The *No Contact* Challenge! ( Read this if you just got dumped)

[drake33]

So...our daughter has been sick for two days...I've been strong nc and feeling damn good. But...I feel like she should communicate to me that our daughter is sick, I'm finding out from the babysitter..wtf? How do I approach this? Is she just looking for a reaction?

 

[SayWhat]

It has been a month and a half of NC. Last weeks we didn't even said hi or bye anymore.

I tried a test this week and told my boss I had a new girlfriend. Stupid as this is not true and now I have to face the consequences of why no one will ever see her, but yeah... Today I came into work, one of the first things she asks 'you got a new girlfriend', I said yes and she said 'that's good'.

What does this mean?

And yes pathetic, I'm 27 and still play child games...

 

[drake33]

So...our daughter has been sick for two days...I've been strong nc and feeling damn good. But...I feel like she should communicate to me that our daughter is sick, I'm finding out from the babysitter..wtf? How do I approach this? Is she just looking for a reaction?

Anybody?

 

[bebold]

So...our daughter has been sick for two days...I've been strong nc and feeling damn good. But...I feel like she should communicate to me that our daughter is sick, I'm finding out from the babysitter..wtf? How do I approach this? Is she just looking for a reaction?

I would be a man and go straight to her and say "why aren't you telling me our daughter is sick?" You are being too hung up on "no contact" there are things that are more important than no contact, and your daughter and her health are one of them. Don't treat no contact like a religion, it is just a tool.

 

[bebold]

It has been a month and a half of NC. Last weeks we didn't even said hi or bye anymore.

I tried a test this week and told my boss I had a new girlfriend. Stupid as this is not true and now I have to face the consequences of why no one will ever see her, but yeah... Today I came into work, one of the first things she asks 'you got a new girlfriend', I said yes and she said 'that's good'.

What does this mean?

And yes pathetic, I'm 27 and still play child games...

Well it happens to the best of us, but yes pathetic. Even if she doesn't want you back she is going to be curious about the new girlfriend. Your test wasn't a test because it isn't going to tell you anything useful.

When you work with someone it is really tough. Been there before. I think you just have to fake not caring until you actually don't care. Always polite but indifferent.

 

[ryan28]

No Contact Started.

I have had this long distance relationship with this girl online for about year and we talk everyday and have a met a few times too. We both have busy careers and not able to take time off to meet very often. She has children too.
She gave me the silent treatment about 3 months ago when my sister visited me and I didn’t text her for a couple of days. But she didn’t text me either. She didn’t respond to me for 5 days after that and only when I apologized to her several times.
Now about 2 weeks ago, we had a very trivial argument and she has started the silent treatment again. She won’t respond to any of my texts. I have apologized hundreds of times and even begged her to talk to me but no response. I still miss her and have strong feelings.
Doing NC to get rid of her, don't want her back.
Started NC yesterday. Day 2 today.

 

[soulforge]

I have had this long distance relationship with this girl online for about year and we talk everyday and have a met a few times too. We both have busy careers and not able to take time off to meet very often. She has children too.
She gave me the silent treatment about 3 months ago when my sister visited me and I didn’t text her for a couple of days. But she didn’t text me either. She didn’t respond to me for 5 days after that and only when I apologized to her several times.
Now about 2 weeks ago, we had a very trivial argument and she has started the silent treatment again. She won’t respond to any of my texts. I have apologized hundreds of times and even begged her to talk to me but no response. I still miss her and have strong feelings.
Doing NC to get rid of her, don't want her back.
Started NC yesterday. Day 2 today.

Dude do not beg or chase... take a step back and disapear into the night

 

[drake33]

I text her and asked her "Is there a reason you're not communicating with me about our daughters health?" Probably will get no response. This is starting to piss me off...it's like she's trying to NC me but I always commuicate about our daughter. For someone who is "happy" with yhis other guy she sure is acting kind of *****y...people who are happy don't act rude or ignore others right?

 

[ZTIME]

I text her and asked her "Is there a reason you're not communicating with me about our daughters health?" Probably will get no response. This is starting to piss me off...it's like she's trying to NC me but I always commuicate about our daughter. For someone who is "happy" with yhis other guy she sure is acting kind of *****y...people who are happy don't act rude or ignore others right?

As it pertains to you, of course she will keep treating you sh*tty, as long as you keep showing that it annoys you. You see, anytime you show any type of emotional reaction to what she does, (happy or mad) she's always going to know that she still has the upper hand. This is why NC is so important. It really helps you to not have to react to her childish crap. Now that you let her know that not communicating with you about your daughter bothers you...guess what's going to continue to happen. Walk away from this for a little while, Your daughter is always going to be your daughter and nothing can change that.

