The Hot Guy Myth

[Gamisch]

Good, very good points.
How to be aware of your look?
This would be the ultimate thing, to know who you are, where you would fit, and to increase your life wellbeing.
We have so many distorted view about ourselves, which make us lose the most precious thing we have in life: time.

the obvious answer is the (physical)mirror.


The deeper answer is the mental mirror. The easy way is to simply be aware of what YOU would be able to look and use a celebrity for example.

See, we shyte on women and all that, but ever wondered how the blonde cute hb8 carries herself with the arrogant demeanor liie she is indeed an hb8? Because she looks in the mirror every 3 seconds, and she KNOWS she looks like..._fill in famous actress _ . A woman = a woman. All the clothes, make up, colognes ect are available for all of them. Same with us men. Famous actor has two legs and arms, one head and he must also work out to look in shape

As a man you can run the same game "copy paste game " as women do. If you are black for example , you may wanna use prime Tyrese as your example. If you are Latin perhaps that bad Bunny rapper. If you are white perhaps you use Brad or Thor or the older more sophisticated look like Russell Brand as your favorite example. Will you ever look just like them? No. But if you aim high,even your bad shot might hit higher than when you aim low.

See, it takes brutal honesty towards oneself. Most men use women's opinions to evaluate themselves, as in how much success do I get? The issue with this is that a somewhat insecure man can meet TWO women (on OLD) who are " unsure" about him, thus digging himself further and deeper into the abyss of insecurity and self doubt.

At some point you might be at your peak, but " that one Stacy "STILL doesn't like you. When that happens you should be so confident in your own qualities that any rejection leaves you unfazed, and you simply carry on fine tuning your body, mind, heart and soul.

Because you can be a smv10, if you feel like a smv5 then that's how people will treat you.

 

[Gamisch]

Good, very good points.
How to be aware of your look?
This would be the ultimate thing, to know who you are, where you would fit, and to increase your life wellbeing.
We have so many distorted view about ourselves, which make us lose the most precious thing we have in life: time.

Knowing who you are has little to do with your looks. Its connected ,but especially for men its is no end all be all solution or answer . See, a cute girl can go to the bar alone and at some point a man will approach her and make conversation. A man on the other hand ..you can be Thor, and still no woman will go any further than giving you a glance here and there.

How you look oftentimes is a reflection of how you feel ( about yourself). If you feel like you are worth it to put in work, you will.

See, most men feel like they are unworthy and only wanna improve themselves to get respected by a woman. E.g a man wont clean untill a woman comes over. So he says that HE is less important than HER. He can be a pig, but she must be treated like a queen. Wouldn't it be easier to move like a King, and yeah, when the time comes to automatically treat her like a queen and se if SHE can meet YOUR expectations???

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

For this reason I cannot stress enough to understand:
Until you can see yourself from the female perspective, you cannot judge the 'hotness' of your looks.
How do we learn to do it?

Who do you admire for their fashion sense?

Before I retired, I dressed unobtrusively, as my job required blending in. I did date a few fashion models and accompanied them on photo shoots, where I would listen to the fashionistas talking passionately about fashion and style.
Good fashion style fits well and fits with who you are. We identify people with style not because we'd wear whatever they wear, but because their style fits them. We can take elements of other people's styles if we like them and if they fit with your character/personality as well. You can't just mimic someone else's style, you have to make your own style and own it, otherwise it looks like you, ahem, copied your style.

After I retired and became a stay-at-home-dad, I started wearing what I liked to wear, without caring what other people might think. I don't need to 'blend in' anymore, so I put my earrings back in and grew my beard. And I had to cover my light-sensitive damaged left eye with a patch, so I stuck out anywhere anyway.



Women compliment me often on my style, because it's congruent with who I am as a person, so everything fits together while still setting me apart at the same time. And that is actually how I am -- I'm part of the art community, but I feel mostly like an outsider or spectator. And I like that. I'm an Einzelgänger, I follow my own path, I'm not part of anything, so I can enter everywhere. My clothes reflect that. I'm a (combat) pragmatist and most items I wear or carry have multiple purposes, often practical without looking too tactical. I draw inspiration mostly from rock stars like Keith Richards and some elements from the Steampunk style.

Example is my leather waistcoat, which acts like a 'purse' which holds my phone, wallet and vaporiser. It's comfortable to wear in the heat and when it's cold it fits neatly under my coat. The tactical part is that the leather is also thick enough to stop a knife, but light enough not to inhibit movement.



Same goes for my leather 'steampunk' cuff with my Steinhart watch, which can also be used to deflect blades, opening opportunities for the dagger in my right hand.



