The myth of the single woman

[STR8UP]

Not only is it a sliding scale and most people are in the middle, it's also not static.

Rollo would be proud!

Now we are putting this into more simplified terms that might be easier to understand.

It makes me want to jump out of my skin when I hear people talking in absolutes when it comes to human nature.

People move around the scale for various reasons. Sometimes the same person is being more good or "quality" and at other times not so good or "low quality". Women I believe tend to go up and down the scale more than men do just as their emotions go up and down more.

Slam dunk, my man!

This is where it cracks me up when guys start talking about how they would be ok with having a relationship with a woman who has been with no more than 4.6 men over the course of 5.5 years, but only if they were "single" for at least 50% of that time.

Your little angel that tells you she has had sex with only 3 guys in her life could have sucked 50 c0cks and sleep well at night knowing she told you the truth when you asked her number

I will give the other camp at least one concession. You might not always know if your girl is cheating but a DJ will usually always know something is up with her. The difference comes down to are you going to be a denier or are you going to accept what's probably true.

I agree with this as well. 99% of the time your gut will tell you something isn't right. The 1% of the time the alarms might not go off is when she is cheating for the thrill, as opposed to seeking emotional satisfaction. But there is always that 1%............

 

[iqqi]

It's about realizing that "quality" and "low quality" exist in everyone.

Str8up, great point. It's up to us to choose wisely.

Where I'm coming from, is that, with the knowledge that we have. The fact, that we've put forth the effort to learn how things really work.

We should be able to filter out the women that are out to use us. The women that will cheat, branch swing, etc.

We have good tests, and each other here, to fend off these women...and to accept the women that do fit us, as individuals.

I think the important thing to not forget here, is that certain low qualities are basically actions and choices a person makes. And some women will never be as low as others. Some women will never do crack. Some women will never cheat. Some women will never give a random dude a BJ for a bag of weed.

And vice versa, some women will never have enough character to not cheat. Some women will not have the strenth to say no to peer pressure.

Choices made are what defines quality and character.

When someone here refers to a quality woman, it has something to do with all that.

 

[iqqi]

It makes me want to jump out of my skin when I hear people talking in absolutes when it comes to human nature.

Like how when someone says all women cheat?

 

[ketostix]

Yea, when you strip it down to the bare bones it's easy to see how the chicks on Dr. Phil might have a point when they say that they are "uncomfortable" with the fact that there are guys out there who study the art of seducing women, yet the same women gobble up the romance from a "natural" which is perfectly ok, because he isn't aware of his motives. It's six of one, half dozen of another, but you can't tell people that.

Yes, seduction is seduction and a ONS is a ONS. The day women remain a virgin until they marry and never cheat is the day they can talk about what's ethical and unethical for men to do. You play the game by the current rules and the way that is required to win it. I don't have a problem with someone drawing the line at marriage or wherever, I pretty much do that myself, I just don't say that automatically makes them more "ethical" or higher quality.

 

[STR8UP]

We should be able to filter out the women that are out to use us. The women that will cheat, branch swing, etc.

My issue is that even women I have met who I would judge to be of high integrity, I get the impression that they have done things in the past they weren't proud of, and you never know when they might repeat the same behavior given the right circumstances.

Angels and devils live within all of us. All you can do is choose wisely, be a MAN, and hope for the best.

 

[STR8UP]

Like how when someone says all women cheat?

Yea, who said that? Cause it certainly wasn't me....

 

[iqqi]

I don't have a problem with someone drawing the line at marriage or wherever, I pretty much do that myself, I just don't say that automatically makes them more "ethical" or higher quality.

Maybe what you aren't seeing, is that a person with good character, is not attracted to a person with weak character. A woman who sleeps around and cheats on her husband frivously... is a turn off for a man who values good character.

You are what you eat.

 

[iqqi]

Yea, who said that? Cause it certainly wasn't me....

