account and use the option to not be found on searches. Don't add her/let her add you if she ends up finding you.

No man should keep an ex on his cell or his facebook. I don't care how many happy memories you have from being with her. The fact that it's over and she's banging some other dude while you obsesses over here will only attract negative energy to your life.

Women from your past need to be deleted from your life just any other negative thing that may keep you from moving forward.

 

[blueline]

I haven't talked to her for almost 4 months now outside of a brief text interchange where I told her to say 'hi' when she walks by me (kinda awkward to not say ANYTHING when we bump into each other every few weeks). She made it abundantly clear she didn't want to even say 'hi' (literally, just a 'hi') to me either and added in that I treated her like crap. Oh well, I thought she was a cunt from the first couple weeks I started dating her (fine as hell cunt, but still a psychotic cunt, regardless). I bumped into her last Tuesday (we go to the same university), literally sat down right beside her not even noticing she was there, and then turned around to see her and promptly moved without saying a word to her. I don't even know if it was actually her, my vision is total garbage without glasses on. Her voice must've changed dramatically or I just forgot what she sounded like.



So all we do now is just give each other silent eye contact when we bump into each other every now and then. She looks pained when she looks at me when we bump into each other alone. It's nice.

I do want to talk to her, but about what? We had nothing in common, no connection. We were never even friends, we were just needy for romance. What's the point? I blocked her number to make sure I don't get a call from her when she's lonely and desperate over winter break. It's very saddening, but as soon as I score another hot chick, this is all going away.

 

[Myrrdin]

Channel all of the negative emotions into: hobbies,work,gym

extreme situations: martial arts, boxing etc.

 

[Deadly_Ripped]

Success!!!

61 days after the breakup - approx. 40 days of no contact (some of which were terribly difficult - and I'm really almost completely over her.

I am very glad that the OP put this thread up, because it helped me avoid making a big mistake and calling back a woman who didn't treat me the way that I deserved to be treated. It took me a full month before I could stop thinking of only the good things and start remembering the constant SH1T she put me through.

Thanks OP.

 

[HBK]

OK,

Girlfriend of 2 1/2 years broke up with me yesterday 07/01/2011. Told me "I love you, but not in love with you" classic line. Told her if thats the way she feels then fine, i cant change her mind and showed her the door.

Day 1. Get busy.
Changed relationship status on Facebook before her, unfriended her. Deleted number, old texts send and received. Email address.

Moving into new house tomorrow with new friends. Going to gym for swim.

 

[EastWind]

Ok, so, it's been almost two months since the breakup, I've been avoiding contact but feeling horrible, especially every time I see her. I've been at my dad's for the last two weeks (Christmas), thought I'd get some peace and quiet, yet after a week she contacted me, said she was feeling horrible, everything reminds her of me, that after attending her mom's friend's funeral she felt even worse (my mom died two months ago and she didn't attend the funeral because it was far away (1200km) and she had "important uni stuff"). Said she wasn't feeling sure about anything anymore, not even why she broke up three weeks after my mom died (her feelings were "gone"), but assured me it had "nothing to do with your mom's death and your behavior after that".

I ****ing bought it, too.

Today she called again, why can't we be friends for a start of just talk to each other if we like the other person. I said it just hurt too ****ing much to be kicked when you're down because of your mom's death and I can't stand to be around her for very long. Still somehow managed to keep me on the phone for two hours because I felt the need to clarify just how horrible her behavior had been. She "can't sleep" and "thinks of me and my mom all the time" (they met for like 10 days and she usually complained that I liked my mom too much) and "hasn't had anyone to talk about her death to". I went for her there, telling her to be careful what she says about a person she barely knew, complained about and in general had nothing to do with.

Anyway, I got out of there and my dad told me I look like crap and to be careful not to get sucked in, that this is beyond good taste and "no hard feelings". That's when I realized this **** needs to end. I may not be the sucker yet, but I soon will be if I let this go on.

So here I am. This may be difficult because our social circles overlap and she's in the same dorm as I am. But we'll see. That's what this is for.

Day 1

Deleted her from Skype. Put her into Facebook list of people who can't see anything on my profile, have yet to delete her. Set her contact settings on my mobile to "hide from list" and "put through to mailbox directly". Still at my dad's, will go back to Uni tomorrow or the day after that.

 

[betheman]

East, you dont need that selfish leech in your life, she is no good! friends? why? does it benefit you in any way? NO!
LOOK AFTER YOU! you look crap, I havent seen you but Im with your dad on this, this woman hasnt ben good for you, next her quick!

 

[HBK]

Day 2, left the city last night and spend some time with my mate. Went for a few pints and good chat. Felt a lot better being out, and catching up with him.

Havent heard or contacted her today. Felt lonely and angry but thats to be expected. I have no interest in contacting her.

Small background of the relationship.

Going out 2 and half years, shes 25, im 27.

she has alot of baggage that i thought i could deal with. Her Mom died when she was 19, and some other stuff happened to her when she was younger.

Broke up with me after a month, needed space. Didnt contact her and she came crawling back. Red flag 1

Last year i broke up with her for 2 months, we were fighting alot and i grew tired of her nagging. She was very cold with me last christmas, and i found out she was texting another guy. I flipped but she said nothing happened. I believed her:nono:

After 2 months split up she was in bits and begged me to take her back. Like a fool i did.

This time everything seemed to be going well, both happy, and we were planning for months on going travelling abroad this summer together. I really felt this would make or break the relationship. She was looking forward to travelling and we talked about it during christmas. Shes a nurse so i saw very little of her in the last month. She was working last week 6 days straight 12 hour shifts, then last friday boom "i I love you but..."

Im not going to be a doormat for anybody ever again. I was a fantastic,caring, funny,loyal, helpful, supportive boyfriend who did everything i possibly do and she turned her back on me. She will never meet another guy like me. Her loss, my gain i have no regrets.

 

[Alien]

I was a fantastic,caring, funny,loyal, helpful, supportive boyfriend who did everything i possibly do and she turned her back on me. She will never meet another guy like me. Her loss, my gain i have no regrets.

at least she couldnt harm your ego.

 

[HBK]

at least she couldnt harm your ego.

LOL