The girlfriends ex

[Lost In Translation]

It's not often you see a happy ending on sosuave

and they lived happily every after

THE END

makes me wanna trade a few booty call chicks in for a real legit girlfriend...

at this very second i miss having a girlfriend to keep in line

*sigh*

ah to be young and in love


Lost In Translation

**AUSTRALIAN STREET PIMP**

" stop being insecure " i hate that saying. it's a cop out for not having enough balls to confront a woman about what she is doing THAT IS WRONG or potentially damaging to a long term relationship. – Lost In Translation

 

[CLOONEY]

lol, yeah, I would much rather a girlfriend than a few booty call chicks! I used to be into that scene for years (hence why I have dated so damn many girls), I just got next to NO enjoyment out of it (other than the sex, but sex is sex, and its definately not the be all and end all once you have done it enough to realise this)! Definately more interesting having a real legit girlfriend.

 

[Wyldfire]

Originally posted by romangod
Nonsense..... Just because a guy doesn't want his girlfriend to meet with her grovelling EX does not make him insecure and jealous.

It is a normal reaction for any man. An AFC would let her disrespect him in that way. A real man wouldn't.

Another example of why men here should take women's advice with a large grain of salt.


.

Kindly read my posts accurately before responding in the future. I really don't like making people look foolish.

I said he cannot ACT insecure and jealous. I didn't say he should be okay with her seeing her ex. In fact, in my very first post I told him the ex was a threat and he should not be okay with her seeing him. However, I also told him the ex is playing the very effective game of "Make the current bf jealous and insecure so he flips out and looks insecure and needy to the girl and I can take her from him." By simply pointing out to his gf what the ex was playing at in a calm, rational manner Clooney was able to prevent her from meeting him by leading her to CHOOSE not to see him. He also prevented the ex from succeeding at making Clooney look weak.

My advice was perfect for the situation and had you read that advice in it's entirety before reacting emotionally you might have picked up on that.

 

[Controlfreak]

Wylfyre

I started reading this post today and very quickly realised that your advice was "on the money" before I saw the result.

To the guys who said get rid of the ho! I can understand your position, but to be honest you are not DJ's (neither am I incidently) because you can not handle women. Instead you want to "run away".

It really comes down to this when a (at least reasonable sane) woman gives you a "test" - when you handle it properly you get less tests when you dont handle it properly you get more tests.

If Clooney used Wyldfyres advice and she still met the ex for "coffee" then next that ass!!!!

Once again Wyldfyre ignore the hecklers as your advice was spot on!

If you see any posts from myself your input is would be appreciated.

Finally watch out guys! there is some seriously bad advice on this forum

 

[DaturaX]

You my friend, should dumped this chick immediately.

Ex-gf of mine will ask for my permission before she went out with guys. Yes, called and asked me. But that changed....

I was in a similar situation as you. This women is playing with fire, she merelys wants to upgrade her boyfriend. Sooner or late, she will say that we should go our separate ways and we should stay as friends and what not.

You should dump this chick immediately. She spells trouble. I was in a 2 yr LTR and this happened to me. ex of gf calls and wants her back and **** like that. I dumped her immediately and she wants us to stay as friends. I tell her to go and fu.ck herself.

Next thing I heard was she's planning to go overseas with this ex but found that he wasnt that great afterall. she's feeling confused now and regretted breaking up with me. She can go and fu.ck herself and masturbate thinking of me if she wants to.

Women like that spell trouble and are drama queen.

 

[Slickster]

Clooney

Good post and lots of good discussion.

I like the way you handled things Clooney and I think Wyldfire's advice was the best.

I don't think your girls feelings or even yours are as strong as you believe. If you and your girl WERE truly in love with each other then none of this shyt would be happening. Chicks who are really in love with a guy won't do anything that will make their guy feel uncomfortable or put the relationship in question.

Just something to think about.........

 

[Wyldfire]

To all the guys who want to dump a girl the second a little competition pops up...