Well good. Then maybe you do have hope of finding a woman who doesn't cheat. Since you acknowledge that they exist.

 

[hithard]

Str8up, people, by nature, will gamble what they can afford to lose.

If a woman is with you, and you are the top, prize, man, she will not want to "gamble" and take the chance of losing you.

This is what all men need to realize. By leading the relationship in a direction where cheating is a "lose all" situation, both the man, and woman, will know what can be lost when cheating occurs.

Bottom line, if a woman cheats on you, you are either not setting firm boundaries in the relationship, or you are not the prize.

Lead the direction you want to go.

I think this is a pivotal statement why?? Because you are leading the situation.. Perhaps even creating a situation that the woman you are with is now a quality woman. The fact that she is high or low quality only matters on the effort you put out .She could have been a $2 hor (and you not aware)but now through your direction, leading or being the prize she is now satisfied enough to not look yonder. So her value has changed to quality due to your understanding of LTR dynamics.

However if you reverted into chump mode or the rules and boundaries were not ingrained in your brain and you let it slide there’s a good chance that quality woman you have turns into just another statistic. I could probably expand on this but meh.You are creating the situation in your favor. I’m sure there are women and men who have cheated in marriages and then stayed faithful with their new spouse. Due to the fact that they are a better match.

edit:This works both ways gender wise

 

[iqqi]

She could have been a $2 hor (and you not aware)but now through your direction, leading or being the prize she is now satisfied enough to not look yonder. So her value has changed to quality due to your understanding of LTR dynamics.
.

Ok, now I have to tell you. There is truth to the wise saying "You can't turn a h0 into a housewife."

Just understand that basic tenet.

 

[hithard]

Ok, now I have to tell you. There is truth to the wise saying "You can't turn a h0 into a housewife."

Just understand that basic tenet.

It’s an example of past behaviour to make a point
People’s habits are not set in stone for eternity. There are a lot out there in a rut, or mindlessly going about their business.But people do change even if it does require a fair amount of kicking and screaming.Or someone to help them along.
Im not saying make a ho your wife

 

[Mr.Positive]

My issue is that even women I have met who I would judge to be of high integrity, I get the impression that they have done things in the past they weren't proud of, and you never know when they might repeat the same behavior given the right circumstances.

Angels and devils live within all of us. All you can do is choose wisely, be a MAN, and hope for the best.

So true, however I've learned that by holding ourselves to a higher standard, we naturally attract people, who want a higher standard.

I, personally, place a lot more expectations on myself, than I do others. This shows. I've noticed, people, friends, women in particular, try to hold themselves to a higher standard because of this.

People want to deserve your company, to be worth, having the time to spend with you.

So, str8up, I hold you to a higher standard because you have helped, me, personally more than I could explain. I guess, I expect more out of you than your average poster.

Expect me to challenge you in the future for this reason.

 

[iqqi]

So true, however I've learned that by holding ourselves to a higher standard, we naturally attract people, who want a higher standard.

Gold.

 

[STR8UP]

Well good. Then maybe you do have hope of finding a woman who doesn't cheat. Since you acknowledge that they exist.

Absolutely, they do exist. Maybe they are half of the population? Maybe as a "DJ" we can reduce the potential for exposure to such a person? Maybe we can be proactive and lead the relationship into the proper direction by being a better man?

True, true, and MORE true. But you miss the point. For all of the reality that I preach which to some manifests itself as "ranting" and "negativity", we as men must understand that the odds are stacked against us having some kind of fairy tale relationship. If it happens, great. But I for one don't go to Vegas hoping to pay off my mortgage, I go with a BUDGET in mind, money I am willing to LOSE. If I walk away with more than I came with I know I got lucky, but I don't expect it.

 

[iqqi]

Absolutely, they do exist. Maybe they are half of the population? Maybe as a "DJ" we can reduce the potential for exposure to such a person? Maybe we can be proactive and lead the relationship into the proper direction by being a better man?

