The *No Contact* Challenge! ( Read this if you just got dumped)

[Darrenez]

Every minute after you send that text is going to feel like an hour until she responds, assuming she even responds. You definitely do not want to experience a no response from her. Bite the bullet, save yourself the agony, and carry on as if it were any other ordinary day.

I know you're right, its just me being silly and thinking of last year when it was her birthday and I took away for the weekend to London and she said it was her best birthday ever. It just makes me feel sad

However since we've been broken up after 7 years, I've taken my gym far more seriously and have now got my own apartment. We'd planned to get our own place together but obviously that didn't happen and I don't think she ever thought I'd move out and get my own place.

Probably going to be on here most of today reading messages to keep me going lol, I was dreading today to be honest:trouble:

 

[mikey2012]

Hi guys and gals,


It's my Ex girlfriend birthday tomorrow. We split up in April, after 7 years. I last spoke to her on September 6th. Do I message a happy birthday message or not?

Obviously I remember its her birthday and personally would like to wish her a happy birthday. However is it worth it? What would she think if I didnt..not that she'd care.

Thoughts guys please.

No way. Forget the *****. Done and dusted . Bullet dodged . You are Brad Pitt. Forget Paltrow. Look what happened to her . Divorced now. You will have Jolie sucking your dikk

 

[Darrenez]

Half way through the day, doing well so far!:cheer:

Just got to forget about the past and carry on moving forward.

 

[christoff522]

This is my first day of actual no contact ever. A kind person on another forum pointed out that I had in fact been doing Limited Contact - not NO CONTACT.

After a rather depressing realization yesterday, I decided to thoroughly cut off contact with this person, a painful, yet freeing experience. I'm never going to be a DJ with her in my life. I need to get over the fear of her 'abandoning' me. If she doesnt contact that is actually HELPING!!

I ended it about 8pm last night, its now 4pm, so its about 20 hours NC. I don't need to list the reasons why, because they're the same reasons as everyone elses.

Thanks Sosuave, by your honestly and wisdom you give me strength!!

 

[Darrenez]

So I managed to get through the day without messaging her yesterday as it was her birthday...I'm glad I didn't message her as silence speaks volumes and I will do the same at Christmas too..not that she'll be bothered.

 

[TheMonkeyKing]

This is the perfect time of year to revaluate one's situation.

I was being a right sore loser this time last year; sending essay emails to the ex, sending flowers to the flat, monitoring social networking, blablabla.

Then I started reading a lot of empowering material that we are all familiar with and told myself that from Christmas (last), I would go full NC for the 60 days in the New Year, but it actually didn't end up happening until well in to February.

It was more that my state of mind changed at Christmas.... I knew that I could no contact as and when I pleased. The release from the psychological restraints was what did it.

We have to do it over and over and over again. It is all very well guys like me sitting here and preaching about going out and meeting new women. But all those new women will p!ss us off too in some way shape or form, and we have to go through this processing and rationalisation time and time again until it becomes easier. It will likely never go away completely, but it becomes much easier to deal with.

One of the biggest mistakes I see guys making here is thinking that getting over one girl makes them a Don. That is simply not the case. I still find myself backsliding, to this very day, on things that happened with exes of 10 years ago.

The refractory becomes easier, don't get me wrong. Nowadays a situation with a chick will wind me up for may be an hour or two, but then I just get on with my own life and forget about them.

And that is the greatest lesson I have learned in the last twelve months. Get on with life, create an existence of your own and one that does not revolve solely around another person.

 

[Between_The_Lines]

One of the biggest mistakes I see guys making here is thinking that getting over one girl makes them a Don. That is simply not the case. I still find myself backsliding, to this very day, on things that happened with exes of 10 years ago.

This is what boggles me the most about my most recent break up. I got my first serious emotional beat down around 19-20, went through the whole bitter "this will NEVER happen to me again" phase for a little over 10 years, and slid further back than ever with the same girl I once had eating out of my hands. A part of me thinks I'm (still) being dishonest with myself, because an entire decade without getting one's emotions trampled should only take place if you've been on the sidelines or passively playing the game.

Edit: ...or played your cards very well...or are a sociopath

 

[Suspens]

I started to play video games in order to speed up forgetting my EX, that, combined with the fact that I realized I can find much hotter and better ones, helped me to completely forget that she actually existed.

There are times that I ask myself " **** how could I even kiss that ugly duckula's nanny". She wasn't ugly at all though, nice green eyes and long hair.

The problem is, I'm addicted to a new RTS game and been playing it for nearly 1400 hours. Damn, looks like it's going to take a long time to fix my ****ed up lifestyle/ life.

