The *No Contact* Challenge! ( Read this if you just got dumped)

[fuko2007]

dont know?

i recently was told by the girl ive been seeing that we are at seperate points in life and that she cant be what i want. when we started seeing each other i did not treat it like a relationship but when i saw that that upset her i did. shorly after she changed and became distant. she goes out and talks to her friends (and mine) with all smiles but when its just us she does not want to talk. i still have stuff at her house but when i say im getting everything out its either you dont have to get everything or she gets mad or "thats not what i ment". She said she does not want to cut me out of her life but anytime i ask what shes got planned so we can do anything she gets mad. And friends keep getting involved. its like she tells them more than she tells me and evryone knows something i dont. we do have a big age gap between us though. ive been told by several people this is not the first time she has done this to someone. we still have christmas presents for eachother to unwrap and whatnot. newyears is coming up and i would like to spend it with her but if i ask she will just get mad. i know this is nc but i need help right now before i start. my phone is dead. she came over lastnight after a party she was very distant and would not even let me touch her. have not spoken since then. what should i do? i feel lost and lonely and like im a burden to her. I really like her and care about her but dont know what to do. cant eat or sleep without thinking about it. she also said she is not going to be going out and looking for any type of relationship for a while but doesnt want me to go but tells me to go at the sametime? im really confused guys. need some good feedback.

 

[SandraBaxton]

I am a woman

hey guys...Sorry if here are only males but I feel so lost and broken and I just found this site so maybe you can give me some advice...Ive been dating with a guy for 7 months. It was all fine for the first 2 months and he introduced me to his parents, he gave me flowers I also sent him gifts. He wanted to marry me wanted to have children but all of a sudden he started to disappear. He had panic attacks when he was just afraid to leave home so I always came to his place, took him to doctors, I forgave all bad words he told me.After that he again started to distance from me but said he just needed time to pull himself together...I gave- though he was still texting me once a day. Sometimes when I came to him, called him, texted he just sent me to hell and asked to **** off. Then he called and cryied asking for forgiveness. He always cryied after sending me to hell. Last I went to see him again by myself as I was still hoping that he loves me so I was fighting for him, I sent him gifts, I texted him nice words even if reply was- leave me alone! And forgave all flirting stuff in fb, also when he changed his status back to single I forgave him- I still kept sending him sms, calling and coming to see him....So 3 days ago I went to see him and he again said- we will marry baby soon please always be by my side. But 2 days ago he called me and said- Actually I wanted to dump you 5 months ago and I dont love you and you act like my mummy and pls dont call me , its all over bye! I was begging to stay with me but he just laughed...He still didnt delete me from whatssapp and I want to talk to him but stop myself....Yesterday I wanted to take pills and just die ( I am 26 he is 28 ) but mum called and I said to myself you will kill your parents girl not yourself only....Please tell me what to do? I feel totally damaged.....

 

[itcantgetworse]

Day five i aint tx ,did hear she posted ,i didnt expect that ! on facebook she never uses fbook alot prob cause she seen me with the old exs kids ,i said non of my buisness stopped the convo and tbh made me smile 55 days togo .dont get me wrong its still tough but im better than all that emotion stuff i felt

 

[SandraBaxton]

Thank you

You need to pull yourself the fvck together is what you need to do. This guy, at best, has some kind of panic/anxiety disorder. At worst, he sounds like he has some kind of even worse personality/mental disorder.

If you like, I can go on for another half an hour analyzing what he has, why he has it, and all the negative ways this disorder of his will destroy you. But I think you've wasted enough time on him as it is.

Detach yourself immediately from this sick puppy, or you will drive yourself to suicide. The faster you get rid of him from your thoughts, the faster you will get over him and become healthy again.

Thanks for the reply. I really want to move on, but I feel like I owe him smth. I love him and I really tried to help him with all my heart, I was always near, I even stopped seeing all my friends and my parents...And he said- I just thought if I play these games ( like not calling or meeting only for sex ) you ***** will understand that I want you to leave...How I could understand it if he was crying 3 days ago begging to marry him ???Of coz I said yes ( I said yes to all his marriage proposals )....

