Haha i don’t know if fun is the word, maybe entertaining or a challenge in a sense? I’m trying to keep it military no contact. I’ve only told family and my inner tight knit circle we broke up. I made no mention of it or really even spoke about it to our mutual friends. Literally trying to drop off the face of the earth that she lives in and going to new places I don’t normally hang out and hanging out with new or very old friends. Everyone knows we broke up I’m sure but I usually never bring it up and keep it under wraps.
The *No Contact* Challenge! ( Read this if you just got dumped)
- Thread starter Daydream Engineer
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Rawksteddy
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now in day 2 no contact. It’s a weird experience, my stomach hurts because of this situation. and I just want to not give a crap. We didn’t date for that long but it’s still a fight to not reach out since I’m used to having her around and speaking with her. when she ended things I didn’t ask any questions. Just agreed that it’s probably for the best and told her that we’ll go our separate ways now. She wanted to be friends but I told her no and that I need my space right now. She apologized and said that she didn’t mean to hurt me and that she cares about me a lot. I responded that I didn’t want to talk about my feelings. And that friendship isn’t the relationship I wanted with her and it’d be a lie for me to pretend I did. She tried getting mad at me. Then I instituted my no contact.
bcude
Master Don Juan
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Well done man. Every breakup is a loss in some way. Let it hurt, don't resist that feeling, embrace it but try to stay busy. It's a process that will take time. See it as the old you is leaving your body for a new better version entering a new decade with endless of possibilities. You are now free to do whataver you want.
Stay strong with no contact, think about your healing.
Rawksteddy
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well I screwed up today and texted her. Starting back at the beginning now. I was doing so well but started to question myself. It ended with us fighting because she’s a damn lying hoe. Anyway. Day 1 will be New Year’s Day lol.
It happens. All you can do is learn from it and move on. I've been tempted to contact my ex. Really struggled with it yesterday. However, I refuse to do so.
You have to remember you are better than that. Unless you value yourself, no one else will. Don't get me wrong it's not easy. Nothing worth doing is. However it will make you a stronger and better person. Don't beat yourself up too much. Just acknowledge your mistake, dust yourself off and keep pushing. Happy new year.
I would have kept no contact. With the 41yo woman I had a few dates with, she joined same dating site POF as me. Every so often, she kept viewing my profile. I decided yesterday since I wasn't getting any other matches, to just delete my profile. Will make her wonder what happened to me.
Rawksteddy
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Okay so I’m on day 5 now and am feeling much better. I went and smashed a different ex though lol #victorylap. But now facing forward. Have a date set up with a new girl in a couple days. Will probably follow the advice to get in the gym though. Shouldn’t be so lazy. Haha
Rawksteddy
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Day 6 no contact. Yesterday I was shaking it rough a bit. I woke up this morning to that same damn feeling in my stomach. But then I thought that this is getting stupid. I was shaking it rough because I was thinking that she’s going to come back and everyone knows how those thoughts go. Anyway, then I though no screw her, she’s the one losing out not me. Even if she comes back I’m not getting back together with her. So I got up, went to work, went grocery shopping. Cleaned up the house. Next I’m going clothing shopping. After that to the gym. Me caring seems to come and go. But I want it gone forever. Find someone better.
Day 1
I'm starting over. I had to reach out for business purposes but the fact that I hesitated is why I'm starting anew.
5 months later and the thought of talking to her made me freeze. Why I cannot explain. I'm happy with how life is going. Managed to add a couple of unexpected plates to my rotation and work is going great... It's crazy. My homeboy said something the other day that struck me. We were talking about one of my new conquests and he mentioned how I still was holding out hope. I asked why... He says because you don't even remotely care about anybody but J... I couldn't refute it. Smh. Anyway because of that I think it's time to start over.
I'm starting over. I had to reach out for business purposes but the fact that I hesitated is why I'm starting anew.
5 months later and the thought of talking to her made me freeze. Why I cannot explain. I'm happy with how life is going. Managed to add a couple of unexpected plates to my rotation and work is going great... It's crazy. My homeboy said something the other day that struck me. We were talking about one of my new conquests and he mentioned how I still was holding out hope. I asked why... He says because you don't even remotely care about anybody but J... I couldn't refute it. Smh. Anyway because of that I think it's time to start over.
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Rawksteddy
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Sitting outside the gym. Smoked a bit of weed so am going to procrastinate a minute lol. It’s a weird thing. Being dumped seems to have a negative impact on the confidence. Human psychology is F****ed. Alright heading in.
It does affect your confidence, but stay active and you will regain it.
Strange... I quit mj while I was in the relationship with my ex because it made my mind spin endlessly. After the breakup, a dubie here and there helped me sorting my mind.
Rawksteddy
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Went filled my fridge with food, bought new clothes, hit the gym. I dunno. For the first time in a while, I’m feeling excited for life!! Going NC and ditching that chick’s offer of friendship was an amazingly good decision.
If she sucked you in again and then flaked again your NC should be a permanent next.
Yep, kinda pissed about it. My thinking was she initiated contact, so I'll set a date that leads to hooking up.
I think my attraction to her clouded my judgement. Now I'm thinking "hold on a minute. Shes 34 and lives with parents". What the ****. Plus she is a bit on the heavy side. Didnt really have a hot body. And she thinks she is God's gift playing mind games. Hilarious!
Rawksteddy
Don Juan
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You’ve been watching some Corey Wayne? Lol. I think mine is permanently gone. So I’m not expecting her to contact me.
I would hard next her if I were you. Next time she reaches out maybe just try ignoring it?
I
If she calls. Straight to voicemail. do not listen delete. Do not call back.
If she emails.do not read. Delete. Do not reply.
If she sends anything through any social media. Block.
She gets No texts. No calls. No email. No social media messages. No replies No messages nothing. Not a thing from you.
You are way to busy to entertain some mind game playing failure to launch immature woman child who still lives with her parents in her mid 30's.
Never let her looks be the judge as to how you proceed. That is you proceeding on your interest level. Let her actions show you when and how to proceed. That is going by her interest level.
Flaking = Next.
If she texts, ignore delete. Do not reply.
If she calls. Straight to voicemail. do not listen delete. Do not call back.
If she emails.do not read. Delete. Do not reply.
If she sends anything through any social media. Block.
She gets No texts. No calls. No email. No social media messages. No replies No messages nothing. Not a thing from you.
You are way to busy to entertain some mind game playing failure to launch immature woman child who still lives with her parents in her mid 30's.
Never let her looks be the judge as to how you proceed. That is you proceeding on your interest level. Let her actions show you when and how to proceed. That is going by her interest level.
Flaking = Next.
What would constitute flaking behaviour? At what point to you say Im outta here. I have known some people to call out their behaviour and if they don't change it, they are gone.
Can relate. I've just bought a ton of new clothes.
Out and about today I felt more confident and pride in myself again. Caught one woman giving me a look, but she had a kid. She was hot though. Not sure if it was a different me or the clothes.
Like you I am considering the gym to keep fit. Thinking of doing a martial arts class to get fit again. Point is, maybe its time to focus on myself and forget about the WRONG women.
Anything but compliance is flaky. Anything but a flat out yes is a no or flaky. When you dont get a straight answer. When they cancel. When they make excuses. When they dont comply.
When they jack you around looking for attention all the time and suddenly vanish when you try to make plans.
Calling out their behaviour is a waste of time. You absence will speak louder than any words you could use. If it doesn't then your presense meant nothing to them in the first place.