Clearly her life isn't going great. I would imagine she has developed an addiction as well, to let herself go like this.
She was smoking ever since i knew her, in the last months of our relationship she became a really heavy smoker. She also liked to drink, even if she cut back a lot in the four years we were together, sometimes she lost control and blacked out.
In the last two months we were together she went off the pill, perhaps she's going through hormonal changes.
She turned our relationship in an on/off thing. She broke up four times in one month, trying to gain control. Two times she came back on her own, two times her sister told me she's hurting a lot and wants me to come back, and I did two times - bad mistake.
The fifth and final breakup was my decision. That was the last day I saw her. Till today...
I forgot a key at my buddies flat yesterday and because I needed it for work I had to drive to their company two hours ago.
Parked my car few streets away, so nobody can see me and met with my buddy. I told him straight that I doesn't feel comfortable... We were sitting in the car for a few minutes talking and suddenly I saw her passing my car with a few of her coworkers. She looked at me, waved with her hand and came to the drivers door, reached to the door pull. But I was faster and only let the window down. We greeted unexpected friendly. She was little bit nervous, I just smiled friendly and to my surpise I was little bit nervous, too but acted really calm.
Asked each other "how you are" "good"...
She: "I have found some stuff from you. Just books and some other stuff, do you want it?"
Me: "yeah, he told me. I don't miss anything, but just give it to him and I get it when I visit him"
She: "Ok"
Me: "I found a book from you in my boxes, too. Should I give it to him, so he can bring it for you?"
She: "No, I don't need it anymore."
Me smirking: "Ok, bye."
She: "Bye..."
Little bit awkward nonsense... I'm sure I noticed she was disappointed, that I didn't act out of character. One of her coworkers, who's a good friend of her and also knows me for years, turned red like a tomato.
Damn, my buddy didn't lie... She had a thick jacket, so I couldn't notice any more weight at her than I am used to, but her hair were greasy, her whole face full of acne and scars everywhere from scratching the pimples. I was shocked. She looked aged a few years and I wasn't able to see the beautiful woman I know for more than five years. If I met her like this, I never had made a move on her.
I can't tell that she looked happy. She noticed, that I observed her face during our conversation - I wasn't able to hide.
I can't feel anything than pity for her right now.
What I heard also the last night, she tried to run mind games over mutual friends. Everyone was told by me to don't let me know of anything if she reaches out. Thankfully, they managed to stay silent the whole time.
Strange that this happens all, right after I'm able to let go of my anger. Two weeks ago I think I wouldn't have been able to be confronted with her.
@Mauser96 I will send you a PM.