The *No Contact* Challenge! ( Read this if you just got dumped)

[drake33]

Honestly I don't think you need help! After your long post, you're on your way to recovery. Now it's just dealing with the emotions. Like you said, it's HER loss. Just like my ex who is failing out of school and dating a druggie, meanwhile I'm going to college, working full time, own two cars and a motorcycle, all at the age of 17. But I thought she was so perfect? It's so true what they say about having these girls on pedestals, it's mind blowing. What you need is to enjoy what is going on in your life without this ex. Let her live in an abusive relationship if she chose that relationship, she's the idiot that chose him over you, and if she's that dense to throw away a guy that truly cared, then she is not worth the heartbreaks. Forget about this girl and base all of your love to your current girlfriend. If she stuck around for all of this, well she must be pretty great!

- Jared

Dang, I'm sorry about your situation bro! It's crazy how that works. Women will chose the crappy guys then complain when they treat them like crap...go figure!? I'm moving on. **** this ****! She doesn't deserve me anyways. Those things I mentioned above will be the hardest things for me. I'm going to reorganize myself and get my **** together. She's pathetic.

 

[Cejay]

Day 17.

NC intact.

I still think about her on and off throughout the day. Usually after work or when driving home from being out. I find myself wondering what she's doing, if she's out being a slvt. You know you wonder that about your ex too. Its ok if she is, it's not like I'm not out being a slvt myself.

When thoughts of her come up, I push them out.

I focus on her faults, our various incompatibilities - basically all the bad. I want to associate her with a feeling of "bad." It takes work, (she was such a good fvck). It does not matter what she is doing, what she is doing or who she's doing it with.

It is over and I accept that.

In some ways I'm lucky. If she were breaking NC I would be quite torn. I am not sure I would have the strength not to have a "get back together" conversation. Reading the stories here, of the fellas that tried that and got burned, helps a lot.

There's plenty of plate spinning action. I've been contacted (surprised) by two old plates in the last week or so. Its like they sense my availability so WTF I warm them a bit. I have a couple 2nd dates this week.

I'm taking a break from meetups the rest of the week to fit in some 2nd dates and to get $hi1t done before my trip.

I'm travelling for business next week, and swamped with work. The ex will come to mind when I'm alone in the hotel but I have a full schedule so that shouldn't be very often.

I'm forging on.

Whats helping is: Staying busy and lots of female attention (even if they aren't 9's). I've no intention of a relationship. After this experience I will be a lot more careful who I commit to.

If I'm "over sharing" let me know and I'll cut it back.

Keep going guys. All the best.

CJ.

 

[Wisconsin144]

Dang, I'm sorry about your situation bro! It's crazy how that works. Women will chose the crappy guys then complain when they treat them like crap...go figure!? I'm moving on. **** this ****! She doesn't deserve me anyways. Those things I mentioned above will be the hardest things for me. I'm going to reorganize myself and get my **** together. She's pathetic.

Exactly man, be a better you. She's just going to keep you on a leash otherwise. And nobody deserves that, chase YOUR happiness for you and your daughter.

 

[Wisconsin144]

Four weeks down. This is getting much easier!

 

[drake33]

Exactly man, be a better you. She's just going to keep you on a leash otherwise. And nobody deserves that, chase YOUR happiness for you and your daughter.

That is exactly what I intend to do. Gonna relax this weekend, do some organization with my life. Some soul searching if you will. Begin to really propel my life in a more forward direction. The ex is on her own. She'll cry wolf eventually...and there will be no one to save her. "You see a cape on me? I ain't into saving these hoes ya bish!" Focus is purely on my daughter. If the ex has anything to say about her, I'm all ears. Other than that, off is the general direction in which she needs to go f!!k! I won't take the bait again. I won't have a family like I always envisioned but that doesn't mean I can't have a family at all. She can continue to work her crappy job, have her crappy boyfriend, sink deeper into the abyss and be powerless and not have the balls to change it. Meanwhile I'll continue improving my life on the daily! Becoming the strongest version of myself mentally, physically, spiritually, and emotionally.

 

[Lozboss]

Day 3 of NC.

