The *No Contact* Challenge! ( Read this if you just got dumped)

[bigdrov1x]

Been there in a workplace love triangle before. It was hell for a while, but you will get your groove back. Something will come up, and you will forget her in time. Mine, I NCed her as much as I wanted to call and "win her back". The best thing that you can do is NOTHING!! Mine even tried to eventually talk to me again, asking details about my life etc. I was so mad and hurt, that I just couldnt "let her in" anymore. I answered her questions with the shortest most vague answers possible. Trust me, women go nuts when they used to own you, but sense that they do not affect you anymore. Also, do you really beleive that how your thing started that "it" would last. I am going through a NC right now, it sucks, but it will pass. Trust me, ive been there before.

 

[pinkfl]

Desdinova in the context of your situation I would advise letting her know. Call and say "listen I really don't want to talk long but what you are doing is damaging your health". Then cite your source and end the call. If you can run it by a mutual friend instead then even better...then you don't have to talk to her.

 

[Desdinova]

Desdinova in the context of your situation I would advise letting her know. Call and say "listen I really don't want to talk long but what you are doing is damaging your health". Then cite your source and end the call. If you can run it by a mutual friend instead then even better...then you don't have to talk to her.

The thing is, all that 5hit comes as a packaged deal: care, concern, love and support. It's no longer my job to be concerned about her health nor what she does to her body. She's done some other stupid things that I expressed my concern about and managed to steer her away from. The day she terminated the relationship, she lost all of that. It was her choice to eliminate me from her life and all the fantastic things I did to enhance it.

The unfortunate thing for her is I confidently outlined those things in the last communication I sent her (which was a message on FB - which she can keep forever). I wasn't whiny about it, I wasn't rubbing her nose in it, I told her that I took pride in being her strength, her support, a source of positive influence, and able to make her laugh when she feels like garbage. I did it all very consistently and confidently. I'm certain she's been feeling horribly empty since she terminated the relationship....and that's the price a woman should pay when she throws away the great catch.

 

[j0504s]

8 days N/C after re initiating. today hurts more then most, Im still in awe she is with another guy already. It makes me feel super ****ty. I try remindin my self that she is sick, a recovering addict as well as BPD, but it doesnt help much. I feel the feelin of WHY THE F**K WOULDNT YOU WANT ME. My Ego speaking, damn man i am down and today will be tough at work.

 

[Scootietrue]

True

Really not cool getting involved when one or both is married. As for the woman? No loss, you see how easily she branch swings. If she didn't do it now, it would be later. Remember, if she will cheat WITH you, she will cheat ON you.

Learn a lesson, forget her, and move on. And learn to date single woman, makes life much easier.

You are so right. I should have known better. I'm 41 and it just feels like that she was the one for me. As pathetic as that sounds. Our "relationship" lasted over 7 years. It seems like there was a real bond between us. We spent tons of time together. Vacations, holidays etc., it was almost like we were the real couple. I think I'm just regretting not ending my marriage sooner. She said repeatedly how important that was and I basically ignorned it worrying about our job situation. Now I'm filled with "what ifs" and that seems to be the worst part of everything.

But she seems like she is rocking along just fine. That really messes with me.

 

[Purefilth]

8 days N/C after re initiating. today hurts more then most, Im still in awe she is with another guy already. It makes me feel super ****ty. I try remindin my self that she is sick, a recovering addict as well as BPD, but it doesnt help much. I feel the feelin of WHY THE F**K WOULDNT YOU WANT ME. My Ego speaking, damn man i am down and today will be tough at work.

BPD is why - dont take it personally, you cant save these.
Her loss dude.

Youll be fine just stay the path

 

[j0504s]

Day 9 on n/c now yesterday i did well during the day and at night was in mad emotional pain, this is taking the life out of me. I still wake up every morning feelin so sad and we have been broken up for 5 weeks now...im still mad at myself for picking up her dumb phone call on christmas what minipulative *****, f*** BPD chicks they suck the life out of you.....

 

[Scootietrue]

The past is the past. Forget it, it can't be changed. You might have ended your own marriage in 1/2 the time you did, and she may have pulled the same stunt.

Forget her! Did you ever think she is "sucking her way to the top" by dating her new boss? Don't doubt it or slough that off man, it happens all the time.

Dude, I really appreciate your advice. I'm getting better. Everything you said has already come into my mind and I know that you are right. What made me think that our thing was ever going to turn into something real.

I doubt she would call just because of the b*tch she is, but if she does, I will not ask her to come back but I feel like I would probably end up talking with her. I know that is not smart.

 

[ivvan]

So found out that two days ago my ex put me on restricted list on her facebook. I wasn't contacting her, not sending any messages on fb nothing. Sent some random merry christmas wishes that you send to everybody on your mobile sms list.

She replied with same stuff. Any ideas why she did so? Even if she moved on hiding things on your profile after all that time seems strange to me. It's been like 4 months since last contact

 

[The Gambler]

Here's a song for everyone in NC mode... Don't click here unless you can handle heavy three-chord American pop punk:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SBdFJhmVXhg

 

[guyshy78]

Day 2. We talked on the phone late 2 nights ago, after she talked on the phone with her ex from before for several hours. She said she still wasn't over THAT ex even after dating me for 1.5 years. Wtf? Told me she never really loved me and that I didn't know the real her. **** that, she showed her true colors. Haha whatever. Its still hard not texting her after all of that. Even on the second day feeeling more in control though. Is she missing me? Maybe, but I like to think she's realizing she no longer has this hold over me.

