The *No Contact* Challenge! ( Read this if you just got dumped)

[Reykhel]

Maybe "feelings" was the wrong choice of word?

Our conversations seem more than just words. There is feeling behind the words?

The other girls I'm talking to the words are just words. A means to an end. The words don't have any life.

With this other girl the words are alive and breathing.

Is it not possible to like someone more or less based on your conversation with them? Maybe the "feeling" is a gut feeling. A positive gut feeling towards this women.

Or maybe I'm looking to fill a void and projecting.

I can only speculate, you must decide...

Maybe you've just come out of a relationship and your emotions are all over the place......drunk driver at the wheel....

Maybe you have a few options and you are feeling that little charge of confidence that comes with options. that feeling that comes when spinning plates. This could be a positive. However, because your emotions are all over the place you are misdiagnosing what you are "feeling" and believing that the excitement is intact feelings for the unseen girl. False perception I say, false perception.

Maybe you are projecting your inner king onto this unseen woman and when she does not deliver....because she will not deliver, you'll be disappointed and wounded once more....

Whatever you conclude, it surely cannot be that you have feelings for an unknown entity. I never understand these "feelings" from the outset. Infatuations come and go oh to quickly and they are really a danger sign, as an infatuation will have you away with the fairies and not in objective control of your own emotions. When we lose objectivity, we can no longer see the situation nor the person clearly.

Where are you finding these said women? Are you on plenty of fatties?

You said you have a history of addiction, why don't you go to the other end of that anxiety spectrum and do something for the benefit of your mental and physical health. A new venture that has no history and no connection with your ex. A new sport. A martial art. No connection to your ex neither to other women. This is for you. Connect with new people. It will have an enormous positive impact on your life...

I'll make another suggestion. You said you were going to read the books in the list provided by a delightful young chap who has overcome the tragedy of a breakup and risen to become a better man. Reading is essential for a man's growth. The suggestion is to stay away from relationship books for the moment. Focus on your growth and your success. Your happiness. Then come at the relationship and pick up material with a better frame of mind.

 

[finality]

Where are you finding these said women? Are you on plenty of fatties?

You said you have a history of addiction, why don't you go to the other end of that anxiety spectrum and do something for the benefit of your mental and physical health. A new venture that has no history and no connection with your ex. A new sport. A martial art. No connection to your ex neither to other women. This is for you. Connect with new people. It will have an enormous positive impact on your life...

I'll make another suggestion. You said you were going to read the books in the list provided by a delightful young chap who has overcome the tragedy of a breakup and risen to become a better man. Reading is essential for a man's growth. The suggestion is to stay away from relationship books for the moment. Focus on your growth and your success. Your happiness. Then come at the relationship and pick up material with a better frame of mind.

I'm on Match and plenty of whales. The girl I'm talking about I actually met her online 2 years ago right at the time I met my X so I stopped perusing. We only talked a week or so 2 years ago but when I contacted last week she remembered my dogs name! I found that pretty amazing.

As for your suggestion about the opposite side of the anxiety spectrum. I joined a bunch of meet up groups last week and have already gone to 3. Some of the groups are NLP, toastmasters, and spiritual meditation type groups. I'm going to a different group almost every night and they are all geared towards self development.

I think your suggestion to drop the relationship books for a while and focus on different books for a period is a great idea. I'll be much more receptive and learn more down the line. Its also probably true that the more I grow as a person the less I will need to know about relationships.

You are a great poster.

 

[finality]

Met my plate for the first time tonight. HB8 possibly 9. Only hung out for 45 minutes but finished the night with a kiss. Going out this weekend.

Total fuks given about my x gf: ZERO

 

[finality]

Cracked on the NC again today. She called and I picked up.

She talked about how things are with her new BF and I talked about dating new women.

 

[Reykhel]

Cracked on the NC again today. She called and I picked up.

Give me your address. I'm coming over to kill you.

Why is she not busy fvcking her new boyfriend?

Why are you speaking to dead people?

 

[dustmuffin]

Cracked on the NC again today. She called and I picked up.

She talked about how things are with her new BF and I talked about dating new women.

What is the purpose of this call?

 

[finality]

What is the purpose of this call?

Not to come fuk me.

 

[Tictac]

Why are you speaking to dead people?

This ^^^^

 

[dustmuffin]

Not to come fuk me.

Block her number. She is just being a *****. Keep the stuff she gave you. She is not in charge of you.

 

[Reykhel]

Cracked on the NC again today. She called and I picked up.

She talked about how things are with her new BF and I talked about dating new women.

She talked about how things are with her new BF? Give me her address. I'm killing someone tonight.