Brief Synopsis- Dumped the ex who I was dating again because I found out she was on POF. Lies to me and says it's not her.

She's trying to crawl back, without admitting guilt. Mainly because she's feeling vulnerable with stuff in her life right now.

Not going to even give her the pleasure of my response. Totally silent.

 

[drake33]

Day 3 of NC.

Brief Synopsis- Dumped the ex who I was dating again because I found out she was on POF. Lies to me and says it's not her.

She's trying to crawl back, without admitting guilt. Mainly because she's feeling vulnerable with stuff in her life right now.

Not going to even give her the pleasure of my response. Totally silent.

Awesome bro! Just ignore that bish! You're above that. Let her deal with the consequences of her actions.

 

[drake33]

Day 17.

NC intact.

I still think about her on and off throughout the day. Usually after work or when driving home from being out. I find myself wondering what she's doing, if she's out being a slvt. You know you wonder that about your ex too. Its ok if she is, it's not like I'm not out being a slvt myself.

When thoughts of her come up, I push them out.

I focus on her faults, our various incompatibilities - basically all the bad. I want to associate her with a feeling of "bad." It takes work, (she was such a good fvck). It does not matter what she is doing, what she is doing or who she's doing it with.

It is over and I accept that.

In some ways I'm lucky. If she were breaking NC I would be quite torn. I am not sure I would have the strength not to have a "get back together" conversation. Reading the stories here, of the fellas that tried that and got burned, helps a lot.

There's plenty of plate spinning action. I've been contacted (surprised) by two old plates in the last week or so. Its like they sense my availability so WTF I warm them a bit. I have a couple 2nd dates this week.

I'm taking a break from meetups the rest of the week to fit in some 2nd dates and to get $hi1t done before my trip.

I'm travelling for business next week, and swamped with work. The ex will come to mind when I'm alone in the hotel but I have a full schedule so that shouldn't be very often.

I'm forging on.

Whats helping is: Staying busy and lots of female attention (even if they aren't 9's). I've no intention of a relationship. After this experience I will be a lot more careful who I commit to.

If I'm "over sharing" let me know and I'll cut it back.

Keep going guys. All the best.

CJ.

Thanks for your kind words about my situation. As for yours, it sounds like you're doing awesome. Like you, pushing the thoughts of her out and focusing on her flaws is best. Kicking them off of the pedestal.. Spin all the plates you feel like. You'll know when enough is enough. A few here and there just to keep the mind occupied and off of the ex. Stay strong bro. Don't know you're entire story but you're doing good.

 

[Evolvedchode]

Day 19: NC is not working out too well due to work. She decided to get my manager in on this and my manager said we should work things out. Today we had a private chat. It basically came down to her telling me that she didn't want to ever see me or speak to me again. This chat was supposed to clear the air for work reasons, but it ended up being her telling me she hates me and she ended up walking away when I wanted to reply.
I have to admit I felt and feel ****. She's just so venomous and she did manage to get to me, even though I told myself I wouldn't allow that. Ended up calling my manager to have a chat with them together, because this didn't solve a thing.
Short summary, I guess I'm emotionally detaching, but having someone on this planet who hates me sucks. Think she's unable to move on without actually hating me, so she finds reasons to do so.

 

[Cejay]

Good riddance.

That's the right attitude.

CJ.

That is exactly what I intend to do. Gonna relax this weekend, do some organization with my life. Some soul searching if you will. Begin to really propel my life in a more forward direction. The ex is on her own. She'll cry wolf eventually...and there will be no one to save her. "You see a cape on me? I ain't into saving these hoes ya bish!" Focus is purely on my daughter. If the ex has anything to say about her, I'm all ears. Other than that, off is the general direction in which she needs to go f!!k! I won't take the bait again. I won't have a family like I always envisioned but that doesn't mean I can't have a family at all. She can continue to work her crappy job, have her crappy boyfriend, sink deeper into the abyss and be powerless and not have the balls to change it. Meanwhile I'll continue improving my life on the daily! Becoming the strongest version of myself mentally, physically, spiritually, and emotionally.

 

[Cejay]

Day 18

Still NC. Not much to report beyond that.

