The Hot Guy Myth

[Manure Spherian]

Then I’m mistaken because when I think “game,” I think jestermaxxing.

From my observation and experience, POWER trumps all other factors in attractiveness.

Example. It such a character were a real-life person he would have more women than he would know what to do with. Not a “hot guy”. No gymmaxxing, no shaving, no hair procedures required. But he would be able to MOG nearly all men.

 

[The Duke]

You don't know something matters until you posess that quality.

When I first started dating girls, it was a struggle. My 1st date to 2nd date conversion rate was probably 50%. Why? Because my seduction skills, flirting skills, socializing skills, and connecting with women skills were lacking. All those areas that are a part of personality weren't where they needed to be. Once I improved in those areas, I became more successful.

Now days I'm older. I'm in better shape than when I was younger, but my skin is showing some age and I'm uglier than I used to be. Yet dating has never been easier than it is now. My 1st date to 2nd date conversion rate these days is 95%.

So you are going to tell me that Looks is all that matters? If your personality is lacking, thats probably a true statement from your perspective. I've never been that guy that could just stand there and rely on his looks and girls approach on a regular basis. It happens but not often.

At the end of the day it all matters. Women are attracted by a wide array of things and AMEN for that.

Like him or not, there is one guy on this forum that has a lot of personality, doesn't fear what people think, confident, and lives life on his terms. All of those traits women find attractive. Its the guy with the eye patch and a cat on his shoulder. ;-) His looks arent carrying the day for him, its all about his attitude and personality. He gets what he wants out of life. Women get turned on by men like that. Be BOLD.

 

[Manure Spherian]

You don't know something matters until you posess that quality.

When I first started dating girls, it was a struggle. My 1st date to 2nd date conversion rate was probably 50%. Why? Because my seduction skills, flirting skills, socializing skills, and connecting with women skills were lacking. All those areas that are apart of personality weren't where they needed to be. Once I improved in those areas, I became more successful.

Now days I'm older. I'm in better shape than when I was younger, but my skin is showing some age and I'm uglier than I used to be. Yet dating has never been easier than it is now. My 1st date to 2nd date conversion rate these days is 95%.

So you are going to tell me that Looks is all that matters? If your personality is lacking, thats probably a true statement from your perspective. I've never been that guy that could just stand there and rely on his looks and girls approach on a regular basis. It happens but not often.

At the end of the day it all matters. Women are attracted by a wide array of things and AMEN for that.

Like him or not, there is one guy on this forum that has a lot of personality, doesn't fear what people think, confident, and lives life on his terms. All of those traits women find attractive. Its the guy with the eye patch and a cat on his shoulder. ;-) His looks arent carrying the day for him, its all about his attitude and personality. He gets what he wants out of life. Women get turned on by men like that. Be BOLD.

Very good post!

I think when people say certain things don’t matter or some things are of such importance is because with the former, they don’t have those things, and with the latter, they do have those things.

For example, a surgeon who has his pick of the litter just going to work everyday (no clubbing or traveling required) is just a nerd who women like for his money. And a chubby guy with a woman is SUPPOSEDLY getting cheated on because muscularity is so important (it could not possibly be he has something else going on), some muscled guys will say.

Ask an outlaw biker, a drug dealer, a mafiosi, a CEO, or a surgeon if status doesn’t matter. Ask a rich boy if his lineage doesn’t matter. Ask a pretty boy if looks don’t matter. Lol. Who people kidding when they such doesn’t matter. And as I said, I’ve read that those who exploit such characteristics could be “making up” for what they don’t have (eg, game, behavior, whatever). Meanwhile the end result for such different people is the same: attracting women.

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

Like him or not, there is one guy on this forum that has a lot of personality, doesn't fear what people think, confident, and lives life on his terms. All of those traits women find attractive. Its the guy with the eye patch and a cat on his shoulder. ;-) His looks arent carrying the day for him, its all about his attitude and personality. He gets what he wants out of life. Women get turned on by men like that. Be BOLD.

Should I be offended? I know how to read your love between the lines, so I'll let it slide.

 

[CornbreadFed]

Looks matter, but the issue is that we think women are hyper fixated on the Chad/Giga Chad look when women have different preferences other than a jawline and hunter eyes. Furthermore, they are hyper fixated on a particular type of girl that chases those types of guys. Men are more obsessed with the Chad look than women are IMHO. As long as you don't look like a slob and act like a bitter black pill incel or socially inept, you will find a woman that finds you attractive. No, you might not get every women or the bar/Miami girl sloot y'all keep obsessing, so open your eyes and escape the stupid Pill Echo chamber.

The vast majority of men I see out with women do not fit in the Giga Chad category whatsoever. However, I am sure y'all pill swallowers have some cope excuse for that, so I will leave it at that.

 

[p_1337]

While I believe being "objectively attractive" (i.e. relatively tall with pleasing facial aesthetics) and building a solid physical appearance (i.e. being physically fit and dressing well) will more often help you (most importantly helping to build your confidence)-- I don't think being perceived as "hot" is some kind of cheat code that's going to make every woman lust for you sight unseen. While women definitely appreciate a good-looking man, they just aren't wired the same way.

