The *No Contact* Challenge! ( Read this if you just got dumped)

[mikey2012]

Initiating NC . Day 0...

Well.. Lost the girl of my dreams 2 weeks ago. I'm 32.
I was actually going to propose in 2 months (after 3 years). I tought everything was all right. Turns out things were not allright at all. Got dumped, biggest surprise of my f*** life. She told me that things began to fall apart a year ago and that she tried to tell me but I would not listen. In retrospect, I was a terrible boyfriend and I actually knew it. I just tought that she loved me so much that I could get away with being a jerk. I learned a lot on myself.. Won't act like that with the next girl.
But god dam***, it hurts like s***, she was awesome and I blew it.

Funniest thing, I can't even go full NC mode because she still has some big furnitures to take out.

PS: Sorry for my english, not my mother tongue.

unless you spat on her and beat the crap or called her a cvnt....what couldn't be worked out. don't blame yourself. she's just making excuses. she found some one else. if she can leave you once she can leave you again. there was interesting chronology written by a woman I read somewhere, where she leaves one guy thinking the other is better and then finds out he isn't then dates another guy and then realizes he isn't and then another, then realizes the first guy wasn't that bad....thing is even if you got married, there is no guarantee she will be with you until the end....the passage of time is just too long...

 

[Noinfoprovided]

deleted

 

[soulforge]

Been thinking long and hard about my break up... i admit there was things she did wrong and there was some things i did wrong..


We both handled the situation quite badly.. we was both responsible for the argument that led to our break up..

In the end it was me who ended it with her... i tried to communicate with her, and try to resolve our fallout.. but she was bieng very in responsive and would not talk..


In the end i decide to finish it.. i kinda feel we could had sorted things out, maybe i should have been more patient, gave her some time!!

Anynhow 2 weeks after the breakup, she is now back on Plenty of fish dating site?


Should i reach out to her and see if she is willing to talk??

Remember it was me who officially ended it...

 

[ZTIME]

Been thinking long and hard about my break up... i admit there was things she did wrong and there was some things i did wrong..


We both handled the situation quite badly.. we was both responsible for the argument that led to our break up..

In the end it was me who ended it with her... i tried to communicate with her, and try to resolve our fallout.. but she was bieng very in responsive and would not talk..


In the end i decide to finish it.. i kinda feel we could had sorted things out, maybe i should have been more patient, gave her some time!!

Anynhow 2 weeks after the breakup, she is now back on Plenty of fish dating site?


Should i reach out to her and see if she is willing to talk??

Remember it was me who officially ended it...

Thought you ended it because of the way she treated you?? Why would you consider going back to that and being treated the same way??

Never consider them one in a million, Consider them 1 of a million. That mindset will work better for you.

 

[soulforge]

Thought you ended it because of the way she treated you?? Why would you consider going back to that and being treated the same way??

Never consider them one in a million, Consider them 1 of a million. That mindset will work better for you.

Yes you are right man... i will stick to this mindset from here on!!!

 

[dboy]

Help - I don't know what to do

Hey guys and girls, new to the forum. I don't usually post to forums, I just read/creep them. Anyhow, I am lost and need help. lol

Long story short, my ex-girlfriend and I broke up a little over a year ago (we were together for about a year). Fell in love, all that good ****. Fought, broke up. Have been apart for over a year since. She is with some next dude now, whom she "has strong feelings for/strong bond/loves him differently than she did with me" and she doesn't want to break/lose that. I don't know wtf that means.

We recently reconnected, started talking again, (she's going through depression, which I went through too, but hers is more severe, she even has suicidal thoughts and ****, I don't know what to do) she came over we had sex which was mindblowing like usual. So she cheated on her new boyfriend with me, which she feels super guilty about. I don't care, I don't mind being the side dude lol but she's like "I got it out of my system" so basically cut me off, as we had sex again the next day but she cut me off midway and left my place, leaving me with blueballs. I told her I will be there and help her get better, then I will have disappear, our transaction is over, I cannot be her "friend" and not be able to love her, **** her, hug her, touch her, etc. Conflict of interest. I will not be that dude.

I don't know if I'm in love with her or lust. I don't know what is what anymore. I've been with other girls since, but nothing serious, my heart is stuck on her, it's pretty sad. They just don't compare.