CJ.

 

[drake33]

So, daughter is with her mother this weekend, and before she screwed me over, she had agreed to let me take daughter to an event for a little while. Exs grandmother was going to bring daughter for a bit and take her back to her mom. I know this may sound crappy of me, but ex text and asked what time I wanted her tomorrow and I said she doesnt need to come. In order to truly move forward, I need to let all of that stuff go. I feel kind of bad about this, because I hate to do that to my daughter, but I just need to completely disconnect from her family and the friendliness that lies between us. All of that is over. Ex actually called me...twice....saying "Are you sure?" Blah blah blah. I politely said, no that's okay. It was weird...she called when a simple text would suffice. Also caught her driving by my work again. Ever seen "Goodfellas"? Where everyone got busted and Pauly handed him money and with a tear in his eye he said..."Now I've gotta turn my back." That's exactly how I feel about her after Sunday. **** you! I know this is something that hurts my daughter, but she will be just fine Im sure. I will do some fun stuff with her next weekend, on my weekend. And she hasnt really been told too much about it. This is for the best.

 

[Wisconsin144]

So, daughter is with her mother this weekend, and before she screwed me over, she had agreed to let me take daughter to an event for a little while. Exs grandmother was going to bring daughter for a bit and take her back to her mom. I know this may sound crappy of me, but ex text and asked what time I wanted her tomorrow and I said she doesnt need to come. In order to truly move forward, I need to let all of that stuff go. I feel kind of bad about this, because I hate to do that to my daughter, but I just need to completely disconnect from her family and the friendliness that lies between us. All of that is over. Ex actually called me...twice....saying "Are you sure?" Blah blah blah. I politely said, no that's okay. It was weird...she called when a simple text would suffice. Also caught her driving by my work again. Ever seen "Goodfellas"? Where everyone got busted and Pauly handed him money and with a tear in his eye he said..."Now I've gotta turn my back." That's exactly how I feel about her after Sunday. **** you! I know this is something that hurts my daughter, but she will be just fine Im sure. I will do some fun stuff with her next weekend, on my weekend. And she hasnt really been told too much about it. This is for the best.

Keep up all of the hard work to get her out of your life. You deserve better and will achieve more without her holding you back! It can be hard to forget someone you once lived for, but when they change, we must do the same.

-Jared

 

[Cejay]

Day 19

Still NC.

Date last night wasn't great. I just wasn't into her/attracted to her. I don't think it's ex related.

CJ.

 

[drake33]

Keep up all of the hard work to get her out of your life. You deserve better and will achieve more without her holding you back! It can be hard to forget someone you once lived for, but when they change, we must do the same.

-Jared

True! I dont know if I should continue seeing the girl I am right now because I dont feel like Im giving her my all, even though Ive been seeing her for an entire year. Sometimes I find myself thinking of my ex when Im with her...not cool. Not normal. I love my gf, shes great, dont mistake it. Just dont know if Im truly giving her my all. Im not going to lie, this **** sucks right now. I cant believe I allowed myself to even talk to the ex, get roped back into that ****, and then get my heart smashed. I just am not completely sure where to go from here.

 

[ZTIME]

True! I dont know if I should continue seeing the girl I am right now because I dont feel like Im giving her my all, even though Ive been seeing her for an entire year. Sometimes I find myself thinking of my ex when Im with her...not cool. Not normal. I love my gf, shes great, dont mistake it. Just dont know if Im truly giving her my all. Im not going to lie, this **** sucks right now. I cant believe I allowed myself to even talk to the ex, get roped back into that ****, and then get my heart smashed. I just am not completely sure where to go from here.

Checking back in on you D33. Not completely sure where to go from here?? And here I thought your progress was light years ahead. You truly know where to go from here. You just need to let go. Yet part of you chooses to hold on to the pain and drama.

Ask yourself this: If you got back together with your ex, would that truly be the best thing for you? Do you picture some sort of fairy tail reunion where you and her live together with your daughter till death do you part? Would she be the loving and caring girl that you've always dreamt of? Would you feel good having svx with her knowing that some other guy has recently pillaged her cash and prizes?