I've also personally heard from women + reading a large number of anecdotal evidence, that they will intentionally reject or not move forward if they think a man is too good looking. While it's all relative, their mindset typically falls into one or both of the reasons below:

- They think he will be far more likely to cheat (this appears to be the most prevalent reason).
- They see it as a power move / think he's "too good" for them and will essentially disqualify themselves.

In summary:
Good looks will increase your confidence and allow more women to be receptive to your advances / not think you're a creep from the jump.

For men, I strongly believe the closest thing to having "unlimited" sexual access (akin to the average woman) is via celebrity status-- and even famous men deal with a tremendous amount of female bs.

 

[Gamisch]

I agree with the OP. I've said it before ; being a hot guy (or the hottest version you can be) isn't a guarantee you'll attract women. Yes, over a 10 years timespan there most probably be a woman who throws herself at you. And you'll get some matches on OLD. But it wont be like floodgates opening up.

Personality is what matters much , much more. You'd be surprised to hear how many objectively goodlooking incels there are, with great careers. The gymcel is another logical phenomenon and example .


Being hot AND having the skill to close the gap puts a man in "feckboy territory " real quick. The trick is to actually be aware of your looks and act accordingly.

 

[Gamisch]

Looks matter, but the issue is that we think women are hyper fixated on the Chad/Giga Chad look when women have different preferences other than a jawline and hunter eyes. Furthermore, they are hyper fixated on a particular type of girl that chases those types of guys. Men are more obsessed with the Chad look than women are IMHO. As long as you don't look like a slob and act like a bitter black pill incel or socially inept, you will find a woman that finds you attractive. No, you might not get every women or the bar/Miami girl sloot y'all keep obsessing, so open your eyes and escape the stupid Pill Echo chamber.

The vast majority of men I see out with women do not fit in the Giga Chad category whatsoever. However, I am sure y'all pill swallowers have some cope excuse for that, so I will leave it at that.

Really important thing thats not highlighted enough imo. Pookie rayray is a type, but simultaneously there's this mysterious female type that doesn't even have a name yet!! But still it's the same type of woman we all want. Whether she's black, white Latina or Asian doesn't matter. It's the type who brought nothing but trouble to 101,1 % of men...

This is related to my date down thread. Some men will value something easily obtainable like a " hot azz" like it's worth daimond. Let's just say that most dudes will prefer a hot azz over a cool personality. While the former can be obtained in a matter of months , and the latter is MUCH harder to get and maintain.

I also agree with the statement that you don't have to look like Thor to get a decent woman .

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

Being hot AND having the skill to close the gap puts a man in "feckboy territory " real quick. The trick is to actually be aware of your looks talent and value and act accordingly.

Minor correction.

You will never be truly aware of your looks. Yes, you can look in the mirror, but you don't look with the female gaze. So any assessment of a 'hot' guy by a man is flawed from the beginning. You can be built like Adonis and feel like you look so much better than other men, but somehow women find someone attractive who rarely if ever sees a gym. You can have a more glorious mane of hair than Brad Pitt and you see bald guys walking away with attractive girls who don't pay attention to your hair flips.

Until you can see yourself from the female perspective, you cannot judge the 'hotness' of your looks.

 

[Gamisch]

Minor correction.

You will never be truly aware of your looks. Yes, you can look in the mirror, but you don't look with the female gaze. So any assessment of a 'hot' guy by a man is flawed from the beginning. You can be built like Adonis and feel like you look so much better than other men, but somehow women find someone attractive who rarely if ever sees a gym. You can have a more glorious mane of hair than Brad Pitt and you see bald guys walking away with attractive girls who don't pay attention to your hair flips.

Until you can see yourself from the female perspective, you cannot judge the 'hotness' of your looks.

Oke you do have a good point there. But the "female gaze " ,isn't that something that a man also starts to understand when he spent enough time around women?

Let me add this to my theory ; a man gotta be as hot as HE possibly can be at that particular moment in time. There will be many limitations to how hot one can be such as genetics, age ect, but what's within our control is how we maxxx it all out.

If a man did everything he could to look at his best, focus can be shifted more on inner work (personality ,character, addressing fears and destructive self beliefs).

Looking your best is just a matter of taking action. Personally I feel much better when I know I am looking at my best. Gives me mentally more room to show my personality, the looks are just lubrication.

 

[BadBoy89]

In general, personality attributes matter the least with seduction.

+1.

This should be the title of Sosuave.

One of my friends is a 6'4" male that is now married. Before getting married, he was actively seducing. He put up a triple digit notch count with verbal game that was average at best. Looks and status (former NCAA athlete) carried him.

+2

Another title of Sosuave.

One of the issues with Sosuave is alot of the advice relates to the 1950s. Not that a man shouldn't work on himself and improve, but its been said here many many times, and its what frustrating the incels, the black pill community, the red pill community, or whatever community there is.