And by the way....Who cares if your ex is happy??!! I don't! Neither should you!

 

[ryan28]

No Contact

Day 2 of no contact. having a hard time. missing her.

 

[drake33]

As it pertains to you, of course she will keep treating you sh*tty, as long as you keep showing that it annoys you. You see, anytime you show any type of emotional reaction to what she does, (happy or mad) she's always going to know that she still has the upper hand. This is why NC is so important. It really helps you to not have to react to her childish crap. Now that you let her know that not communicating with you about your daughter bothers you...guess what's going to continue to happen. Walk away from this for a little while, Your daughter is always going to be your daughter and nothing can change that.

And by the way....Who cares if your ex is happy??!! I don't! Neither should you!

I just think it's common courtesy to let the other parent that our child is sick and isn't going to daycare? She text back and said she didn't think it was a big deal! It's just a cold, but in the future she would let me know. She asked to yalk at drop off about summer school but I got it worked out through text. I've been two months no contact, or so, idk, I quit counting. I don't give three ****s about her happiness, I only care about the well being of my daughter

 

[ZTIME]

I just think it's common courtesy to let the other parent that our child is sick and isn't going to daycare? She text back and said she didn't think it was a big deal! It's just a cold, but in the future she would let me know. She asked to yalk at drop off about summer school but I got it worked out through text. I've been two months no contact, or so, idk, I quit counting. I don't give three ****s about her happiness, I only care about the well being of my daughter

You are correct! It would be common courtesy, however, when you show her that it bothers you, she'll use it against you. Down the road in a bit you'll see that all that really matters is that daughter of yours. Keep working on you and stay NC as much as possible.

 

[joshs1974@live.com]

Day 12 (again)

Dear God in heaven, I am a fvcking idiot. This is the third time I've attempted no contact. I've let that stupid b***h reel me back in twice, and I'm here to tell you: One and DONE. Don't let them do it to you again and again. Don't do what I did and sacrifice your self respect. NO WOMAN IS WORTH IT! Watch what they do and not what they say. She's seeing someone else now, and dropped me just like that. What's worse is that this fvck is the biggest loser I've ever seen. I could break his ass in half. Fortunately for him, I'm smart enough to know that it won't accomplish anything, so I've decided to be the bigger man and just let him have her. I have NO IDEA what she sees in him, and you know what? I have to say that it says more about her than it does me.

Why it took me this long to see her for what she is I'll never know, but for all of you guys with your love blinders on, FOR GOD'S SAKE, TAKE THEM OFF! Actions really do speak louder than words.

I have spent the last few days reading the first 100 pages of this thread and I'm still going. I have to give a few of you guys a shout. I don't know if you guys still post to this thread, but Mauser96 and Purefilth, you guys are AWESOME, and you've helped keep me strong this time and see things for what they are. There are many more of you who go above and beyond in this forum, and my thanks to each and every one of you!

 

[ryan28]

No Contact Day 3

Things are much better now than day 2, still think a lot about her but don't feel the urge to contact her. After the 2 silent treatment the b**** gave me.
Not going back again.

 

[soulforge]

Day 12 (again)

Dear God in heaven, I am a fvcking idiot. This is the third time I've attempted no contact. I've let that stupid b***h reel me back in twice, and I'm here to tell you: One and DONE. Don't let them do it to you again and again. Don't do what I did and sacrifice your self respect. NO WOMAN IS WORTH IT! Watch what they do and not what they say. She's seeing someone else now, and dropped me just like that. What's worse is that this fvck is the biggest loser I've ever seen. I could break his ass in half. Fortunately for him, I'm smart enough to know that it won't accomplish anything, so I've decided to be the bigger man and just let him have her. I have NO IDEA what she sees in him, and you know what? I have to say that it says more about her than it does me.

Why it took me this long to see her for what she is I'll never know, but for all of you guys with your love blinders on, FOR GOD'S SAKE, TAKE THEM OFF! Actions really do speak louder than words.

I have spent the last few days reading the first 100 pages of this thread and I'm still going. I have to give a few of you guys a shout. I don't know if you guys still post to this thread, but Mauser96 and Purefilth, you guys are AWESOME, and you've helped keep me strong this time and see things for what they are. There are many more of you who go above and beyond in this forum, and my thanks to each and every one of you!

This is true man... watch what they do... and not what they say!!