True, true, and MORE true. But you miss the point. For all of the reality that I preach which to some manifests itself as "ranting" and "negativity", we as men must understand that the odds are stacked against us having some kind of fairy tale relationship. If it happens, great. But I for one don't go to Vegas hoping to pay off my mortgage, I go with a BUDGET in mind, money I am willing to LOSE. If I walk away with more than I came with I know I got lucky, but I don't expect it.

Well actually once you get better at being able to tell the difference between a woman with character and one without, it becomes much less of a gamble.

The odds are only stacked against you if your pool of potentials is cast wide enough to include unsavory characters.

If you are just gambling blindly, then yeah, the odds are stacked against you. Just like Vegas.

I also disagree with the whole leading a woman to be something. You can make a good woman better, but you can't do sh!t about the low down ones. Except avoid them.

The only way a bad woman becomes good, is through her own personal growth and choices (much like what is preached here).... or god. (Said with more than a pinch of salt)...

 

[ketostix]

I think this is a pivotal statement why?? Because you are leading the situation.. Perhaps even creating a situation that the woman you are with is now a quality woman. The fact that she is high or low quality only matters on the effort you put out .She could have been a $2 hor (and you not aware)but now through your direction, leading or being the prize she is now satisfied enough to not look yonder. So her value has changed to quality due to your understanding of LTR dynamics.

However if you reverted into chump mode or the rules and boundaries were not ingrained in your brain and you let it slide there’s a good chance that quality woman you have turns into just another statistic. I could probably expand on this but meh.You are creating the situation in your favor. I’m sure there are women and men who have cheated in marriages and then stayed faithful with their new spouse. Due to the fact that they are a better match.

edit:This works both ways gender wise

This is an excellent point. I always say women are chameleons. The exact same woman can play the part of virginal angel to one man who she senses is leading her that way and play the role of "dirty" slut to the other guy(s) who lead her that way. To the first guy she's a quality woman and to the other(s) she's well something entirely else. Now the question is which kind of girl is she really?

 

[hithard]

I also disagree with the whole leading a woman to be something. You can make a good woman better, but you can't do sh!t about the low down ones. Except avoid them.

The only way a bad woman becomes good, is through her own personal growth and choices (much like what is preached here).... or god. (Said with more than a pinch of salt)...

Mmm I think you missed the whole point of the post. It wasn’t about turning lowbie hors into quality. But more that his being the prize created a situation in which she doesn’t cheat and deemed as quality. It also did not cater to women with PD either.

 

[hithard]

The whole 'people are only good or bad needs' to be dropped as well.

 

[guru1000]

But I for one don't go to Vegas hoping to pay off my mortgage, I go with a BUDGET in mind, money I am willing to LOSE. If I walk away with more than I came with I know I got lucky, but I don't expect it.

This is your PERCEPTION based on previous relationships you have had.

This is where the REAL DIFFERENCE is in our opinion.

You might have had many cheating women in your past. I have had none.

The difference between us is CHOICE.

Because my CHOICE trumped NATURE led me to GREAT relationships.

Because NATURE trumped your CHOICE led you through a trail of cheating women.

You have always had the choice to SELECT. You CHOSE not to.

Then you make a comparison of a HEALTHY relationship to the roulette table in Vegas. With those kind of odds, you are already doomed to failure.

Hey ROLLO, do you hear this? File for a divorce; STR*UP feels it 1:32 your marriage will work!

See how ridiculous your comparison and thinking are.

Why do we have such conflicting opinions? Very simple. PERCEPTION.

If I indulged in your past experiences, I would have a JADED view as well.

So should I choose your VEGAS advice and share your jaded perception or continue to CHOOSE who I spend my time with.

 

[iqqi]

The difference between us is CHOICE.

Because my CHOICE trumped NATURE led me to GREAT relationships.

Because NATURE trumped your CHOICE led you through a trail of cheating women.

You have always had the choice to SELECT. You CHOSE not to.

Scoooore.