I want her back, in whatever way I can have her (except friendzone). Today she was happier and feeling normal. I just blocked her on Facebook, I gave her an ultimatum, basically "when you figure out what you want, give me a call". I'm going to ignore her calls/texts and if she shows up at my house, which knowing her, she probably will, I will tell her to "figure out what she wants" and slam the door on her. Our relationship was crazy, up and down roller-coaster, but apparently I love the drama. I digress.

I don't know what I'm doing. I'm not sure if I should stay there and support her because she will probably use the the "I'm suicidal card" (she only opens up to me about this which is pretty serious stuff), or just tell her to **** off. It's such a conflict of interest for me, I don't know how to play this. What the hell do I do.


Thanks in advance!

 

[soulforge]

Hey guys and girls, new to the forum. I don't usually post to forums, I just read/creep them. Anyhow, I am lost and need help. lol

Long story short, my ex-girlfriend and I broke up a little over a year ago (we were together for about a year). Fell in love, all that good ****. Fought, broke up. Have been apart for over a year since. She is with some next dude now, whom she "has strong feelings for/strong bond/loves him differently than she did with me" and she doesn't want to break/lose that. I don't know wtf that means.

We recently reconnected, started talking again, (she's going through depression, which I went through too, but hers is more severe, she even has suicidal thoughts and ****, I don't know what to do) she came over we had sex which was mindblowing like usual. So she cheated on her new boyfriend with me, which she feels super guilty about. I don't care, I don't mind being the side dude lol but she's like "I got it out of my system" so basically cut me off, as we had sex again the next day but she cut me off midway and left my place, leaving me with blueballs. I told her I will be there and help her get better, then I will have disappear, our transaction is over, I cannot be her "friend" and not be able to love her, **** her, hug her, touch her, etc. Conflict of interest. I will not be that dude.

I don't know if I'm in love with her or lust. I don't know what is what anymore. I've been with other girls since, but nothing serious, my heart is stuck on her, it's pretty sad. They just don't compare.

I want her back, in whatever way I can have her (except friendzone). Today she was happier and feeling normal. I just blocked her on Facebook, I gave her an ultimatum, basically "when you figure out what you want, give me a call". I'm going to ignore her calls/texts and if she shows up at my house, which knowing her, she probably will, I will tell her to "figure out what she wants" and slam the door on her. Our relationship was crazy, up and down roller-coaster, but apparently I love the drama. I digress.

I don't know what I'm doing. I'm not sure if I should stay there and support her because she will probably use the the "I'm suicidal card" (she only opens up to me about this which is pretty serious stuff), or just tell her to **** off. It's such a conflict of interest for me, I don't know how to play this. What the hell do I do.


Thanks in advance!

I think you should let her go man... she is with another dude.. also she cheated on him and fuked you..

Why would u wana be with a chick who is capable of doing that... let it go

 

[dboy]

I think you should let her go man... she is with another dude.. also she cheated on him and fuked you..

Why would u wana be with a chick who is capable of doing that... let it go

because she's sexy as **** but crazy
our sex is amazing, MINDBLOWING
I don't get satisfied by any other chick and I've been with a lot
I also feel like I ****ed her up and made her depressed, but she was already crazy to begin with.

my head is a mess, she drives me nuts.

and I love her. I genuinely care for her, but I am also very selfish.

 

[soulforge]

because she's sexy as **** but crazy
our sex is amazing, MINDBLOWING
I don't get satisfied by any other chick and I've been with a lot
I also feel like I ****ed her up and made her depressed, but she was already crazy to begin with.

my head is a mess, she drives me nuts.

and I love her. I genuinely care for her, but I am also very selfish.

Your thinking with your dik.. and not with your head... thats whats going to land you in some trouble..

I was exactly like this with an ex nearly 2 years ago... almost an addict.. trust me break your addiction for her..

Took me just ovet a year to get over mine.. was a mind fuk

 

[soulforge]

Well its been 3 weeks since i last saw her..

Banged a few chicks in between so that has helped a little, starting to feel a little better about things..

can't believe i ignored quite a few major red flags with this chick, guess i was so into her, that i did not want anything getting in the way.

