The *No Contact* Challenge! ( Read this if you just got dumped)

[Cerwin Vega]

I gotcha. Not gonna leave her squat. Fvck that *****

GET THIS!
I met her ex from our last breakup on the bus today - let's call him Tim.
While Tim and my ex were dating about a year ago, I called her over to my house and we f&@ked like animals. She later broke up with him and told him the whole story.
After she broke up with Tim, she started telling me how pathetic he is, how he was sad over her and couldn't find anyone like her, and he's really angry at me.
Funny thing is - Tim is not mad. He seems like a really cool guy!

Tim is now dating my cousin. She told me everything - he didn't even take my ex seriously and their relationship didn't mean anything at all.

To tell you the truth brothers, for a long time I was really pissed at Tim because I thought he "spoiled" my girlfriend (she told me they 'almost' had sex), turns out she was playing these crazy mind games over me the whole f**king time.

 

[No.Danny]

Been one week! Lmfao this ***** was probably one of the ugliest ones I've ever gotten at. I'm all good. Seeing a lot of cute girls in my class giving me looks. It helps that in most I'm the most attractive! Just the first week so haven't had a chance to start. But will commence soon. I'll probably start a journal

 

[MattTheW]

I gotcha. Not gonna leave her squat. Fvck that *****

GET THIS!
I met her ex from our last breakup on the bus today - let's call him Tim.
While Tim and my ex were dating about a year ago, I called her over to my house and we f&@ked like animals. She later broke up with him and told him the whole story.
After she broke up with Tim, she started telling me how pathetic he is, how he was sad over her and couldn't find anyone like her, and he's really angry at me.
Funny thing is - Tim is not mad. He seems like a really cool guy!

Tim is now dating my cousin. She told me everything - he didn't even take my ex seriously and their relationship didn't mean anything at all.

To tell you the truth brothers, for a long time I was really pissed at Tim because I thought he "spoiled" my girlfriend (she told me they 'almost' had sex), turns out she was playing these crazy mind games over me the whole f**king time.

See. and you wanted to try and keep THAT in your life!!
She manipulates everything to make her the victim, the ex becomes the crazy villain

No doubt she's doing exactly the same about you now....

MOVE ON

 

[Cerwin Vega]

Usually emotions and reason don't go hand in hand.
Even though I know she's absolute poison to me, I can't keep myself from thinking of her and missing her. I know she's BAD for me and a lying, cheating wh0re who doesn't even like me but only wants to use me to tingle her cooch, enslave me and raise her own value and status on my behalf.

I mean, I'm very rational and in control, I just want those feelings gone. I just can't seem to remember all the bad things she's done to me (and even if I do, they seem insignificant!)

 

[Genos]

It's been almost 7 weeks now since she broke things off...said she didn't want to talk to me.

I'm about to head back to my college for the fall semester. The girl I separated from was an international student, and she's heading back to her country for a job. I haven't spoken to her in so long, I'm not even sure if she's left the country yet.

I've been struggling with myself here on whether to ask her to meet up...if there would be any time to do it, it would be now, right as I get back to college, as the more time that goes on, the higher possibility that she has left already.

The thing is, I think what caused her to want to separate was me not being forward enough, and not showing my interest (I came off as too detached); so hitting her up might work. Something casual, like "You still in town? Want to meet up tomorrow night?"

My gut is telling me two things: 1. "Don't contact her - if she doesn't respond or reminds me that she doesn't want to speak, you'll feel like absolute crap, and reset all your progress in moving on that you've made. Moreover, you'll lose whatever power you might have, and let her feel confident in her decision to break up." But it's also saying, "She might not have left the country yet, if you give it a shot now, she could agree to meet up (she might still have feelings for me), and if she doesn't, she's leaving the country anyway."

Both arguments have some merit...I'm not sure what to do...

 

[Lion1985]

120 days - 4 months of No Contact

If you are going through hell, keep going"

 

[StuffofLegends]

Day 22 NC

Went on a date tonight but just not feeling it/her. Not b/c I'm still hung up on my Ex.. I know I don't want her back... But I'll have to find someone I'm really into to get back in a serious relationship with again. This girl I went out with tonight is a cool friend. That's it. Maybe it was good for me just to be around another female. A step in the right direction. I had fun and a good time with her. Don't see anything more though.

 

[Noyou]

Day 22 NC

Went on a date tonight but just not feeling it/her. Not b/c I'm still hung up on my Ex.. I know I don't want her back... But I'll have to find someone I'm really into to get back in a serious relationship with again. This girl I went out with tonight is a cool friend. That's it. Maybe it was good for me just to be around another female. A step in the right direction. I had fun and a good time with her. Don't see anything more though.

You've been scared by your ex. I for a bit was in the same position. Any woman I dated didn't mean anything because I still had feelings for the ex. After awhile though, you will realize there are a lot of amazing women out there, and it would be a shame to not let them in on the amazing person that is you.