You and I both know there is only one direction to go from here...Move on! Be happy! Live life!

I don't know if you've seen the news so I'll clue you in on a little secret. The world is not ending today! Neither is your life! There's a world out there worth experiencing right outside of your front door.

Simple choices brother. Things are truly only as complicated as you make them.

Go out and have some fun. Take the new chick and go experience the world. Parks ,beaches ,nature trails, mountains, and more, they're all existing around you waiting to be explored.

And next weekend when you get your daughter, I suggest the same therapy.

Keep up the good fight little brother. You'll be fine, because "every day in every way you're getting better and better". Repeat that to yourself at least 50 times a day.

 

[Wisconsin144]

Checking back in on you D33. Not completely sure where to go from here?? And here I thought your progress was light years ahead. You truly know where to go from here. You just need to let go. Yet part of you chooses to hold on to the pain and drama.

Ask yourself this: If you got back together with your ex, would that truly be the best thing for you? Do you picture some sort of fairy tail reunion where you and her live together with your daughter till death do you part? Would she be the loving and caring girl that you've always dreamt of? Would you feel good having svx with her knowing that some other guy has recently pillaged her cash and prizes?

You and I both know there is only one direction to go from here...Move on! Be happy! Live life!

I don't know if you've seen the news so I'll clue you in on a little secret. The world is not ending today! Neither is your life! There's a world out there worth experiencing right outside of your front door.

Simple choices brother. Things are truly only as complicated as you make them.

Go out and have some fun. Take the new chick and go experience the world. Parks ,beaches ,nature trails, mountains, and more, they're all existing around you waiting to be explored.

And next weekend when you get your daughter, I suggest the same therapy.

Keep up the good fight little brother. You'll be fine, because "every day in every way you're getting better and better". Repeat that to yourself at least 50 times a day.

Wise words, not only for Drake here, but for all of us. I was having a bit of trouble with today, but after reading that abs truly thinkin if I would be happier with her, I was able to confidently say I would be more miserable with how she'd treat me. Good Riddance b****!

- Jared

 

[Wisconsin144]

Day 30/60

I don't ever see myself going back to her, these last thirty days have been rough and amazing all in all. I'm still suffering from the post break-up loneliness, but I'd rather have nobody than have her. My hand is now healed, and this week I'm getting my motorcycle license! I used to think I would never close her chapter in my life, and while I still think of her often, she's part of my history, NOT my future! Sosuave has been such an incredible place to help me with my healing process, with people like mauser, Drake, Josh, (lol drake & Josh) just seeing their stories progress, makes me realize mine is too. My next step is to rely on this site less and less for comfort, and more so rely on my intelligence to think over my feelings and become more of myself without her. I'll still be around making sure you guys are making progress too. But what I'm trying to say is, from day 20 to 30. It's a huge difference, I've even quit smoking completely. My journey has just begun, and I'm extremely excited to see my progression!

-Jared

 

[Cejay]

Nice!

I'm a ways off from where you are but hope to catch up with you soon.

CJ.

I don't ever see myself going back to her, these last thirty days have been rough and amazing all in all. I'm still suffering from the post break-up loneliness, but I'd rather have nobody than have her. My hand is now healed, and this week I'm getting my motorcycle license! I used to think I would never close her chapter in my life, and while I still think of her often, she's part of my history, NOT my future! Sosuave has been such an incredible place to help me with my healing process, with people like mauser, Drake, Josh, (lol drake & Josh) just seeing their stories progress, makes me realize mine is too. My next step is to rely on this site less and less for comfort, and more so rely on my intelligence to think over my feelings and become more of myself without her. I'll still be around making sure you guys are making progress too. But what I'm trying to say is, from day 20 to 30. It's a huge difference, I've even quit smoking completely. My journey has just begun, and I'm extremely excited to see my progression!

-Jared

 

[Wisconsin144]

Nice!

I'm a ways off from where you are but hope to catch up with you soon.

CJ.

Each day is a different battle. But I was still pretty low around the day mark you're at. The fact you made it as far as you have is something you should look at and appreciate. You're doing awesome, keep it up!