The *No Contact* Challenge! ( Read this if you just got dumped)

TheMonkeyKing

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Between_The_Lines said:
It makes more sense why she pulled that stunt yesterday when I put that together with her very recently making her profile public - she wants to play up the 'ol "look at what you're missing out on" card. At this point, I miss her about as much as I miss food poisoning.
Exactly. As someone said yesterday, remove her profile from all platforms and don't look back. Her continued presence obviously still affects you or you wouldn't mention it. You will treat others (women) differently until you don't have the residual exposure and consequent thoughts any longer.

This time, you can be the one that got away, in more ways than one.
 

Genos

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4 months NC.

Did something kind of dumb today. Was in class, working on a social group project. Was rapidly entering people's emails to send them a document that they needed to reference for the group work, and in the rush, gmail accidentally autofilled in my ex's best friend's email address, and sent her a copy of the group document. >__>

I quickly realized this after the fact, and sent her something along the lines of "Uhh sorry (her name), accidentally put you on this email >__>, was working on a project for class Hope things are goin well lol <_< peace"

She hasn't replied to the email. The whole thing was kind of dumb, I'm not really affected by it (I'm trying to stop worrying about the little things), but it got me thinking about my ex again, so I thought I'd post here. I also thought the email I sent was kinda beta with the shifty eyes emojis (I think I use those too much, they're a favorite of mine >_> see? haha), any advice on what I should have said? What would y'all have done?

Anyway, just checking in. Things have gotten a lot better. I'm actually starting to become thankful for whatever experiences I had in the separation - I've become much stronger as a result. The relationship (and the breakup) taught me so many things, and have motivated me to look inward and improve myself.
 

Cerwin Vega

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Noyou said:
and what if she goes ghost on you? You say this but this won't happen, you know why? Because 95% of us have done this already and comes the same outcome! she'll maybe try to work it out but she'll ultimately end it again. I can attest to this because I was in the same situation as you, said she missed me, talked to her again, she went cold and indifferent again. She did this several times to me in fact, but I got smart after the first time. She'll do It when:

1. The new guy didn't work out
2. The new guy is a **** but likes getting it
3. New guy broke it off with her
4. She's lonely
5. She feels guilty
6. She's bored

Love don't take breaks amigo, and it will be CLEAR she really misses you, not some games she's playing right now.
Noyou, your words worth their weight in gold.

My ex did everything yours is doing right now. At first she said she's sorry, then she started calling 2,3,5,7 times a day, then she started leaving these pathetic pitiful messages, when all she had to do was come over to my house and apologize and she fuucking knew it !!
I ignored it all, after 2 weeks she was dating that homo she's with now. I hope they kiss with a condom unless he likes the taste of my assshole on her tongue, fuucking sluut.
 

christoff522

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I have had an interesting day yesterday. Been NC for about 10 days now. Yesterday I went on smule to find someone had sung a song for me. Sadly too much of the use of the word 'good friend' for my liking. So NC continues. I want to do at least Dec 1st. Unless she's begging for me, telling me she loves me and visiting me at work to get my attention - then shes getting silence.

The way I look at it, I can either detach or get what I want. By detaching I may just get what I want now, and if I don't get what I want I may be getting what I need anyway.
 

Cerwin Vega

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Jesus Christ fellas, been going through pictures of girls in the university I've signed to, holy hell! Ex-who?!
 

christoff522

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After many hours, I ended it yesterday at 2359.

She hates me - she says she does anyway.

I gave her many reasons why this had to be the case.

I'm numb. I'm so overwhelmed by heartache, I've just stood in my garden smoking cigarettes, listening to the perfect songs for this occasion drinking gin and tonic.

I truly truly love her, this isn't co-dep, this isn't insecurities or anything, I love her with all my heart. I want her so badly it's like I'll never love anyone ever again.

I want to say "this had to be done", "I need to move on". But right now, I just want to see her again, kiss her, make love to her and all of this go away.

Like I said to her, our souls are intertwined, maybe one day we'll meet again.
 

Lion1985

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Is it a good idea to change the mobile number after break up?

I think this move will kill the last fvcking hope (the hope she will initiate contact/the hope which holds back the final recovery)

Have a prepaid handy so it will no bit deal (I will hand over my number only to my closest friends, so nobody can hand it over to her)

I think that exactly this "Hope" at the back of one's mind, is fvcking with our head, so we have to extract it....
 

mkj1990

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Wrote this around a week ago:

mkj1990 said:
So my ex is back with her new boyfriend after a short break-up. At 4 in the morning she sent me this text:

"Hi. As I'm sure you know I'm in a relationship with *******. He's an extremely jealous guy, and has threatened with talking to you about me. So could you please do me a favour, and don't respond to him if you meet him or he texts you?"

Wtf. Hahah, what should I respond with, guys?
Today her new boyfriend added me on Facebook. Never spoken to the guy. W_T_F?
She obviously must have said something about me that makes him jealous, and want to contact me?
 