Just be awesome

 

[Sardines]

So one of her best friends (whom she fell out with a couple months prior to ending things with me) sends me a message detailing how this girl had been sleeping with me and another guy during the entire 4 months we were together.

She'd previously told me he was an ex but i suppose he wasn't and he also found out from this ex friend about me. Whatever her motivation for telling both of us i'll never know. And the funny part is she is trying to work things out with him (he also slept with someone while he was sleeping with her too).

Women are so cold. Sometimes i have good days sometimes the weight of it can be crushing. Knowing how stubborn and selfish she can be, she'll try to rationalize it somehow. This kind of betrayal just crushes a man.

 

[Noyou]

So one of her best friends (whom she fell out with a couple months prior to ending things with me) sends me a message detailing how this girl had been sleeping with me and another guy during the entire 4 months we were together.

She'd previously told me he was an ex but i suppose he wasn't and he also found out from this ex friend about me. Whatever her motivation for telling both of us i'll never know. And the funny part is she is trying to work things out with him (he also slept with someone while he was sleeping with her too).

Women are so cold. Sometimes i have good days sometimes the weight of it can be crushing. Knowing how stubborn and selfish she can be, she'll try to rationalize it somehow. This kind of betrayal just crushes a man.

I wouldn't worry about it, nothing of value will come of what she's doing. Plus why would you want someone who will do this too you? Let the ho go, she's obviously got that promiscuity going on. The motivation is to get a rise out of you. Don't fall for it, it is cruel but being ignored is worse than anything.

I learned that all these little power pulls and motivations are to see if she still has power over you

 

[StuffofLegends]

You've been scared by your ex. I for a bit was in the same position. Any woman I dated didn't mean anything because I still had feelings for the ex. After awhile though, you will realize there are a lot of amazing women out there, and it would be a shame to not let them in on the amazing person that is you.

Just be awesome

Thanks, man. I needed to hear that.

 

[MattTheW]

Day 22 NC

Went on a date tonight but just not feeling it/her. Not b/c I'm still hung up on my Ex.. I know I don't want her back... But I'll have to find someone I'm really into to get back in a serious relationship with again.

Everything takes a knock when coming out of a relationship - you look at your ex with rose tinted specs, and struggle to find a new woman that compares (but who can really compare to the skewed image stored in your head of your ex....- not even your ex can do that!!!)

Don't get too bogged down with it though - eventually it'll happen, don't get too concerned with the relationship thing either - get out there, have some fun, "try before you buy"
Have your fun - the long term relationship (if that is what you want) will follow

This girl I went out with tonight is a cool friend. That's it. Maybe it was good for me just to be around another female. A step in the right direction. I had fun and a good time with her. Don't see anything more though.

It is indeed a step in the right direction, just keep doing this, some women it wont click with, and you drop them, keep them as friends - or whatever you want to do and eventually you'll find someone that will tick all the boxes

Keep it up fella

 

[MattTheW]

So one of her best friends (whom she fell out with a couple months prior to ending things with me) sends me a message detailing how this girl had been sleeping with me and another guy during the entire 4 months we were together.

She'd previously told me he was an ex but i suppose he wasn't and he also found out from this ex friend about me. Whatever her motivation for telling both of us i'll never know. And the funny part is she is trying to work things out with him (he also slept with someone while he was sleeping with her too).

Women are so cold. Sometimes i have good days sometimes the weight of it can be crushing. Knowing how stubborn and selfish she can be, she'll try to rationalize it somehow. This kind of betrayal just crushes a man.

FCUK it

What have you learnt from this information? That she's a *****, is that new information? Really?

Don't think about it - don't care about it

Go about your day to day - and forget about her and this Cr@p that you're being told

If it was me, I'd let the "friend" know that this stuff doesn't interest me and just to not waste your time telling you

Stay strong - it gets better

 

[StuffofLegends]

Everything takes a knock when coming out of a relationship - you look at your ex with rose tinted specs, and struggle to find a new woman that compares (but who can really compare to the skewed image stored in your head of your ex....- not even your ex can do that!!!)

Don't get too bogged down with it though - eventually it'll happen, don't get too concerned with the relationship thing either - get out there, have some fun, "try before you buy"
Have your fun - the long term relationship (if that is what you want) will follow

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It is indeed a step in the right direction, just keep doing this, some women it wont click with, and you drop them, keep them as friends - or whatever you want to do and eventually you'll find someone that will tick all the boxes

Keep it up fella

I'm trying, man. Thanks!

 

[StuffofLegends]

Day 26 NC

Almost been a month.. I still have the highs and lows, the good days and bad days... Glad I decided to take this challenge seriously though as I know it has been helpful in healing and recovery. Sometimes it may not feel like I'm getting any better but then I realize how far I've come.

Appreciate all the support here and others sharing their stories and what their going though. Let's keep going!

 

[Cerwin Vega]

Month 4 of breakup / Month 1 of NC
Extreme low. Can't stop thinking about her yet again.