You don't view yourself as the better man. You can't just cut and run everytime a little competition comes along. Clooney's girlfriend didn't go meet up with her ex. She didn't ask him to call her or pursue her. Clooney has said she treats him very well. So why do you guys keep advising him to dump her and run away like a defeated loser? Knock that sh*t off. Everywhere in life there will be competition...get used to it. There are horny men everywhere and they don't care if a girl has a boyfriend or husband...and they WILL pursue your girlfriend/wife. Get control of this fear of competition, because if you cut and run everytime this happens you will always be left with nothing or you'll have to find a woman so unappealing that no other man would ever want her.

This is insecurity and not believing you are the better man and a lack of confidence in being able to hold onto a woman. The only reason so many of you would leave a woman over her ex chasing her is because you think the ex is better than you and you want to leave before she leaves you. Bad mind set guys...VERY bad mindset. Women can sense when you feel threatened by another guy. If YOU give off signals that you think the other guys has more to offer than you do then SHE is going to think so too BECAUSE of your reaction. You MUST keep your cool and show NO SIGNS of feeling threatened. Be the better man confidently or you may as well just go ahead and give up right now before you even get started.

 

[Wyldfire]

As I said before...when you genuinely love someone...REAL love, not just hormones or infatuation...you ALWAYS love them. That doesn't mean you can't love new people just as much or even more. A situation like Clooney's can be compared to a sister, mother, brother or close friend interfering in his relationship. Because she loves those people, if they ask something of her it's going to be hard to say no. Not impossible, but hard. You can just go around dumping people because they still care about an ex. Now, if she met up with the ex and cheated on Clooney with him, that would be grounds for dumping her. But she didn't do that. You're telling him to punish her for loving someone she used to be with. That's immature, insecure and ridiculous. She loves her parents, siblings and friends, too. People ARE capable of loving their current partner even if they love other people as well...including an ex. She's with Clooney. He's the one she wants. If she wanted the ex she would be with him.

Punishing people for being capable of loving people is just plain retarded. I don't care how you try to justify your opinion...she did NOT do anything warranting being dumped. Period.

 

[Wyldfire]

Clooney's girlfriend is NOT the one seeking contact with the ex. It is the ex who keeps pursuing her. She has no control over what her ex does. What good would it do for him to give his girlfriend a hard time and tell her to stop something she has no control over? She told her ex she and Clooney would meet with him. What more did you expect her to do? She can't help that she still loves the guy. You can't control who you love. Luckily Clooney understands this and handled things effectively. If you were in this situation you'd screw up your relationship and place unrealistic expectations onto your partner. Unrealistic expectations are nothing more than premeditated resentment. If that's how you operate you are not ever going to be relationship material. Your relationships will all fail miserably.

It's senseless to expect anyone to control the behavior of their ex. And it's even more senseless to think you can control anyone else's behavior besides your own. Trying to leads to frustration, anger and failure EVERY time. Time to grow up some, one arm. I'm saying that to try to help, not piss you off. Think about it logically, NOT emotionally. You're not doing that.

 

[joekerr31]

look this situation is simple. it comes down to a lack of understanding and empathy on the person meeting the ex's part.

see, the person who is meeting the ex, they KNOW what their intentions are. the significant other does not.

no one, male or female, would feel good about their significant other meeting up with an ex lover. NO ONE.

a good woman, or a good man, would not meet up with the person out of respect and caring for their other.

anyone who lacks the empathetic ability to know that their actions such as meeting with an ex would hurt their other, and hence not do it, isn't worth sh*t.

too many relationships are developed with women who see their man as emotionless. they feel they can do whatever they want and the big dumb brute wont mind.

just because men dont break down crying doesnt mean things don't piss us of.

i still hold to my original stance. a woman who meets up with an ex lover, especially after the ex lover tells her that he still has feelings for her, is a selfish wh*re.

NEXT

J

 

[Wyldfire]

Clooney's girlfriend didn't meet up with her ex. She told the ex that she and Clooney would meet him for coffee or whatever. The ex declined her offer.

So why are people telling Clooney to dump her? If it's not because they fear competition and don't feel they measure up favorably to other men then WHY do they so adamantly insist that Clooney should dump her?

What is logical about that advice? It's NOT logical, it's emotional. Women are supposed to be emotional and men are supposed to be logical. What's going on with the guys here to cause them to be reacting so much like women do?