Another thing about my style is that IDGAF about other people opinions about what I wear. While women compliment me with my style, most men wouldn't dress like me and/or think I look ridiculous.
And that is the difference between the male gaze and the female gaze:
Most men on this forum want to 'dress to impress' and don't like my outfit, because my clothes don't reflect a particular status or affluence which these men consider important to become attractive to the ladies. They take their stylistic cues from 'smooth seducers' like James Bond. Bespoke suits, some bling to show affluence, a gentleman who will turn into a beast in bed.
Women, on the other hand, think my outfits look stylish because they fit seamlessly with my personality. And they are attracted to me because my outfit reflect my IDGAF attitude, which is a trait they often fantasise about. Add in my kinky side and women know that I'm an animal in the bedroom. Some called me a 'dark gentleman'.
Both men and women look at the same person, but their sexual orientation decides whether I'm attractive or not. Only women (and some gay men) are attracted to me, but most straight men would consider my style to be unattractive.

 

[jhonny9546]

the obvious answer is the (physical)mirror.


The deeper answer is the mental mirror. The easy way is to simply be aware of what YOU would be able to look and use a celebrity for example.

See, we shyte on women and all that, but ever wondered how the blonde cute hb8 carries herself with the arrogant demeanor liie she is indeed an hb8? Because she looks in the mirror every 3 seconds, and she KNOWS she looks like..._fill in famous actress _ . A woman = a woman. All the clothes, make up, colognes ect are available for all of them. Same with us men. Famous actor has two legs and arms, one head and he must also work out to look in shape

As a man you can run the same game "copy paste game " as women do. If you are black for example , you may wanna use prime Tyrese as your example. If you are Latin perhaps that bad Bunny rapper. If you are white perhaps you use Brad or Thor or the older more sophisticated look like Russell Brand as your favorite example. Will you ever look just like them? No. But if you aim high,even your bad shot might hit higher than when you aim low.

See, it takes brutal honesty towards oneself. Most men use women's opinions to evaluate themselves, as in how much success do I get? The issue with this is that a somewhat insecure man can meet TWO women (on OLD) who are " unsure" about him, thus digging himself further and deeper into the abyss of insecurity and self doubt.

At some point you might be at your peak, but " that one Stacy "STILL doesn't like you. When that happens you should be so confident in your own qualities that any rejection leaves you unfazed, and you simply carry on fine tuning your body, mind, heart and soul.

Because you can be a smv10, if you feel like a smv5 then that's how people will treat you.

In this case, we should pick someone which resemblance to our phenotype and try to "copy" him.

Who do you admire for their fashion sense?

Before I retired, I dressed unobtrusively, as my job required blending in. I did date a few fashion models and accompanied them on photo shoots, where I would listen to the fashionistas talking passionately about fashion and style.
Good fashion style fits well and fits with who you are. We identify people with style not because we'd wear whatever they wear, but because their style fits them. We can take elements of other people's styles if we like them and if they fit with your character/personality as well. You can't just mimic someone else's style, you have to make your own style and own it, otherwise it looks like you, ahem, copied your style.

After I retired and became a stay-at-home-dad, I started wearing what I liked to wear, without caring what other people might think. I don't need to 'blend in' anymore, so I put my earrings back in and grew my beard. And I had to cover my light-sensitive damaged left eye with a patch, so I stuck out anywhere anyway.

View attachment 12499

Women compliment me often on my style, because it's congruent with who I am as a person, so everything fits together while still setting me apart at the same time. And that is actually how I am -- I'm part of the art community, but I feel mostly like an outsider or spectator. And I like that. I'm an Einzelgänger, I follow my own path, I'm not part of anything, so I can enter everywhere. My clothes reflect that. I'm a (combat) pragmatist and most items I wear or carry have multiple purposes, often practical without looking too tactical. I draw inspiration mostly from rock stars like Keith Richards and some elements from the Steampunk style.

Example is my leather waistcoat, which acts like a 'purse' which holds my phone, wallet and vaporiser. It's comfortable to wear in the heat and when it's cold it fits neatly under my coat. The tactical part is that the leather is also thick enough to stop a knife, but light enough not to inhibit movement.

View attachment 12500

Same goes for my leather 'steampunk' cuff with my Steinhart watch, which can also be used to deflect blades, opening opportunities for the dagger in my right hand.