 

[Purefilth]

i recently was told by the girl ive been seeing that we are at seperate points in life and that she cant be what i want. when we started seeing each other i did not treat it like a relationship but when i saw that that upset her i did. shorly after she changed and became distant. she goes out and talks to her friends (and mine) with all smiles but when its just us she does not want to talk. i still have stuff at her house but when i say im getting everything out its either you dont have to get everything or she gets mad or "thats not what i ment". She said she does not want to cut me out of her life but anytime i ask what shes got planned so we can do anything she gets mad. And friends keep getting involved. its like she tells them more than she tells me and evryone knows something i dont. we do have a big age gap between us though. ive been told by several people this is not the first time she has done this to someone. we still have christmas presents for eachother to unwrap and whatnot. newyears is coming up and i would like to spend it with her but if i ask she will just get mad. i know this is nc but i need help right now before i start. my phone is dead. she came over lastnight after a party she was very distant and would not even let me touch her. have not spoken since then. what should i do? i feel lost and lonely and like im a burden to her. I really like her and care about her but dont know what to do. cant eat or sleep without thinking about it. she also said she is not going to be going out and looking for any type of relationship for a while but doesnt want me to go but tells me to go at the sametime? im really confused guys. need some good feedback.

YOUR RELATIONSHIP IS OVER. As Nismo4 would say - "your princess is in another castle"

http://sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=191182&highlight=princess+castle+common

http://sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=192273&highlight=princess+castle+common


A couple of threads for you to look at.



@Sandrabaxton - Listen to Bradd, GET OUT!

 

[moon goddess]

Wow @ SandraBraxton. Your guy sounds like he needs help.

 

[SandraBaxton]

Yes he needs help and really he should get it from professionals but not me...he just made me believe once in a time i can be happy promising marry me but this-**** off dont call me any more...it just killed me after all i did for him...mostly guys do.t like girls like me yes i am attractive but i cant be A ***** i am devoted ki.d and its very hard to make me angry andmad...i just cant be like this.anyway living another sleepless night...he isnline i. Whatssapp still...

 

[pinkfl]

hey guys...Sorry if here are only males but I feel so lost and broken and I just found this site so maybe you can give me some advice...Ive been dating with a guy for 7 months. It was all fine for the first 2 months and he introduced me to his parents, he gave me flowers I also sent him gifts. He wanted to marry me wanted to have children but all of a sudden he started to disappear. He had panic attacks when he was just afraid to leave home so I always came to his place, took him to doctors, I forgave all bad words he told me.After that he again started to distance from me but said he just needed time to pull himself together...I gave- though he was still texting me once a day. Sometimes when I came to him, called him, texted he just sent me to hell and asked to **** off. Then he called and cryied asking for forgiveness. He always cryied after sending me to hell. Last I went to see him again by myself as I was still hoping that he loves me so I was fighting for him, I sent him gifts, I texted him nice words even if reply was- leave me alone! And forgave all flirting stuff in fb, also when he changed his status back to single I forgave him- I still kept sending him sms, calling and coming to see him....So 3 days ago I went to see him and he again said- we will marry baby soon please always be by my side. But 2 days ago he called me and said- Actually I wanted to dump you 5 months ago and I dont love you and you act like my mummy and pls dont call me , its all over bye! I was begging to stay with me but he just laughed...He still didnt delete me from whatssapp and I want to talk to him but stop myself....Yesterday I wanted to take pills and just die ( I am 26 he is 28 ) but mum called and I said to myself you will kill your parents girl not yourself only....Please tell me what to do? I feel totally damaged.....

You need therapy.
You should not be so dependent on someone like this for your own happiness. And in the words of Buffy the Vampire Slayer, "No guy is worth your life".

If you feel this damaged that means you don't know who you are as a person. You accepted his mistreatment of you which indicates low self esteem.

Make sure you are eating, taking care of yourself. Delete numbers, block from social networks and go take up a new, healthy hobby. Do you like to read? Go to the library or a bookstore and read a new book every day. Do you like dancing? Take up lessons. Get in touch with old friends. Make new friends. Learn how to be your own person again.

 

[SandraBaxton]

You need therapy.
You should not be so dependent on someone like this for your own happiness. And in the words of Buffy the Vampire Slayer, "No guy is worth your life".

If you feel this damaged that means you don't know who you are as a person. You accepted his mistreatment of you which indicates low self esteem.

Make sure you are eating, taking care of yourself. Delete numbers, block from social networks and go take up a new, healthy hobby. Do you like to read? Go to the library or a bookstore and read a new book every day. Do you like dancing? Take up lessons. Get in touch with old friends. Make new friends. Learn how to be your own person again.

