The Harshest Lesson/s Life Taught You (so far)

[AmsterdamAssassin]

I let myself go.

Why? What happened? Depression? Sickness?

 

[Hamurabimbi]

I don't understand someone letting themselves go. It's a physical world. Wouldn't you want to look good for yourself first and foremost?

Blue pilled. Married.

 

[Hamurabimbi]

Why? What happened? Depression? Sickness?

Blue pilled. being lazy & married.

 

[BaronOfHair]

That most people you consider your "friends" are only there during the good times and when you are at your lowest point and really need them, most will be nowhere to be found

In that vein:

-Much of what you "know' at any given moment ain't quite so... Our perceptions of reality are colored by pre-existing thoughts and beliefs, most of which we're not even conscious of. This includes our perceptions of who are friends are, and aren't

-Since "friends" aren't always reliable, creating a vibrant social network is imperative
https://www.gsb.stanford.edu/insights/ten-tips-building-stronger-networks-work-life Though we have more avenues for doing so today than at anytime in history, we also live in a world filled with more distractions than ever before, many of which can lead us into investing in activities which ultimately yield very little in the way of material benefits. You'll have to constantly resist the urge to bingewatch the latest Star Wars series on Disney+, just so you can spend several weeks groaning over it's awfulness in the comments section on Midnight's Edge's channel, all the while indulging in the fantasy that this is the same as "networking" out in reality

 

[RickTheToad]

As the title says.

For myself, after having lived at least two decades, with obviously still having very little to show for it, I reckon that sickness does tell you how short life really is (in my case, it nags me everyday). The more I learned about my disorder and being in a third-world country and needing to establish my own generational wealth (for my parents came from not-so-off households), the more I realize how much harder the challenges I have to face really are. The more reality hits me, the more I feel like I'm in purgatory, forced to compromise focusing on my health with making the most of college (this may be my last year or two before proceeding to a Master's degree).

I still consider myself lucky, but apparently my luck is not enough, and even hard work is not enough. I have a clear direction with where I want to go, but I need more long-term strategy in my life, in facing the unknown, and this is where I lack. Financially, it seems I need a miracle.

There are also some truths which beg my more immediate acceptance, but I guess the values and principles I grew up in and made me who I am, still hold me back.

What about yours? Which failures challenged you the most, and how did you change along the way, and what did you go through to accept the new reality?

When you are at your lowest point in your life, you truly only have one person who will support you: you. A person, male or female, must know how to adapt and pivot for survival in our world. The gov't may or may not eventually give you a lifeline, but in the end, it's you and you alone. It's imperative that you, as a dude, know how to handle different situations and how to pivot your life to ensure your own survival. Think and act with logic, not emotion.

Worry about setting up your base and fortress of solitude, and then grow from there. You will never know your true limits until you are tested.

Stay hungry, stay aware. Don't show off.

 

[Nitrozv20]

Falling out of my integrity and getting involved with a married woman. I had so little self respect.

 

[HaleyBaron]

Girls live life on easy mode. Even if homeless, someone will save them.

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

Girls live life on easy mode. Even if homeless, someone will save them.

Your date for this evening:

 

[Scaramouche]

Girls live life on easy mode. Even if homeless, someone will save them.

Hi Haley,
Quite understand and even empathise with your thoughts,but having seen so many lives live out their passage....believe me the female of the Species pays for all her early privileges...Giving Birth and looking after ankle biters for say ten years is no picnic!

 

[Scaramouche]

Falling out of my integrity and getting involved with a married woman. I had so little self respect.

Hi Nitrozv,
Don't be too tough on yourself,you were obeying a primal urge...John Paul the murdered Pope,said that of all the Sins those of a carnal nature were the easiest to forgive.

 

[Manure Spherian]

he’s shredded on a yacht

Hence it’s easy for him to say that. So long as he is not Quasimodo or socially stunted (and no man who owns a yacht is) a man who owns a yacht will have to fight women off!

What do you mean by chase specifically?

 

[BillyPilgrim]

That the light when you die is designed to draw you back in to another round of purgatory.

Basically, you have to go very far out of your way for any kind of meaningful transcendence.

 

[BaronOfHair]

Much of what makes us "feel" better temporarily doesn't actually makes us better, psychologically or materially. In fact, it's this crap that saps us of our invigoration on a personal level, and keeps us static on a social level

 

[corrector]

Take out money from your line of credit before the bank can reduce it. If the bank can screw you then it will.

 

[RickTheToad]

No one is really going to look out for you in life, except you.

Always keep at lease a year in savings or secure assets (gold, silver, palladium, etc). Keep at least 5k in cash in case you lose access to your online banking.

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

Hence it’s easy for him to say that. So long as he is not Quasimodo or socially stunted (and no man who owns a yacht is) a man who owns a yacht will have to fight women off!

 

[Chow Mein]

Hi Haley,
Quite understand and even empathise with your thoughts,but having seen so many lives live out their passage....believe me the female of the Species pays for all her early privileges...Giving Birth and looking after ankle biters for say ten years is no picnic!

