The *No Contact* Challenge! ( Read this if you just got dumped)

[Dgwizdal]

OP - for the love of Christ. Please reread my post instead of loathing on the past which you cannot change. If you take action to improve yourself immediately, the sooner you will be completely self content and have her and any other chick swinging by your balls when you want them to. Female emotions cannot be logically defined by man. Women are from Venus - Men are from Mars. Do not waste your time thinking about what could have been or what happened. Think about what can be and make that chit happen. Focus on improving yourself and doing it for you only. In wanting to check up on a completely random bro after slaying one of my exes friends on the low in the bathroom of a bar tonight (dead farking serious), it disappoints me that you are not taking the advice that took me 5 months to realize on my own. I wish I had someone showing me the light after my ex dumped me and I smoked 3 packs of cigs a day on 3 hours of sleep feeling like a phaggot thinking about what I did wrong and why this and Figuring out that sick to my stomach.

Your going to talk yourself into circles for months until you wake the fark up. My post is not a troll. Reread - not a troll. You will have whatever you want as long as you be the f*ckin man again and get out of this fictitious reality you have created for yourself because you went beta and let some chick define you. It does not seem like it now, but as soon as you force yourself to progress the sooner you Will be in control of yourself and everyone around you. Reread my post and take that sh*t to the bank. Do not give her the time of day after the I do not feel the same way either text mentioned earlier. Zero response, zero reply, zero emotional response (forever), until you are too much of a boss for petty b*tches - you will get what you want whatever that may be at the time.

Open your eyes and look towards the man you can become. Not the phaggot you turned Into and are right now because of some blonde with big t*ts who got you soft. You can and will own that chit again if you want. Just not yet...

Take my advice - and do not come back here for sympathy or answers until 6 months from now when you are the F*ckin man again and a fellow bro who is passing along advice to other miscers on how to get over a sloot and own life and any bich he wants again.

BRB - banged random sloot tonight in bathroom of Chicago bar. Care more about random Misc than any chick on the planet except my mom. Work in t minus 4 hours drunk as fark and trying to knock some sense into a younger bro in less pain than I was in. Date with chick on Lake Michigan dinner cruise tomorrow with guaranteed more *****. And serving my ex cream-of-sum-yung-gai after i make her pay for dinner at Benny Hana's Thursday. And I still got my money. Phaggots.

 

[itdude]

@Dgwizdal

awesome post bro. I read it a couple of times so I wouldn't miss anything. really valuable advice in there.

I am somewhat of a beta and I am here to improve myself and this is just the kind of stuff I want to read.

 

[mkj1990]

@Dgwizdal:

After reading that post I just jumped out of bed, ready to seize the day. Awesome.

 

[Jariel]

I've been reading this during my own NC and have found it to be very helpful particularly, as noted by others, Jariel. You're a stand up guy and she's treated you terribly, the twit. Two sides to every story and all but you've been kind to strangers in need and that says a lot about your character. I wish you well.

Thank you. I appreciate that and I'm glad I could help and thanks for the support. She did hurt me in a bad way, but I have to accept I played my part too and much like you I've found great relief in forgiveness.

Listen guys, I am not a religious nut. But I'm telling you when I just forgave him...said it out loud...I fully and freely forgive (name) for the pain you caused me and I'm sorry for the pain I caused you...man did I feel better.

I'm not religious either, but forgiving those who wrong you is very empowering. It gives you back control and gives you a sense of closure. If you carry the resentment with you, it becomes a burden and will drag you down.

You should never go back to anyone who cheats on you in my opinion, but if you can forgive, it will make it easier to move on.

I got a message Tuesday (next day!) that he was missing me and I didn't even care. I just replied that I was doing well and hoped he was too.

The strange thing is, my ex messaged me once I reached that point of forgiveness too. We've exchanged a few texts and I feel better about moving on now. Until that point I was just so miserable and angry, but now that I've let go, I feel ready to date again and spend time with other people.