Glad I found this

 

[The Gambler]

Day 2. We talked on the phone late 2 nights ago, after she talked on the phone with her ex from before for several hours. She said she still wasn't over THAT ex even after dating me for 1.5 years. Wtf? Told me she never really loved me and that I didn't know the real her. **** that, she showed her true colors. Haha whatever. Its still hard not texting her after all of that. Even on the second day feeeling more in control though. Is she missing me? Maybe, but I like to think she's realizing she no longer has this hold over me.

Glad I found this

Bro, that's some heavy stuff... Keep looking and walking forward, and good things will happen. You don't want to waste any more time with someone who isn't putting YOU first in their life. Like you already stated, there's a good chance she will be contacting you again -- SOON. Whatever you do, don't fall for it. It'll just make things 1,000 times worse.

If she couldn't sort things out in a year and a half, then something is wrong here. You deserve better than that!

 

[itcantgetworse]

need advice now ,broke the nc ,by tx how dumb ,but she is tx back saying ok things nothing bad some compliments ,been to the house had a chat explained some things about my self had some drinks ,got some sexual contact ,went home ,tx the next day jokey she tx back jokey but not many then about 3 more txs in the day stuff like what we are doing ,ive stopped tx now and left it not back together but is there signs there or not or should i go back to nc thanks

 

[Purefilth]

hi just started my nc today ,this is gonna be so hard for me dont know what i done wrong i did ask but dont really get the answers ,mine started when i had affair with my friends wife yeah awfull didnt know i had that in me ,but i did say no for a year refused the non stop advances i got weak gave in went through hell lost 99% of my friends as we had alot of the same friends done all the stuff asked of me should have bailed out then when telling me can and cants ,anyway gave it everything recently i broke my leg all of a sudden didnt wanna know me kept asking whats wrong ,all i got was its your leg lee its horrible seeing you in that cast so sleeping together stopped being invited around got less ,leg out of cast things picked up for a bit ,but i noticed the kids dad was being around the house more so i questioned that said im being silly hes here for the kids so my reply is why not his place so things got a bit heated but nothing major just expressing my thoughts not like he has them alot had them on a friday evening till sat about 12 so that was the only time we got together ,anyway we go for a drink in the pub and i get accused of being jelous etc i said no its about how uncomfortable i am he being around all the time ,the next thing i know she says its over i dont love you nomore ,i said thats weird you was only telling me 9 days ago how much you did and how we would have a nice xmas thats it now my mind is racing not sleeping eating you know all the stuff so unhappy as i really loved her and gave up my life style went through all the pain etc to be told this so im gonna give this no contact ago wish me luck i need it

well ive done a whole 7 days now ,does it feel good no ,but do i feel in control yes do i miss her yes ,do i wanna her to tx yes ,but only so it gives me strength to think yes think of me and start hurting im thinking yes do that so i can ignore you sounds weird ,i aint no young kid but i know her well and i know the excuse i got aint right ,it isnt about what she said it is about something totally diff amazing when you clear your head how you really can see things diff .was i so that happy NO why then, i was content as she was ,but she thinks she could pull this **** off do what she thought was right and pick me up after xmas and new year ,long story to do with kids ,thing is i did get upset but i didnt beg asked to be friends but then took this challenge up im more interested now see if im right ,will i go back dunno would i tx her straight back if she tx me hell no time will tell ,if i know her ill be right if she dont i never knew her but what ever happens im becoming a better person for it .thank you all i keep reading everything on this site alot helps ,at the end of the day i can blow steem of on here that helps feels like someone is listening

right must get motivated for new years eve ,need to get some pictures of me having fun and with some women nothing else required just pictures get my confidence back amazing how u lose it after 18 months (no contact no looking fed up) sorry guys just me motivating myself or trying

come on man. You were doing so well


why did you break it?

should've just posted here.

Do NOT contact her now. See what happens - see if SHE initiates something.

 

[itcantgetworse]

i went to a funeral then started drinking knew it was friday dont have kids with her last tx i got this afternnon( bloody knackered heading home now x) i didnt reply

 

[Purefilth]

Ok bro.

I wouldnt answer to any menial texts like that. As long as you realise you're back to Day1 today.

 

[itcantgetworse]

yeah must follow the plan of nc thanks for the advice

 

[bigdrov1x]

been since new years eve since my nc. I havent broke form, and will not because I have done this before. I am pretty angry though because I actually did give this bird and xmas present. It wasnt a big thing, just a 50$ bottle of perfume that she likes. Anyways I texted her on christmas and got a return merry xmas love u! Now what pisses me off and got me thinking is that I had a chat w/ her before new years and she didnt mention anything about the gift, I had to bring it up. I do not want my ass kissed, but I think that it would be courteous to acknowledge it and maybe a thank you? Also no gift from her as well. I didnt expect or want nything nyways. I am just pissed because I broke up with a bird that was 100x better than this one. I am a stupid ****, i had good sex on the reg, car sex, whatever. She did whatever I wanted no prob, sweet, caring, etc. It was almost too easy, and I threw it all away for this ****. I just wish she would have had the decency to just tell me to **** off and be out of her life. I guess that is my punishment for being an ******* to my previous bird. i am a firm believer in Karma now.

 

[itcantgetworse]

just got another tx
just wanted to say hi.hope u did all your listing and hope your having a gud nite.i'll probably be in bed for 9. shattered lol .speak soon xx
can i read anything into this

 

[Purefilth]

Attention attention attention that's all don't respond, itcan'tgetworse