 

[joekerr31]

whats going on is she basically asked him "honey, theres this guy that i use to let f*ck me up the ass. mind if i have coffee with him?"

grow up.

J

 

[TheTrimReaper]

Originally posted by Wyldfire
What is logical about that advice? It's NOT logical, it's emotional. Women are supposed to be emotional and men are supposed to be logical. What's going on with the guys here to cause them to be reacting so much like women do?

If that wasn't for rhetorical question, I think I can fill you in on why men are reacting the way they are Wyldfire. This is something that has actually been on my mind recently. They are telling him to dump her because when they hear his girlfriend is talking to her ex, they are freaked out for him. They know how bad this really is for a man...the emotions are at full intensity because it's so serious. They are concerned she might be one of the women I'm going to describe here.

From what I understand, an emotional connection is so important to a woman. But a lot of women require more affection and attention than one normal person can possibly provide. So many women use a passive-aggressive technique to emotionally "cheat" when they feel they aren't getting enough from their mate.

It works like this. This type of woman has a mate at home. He works, pays bills, drinks a beer with his friends and watches the game. When he's not doing these four things that make him happy, he's doing his best to be a good mate to his wife/girlfriend/fiance. But to her, she wants him to talk and connect to her when she's at work, on the way home, with his boys, and/or with her.

So she reverts to "talking" with other guys. Some things that come to mind might be Instant Messaging old boyfriends, who are "just friends", or new "friends" when she is working. She flirts with the cute co-worker who she knows is single(guys like me, so I know this). She might even meet up with her "friends" or go out to lunch with them.

Since women work on a different system, there are a lot of needs which are fulfilled from living this way. And we guys know this. We are not comfortable when a woman has "friends". It's a major flag because we know that women get so much out of it. But if we call a woman on it, we are the jerks. This is such bullsh1t. It's totally passive aggressive because a woman can say "But honey, we are ONLY talking."

This might provide a better illustration. What if a man fulfills what he needs by "interacting" with ex girlfriends or coworkers. What I mean is he is f*cking them(because that's what we like to do). Well, he can't really tell his wife "But honey, I was only f*cking her!" and be off scott free. You see, the passive aggressive technique doesn't work here because his actions are obviously wrong to all of society, whereas talking to people isn't considered taboo.

I know of many women who did this(my ex included). And when they decided to end their relationships, guess who they were with within a week. Their "friends" of course!

So when the guys on here get upset when they hear a woman "talking" to an ex..."talking" to the UPS man..."talking" to her personal trainer....they get really freaked. It can be comparable to what a woman would feel if she found out her man was f*cking another woman. But it may be even worse because it isn't even honest!!! F*cking is f*cking, period. Whereas, emotional cheating isn't so clearcut. That's why we are so freaked. Hope this helps.

 

[Lost In Translation]

Wyldfire before clooney sat her down and did what you advised him to do

explaining that the ex was only after one thing and to prove it say clooney is coming too

before that

clooneys woman WAS GOING TO HAVE COFFEE

thats why clooney posted

it was not one sided

the man is not completly to blame

TAKES TWO TO TANGO

she was running alittle bit of game

to get clooney jealous/sh*t test/see clooneys reaction

DOESN'T MATTER WHY

she was playing along with her ex's advances


CLOONEY sat her down and your advice worked. called the ex's bluff and the ex retreated.

CLOONEY also laid down the law from the start though now I have told her she cant see him. Either way, I have put the foot down, and either way she knows I mean it because I have already put the foot down on many other issues

this was a factor because if the chick has messed with clooney she would have been NEXT


Lost In Translation

**AUSTRALIAN STREET PIMP**

 

[Wyldfire]

TrimReaper...now that wasn't so hard, was it? That was honesty and being real...minus all the posturing and puffery.

Yeah, I do know exactly what it is about the situation that makes a man upset. Now that we've cleared that up...let's look at Clooney's situation...just the facts.

Clooney tells us that he KNOWS his girlfriend loves him...he's confident of that. We have no reason not to believe him, so let's take him at his word.

He also tells us that his girl's ex makes a habit of pursuing her when she is in a relationship with someone else. This tells us that it is the ex who is reaching out to Clooney's girlfriend and not the other way around.

Clooney also tells us that he has been admittedly slacking on giving her the attention he knows he should be.