Still I feel bad, that we broke up over such a petty thing that could have been resolved if she had made some effort..

Its crazy how quickly chicks get back online, soon after a break up..and don't bother trying!

Pof truley is bottom of the barrel girls.. will never be getting involved with a pof girl again..

 

[Lozboss]

Dboy- you need to snap out of it buddy. You need to go No Contact and get YOUR head straight. You need to emotionally detach so you can make a sound decision based on logic. As soul said- you're thinking with your ****/heart, not your head.

Soul- True, I've never had a great experience with Pof apart with the hotter women on there apart from a few bangs.
The Hot women on there are on there for a reason- you might find one whose sound but most are there because no other men will put up with their sh*t

Remember folks- NC is your life raft- hold on and it will carry you through.

 

[soulforge]

Day 8..
Very difficult. Deleted her from facebook, deleted her phone number. She still has lot of stuff at my place and we have things in common, so she will have to contact me at some point. I'm pretty sure she is already f*** someone else.

On my side, I've been seeing one of my exes lately (we were together 10 years ago and I left her because I was young and stupid) and we are pretty close. We even kissed last week and she said that she is still attracted to me but that the "guy of her dreams", some dude living in France, is coming living with her here in Canada in 1 or 2 months. So she asked me not to push too far because she doesn't think she can stop me. She actually transfered all responsibility on me ! Women are killing me right now.

Woman are killing you right now... i feel you bro.. feel the same way.. take a break from these hoes

 

[Lozboss]

Day 8..
Very difficult. Deleted her from facebook, deleted her phone number. She still has lot of stuff at my place and we have things in common, so she will have to contact me at some point. I'm pretty sure she is already f*** someone else.

On my side, I've been seeing one of my exes lately (we were together 10 years ago and I left her because I was young and stupid) and we are pretty close. We even kissed last week and she said that she is still attracted to me but that the "guy of her dreams", some dude living in France, is coming living with her here in Canada in 1 or 2 months. So she asked me not to push too far because she doesn't think she can stop me. She actually transfered all responsibility on me ! Women are killing me right now.

Sorry to be harsh here:

Why are you hooking up with Exes? It's always dangerous. Don't do it if you're in a fragile situation.

At the moment you need to focus on NEW single women that you haven't dated before. And most importantly you need to focus on YOURSELF.

 

[Between_The_Lines]

Sorry to be harsh here:

Why are you hooking up with Exes? It's always dangerous. Don't do it if you're in a fragile situation.

At the moment you need to focus on NEW single women that you haven't dated before. And most importantly you need to focus on YOURSELF.

Yep.

Allin, "out with old, in with another old"??? Nah dude. Tabula rasa. You're a new man now. Don't seek familiar comfort zones to mask the pain. Either fully alone or a brand new chick(s). Girls shouldn't ever be "killing" you. Let this be one of the greater lessons to take away from this experience, that if they are, they're helping expose emotional weakness. A huge part of increasing your sense of attractiveness to new prospects is becoming more emotional resilient ("inner game").

Your ex banging someone new? That was bound to happen eventually, just as you will be banging someone new (eventually).

And screw that stupid love triangle your other ex is pulling you into at the moment. That's not going to help you recover one bit. Has more potential to set you back, actually.

 

[soulforge]

Well its coming upto 4 weeks now since i pulled the plug on her, and i officially ended it..

Starting to see that the relationship was never going to work, this girl was causing problems and drama from day one.. i ignored some major red flags.. i should have dropped her 2 months in, after the first major incident with her..

But kept seeing her, because the SEX was just crazy!!!

seriously will be avoiding getting emotionally involved with any chick from POF ever again.

 

[Lozboss]

Well its coming upto 4 weeks now since i pulled the plug on her, and i officially ended it..

Starting to see that the relationship was never going to work, this girl was causing problems and drama from day one.. i ignored some major red flags.. i should have dropped her 2 months in, after the first major incident with her..

But kept seeing her, because the SEX was just crazy!!!

seriously will be avoiding getting emotionally involved with any chick from POF ever again.

How many days NC? That's the key mate.

 

[soulforge]

How many days NC? That's the key mate.

