Blazing said:
Yessir. In my case my ex is the one that broke NC...
So sad to hear it man...
But I guess back some posts you were warned no to fall into the trap.
In fact, it doesn't really matter who breaks NC. The fact is, she is the dumper, and you are the dumpee. As Renegade said, we are all coming from a lower position. My ex broke NC twice already. It's up me to take the bait, which I haven't and will not.
Anyway, it's sad how things worked out for you. Welcome aboard again!
- - - - - - - - -
In another story, I just want to say that today I'm really furious, but actually, I'm feeling better. I'm less shaky, and my chest is not hurting so much. Almost not hurting at all.
All of this, because yesterday I went to a bar, and I've saw no one else but the dude that f**ked my Ex.
There he was, oh so happy, flirting with two other girls, like nothing has ever happened. The dude that f**ked my life over, was over there... happy!
I got so mad that I made a promise to myself (I am filled with hatred and disgust btw).
In the beggining, my goal was to become the best man I could ever be, so that one day, she would look up to me and think (or say) "Damn, what the F have I done?"
Then, my goal shifted to a lighter path, where I was to become a better man, the best I could be. Period. The problem with this path, is that it lacked motivation, a sense o purpose and a goal... and so I slacked the last couple of weeks.
Now I have it pretty clear in my mind, a darker path. I will make them pay the same amount o pain I've suffered. Both of them. Each one in an especific way.
As I can see now, life is divided in 3 circles. Financial Health, Physical Health and Mental Health.
For her, I am going to be the most tenacious DJ ever (Mental Health), while also using all this knowlegde to improve my carreer in sales ($ Health). I'll be The best so I can watch her sorry ass chasing me like donkey chases a carrot in a stick. :kick:
You guys can follow my posts from now on, 'cause this s**t is going down.
As for the dude, I'm going to train my wimp body to the maximum, mantain a good diet and also begin boxing classes (Physical Health), so I can break that scumbag face in half.:trouble:
Yeah! Revenge! The darker path... The path for destruction.
Some might say, "Dude, it's not going to take you anywhere, you will only find more pain and regret". They may be right, but this gave me a clear purpose. A goal, a mean to an end.
That is why I'm optmistic today. Because now I have a motive to get there. Who knows when I get there if these maggots, these insects, will still pollute my mind. Who knows.
What I know now is that I got a purpose to become the best that I can be, and if that wasn't the case, I knew I would slack midway!
Today, I found anger. But also aceptance. And specially, forgiveness. Forgiveness for myself. I've been blaming myself for so long about the breakup. F**k the breakup, f**k Clara, f**k 'em all. They are insolent little creatures, that will walk in this earth like all the others. Insignificant. Ordinary. Mediocre.
Not me, nor any of us in here. We have something they lack. We have inner strenght, we have backbone, we have knowlegde. We have thirst for learning. Otherwise, none of us would be in here.
In fact, I just hit enlightment righ now! Instead of using all this rage, anger, confusion, sadness in trying to plot ('cause many of us are here to plot. I know I was) on how to get back with Ex's. Instead, we should be using all these feelings to leverage our own selfs.
They do not deserve our love, nor respect. They are cheaty, liars, heartless, indifferent, cold... Mean. We on the other hand are men of value. We value love, respect, honor, honesty. We are men of character. Otherwise, we wouldn't be here trying to "fix ourselfs". If we were low men, destined for mediocrity we wouldn't give a flying f**k about it.
This is all coming from the heart. Anger... It is a usefull feeling after all.
Jesus... At f**king last! I am finally in peace with myself!
Best of luck to all! =)