In regards to sex and babies, the women choose men based on their genetic quality. The want their offspring to be Hercules with great cheekbones and great hair. In regards to security and protection, they want the man with the money and resources. It's called Dualistic Mating Strategy. It's been said over and over again.

 

[SW15]

At the end of the day it all matters. Women are attracted by a wide array of things and AMEN for that.

We agree on this. I've said that Game is a combination of looks, money, status, and personality. While I think looks are Number 1, the other factors can offset looks to some degree.

When I first started dating girls, it was a struggle. My 1st date to 2nd date conversion rate was probably 50%. Why? Because my seduction skills, flirting skills, socializing skills, and connecting with women skills were lacking. All those areas that are a part of personality weren't where they needed to be. Once I improved in those areas, I became more successful.

Your starting point wasn't too bad in converting first dates into second dates. Not everyone cares about getting second dates. Guys with a Thrill of the Hunt inclination who aren't motivated by relationships don't care as much about getting the 2nd date. Men who have a desire for some kind of extended relationship would care about getting second dates. The men who are seeking some type of extended relationship are not getting sex as frequently on first dates, in part because that is less of a goal for them.

Any guy interested in longevity would have liked 50% of first dates to convert to second dates, especially if reliant upon tech-based methods.

Now days I'm older. I'm in better shape than when I was younger, but my skin is showing some age and I'm uglier than I used to be. Yet dating has never been easier than it is now. My 1st date to 2nd date conversion rate these days is 95%.

So you are going to tell me that Looks is all that matters? If your personality is lacking, thats probably a true statement from your perspective. I've never been that guy that could just stand there and rely on his looks and girls approach on a regular basis. It happens but not often.

Going from 50% to 95% in getting 2nd dates is good if that metric matters. It could be your personality is the most effective part of your Game mixture.

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

Looking your best is just a matter of taking action. Personally I feel much better when I know I am looking at my best. Gives me mentally more room to show my personality, the looks are just lubrication.

Absolutely.

We all know how women can take ages to get ready to go out: hair, clothes, make-up, perfume. And before that the waxing and scrubbing and shaving and peeling of skin and the plucking of facial hair. And the monthly visits to the hair salons.
Meanwhile, most men come from work and just change their shirt and go out smelling ripe with greasy hair.

While I don't advocate going 'Patrick Bateman Beauty Regime', the least men can do is do half of what women do to look good. Just take a shower, wear clean clothes, trim your nails and your facial hair, just max out your looks by grooming. This used to be normal, but apparently men have to be told now to put some effort to look more attractive to women.

 

[Hamurabimbi]

The vast majority of men are not HGs.

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

The vast majority of men are not HGs.

Some can still become...

 

[jhonny9546]

Christ here we go

Yes if you are a 6 or below don't even bother

If you're hot don't even try, just stand in a corner and be timid

What do you mean?

 

[jhonny9546]

The trick is to actually be aware of your looks and act accordingly.

Minor correction.

You will never be truly aware of your looks. Yes, you can look in the mirror, but you don't look with the female gaze. So any assessment of a 'hot' guy by a man is flawed from the beginning. You can be built like Adonis and feel like you look so much better than other men, but somehow women find someone attractive who rarely if ever sees a gym. You can have a more glorious mane of hair than Brad Pitt and you see bald guys walking away with attractive girls who don't pay attention to your hair flips.

Until you can see yourself from the female perspective, you cannot judge the 'hotness' of your looks.

Good, very good points.
How to be aware of your look?
This would be the ultimate thing, to know who you are, where you would fit, and to increase your life wellbeing.
We have so many distorted view about ourselves, which make us lose the most precious thing we have in life: time.

 

[Millard Fillmore]

What do you mean?

I was just being sarcastic. You can be a hot guy and just stand around waiting for girls to approach, but it won't be frequent, and the women will vary in personality and looks. A lot of crazies and mids/uglies are more willing to throw themselves at a guy. Beautiful women just don't put themselves out there (exception: celebrity status).

Luckily women are pretty flexible when it comes to physical appearance. Most men would just rather hate on the Chad boogeyman than put in the daily work of being attractive all around.

 

[CornbreadFed]

Luckily women are pretty flexible when it comes to physical appearance. Most men would just rather hate on the Chad boogeyman than put in the daily work of being attractive all around.

Statement of the year right here!!

 

[jhonny9546]

For this reason I cannot stress enough to understand:

The trick is to actually be aware of your looks and act accordingly.

and

You will never be truly aware of your looks. Yes, you can look in the mirror, but you don't look with the female gaze. So any assessment of a 'hot' guy by a man is flawed from the beginning. You can be built like Adonis and feel like you look so much better than other men, but somehow women find someone attractive who rarely if ever sees a gym. You can have a more glorious mane of hair than Brad Pitt and you see bald guys walking away with attractive girls who don't pay attention to your hair flips.

Until you can see yourself from the female perspective, you cannot judge the 'hotness' of your looks.


How do we learn to do it?