This post deserves its place in the Hall of Excellence. Could not be more true on how men should be living their lives. Don’t twist an ankle getting out of bed tomorrow, gramps

 

[RangerMIke]

Never buy anything that is being sold over the phone.

Abandon bad habits (gambling, too much drinking, drugs, smoking) and adopt good ones (exercise and eating right).

Don't pay for college unless you are studying something that requires professional certification (i.e. engineering, law, medicine, or plan on teaching, or any job that REQUIRES a degree)

The most important thing you can do in life is build a professional network. If you took all the money in the USA, and divided it up evenly between all citizens, and you otherwise did not change the socioeconomic model. In 10 years, all the money will be go back to the top 10%. This will happen because wealthy people have a network.

If an investment is too good to be true, then it is.

Over the top religious people cannot be trusted.

Don't talk too much... actively listen to everything.

If a business competitor is making a mistake... then let them. You do not have to do anything to win out, they will beat themselves.

Never underbid anything, every bid MUST come with an acceptable profit margin.

Never buy a house that is more than you actually need.

Be careful with emotional decision making.

Never take on personal debt unless it is something you absolutely need.

Never take on business debt unless that debt actually increases profitability and/or cash flow.

Start saving as soon as you can... your savings should be a non-negotiable expense. Save and invest 8% of your pay. Even if someone did this making minimum wage at 21, and never got a raise, and ONLY invested in conservative safe instruments, by the time they are ready to retire at 65 they can wrap their savings into a conservative 20-year annuity and make $2,000 a month.

One day you will be old... plan for when you are old. The only other thing that can happen is that you will be dead. I am amazed by old people who are struggling, living on a pathetic Social Security payment... I mean what the FVCK did they think would happen? You see these people standing with the support of a walker, working at Walmart as a greeter.

Never argue with idiots.... it is a waste of time.

No amount of money ever bought a second of time. Time is your most valuable resource.

Just because someone is family does not mean they are good people and can be trusted.

Be patient... all the best things take time.

If you are feeling chronic negative emotion too much, you are on the wrong path.

Bad news does not get better with time. When bad things happen, it MUST be dealt with as quickly and efficiently as possible.

Do not procrastinate... if something needs to be done, or a decision needs to be made, do not over analyze.

Don't assume anything. Every decision you make you MUST consider the worst possible thing that can happen and have plan for dealing with sh1t that goes sideways. No one should ever be completely surprised by negative ramifications.

Sometimes doing nothing is the best decision you can make.

All things being equal... trust your gut. When I look back on my life and suffered the ramification of a bad decision, almost 90% of the time I did not trust my initial instinct.

If someone calls you an @sshole, what they are saying is that you put yourself first... don't worry about that. Everyone should ALWAYS put themselves first... you are no good to anyone if you are a mess. That doesn't mean you have to be intentionally rude and obnoxious unless you are being pushed to sacrifice for others at your expense with no appreciable benefit.

 

[Mike32ct]

1. Internships are very important for a lot of college majors when it comes to landing a job after. Perhaps even more important than your grades.

2. Talent is everything. You either have it for a given type of work (or hobby), or you don’t. You can’t “outwork” or “out grind” your way around a lack of talent no matter what the motivational gurus say. You’ll burn yourself out and barely reach “average.” Be honest with yourself about what you’re naturally good at and what you suck at. And adjust accordingly. It’s ok.

 

[Solomon]

There is levels of friendship- You may treat someone as a best friend but they view you as an acquaintance it's important to understand. Just because someone pops bottles with you and goes to the club doesn't mean they want to get to know you on a deeper level. A lot of people are ok with surface-level relationships that suit them. Most people aren't hanging out with you out of the goodness of their hearts after a certain age (usually in your 20s or 30s) most people hang out with you cause you bring something whether it's money, status, or heck just your presence when they don't wanna be alone. Also friendship levels can and will change for example a person could be your best friend in high school/college but as time and life goes on they or you downgrade the friendship to a point where you become a stranger. The two guys I considered my best friends in my 20s, I don't even talk to them in my 40s. The friendship didn't have a falling out it's that things changed on how they prioritized the friendship-, also marriage and family etc. Realize that there is only so much you can do, if a person doesn't want to be friends or values the friendship anymore just move on. It does suck especially if you made good memories but realize sometimes people change.

The word "friend" IMO has lost it's meaning IMO friendships were stronger in the 80s and 90s now most friendships are based on "what can you do for me" or for social media post. Heck you have people in the same friend group or who call themselves friends but when the other person isn't around they talk about them, I've seen this. There are a lot of things I could say about friendships and fake friends but the most important part is to recognize where you're at

You can help someone become wealthy by giving them something that can give their business a breakthrough or helping them find that missing piece of the puzzle to help their business skyrocket i.e. network them with a potential business partner, give them advice to help their profit margins etc. Understand that when that person "Changes" with success it's not that they "let the money change them" the money or success only exposed them for who they already are it just amplfies it. There lot of people who are opprortunists don't expect people to return the favor when you're down. Understand if you help someone do it from the goodness of your heart don't expect them to help you when your down, sounds messed up but success really makes certain people act prideful or exposes them that they were never a friend to begin with.