 

[djthiago1]

broke my 1 month NC with my ex yesterday, memories and thoughts of coming back came on my mind and i messaged her, didn't go well or bad, but i shouldn't have done it.

Me: i went to the movies a week ago and remembered that funny thing that happened with us.

Her: hahaha

Me: I kinda miss the dumb stuff we used to do.

Her:

 

[djthiago1]

And so...begins Day 1, all over again.

True *sigh*
But i don't care much really, i'm hooking up with this new girl and it's going pretty fine.

 

[Cerwin Vega]

Friday night, out with my new girl
Got a text message from the ex, after >3 months of NC and 7 months since breakup:

I've cheated on you twice. I had to tell it to you to make it easier on my heart. Bye.

Everything started to collapse on me.

I didn't know what to do. I showed the message to my girlfriend, she held my hand tight and said "let me reply that b1tch" and I said "no, just delete the message and block her"

The whole evening it felt like she was comforting me. Right now I'm home and I still feel like crap. All those things and moments we shared are ABSOLUTE LIES. That fvcking lying piece of sh!t cheated on me. Now she wants to "clear her heart". FVCK THAT

I will let her hamster wheel spin itself into total destruction; becoming the most successful person I can be, let that fvcking piece of sh1t DROWN in her own sorrow and agony for losing THE BEST THING SHE HAS EVER HAD.

Man I feel like ****. Not to mention I and my new gf need to get tested now because I didn't use condoms with both of them (the pill).

 

[Suspens]

Chill, she is just mad that you ignored her for 3 months. Good job.

Why the fvck did you show it to your gf though, big mistake.

 

[way2smart]

I guess it's been 1 month since my NC.
Never contacted her once. Didn't even have the urge to contact.
The only thing I did was, I just looked at her posts on social media and all of them are kind of sad and seem to indicate that she is having hard time moving on.

So, that's that. But no way in the world am I ever going to contact her first, especially considering the fact that I was the one who broke up with her. (I did it because she started to get distant)

So after one month, I'm feeling pretty good. I don't even miss her anymore.

 

[Cerwin Vega]

Great!! That IS the goal after all.......not to "punish her" so much as to "help you" Sounds like you are doing allright


Cerwin Vega Fan,

you said "Friday night, out with my new girl
Got a text message from the ex, after >3 months of NC and 7 months since breakup:
Quote:
I've cheated on you twice. I had to tell it to you to make it easier on my heart. Bye.

Everything started to collapse on me.

I didn't know what to do. I showed the message to my girlfriend, she held my hand tight and said "let me reply that b1tch" and I said "no, just delete the message and block her"

The whole evening it felt like she was comforting me. Right now I'm home and I still feel like crap. All those things and moments we shared are ABSOLUTE LIES. That fvcking lying piece of sh!t cheated on me. Now she wants to "clear her heart". FVCK THAT

I will let her hamster wheel spin itself into total destruction; becoming the most successful person I can be, let that fvcking piece of sh1t DROWN in her own sorrow and agony for losing THE BEST THING SHE HAS EVER HAD.

Man I feel like ****. Not to mention I and my new gf need to get tested now because I didn't use condoms with both of them (the pill)."

dude, why worry about it? The fact is, it could be an out and out lie and probably is, just to get under your skin, hurt you and prompt a reply. Fvck her.

I would bet $1000 this was the reason she wrote this - nothing else makes sense

Well, I didn't reply and what she wrote only made me hate her guts even more.
I don't know why it's bothering me, I guess I feel like my manhood was deflated by the fact that 2 other guys fvcked her while I wasn't even suspecting, with the possibility of me having sex with her after she did with them

I keep telling myself that:
A. She's a psychopath
B. I behaved like a total wuss, doormat for her emotional abuse
C. She's a fvcking psychopath

She had a picture of herself alone on whatsapp while I had a picture of me hugging my new girl under a light bridge; This might be what set her off - she might've broken up with her "perfect" relationship she got into a day after breaking up with me, and I'm currently dating a thinner, taller and prettier version of my her.

She might also be trying to get me to confess for the cheating I've done (she doesn't know I cheated on her on multiple occasions and she will never find out).

I'm inexperienced so I have no idea what's her motives behind it, I tend to believe everything people tell me because I rarely lie.

This is so f-cked up, just when I started feeling MUCH better - I was thinking of her maybe once in 2 days as opposed to EVERY 2 MINUTES, even though I told her "We can't talk anymore, do not contact me ever again" she comes back to my life like a hurricane and lifts me up again!

