The *No Contact* Challenge! ( Read this if you just got dumped)
- Thread starter Daydream Engineer
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Been 3 months of solid no contact (this time around), avoiding contacting her on her birthday and I won't contact her over Xmas even if she contacts me. .I did want to ask advice though on here over something..
I've met some really hot woman from tinder. I mean super hot body etc. Seems like a nice person too. Problem is , she has 3 kids. I'm going to go on a date with her. We have been charting a lot on the phone. Thing is, I am not fussed about being her bf , I'm just looking for some companionship and to help me move on. Thing is , I feel a bit guilty about not wanting anything serious about being with her. Would you guys still go out a few times with her? I'm not sure what she wants me from me, hopefully she just wants the same , she seems really keen though. Any advice please?
I've met some really hot woman from tinder. I mean super hot body etc. Seems like a nice person too. Problem is , she has 3 kids. I'm going to go on a date with her. We have been charting a lot on the phone. Thing is, I am not fussed about being her bf , I'm just looking for some companionship and to help me move on. Thing is , I feel a bit guilty about not wanting anything serious about being with her. Would you guys still go out a few times with her? I'm not sure what she wants me from me, hopefully she just wants the same , she seems really keen though. Any advice please?
I would usually agree that **** her and use her to get over your breakup but logically think about it , 3 children she is already going through a lot right now.Darrenez said:
What I will personally do is take the honest road.
" I am not really rushing into anything right now , just focused in work and looking for a person I can relax with".
Remember even if she friend zones you its okay because you can still chill and stuff. Maybe she will even understand and appreciate your honesty , you guys hang out you meet her kids and take it slow you night even hit the ***** on the side.
Nothing wrong with building a legit friend ship with her while you talk to a single girl with no kids preferably.
Chances are she is looking for somebody to play daddy and marry again , you don't want to be that guy. Just hang around her at YOUR own time and help her at your own time.
If you managed to sleep with her kudos and if not just keep chatting and build your confidence up but please be straight forward with her when she brings advancement talks.
That's kind of what I want, a few dates someone new to hang out with. Hopefully she isn't after a father etc. We live about a minute away and same age , she knows I have 2 jobs. I'm happy to go out with her for a meal or 2. Hopefully she just wants the same thing.Yorkex said:
expos
Master Don Juan
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Listen to me man. I'm the same as you. I was totally crazy about my ex-wife who was completely awful and disrespectful to me in every single way. I went 113 days no contact until we had to meet up to sort out some financial crap. Admittedly, still loved and cared about her - because I'm good guy. She f*cking destroyed me when we finally met up again. I'll save you all the details, and if you want, PM and I'll talk you through things.spax said:Fuuuuucking hell boys. I hang my head in shame. I broke the NC rule after about 47 days.
Woke up today with the feels HARD and texted some soppy message like "Hey, I'm sure you're in town now. Hope you're having a relaxing and enjoyable time."
No response.
Kill me fuuuuucking now. I am beyond beta. Fuuuck!
Basically, she was the reason I came to this board. And this board WILL change your life if you listen to the guys here - WE KNOW what we are talking about!!!
You need to stay no contact. Everytime you visit her Facebook page, mention her name, think about texting her, etc, is wasted time on a lousy woman who doesn't even like you. You are letting her win. Her not texting back basically says she doesn't give a SH!T about you. Embrace that feeling, and use it as motivation to figure out how to be a better guy for yourself and not allow a woman to trample your very core anymore.
The way you win? You blow past this woman and not giving a flying f*ck what she is up to. I would have NEVER gotten over my ex-wife if I didn't ignore her, and I wouldn't have met the incredible, much hotter woman I am with now if I would have continued to think about my ex and what she is up to.
My story is filled with crazy amounts of karma, all because I stayed NC and worked on myself. It got better for me as soon as I cut her out of my life. Imagine the pain my ex-wife went through when she saw me holding hands in public with my new GF? Well, she deserved it.