TheMonkeyKing

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mkj1990 said:
Wrote this around a week ago:



Today her new boyfriend added me on Facebook. Never spoken to the guy. W_T_F?
She obviously must have said something about me that makes him jealous, and want to contact me?
He's a beta. You make him insecure. If he were anything else, he would not concern himself with you at all.

You, in turn, should not concern yourself with him (nor her). Full stop.
 

Noyou

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mkj1990 said:
Wrote this around a week ago:



Today her new boyfriend added me on Facebook. Never spoken to the guy. W_T_F?
She obviously must have said something about me that makes him jealous, and want to contact me?
Do not engage.

It's a checkup to see how you are
 

christoff522

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mkj1990 said:
Wrote this around a week ago:



Today her new boyfriend added me on Facebook. Never spoken to the guy. W_T_F?
She obviously must have said something about me that makes him jealous, and want to contact me?
Avoid, she's just trying to cause drama and he's feeding into it.
 

SoSuave666

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christoff522 said:
After many hours, I ended it yesterday at 2359.

She hates me - she says she does anyway.

I gave her many reasons why this had to be the case.

I'm numb. I'm so overwhelmed by heartache, I've just stood in my garden smoking cigarettes, listening to the perfect songs for this occasion drinking gin and tonic.

I truly truly love her, this isn't co-dep, this isn't insecurities or anything, I love her with all my heart. I want her so badly it's like I'll never love anyone ever again.

I want to say "this had to be done", "I need to move on". But right now, I just want to see her again, kiss her, make love to her and all of this go away.

Like I said to her, our souls are intertwined, maybe one day we'll meet again.
This is a tough post to read. Just take my word for it when I tell you you'll get over it.
 

Darrenez

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Hi guys and gals,


It's my Ex girlfriend birthday tomorrow. We split up in April, after 7 years. I last spoke to her on September 6th. Do I message a happy birthday message or not?

Obviously I remember its her birthday and personally would like to wish her a happy birthday. However is it worth it? What would she think if I didnt..not that she'd care.

Thoughts guys please.
 

djthiago1

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Darrenez said:
Hi guys and gals,


It's my Ex girlfriend birthday tomorrow. We split up in April, after 7 years. I last spoke to her on September 6th. Do I message a happy birthday message or not?

Obviously I remember its her birthday and personally would like to wish her a happy birthday. However is it worth it? What would she think if I didnt..not that she'd care.

Thoughts guys please.
NO CONTACT. Get over her.
 

Darrenez

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djthiago1 said:
NO CONTACT. Get over her.

Yep I make you right..I forgot to add, the last time I saw her I gave her the engagement ring back and barely spoke to her and since then I've been strictly no contact. I will be strong and keep busy tomorrow and will not contact her for sure. I suppose she won't even wonder why I haven't contacted her.
 

djthiago1

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Darrenez said:
Yep I make you right..I forgot to add, the last time I saw her I gave her the engagement ring back and barely spoke to her and since then I've been strictly no contact. I will be strong and keep busy tomorrow and will not contact her for sure. I suppose she won't even wonder why I haven't contacted her.
I'm on a three week NC (she broke up with me), so i know how you feel, stay strong, stay busy, and evaluate pros and cos in case you want to come back to her.

My #1 wish right now is to be back with my ex, but it wasn't a good relationship, she was lazy, anti-social, not fun, a very down person, only pros she had is that she was not a slut, and was very focused on her studies. But that wouldn't make me happy, i'm already not a very fun and active person myself, i can't be with someone less fun and active than me.
 

Darrenez

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I went on no contact since April but broke it during the summer. We met up and the general consensus was that she just wanted to be friends and wasn't sure if she wanted us to be together. We met up for dinner which She paid for as it was my birthday. I went all out and said I wanted to give it another go but it was no good.

A few days later I gave her the engagment ring back and basically didn't speak to her and rushed off. That was over 2 months ago..since then I've finally moved out and have gotten my own place.

I just thought messaging her happy birthday would be a nice thing to do and no harm would come of it...I guess I'll just stick to Nc.
 

Between_The_Lines

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Darrenez said:
I went on no contact since April but broke it during the summer. We met up and the general consensus was that she just wanted to be friends and wasn't sure if she wanted us to be together. We met up for dinner which She paid for as it was my birthday. I went all out and said I wanted to give it another go but it was no good.

A few days later I gave her the engagment ring back and basically didn't speak to her and rushed off. That was over 2 months ago..since then I've finally moved out and have gotten my own place.

I just thought messaging her happy birthday would be a nice thing to do and no harm would come of it...I guess I'll just stick to Nc.
Every minute after you send that text is going to feel like an hour until she responds, assuming she even responds. You definitely do not want to experience a no response from her. Bite the bullet, save yourself the agony, and carry on as if it were any other ordinary day.
 

mikey2012

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SoSuave666 said:
This is a tough post to read. Just take my word for it when I tell you you'll get over it.
Tough indeed. You will get through it. When you look back you will smile...
 
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