Can't you see that she wants to keep all the emotional benefits of your relationship without
out having to give anything in return. She wants you to be there but you ain't going to get
the pvssy in return. She's running a con job on you....

Does this sound like a win/win situation?

Learn to close the door on win/lose situations that are not in your favor.

Say it when the phone rings and it's her. This is a win/lose situation.....I slam the door shut.

 

[finality]

She talked about how things are with her new BF? Give me her address. I'm killing someone tonight.

Can't you see that she wants to keep all the emotional benefits of your relationship without
out having to give anything in return. She wants you to be there but you ain't going to get
the pvssy in return. She's running a con job on you....

Does this sound like a win/win situation?

Learn to close the door on win/lose situations that are not in your favor.

Say it when the phone rings and it's her. This is a win/lose situation.....I slam the door shut.

I slammed it shut last night.

I think I was getting the emotional benefits until I start hooking up with new plates to be honest.

 

[Reykhel]

I slammed it shut last night.

I think I was getting the emotional benefits until I start hooking up with new plates to be honest.

Do you have male friends?

Hang out with your male friends. Shoot the ****e with them.

You'll find yourself less emotionally needy towards women.

 

[CuddleJunkie]

Finality man you have to stop this ****. Feel free to give me your kik or similar if you want to vent in the moment she calls you again (and she will, as you are giving her green light).
This is going to drive you crazy. Stop it.

 

[finality]

@Reykhel

I don't really have any male friends in the city that I live. I'm working on it.

@CuddleJunkie

Thanks for the offer. We'll see how things go. I don't really feel a ton of emotions towards her right now because it's switched over to my new plate. I did tell her last night we can no longer talk anymore

However.................

I ran into her at the gym today. I was doing my own thing and then she came over and told me she had a weird dream of me last night. 20 minutes later she asked if I wanted to do abs with her. I ended up talking to her for 5 minutes about my new plate.

In hindsight my screen name should be never-ending.

 

[dustmuffin]

@Reykhel

I don't really have any male friends in the city that I live. I'm working on it.

@CuddleJunkie

Thanks for the offer. We'll see how things go. I don't really feel a ton of emotions towards her right now because it's switched over to my new plate. I did tell her last night we can no longer talk anymore

However.................

I ran into her at the gym today. I was doing my own thing and then she came over and told me she had a weird dream of me last night. 20 minutes later she asked if I wanted to do abs with her. I ended up talking to her for 5 minutes about my new plate.

In hindsight my screen name should be never-ending.

Stop it for crying out loud! She kicked you to the curb. There are consequences for her actions which is no attention from you! Be civil but give her the brush off when you see her. Let her get her validation some where else.

 

[Wisconsin144]

Time flies, it's been almost a year now, just about a month away. Do I still think about my ex? Yes at times, more and more recently for some odd reason. Do I miss her as my significant other? Not at all, do I miss her as a friend, yeah to be honest. She was pretty cool and I had a lot of fun times with her. However, there is one thing for sure, if you want to see the struggles of someone trying to cope with having lost someone they really thought was important, go ahead and read my previous posts, and I can honestly tell you first hand, after the first two or three months, its like she never existed. She does cross my mind every now and then, maybe once a week or so. However it is not destructive at all, and I am able to focus on my day and come home to the most beautiful girl I've ever met, so for all of you struggling, thinking about how hard it is to make it another day, take it from me, someone who has been through it and will give you the honest truth. -Jared (Day 318).

For those of you wondering why I even bothered coming back onto this forum, its because I know how much this helped me. Without this forum i'm not sure where I would have been, the people on here who gave me the toughest love, told me to stop being a pansy, ignore her and focus on becoming a better me. These people have actually had a huge impact on my life, and I'm so grateful I found this site. Everyone please keep your hopes up and focus on pleasing you, not anyone else!

 

[finality]

Seen my new plate last night. Got close to banging but I wasn't too aggressive since we are going out tonight and should be able to close the deal.

Woke up today missing my X tho. Today is day 1 of NC again.

 

[S. Aureus]

Day 56
So yesterday I nearly anged a new plate ut the place was too crowded wit a lot of friends and with my ex. Kinda beta because I wasnt so sure if i should had kissed her because my ex was like 5 foot from me but at the I was like **** this and did it.
The only thing that I'm sure is that this girl want something serious, but she is pretty boring and I don't want anything serious from her

 

[finality]

The b!tch texts me saying she can't talk to me any more (even though I haven't initiated contact once) and then recommended me a relationship book.

 

[kenpiffyjr]

Just ignore