My life wouldn't be as half as amazing as it is now if I would've made some serious moves. My salary is awesome, I moved to an amazing town, and made almost 100 new friends in the past year or two. I'm working on the last piece of myself and that is getting in some serious shape to complete the puzzle of my life. I am almost there!!!!! You can do it too.
Here's something about attraction. People want what they cannot have. If you would have just disappeared and never contacted her again, she probably would've chased you. The one who cares less will always have the most control in the outcome when it comes to relationships. You need to become elusive, mysterious, and GONE.
Do not contact this woman again. Throw away everything of hers and erase her from your life as easily as she erased you after seven f*cking years.
Learn about yourself and find out what you really want for a woman. Get out and enjoy life. See tomorrow as the day you have been reborn and destroy the old AFC version of yourself.
Good advice, I also got duped by my ex after 7 mainly happy years and to be fair , I was going to get engaged to her in the summer..broke no contact after about 4 months. Started it again in September, gave her the ring back and haven't contacted her again ,not even on her birthday and will do the same over Xmas.expos said:
OK so I'm going to see someone hot who has 3 kids but it will help me have a couple of dates and get over my ex..helps she's stupid hot. Not looking for anything serious tho!
Not even about an ex..
just a girl i passed one night with cuddle and kissed, taught she was a good girl, got crazy for her, told me she lost interest when she started feeling like a was not a challenge anymore, she just wanted sex without string.. it fuken made me rage, pissed me off, and fuk up my mind because i taught she was going to be my princess....
anyway, she now ignore me in real life and basically blow me off when i tried to see her again. i admit, after that i lost my control and through my anger she cleary felt i liked her A LOT. she just doesnt give a fuk anymore.
so don't know what i want, will do no contact anyway even if it fuking hurt me.
If i was to text her what i really wanted, i would ask her why the fuk we had such a good night and she kissed me and acted like my girlfriend and chit than asked how long since i had a relationship and told me i could get anygirl i want and stuff and cuddle for fuking hours then all of sudden no attraction, just because I started to like her a lil too much.
so yeah fuk all this chit, i dont care about "other aspect of life" they all suk and the girl meant a **** load to me im obsess, but i guess..
day 1..
just a girl i passed one night with cuddle and kissed, taught she was a good girl, got crazy for her, told me she lost interest when she started feeling like a was not a challenge anymore, she just wanted sex without string.. it fuken made me rage, pissed me off, and fuk up my mind because i taught she was going to be my princess....
anyway, she now ignore me in real life and basically blow me off when i tried to see her again. i admit, after that i lost my control and through my anger she cleary felt i liked her A LOT. she just doesnt give a fuk anymore.
so don't know what i want, will do no contact anyway even if it fuking hurt me.
If i was to text her what i really wanted, i would ask her why the fuk we had such a good night and she kissed me and acted like my girlfriend and chit than asked how long since i had a relationship and told me i could get anygirl i want and stuff and cuddle for fuking hours then all of sudden no attraction, just because I started to like her a lil too much.
so yeah fuk all this chit, i dont care about "other aspect of life" they all suk and the girl meant a **** load to me im obsess, but i guess..
day 1..
Workout, Read books and gain more knowledge (self help to start with), Meet new people, Follow your passion/hobby, Do well in your current job/Find a well earning job, go out with your friends, travel new places.spax said:
There is so much to do but all you do is whine about that B!tch. I've been there and these people out here helped me. So when they say something there's a reason behind it. Good Luck!
To be fair, I haven't even been on a date with her that's tonight. Just using it as a way to more on even more. Since me and my ex finished earlier this year, a lot of oosistive things have changed in my life.:
My alopecia has finished gone. I had it on my face so I lost all of my facial hair
I moved out of home and got my own place
Been going to the gym for over a year but since we finished I have taken it a lot more seriously.
Big changes hey!
My alopecia has finished gone. I had it on my face so I lost all of my facial hair
I moved out of home and got my own place
Been going to the gym for over a year but since we finished I have taken it a lot more seriously.
Big changes hey!
Went out on my first date with a girl other than my ex of 7 years who dumped me 6 weeks ago.