View attachment 12501

Another thing about my style is that IDGAF about other people opinions about what I wear. While women compliment me with my style, most men wouldn't dress like me and/or think I look ridiculous.
And that is the difference between the male gaze and the female gaze:
Most men on this forum want to 'dress to impress' and don't like my outfit, because my clothes don't reflect a particular status or affluence which these men consider important to become attractive to the ladies. They take their stylistic cues from 'smooth seducers' like James Bond. Bespoke suits, some bling to show affluence, a gentleman who will turn into a beast in bed.
Women, on the other hand, think my outfits look stylish because they fit seamlessly with my personality. And they are attracted to me because my outfit reflect my IDGAF attitude, which is a trait they often fantasise about. Add in my kinky side and women know that I'm an animal in the bedroom. Some called me a 'dark gentleman'.
Both men and women look at the same person, but their sexual orientation decides whether I'm attractive or not. Only women (and some gay men) are attracted to me, but most straight men would consider my style to be unattractive.

Nice point. I think that picking up a style, and an idol its a good starting point.
Then you have to customize it for you.
Why the James Bond archetype is not good from your perspective?

Also, those two answers don't directly to the main question, "How can we really see who we are, where we would fit"


And by this I mean that if we are 6ft6 tall, we might want to enter basketball team instead of riding a motorcycle, or if we are 5ft4, we should not play basketball. This is an easy example of something we still do wrong in real life, with our behaviour.
How do we recognize that?

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

Why the James Bond archetype is not good from your perspective?

From my perspective it would attract a kind of woman I do not want to attract.

Also, those two answers don't directly to the main question, "How can we really see who we are, where we would fit"

I don't know what you look like and your passions.

You see what I look like and my passion is artistic / creative. My style is congruent with my personality. If you think in archetypes, I'm an 'Artist'.

Most guys here want to be a suave seducer like James Bond, so their style should be 'Gentleman', i.e. bespoke suits, a Rolex Submariner, smooth but aloof personality, pursuing trophy women.

 

[NealIRC]

I used to go to a lot of parties with this girl. We went to this one party and she pointed out this guy that she thought was hot. She said that she thought he was hotter that Idris Elba. So I asked her if she could sleep with him right now would she do it? She said yes. My friend didn’t know that I knew that guy. When she went to go to the bathroom I went over to him and told him that my friend wants to do him. He said he was down. When she came out the bathroom and I told her she didn’t believe me at first. Then I started pointing her in his direction and he was looking over at us and gesturing her to come over to him. To make a long story short this hot guy wanted to do her and she didn’t do him. She was talking all this stuff and she didn’t have sex with him.

How did she 1st meet this guy crush, at this party? She seen him interact before?

 

[jhonny9546]

From my perspective it would attract a kind of woman I do not want to attract.


I don't know what you look like and your passions.

You see what I look like and my passion is artistic / creative. My style is congruent with my personality. If you think in archetypes, I'm an 'Artist'.

Most guys here want to be a suave seducer like James Bond, so their style should be 'Gentleman', i.e. bespoke suits, a Rolex Submariner, smooth but aloof personality, pursuing trophy women.

How do you differ as artist archetype? It would be interesting to know an artist "outfit" example

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

How do you differ as artist archetype? It would be interesting to know an artist "outfit" example

 

[NealIRC]

@BeExcellent look who's lookin good ^

 

[NealIRC]

How did she 1st meet this guy crush, at this party? She seen him interact before?

Ok, I looked into why OP did not answer my q... This thread is 11 years old, and OP is banned...

I can confirm this is so real.
There is an ugly men I know that after 10 min about He enters the room, every girl is laughing at everything He is saying, even the worse quote. Women would laugh and also validate him saying this such as "You have chosen a wrong career path: You should be a comedian". Btw, one thing I've noticed is that He rarely do big laugh or normal laughing.
What is the real psicology about this? This guy is not so actractive, but it also may could be that he is ugly to womens eyes.
Does he have some sort of skill that allow a sort of HALO effect on him?
You won't trust me if I say that women will need to pee when they are with him because can't stop laughing?

And @BackInTheGame78 didn't catch that this 1 bumped this thread and so @Dr.Suave

Back to what I intended to say.

I used to go to a lot of parties with this girl. We went to this one party and she pointed out this guy that she thought was hot. She said that she thought he was hotter that Idris Elba. So I asked her if she could sleep with him right now would she do it? She said yes. My friend didn’t know that I knew that guy. When she went to go to the bathroom I went over to him and told him that my friend wants to do him. He said he was down. When she came out the bathroom and I told her she didn’t believe me at first. Then I started pointing her in his direction and he was looking over at us and gesturing her to come over to him. To make a long story short this hot guy wanted to do her and she didn’t do him. She was talking all this stuff and she didn’t have sex with him.

So seems there is a reason the girl no longer wanted to have sex with the guy. Is that from the guy being told she wants to, then he didn't chase her for the sex. So now the girl lost interest because he didn't chase/pursue her for it.

Boy I gotta collect more stories like this.