Man oh man I'm gonna make her regret everything she's ever done, we're gonna meet one day by chance only for her to see how successful I become and try to hide the sorrow in her eyes of how she became a total failure - she became NOTHING in life. I sure hope she'll get what she deserves.

 

[Shaka]

Hey Vega, long time no see

I'm with Mauser.
I bet it's a lie. Don't give in and do not answer !
Some women have a twisted way for getting attention.
I'm not the type of guy that screams "BPD" for every minor things but be careful here. Don't be swallowed by the vortex. She seems a little kookoo.
Try considering blocking her number.

I know how far you came from since April, so hang in there.
It's nice that you're able to look back and see all the progress you made so far !
But the path never ends bro so keep at it

 

[Cerwin Vega]

Hey Vega, long time no see

I'm with Mauser.
I bet it's a lie. Don't give in and do not answer !
Some women have a twisted way for getting attention.
I'm not the type of guy that screams "BPD" for every minor things but be careful here. Don't be swallowed by the vortex. She seems a little kookoo.
Try considering blocking her number.

I know how far you came from since April, so hang in there.
It's nice that you're able to look back and see all the progress you made so far !
But the path never ends bro so keep at it

Hey man, same here
I've been busy living life when suddenly this sh!t happens. Took me a few steps back

 

[Noyou]

Agreed whole heartedly.

Everyone on this thread has had some form of push and pull game. Vega, yours seems to be she wants to bring you down off your new girl. "well I cheated on you," to where you reply if you had feelings for her, "I knew it you cheating ho" and get all angry and feel a certain way

The correct response is not to give a **** because you're with an awesome woman now and she can't stand it, also I think it's awesome that she comforted you, but don't make it habit, she will tire of it if your ex keeps coming up. Your ex wants you to feel bad because you're feeling good with this new chick. She knows she screwed up and now she wants you to join her, misery loves company right?

It messed me up when I saw new pics of my ex and her trying to meet new guys, openly flaunting, etc

But when I decided to move on, meet new women and have women dig me and blocked my everything to the ex, what do I get?

Fake profile requests
Unlisted calls
Her friends stalking me

It's a game man, and the best choice is not to play it. It's a pathetic attempt to feed egos.

Love isn't a game, you found a keeper, screw the ex and move forward

 

[Between_The_Lines]

She wants to suck you into the battle of the hamsters, Cerwin. Even if she left you, even if she "cheated" on you (twice), she still expects you to grovel and show suffering and anguish - she's an outright sadist. What would compel a girl to go to this length? Well, you didn't follow the expected narrative, so now she must punish you. Moving on and carrying on with life cannot go on for someone like her without sticking it back to you for making her feel so insignificant. Take a very brief moment to first laugh to yourself at the amount of rage this girl is carrying around burning her up inside EVERY DAY, then another brief moment to feel a little sad, and then put 'her' back in the little box in which she belongs - "irrelevant" and continue on with your life.

 

[TheMonkeyKing]

Obviously the two guys she cheated with have moved on too, or she wouldn't be calling (no offense).

As NoYou said, disregard her, in every manner and for good. And most of all do not get you new women involved in old ugly situations; you loose value by appearing to be one who isn't worth loyalty and not strong enough to deal with pathetic people such as this.

Recognising and learning to deal with weak people is one of life's great challenges; but life does get easier when we learn to just walk away from the childish behaviour.

Strong people are not hard work and are easier to spot in a crowd; they are those who are comfortable being themselves, easy personalities and not drawing attention because they need it. They get attention anyway.

 

[Noyou]

Lol well guys it seems I have my own push pull game now:

So ex posted new pic, added new guy she previously deleted or he deleted, they added each other back, I posted a new pic of me looking pretty snazzy in a tux, women commenting on my looks, then my Mother let me know of "hey did you know your ex is in a relationship with some guy
So I hadn't looked at her facebook for 2 months. So I went to look and there it was to see, check the guys profile and its secure as hell but I notice a fat guy and like, oh boy. However I was kinda feeling my heart strings being pulled but then I stopped and pondered. This status change on relationship was done the same day I got new 2 random friend requests. Not only that, something just feels... Off about it. Not only that she still has our pictures up.

I thought to myself: Ploy

And even if it's not it doesn't matter. Guy is fat and has 2 children and she's still an insecure mess. Recipe for disaster. Wait till the honeymoon stage is over after she gets done villifying me.

Time to play the push pull game by not playing it. I talked the game, time to walk it. Better myself in every case and become the person I want to be.

Thoughts and suggestions would be welcomed. Will come back if I show weakness. It does hurt a little but I'm not devestated, I see her for who she really is.