You need to stay 100% no contact my friend... just wipe her out of your life.. i know its not easy, but you will come out of the other end.. imagine you are withdrawing off a drug

 

[soulforge]

Well its coming upto 4 weeks, since i dropped her... she is on POF looking for a replacement..

It really bothered me at first, to the point where i was almost ready to reach out and try and get her back.. luckily i kept a cool head and did not make such a stupid mistake!

It does not bother me as much now, because i realise she was a bad apple, and the way she was behaving, a relationship would never have worked out!

i think i needed this bad experience to make me realise a few things...

01.. never ever get emotionally involved with a girl from POF.. these girls are mostly sluts and they will not make any effort to make a relationship work, as its easier just to get back online, and find some other dude instead

02.. do not get emotionally involved with a chick, unless she goes out of her way and proves herslf to you first.. she has to prove she is relationship worthy, before i ever give her girlfriend status

 

[Wisconsin144]

Day 10 of NC

My story: Basically I never really fell for anyone, hell, I even thought I was kind of a douche because I would flirt but I never really would fall as hard for girls as they would for me. But then she came a long, average looking, nothing really special at first glance, but as we spoke for a few months, I became very attached and almost obsessive with her.
On March 31st I slept at her house watching movies with her friend and her friends boyfriend. Long story short, we kissed, I left the next day, and she never showed me love again. Until April 25th where we were just hanging out, and I kissed her, I ended up going to her house and sleeping over, asking her out at like 5AM. She seemed so excited, so in love. We spent the next few days together, then we had a few dag break (she had plans). She started hanging out with my ex and she came over that Sunday (May 3rd). She had been acting very different recently, and I was sincerely worried. I asked her if everything was okay and she wanted to keep dating, she said yes. A few hours later, she randomly wants to break up. I hit a wall and shattered a few bones in my hand.

Part 2: here's where it gets really ****ed up. I gave it a few days, we argued a lot, and I eventually asked her if she wanted to try again. She said she felt it was a bad idea. The day before my surgery on my hand, I found a post she made, the day after we broke up, about how she was so in love with her ex. I blew up at her and she never replied, I never made an attempt to contact her since.

So here I am, Day 10 of no contact. I feel better, but it's not a drastic change yet. I look forward to the journey, and hope to meet some solid people on here.

 

[drake33]

You are correct! It would be common courtesy, however, when you show her that it bothers you, she'll use it against you. Down the road in a bit you'll see that all that really matters is that daughter of yours. Keep working on you and stay NC as much as possible.

You're right. I just need to stay NC completely, however, its such a fine line of whats NC when it comes to our daughter. Thats really my only concern. If she is withholding information that pertains to our daughters health to get some kind of rise out of me, thats her own problem. Thats just sick, tbh. It's not that serious...its not like Im asking her out on a date or something.

 

[Between_The_Lines]

She had been acting very different recently, and I was sincerely worried. I asked her if everything was okay and she wanted to keep dating, she said yes. A few hours later, she randomly wants to break up. I hit a wall and shattered a few bones in my hand.

Way weigh whey too emotionally invested in this woman (probably women in general too), and you two weren't even married. You weren't dating this chick a full year either! I'd urge you to tattoo "nevr" on one set of knuckles, "agan" on the other set, but not only would it be entirely unaesthetic and unpleasing to the eye (in my view at least), it'd be belaboring a point I'm confident you'll understand with time well-spent browsing this forum here extensively (beginning with this very thread, I'd suggest).

Women cannot get under your skin the way that this one did - ever. Self-injury on account of a woman's fickle nature??? What's next? You punch the girl? Destroy public property? Get behind the wheel after chugging a twelve pack? You're emotionally out of shape. That can be fixed, and it will, provided you will yourself toward emotional fitness. I wouldn't go looking for another girl (just yet) if I were you. Take a break from women for a bit (they aren't going anywhere) and put things into perspective. Are you as determined about seeing your goals in life come to fruition as you were about making things "work" with this girl? Why was it so important to make it work with her to begin with? What made this one so special?

Like I wrote above: comb through this thread for more perspectives from different posters, more wisdom, more inspiration, the feeling of solidarity, DO NOT contact this girl under any circumstances (consider her dead from this point onward), and read this carefully here to begin reprogramming yourself -

https://bookofpook.neocities.org/

 

[joshs1974@live.com]

Day 13

This isn't getting any easier. I won't contact her, as she is with someone else, but I just wish the pain would stop. I'm spending the day with family today, but it's not helping. I can't get her off of my mind. Shouldn't I be starting to feel at least a little bit better? Trying to man up, but damn, I've never felt so sick.