Thanks for that inspirational post btw. I am right behind you on the forgiveness...and also for taking responsibility for our own actions. A lot of men consider it emasculating to accept any blame, and like to blame the women for everything, but everyone here has fvcked up in one way or another and the sooner they acknowledge that, the sooner they can learn from it and make their next relationship a success.

 

[fuko2007]

Hey guys, I'm new here. Would really appreciate if you could help me some.

Recently broke up with my gf, sort of mutual. This is our second breakup. Basically she's undecided between me and this other new guy.

We have been dating for some years, crazy in love, but things got into the routine mode and she got tired of the lack of passion we were having (work, no time), things dragged on for some months, and she broke up. I immediately went NC and it worked. After a month she was calling me and we were back together (maybe too fast, damn it!).

Now, as soon as she told me she also likes this guy, I immediately broke up. Told her to make up her mind, and not tell me anything for the next weeks (because she was insisting we keep in touch). The thing is, I still think I could have gone more NC, because I think this has gone across as "i'll wait for you 1 month, i'll be here". Also, we agreed she would not try to engage with the new guy, to give her time to realize who she wants before killing us. But this sucks, I think this kills the NC reverse-psychology trick. Also, it came across as we would be friends anyway (damn it!). I played it cool, "no-problem,-no-one-will-die,this-is-life,people-come-and-go" speech. And basically I'm waiting for an answer, she thinks she's supposed to give back an answer some time soon. I hate this position, I don't think the pressure to give me back an answer helps at all. And I have no idea what to do then, if she wants to retry. If she says she's with the other guy, more NC.

What should I do? Not a week has passed since the break up.
Is there nothing to do but wait?
I'm typing this and I'm thinking, "nope, just wait, go enjoy this sunny weather, improve your life, etc"...
And what's the best thing to do if she says she still wants to try again, that the attraction for the other guy was not serious. Last break-up we restarted too soon, I guess. I was so glad NC was working.

OP: im not trying to be harsh here but even the fact of you agreeing to do that makes you seem like a beta chump that is needy. She is being the man right and saying im going to choose one of you. WTF IS THAT ****? You need to do yourself a favor and just call her and say this is not working for me and thats it. Dont even say sorry, you think the other guy she is intrested in is not out banging other women? He does not care and she will chase him since she does not have to chase you anymore, so basically your in orbit right now bro. Been there, drop her and if she comes back bang her and thats it. No hanging out no dinner no drinks just sex. Be talking to another girl your intrested in while you do that.

 

[Blazing]

So guys as you know my ex and I now contact each other every now and then. I made some rules for myself with this. 1.being that I'll never be the one who starts the conversation with her.

I figure this kind of contact won't be a big deal since we aren't getting back together. We both accepted it or so I thought.
But lately she's seemed weird. I had to dress up for a meeting and I run into her as I was walking there. And she's telling me how nice I look. I ask her what's she smiling about and she's like it's just nice to see you. I say likewise and she says she's glad I feel the same way. Other days when I've into her she always tries to jokingly call me names and when I asked what was up with that she says that she's just being playful.

So my question is is my ex trying to get back close to me again trying to get back with me or what? We both kinda accepted that circumstances wouldn't allow is to be together. But idk what she's trying to do. I'd almost try to float the **** buddy idea to her but some people say that exs turned **** buddies never end well.

So guys help me out...it'd be great to have some other insight

 

[Renegade357]

So guys help me out...it'd be great to have some other insight

Sounds like she's flirting with you and giving you obvious signs of interest. If you want another chance with her just take her back to date #1 by asking her out and make her earn her way back up SLOWLY.

 

[Blazing]

Sounds like she's flirting with you and giving you obvious signs of interest. If you want another chance with her just take her back to date #1 by asking her out and make her earn her way back up SLOWLY.