 

[Cerwin Vega]

Haha, all of my muscles are sore from past workouts. I do a lot of walking and running these days, as well as working out, it's really good. I'm at a low point because I can't get laid.

 

[Noyou]

I've found that cardio makes you feel good for a short time but lifting heavy reps to failure gives you that test boost that turns depression into anger.

I hear you on the laid part, I had been with this slutty asian chick but that is tapped out, now just getting flaked on really.

I'd evaluate your life first before you start banging away. Sometimes "getting some strange" does not do you good, and only harms you more. You need to ween this ex dependency because you are trying to replace what the ex left you, for the wrong reasons, with other women.

Going and having sex with women is good, but what I found out, is with a bit of walking it off and "dusting" yourself off from the breakup. You make yourself sterner and stronger over time. It will make you more confident and charismatic. Women WILL notice this.

For example. When with the ex, I was fat, only had my eyes on her, never flirted with women, EVEN IF I was naturally flirty and when I walked into the room, I was a ghost.

NOW after watching my weight, taking care of me, bettering my career, when I go into a room, I am the focal point, I am the guy everyone is talking about. Case on point, today we had some important CEOs come to my company. No one really dressed up, even if we were told, except for me and a few others. I walked into work, the married/unmarried women looked at me and undressed me, call me sexy, and say things like "you clean up nicely."

These things feel good, and not only because others recognize it.
You already knew this about yourself

You guys need to take time and become the guy you want to be.

Srsly guys, I have 4 women I can choose from anytime I want and they all want someone special / fwb.

When you look out for you, the opposite sex knows. And that is when the ex will get nosy about you again. I already got a friend request from some random chick I don't know. I seem to get a lot of those since the breakup

 

[The North Dragon]

Been going one a week now off no contact. Heard nothing from her and exuded to remove her from Facebook a couple day as ago. Ended up sniping on her yesterday for first time and see she added back her ex before. He's already in a relationship with someone else but she told me she disliked him, he cheating on her and treated her like crap.

I remember one day when me and her were meeting up before we started dating her ex turned up really drunk. She told me she dismissed him and told him it was over for good.

I kind of feel like my relationship was a rebound but it lasted 1.5 years? I was playing my cards right in the beginning always making her want more and trying to get me to move in her flat. After I told her I wasn't ready it pretty much went down from there.

Couple months later I talked to her about getting a house and she couldn't understand why I wanted to do it now and not back then? I thought it was simply to early in the relationship.

Kind of gutted I haven't heard anything back, would have been nice knowing she is thinking of me and it's hard not seeing each other anymore. I never begged her to stay I only try to fix I problem and want a second chance and she declined. Told her friends isn't an option and don't text me either.

Feeling like chit today bro's, feeling like I am back at day 1!!

 

[MattTheW]

Been going one a week now off no contact. Heard nothing from her and exuded to remove her from Facebook a couple day as ago. Ended up sniping on her yesterday for first time and see she added back her ex before. He's already in a relationship with someone else but she told me she disliked him, he cheating on her and treated her like crap.

Ok, why did you even bother looking at her facebook?
What were you hoping to gain from it? That you'd find some post about how much she misses you or "I'm miserable now that part of my heart is mssing" blah blah blah......

Did you get what you wanted from looking at her page?
Are you now in a better place?

If you can learn from your mistake, then some good will come from this, if you cant, then I pity you.

I remember one day when me and her were meeting up before we started dating her ex turned up really drunk. She told me she dismissed him and told him it was over for good.

Told or you saw?
Actions and words buddy......

I kind of feel like my relationship was a rebound but it lasted 1.5 years? I was playing my cards right in the beginning always making her want more and trying to get me to move in her flat. After I told her I wasn't ready it pretty much went down from there.

Did the ex live with her when they were together?
That could be a reason she wanted you to move in, to fill the void of having a person in the house with her........

It may well have been a rebound initially
Does it really matter now though?
A year and a half on you're still in the same position - don't bother trying to work this sh1t out in your head mate, it really isn't worth it

Couple months later I talked to her about getting a house and she couldn't understand why I wanted to do it now and not back then? I thought it was simply to early in the relationship.

To her, nothing had changed, it's the logic difference between men and women. Don't question it, just accept it
Don't waste time trying to analyse

Kind of gutted I haven't heard anything back, would have been nice knowing she is thinking of me and it's hard not seeing each other anymore. I never begged her to stay I only try to fix I problem and want a second chance and she declined. Told her friends isn't an option and don't text me either.

Why are you gutted?
By being gutted you are just saying to us that you are still clinging on,
all that says to me is that you are missing her and you're gutted that she doesn't feel the same way......

I realise you are only a week in, and as such its hard to get these things in check, but you gotta try and move on

Feeling like chit today bro's, feeling like I am back at day 1!!

You get this every now and again, but you will come out the other side stronger.
You're still trying to analyse all the sh1t that went on - you gotta try and let it go
Don't dwell on it - keep active and try and clear your head of these unproductive thought.