Its been around 3 weeks no contact mate.. i thought it would be easier with me officially ending it.. but damn its quite hard.. you go through that second guessing your decision phase!! Its tough

Just didn't see the point in bieng with a chick who is ready to walk out over the slightest thing.. and she can't be bothered talking and sorting problems out..

Better out now, than a year or two down the line..


Any of you guys dumped a chick, who later came back?? Maybe as a fuk buddy?


I,m going to focus on getting over her.. strict no contact.. get back in the dating game, and just have some fun..

Need some regular plates on board..

 

[Lozboss]

Its been around 3 weeks no contact mate.. i thought it would be easier with me officially ending it.. but damn its quite hard.. you go through that second guessing your decision phase!! Its tough

Just didn't see the point in bieng with a chick who is ready to walk out over the slightest thing.. and she can't be bothered talking and sorting problems out..

Better out now, than a year or two down the line..


Any of you guys dumped a chick, who later came back?? Maybe as a fuk buddy?


I,m going to focus on getting over her.. strict no contact.. get back in the dating game, and just have some fun..

Need some regular plates on board..

Dumping them and them coming back does happen- just much harder than the other way around.

I want you to avoid posting about your Ex now for AT LEAST a week. Only if it's for help and you think you're gonna break NC do you post.

You need to get her out your head- online as well.

Good luck.

 

[Dgwizdal]

I want her back, in whatever way I can have her (except friendzone). Today she was happier and feeling normal. I just blocked her on Facebook, I gave her an ultimatum, basically "when you figure out what you want, give me a call". I'm going to ignore her calls/texts and if she shows up at my house, which knowing her, she probably will, I will tell her to "figure out what she wants" and slam the door on her. Our relationship was crazy, up and down roller-coaster, but apparently I love the drama. I digress.

Thanks in advance!

NO YOU DONT.

Here is your problem - you have essentially given her all the power by stating the above allowing her to walk in and out of her life as she pleases. Smack yourself upside the head right now for me - do you think that your behavior as of right now is representative of a high value man who respects himself? Do you think that it is attractive to her that you are throwing crybaby sh!t fits? Tough love but if you make the decision at this very moment to cut this toxic b!tch out of your life, you will look back upon this very day in 2 years and be damn proud knowing that you stuck to your guns and gave this cheating slvt the boot. By what you have described her as, she is a fvckin BPD nutjob. You need to get your head right man. All you are doing is prolonging your pain and humility.

If the above isn't enough to convince you to move on here's something that will: she does NOT value you. She does not respect you. And as long as you let her string you along, she will continue to cause you misery by the bread crumbs she feeds you to keep you around like a little b!tch. She is an attention *****. You need to grab yourself by the nuts and move the fvck on. There is a gold mine of information here that will change your life assuring you never make the same mistakes with a hotter, better woman..

Trust me when I say that we have all been where you are at @ one point in time and that was the defining moment for us to make a change for good. I wish i had someone like me telling the former me this type of sh!t during the months and months of bvll**** chasing my ex oneitis. IT HAS BEEN A YEAR ALREADY AND YOU ARE STILL CAUGHT UP IN IT. Make the right decision right here, right fvckin now, and in 2-3 years she'll be blowing your phone up to get a piece of what you have become and you will care less. TRUST ME.

 

[Lozboss]

So I went out shopping with a female friend yesterday. As we were entering a woman clothing shop, I saw a cute assistant. I let my friend shop alone and meanwhile went talking to her. I don't exactly recall what we spoke about, but
at some point she gave me her number to talk about business and **** like that cause I'm more experienced than her and blabla.
The thing is, for 3 years that I have been in a relationship with my ex HB8, all I wanted was to bang other chicks on the side (high testosterone here). But now I keep comparing every f**** girls to her and they are all turning me off completely, because they are not girlfriend material.

My brain is f** up! It's not even funny. Now I have the number of a (way too young for me) HB7.5 and I'm not even considering calling her.

That's natural. I was the same. People want what they don't have. It's a simple as that.

Realize that you formed a deeper bond with your ex that won't be there with people you just meet.

You have to give them a chance. Call her and set a date- look at these new women like 'they could be the next big thing and I want to get to know more about them'

That will put you in the right mindset and you'll also approach the date well as an active listener.