I kind of agree but I don't want to rush to conclusions. The conversation that followed the night I dressed up she even mentioned it again saying "you looked really nice btw". Of course she could have just been being friendly. Just odd to say something like that when we are really just now back in contact

I'm in no rush right now so I guess we'll see what she does next. Out of the 10 or so days she's had my number back she's texted me 7 of them lol. So idk if she just likes staying in touch or if she has other thoughts.

 

[Renegade357]

I'm in no rush right now so I guess we'll see what she does next. Out of the 10 or so days she's had my number back she's texted me 7 of them lol. So idk if she just likes staying in touch or if she has other thoughts.

Next time she contacts you just assume she wants to see you. Simple as that. You could say "So I assume you want to get together? Why don't you come over and we'll cook dinner together."

Put it on the table dude. Force the decision. You'll know what's up real fast. You won't be second guessing anymore on this thread.

 

[fredhib]

OP: im not trying to be harsh here but even the fact of you agreeing to do that makes you seem like a beta chump that is needy. She is being the man right and saying im going to choose one of you. WTF IS THAT ****? You need to do yourself a favor and just call her and say this is not working for me and thats it. Dont even say sorry, you think the other guy she is intrested in is not out banging other women? He does not care and she will chase him since she does not have to chase you anymore, so basically your in orbit right now bro. Been there, drop her and if she comes back bang her and thats it. No hanging out no dinner no drinks just sex. Be talking to another girl your intrested in while you do that.

You're right, shouldn't have handled it like that. But I already took care of it now. Thanks.

 

[Blazing]

Next time she contacts you just assume she wants to see you. Simple as that. You could say "So I assume you want to get together? Why don't you come over and we'll cook dinner together."

Put it on the table dude. Force the decision. You'll know what's up real fast. You won't be second guessing anymore on this thread.

Lol, I didn't even get that far dude she randomly texts me lastnight "I miss you"
long story short that turns into her saying I still love you but I know what the future holds and I can't handle it. Meaning that after next spring we will both be moving. If that's her conclusion idk why she'd even bring things up to start with lol. Told her we should talk in person. So we shall see, she obviously doesn't like the way things are or she wouldn't have started this conversation

 

[Machtwo]

Lol, I didn't even get that far dude she randomly texts me lastnight "I miss you"
long story short that turns into her saying I still love you but I know what the future holds and I can't handle it. Meaning that after next spring we will both be moving. If that's her conclusion idk why she'd even bring things up to start with lol. Told her we should talk in person. So we shall see, she obviously doesn't like the way things are or she wouldn't have started this conversation

She's in turmoil and she wants you to feel some turmoil/hurt as well, probably thinks you are handling things too well!

 

[fuko2007]

Starting day one of NC. Ive been treated like crap and walked on for the past 3 months. Push pull, hot cold, blame shifting, projecting her own faults and problems on me etc. I feel hurt but feel like im the wrong one right now. She just texted me abt a wedding im in this weekend and she will be there. Im not replying at anycost . She has been cold and distant for a while now and anytime i would ask if she wanted to do something i get a maybe. I was supposed to go over there sunday to get my clothes and drop house key off but im not going to now. Why do i feel so bad and like im in the wrong. I know im not perfect and have my own faults but she has major problems with relationships and i feel like ours ending is my fault. Im in the stage of i hope she is not with another guy and what is she doing blah blah. She seemed like it didnt even bother her when we talked abt ending it, i mean no emotion. I hope i can get through this wedding without seeing her and her making it to where i cant have fun.

If she sees me with another girl be it talking i will start getting messages like sure seems like your fine or something hatefull but if she is hanging out with guys its ok. Sorry venting right there. Just nervous about all this.

 

[Dgwizdal]

Starting day one of NC. Ive been treated like crap and walked on for the past 3 months. Push pull, hot cold, blame shifting, projecting her own faults and problems on me etc. I feel hurt but feel like im the wrong one right now. She just texted me abt a wedding im in this weekend and she will be there. Im not replying at anycost . She has been cold and distant for a while now and anytime i would ask if she wanted to do something i get a maybe. I was supposed to go over there sunday to get my clothes and drop house key off but im not going to now. Why do i feel so bad and like im in the wrong. I know im not perfect and have my own faults but she has major problems with relationships and i feel like ours ending is my fault. Im in the stage of i hope she is not with another guy and what is she doing blah blah. She seemed like it didnt even bother her when we talked abt ending it, i mean no emotion. I hope i can get through this wedding without seeing her and her making it to where i cant have fun.