Thank you for advice. Well I like to read, also I took first place in salsa dancing before, I am working as well and I used to like my job, I also liked to go to sport and I have still membership, I used to have many friends around but now- I have nothing. I go to work just to sit there 9-10 hrs then go home, go to bed and try to sleep in this ****ing pain. I also check his whatssapp each 5 mins as he didnt delete me so I can see when he is online...I still hope he will write me and say I am sorry. I forgot to mention that last week I found out tt I was pregnant and when he found out he was very angry and scared but said anyway we will get marry and anyway he wanted to have kids. But the next day he again became agressive and ignored my calls so ( sorry ) I started to bleed and lost a baby. He was happy though and said that now he will forgive me for being pregnant.....

 

[pinkfl]

You sound really messed up.
I really hope you were actually pregnant and took a test instead of just having a late period. No offense but you honestly sound like one of those girls that try to get pregnant to try and trap a man into marriage.

 

[SandraBaxton]

You sound really messed up.
I really hope you were actually pregnant and took a test instead of just having a late period. No offense but you honestly sound like one of those girls that try to get pregnant to try and trap a man into marriage.

I actually went to the doctor, besides we were protecting but that night he said he didnt want to protect as anyway he wants to have kids and get married asap, I asked him 1000 times if he was sure and he said yes my love, so it was like this....

 

[itcantgetworse]

day 6 all done had thoughts but wasnt tempted to contact

 

[itcantgetworse]

right must get motivated for new years eve ,need to get some pictures of me having fun and with some women nothing else required just pictures get my confidence back amazing how u lose it after 18 months (no contact no looking fed up) sorry guys just me motivating myself or trying

 

[sadonomspa]

Alright, almost two weeks. Roller coaster of emotions, everytime she contacts me and I ignore her she posts a new pic of a diff guy and her on fb.
Feeling much better these days. But its tough when she contacts me on holidays even though she left me a week before xmas lol.

 

[pinkfl]

Alright, almost two weeks. Roller coaster of emotions, everytime she contacts me and I ignore her she posts a new pic of a diff guy and her on fb.
Feeling much better these days. But its tough when she contacts me on holidays even though she left me a week before xmas lol.

block her on Facebook. The whole point is to completely remove your ex from your life. They are no longer committed to the relationship.

 

[sadonomspa]

Done.

Feels really good

 

[itcantgetworse]

well ive done a whole 7 days now ,does it feel good no ,but do i feel in control yes do i miss her yes ,do i wanna her to tx yes ,but only so it gives me strength to think yes think of me and start hurting im thinking yes do that so i can ignore you sounds weird ,i aint no young kid but i know her well and i know the excuse i got aint right ,it isnt about what she said it is about something totally diff amazing when you clear your head how you really can see things diff .was i so that happy NO why then, i was content as she was ,but she thinks she could pull this **** off do what she thought was right and pick me up after xmas and new year ,long story to do with kids ,thing is i did get upset but i didnt beg asked to be friends but then took this challenge up im more interested now see if im right ,will i go back dunno would i tx her straight back if she tx me hell no time will tell ,if i know her ill be right if she dont i never knew her but what ever happens im becoming a better person for it .thank you all i keep reading everything on this site alot helps ,at the end of the day i can blow steem of on here that helps feels like someone is listening

 

[Purefilth]

I'm listening bro
Your doing well, keep it up.

 

[Kawai]

Done this many times. Without fail, every single girl I've gone NC on has contacted me. Albeit there were one or two waited a year or almost a year, it seems to be a really solid method way of getting the girl re-interested. Of course at that point you still have to have your stuff straight, but at least she's looking again.

With all but one example, I have chosen to never go back with that person simply because after the time away I realized these women were not what my imagination built them up to be.

It's really cool to read the stories on here. Understand that we all have moments of fault where we may regress. You can spend 10-15 years making progress only to forget one or two principles and fall backward for a moment or two...we're all still human. Good work to all those who are sticking with it.

 

[XMinister]

No contact is really hard, but once you've tested the waters and you've been through a scenario like that, it makes things easier. Not the emotions going through it, but the predictability that you now have in the situation helps ease the pain.

It seems that most relationships at a young age end up this way. I really don't blame anyone, men or women. The game can be tweaked in either favor, but people just want to fvck everyone and everything until they've had their fill. Then as they get older, settling down looks appealing. It's the nature of this game. Not 100%, but generally speaking. That's my opinion.