Went to dinner, then drinks, then more drinks at another bar, then made out in a park, then drove her to her house. Made out on the couch, I was looking to fuuuuck but she kept resisting and made hints like "she had to be treated like a lady" and "earned" and kept pulling her dress down as she was straddling me on the couch.
Nice girl overall though, will probably see again. Possible girlfriend material. Smoking hot though. Got 2 compliments from other men while I was walking out in public with my arm around her like "You've done well, buddy ;-)" and "Good job son!" This never happened with my ex. lol
She seemed pretty keen and suggested doing something again soon.
Went to dinner, then drinks, then more drinks at another bar, then made out in a park, then drove her to her house. Made out on the couch, I was looking to fuuuuck but she kept resisting and made hints like "she had to be treated like a lady" and "earned" and kept pulling her dress down as she was straddling me on the couch.
Nice girl overall though, will probably see again. Possible girlfriend material. Smoking hot though. Got 2 compliments from other men while I was walking out in public with my arm around her like "You've done well, buddy ;-)" and "Good job son!" This never happened with my ex. lol
She seemed pretty keen and suggested doing something again soon.
Spax, gj mate. Glad to hear you're feeling better.
Keep doing things for YOU, keep living the way YOU want to live, work your hardest, and you'll see improvements in every area of your life. Meeting new women will seem to be the smallest of your successes
Keep doing things for YOU, keep living the way YOU want to live, work your hardest, and you'll see improvements in every area of your life. Meeting new women will seem to be the smallest of your successes
when your in the wrong
It's all well and doing now contact when you've been dumped. When you've done wrong by your ex and its your fault that they finished with you its very hard. I've eem doing no contact properly for 3 months, thing is although I was nearly a perfect boyfirned I let her down once. It was a big mistake and regret of mine, something I'll live with for the rest of my life. So yes doing no contact will help me, it is difficult to hewal and move on when in retrospective its my fault and I deserved to be dumped and now being down about the whole thing.
It's all well and doing now contact when you've been dumped. When you've done wrong by your ex and its your fault that they finished with you its very hard. I've eem doing no contact properly for 3 months, thing is although I was nearly a perfect boyfirned I let her down once. It was a big mistake and regret of mine, something I'll live with for the rest of my life. So yes doing no contact will help me, it is difficult to hewal and move on when in retrospective its my fault and I deserved to be dumped and now being down about the whole thing.
LiveYourDream
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Spax time to upgrade
Edit--PM'ed thoughts instead, out of respect.
Edit--PM'ed thoughts instead, out of respect.
Last edited:
christoff522
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I'm gonna just give a bit of wisdom. One day, you will not care about the girl you're sopping over right now. I myself went through one hell of bad period this year, 2014 has been awful (at least in this area). But I finally got out there, followed a bit of anti-dump, and I'm now no longer in pain over the girl I thought was "the one". She isn't the one. We're now talking every now and again, and the whole agony I felt seems like another life time.
Trust me, absence, time apart, really helps you get perspective. She has someone else, is (seemingly) happy, and I'm no longer pining over her. Of course I care about her, but she's not a princess on a pedestal or a source of anguish for me anymore.
You cannot control other people, only how you react to them. Find the real you, the one hidden inside the cage of loneliness and anxiety, and you'll find yourself becoming a DJ. Life is not about what you cannot have but about realising that you don't even need it! The problem we have sometimes is feeling that we need someone/something when we already have everything we need, we just need to utilize it.
Trust me, absence, time apart, really helps you get perspective. She has someone else, is (seemingly) happy, and I'm no longer pining over her. Of course I care about her, but she's not a princess on a pedestal or a source of anguish for me anymore.
You cannot control other people, only how you react to them. Find the real you, the one hidden inside the cage of loneliness and anxiety, and you'll find yourself becoming a DJ. Life is not about what you cannot have but about realising that you don't even need it! The problem we have sometimes is feeling that we need someone/something when we already have everything we need, we just need to utilize it.
narcissist
Master Don Juan
if you truly loved a girl. and i mean TRULY. you never get over them.
Im slowly realizing this
Im slowly realizing this