If she sees me with another girl be it talking i will start getting messages like sure seems like your fine or something hatefull but if she is hanging out with guys its ok. Sorry venting right there. Just nervous about all this.

Please see my post on page 173

 

[fuko2007]

well she came to the wedding and ruined it for me, started a fight between the two of us etc. I gave her key back and said i would come get things tomorrow. When i texted her abt that the next day she said we were both better off not seeing each other for a while etc so i said back yeh your right ive been thinking abt that for a while. Well i texted this a.m. to see if i could meet her at 7 to get rest of stuff but she never said anything back. So she is ingnoring me. Then i was on my fb and saw a pic someone had posted of her from lastnight at a dinner party. She was all smiles etc, so that hurt really bad. guess this is the official day 1 of nc. It sucks bc i have so much stuff going on in my life as it is this is the last thing i need. But i have been talking to another girl lately, not helping that much but whatever. After being ignored via text i said fine keep all my stuff it can be replaced.

 

[Victor Meldrew]

Got drunk on Saturday and stupidly texted her saying that 'we need to talk either tonight or on Monday'. I haven't texted her again but I'm still pissed off I bothered to break NC. Before I texted her, I was starting to forget about her as she hadn't texted/made contact. Unsure what to do now really...

Texting her tonight with me saying I'm pissed off at her etc is something I haven't shown yet and could be a joker card but if she doesn't reply, it'll just end up with me being more pissed off. Going down the making her jealous route wouldn't work is my gut feeling. So, NC seems naturally more appealing but like I've said previously, she has tons of AFC's ready to step into my shoes. If I start NC, I'm deleting her number, blocking her profiles etc, going the whole hog this time.

Started to get to know another woman also though. Getting along well and the most pleasing thing for me is that there's no romantic level yet, much more relaxed feel about it.

What would you guys do in my shoes? I know I'm not anywhere near as DJ as most of you on here but I've changed my outlook on women drastically due to this website.

 

[mkj1990]

The first three weeks of NC was no problem, but during the weekend and today I've been struggeling, not been able to get her out of my head. Not that I haven't thought about her earlier, but at certain points of the weekend it was imense. It all started with her liking my profil pic at FB. f*ckf*ck*f*ck. And it all got worse when she posted pictures of her "awesome night out partying", while I had a crappy one, acting like a clown all night. Really have to work on my game.

Mondays... :box:

Thank God I did not break NC. 23 days, and counting.

 

[Renegade357]

It all started with her liking my profil pic at FB. f*ckf*ck*f*ck. And it all got worse when she posted pictures of her "awesome night out partying", while I had a crappy one, acting like a clown all night. Really have to work on my game.

Man, just block her from FB or at least unsubscribe from her news feed. You're going to go through these cycles for another month at least.

 

[hottiedoggie]

Do not know whether this is counted but im still going to post it here. I went NC with this girl from my school, you can say that we are always like a couple but didnt make it official? So back to the story, I went NC twice with her over the past month, this first NC was broken by her after a week when she texted me saying "did you forget about me?". After a few days of texting and also talking on the phone, i realised her replies were getting cold, so i established a 2nd round of NC, 1 and a half week in still no replies from her. We both have the same tuition class so would see each other on a weekly basis. Two nights ago something interesting happened to me, while i was sleeping, i dreamt of her name and suddenly woke up. I think im getting obsessed about her :O. anyways right now both of us are preparing for our national exams which is ending in 1 months time, im going to break NC after it and try to make it official between the both of us. This saga has lasted too long.

 

[Driggs]

You'll be sorry.