Based on that, we can deduct that Clooney realizes that the reason his girlfriend was considering meeting up with her ex to talk was not because she wants more than Clooney can give in the way of attention, but because he was admittedly neglecting her needs. He acknowledged this.

So...this wasn't a case of him doing everything right and her still considering seeing the ex. This was a case of him being a bit lazy and her being vulnerable to an ex who has a history of trying to capitalize on that vulnerability.

If Clooney's girlfriend was not giving him sex and he posted about considering going to meet up with his ex would you be equally as hard on him as you guys are being towards his girlfriend? No, you wouldn't be. In fact, you would be encouraging him to next the girlfriend.

Let's look at basic fairness and personal responsibility for a moment, shall we?

If it's not okay for Clooney's girlfriend to neglect his sexual needs then why should it be okay for him to neglect her emotional needs? They are both equally important to the relationship. You guys need to stop for a moment and really think about this. A relationship takes two people to make or break. You can't expect the woman to take the blame for not meeting your needs AND for you not meeting hers. You're responsible for meeting her needs when you make a comittment to be with someone exclusively.

All the times that I get accused of defending women on here it's really just me trying to help you guys realize that you don't get a pass on your mistakes. You can't afford to give each other those passes...not if you want to grow and progress. You've got to hold yourself and each other accountable for your mistakes or you'll never learn from them.

Clooney's girlfriend never did anything to warrant being dumped. Clooney screwed up by slacking off and there was a wolf waiting right outside the hen house to strike. If it weren't the ex it would be some other guy. There is always going to be that to deal with. If you want to avoid it ending badly for you then you MUST be aware of what you might be doing to contribute to your own difficulties, or in Clooney's case...be aware of what you AREN'T doing.

Is what I'm saying starting to make any sense to you at all?

 

[Wyldfire]

Originally posted by Lost In Translation
Wyldfire before clooney sat her down and did what you advised him to do

explaining that the ex was only after one thing and to prove it say clooney is coming too

before that

clooneys woman WAS GOING TO HAVE COFFEE

thats why clooney posted

it was not one sided

the man is not completly to blame

TAKES TWO TO TANGO

she was running alittle bit of game

to get clooney jealous/sh*t test/see clooneys reaction

DOESN'T MATTER WHY

she was playing along with her ex's advances


CLOONEY sat her down and your advice worked. called the ex's bluff and the ex retreated.

CLOONEY also laid down the law from the start though now I have told her she cant see him. Either way, I have put the foot down, and either way she knows I mean it because I have already put the foot down on many other issues

this was a factor because if the chick has messed with clooney she would have been NEXT


Lost In Translation

**AUSTRALIAN STREET PIMP**

LIT...see my last post. You guys are so focused on placing all the blame on the woman that you miss a very important part of the puzzle here. Clooney told us that he was not giving her enough attention. When these issues come up guys don't take the time to look honestly at their part in the problem at hand. Without doing that, none of you grow or learn how to prevent this kind of thing in the future. Self responsibility...we need to see more of it here...MUCH more of it.

 

[Lost In Translation]

clooney didn't give her enough attention ?

Wyldfire we are all responsible for our actions

men and women

even if clooney wasn't giving her enough attention

she has a mind of her own

i am not saying it's her fault entirely

i am saying 50 / 50

her ex 50% for trying to entice her

her 50% for ACCEPTING HIS ADVANCES


Lost In Translation

**AUSTRALIAN STREET PIMP**

 

[Wyldfire]

Originally posted by Lost In Translation
clooney didn't give her enough attention ?

Wyldfire we are all responsible for our actions

men and women

even if clooney wasn't giving her enough attention

she has a mind of her own

i am not saying it's her fault entirely

i am saying 50 / 50

her ex 50% for trying to entice her

her 50% for ACCEPTING HIS ADVANCES


Lost In Translation

**AUSTRALIAN STREET PIMP**

Wrong, wrong, wrong. The relationship is between Clooney and his girlfriend. The ex did not make a commitment to Clooney not to try to get his old girlfriend back. The ex may be an ass...but he made no promises to anyone. He can be an ass if he wants to...even if that means pursuing Clooney's girlfriend.

The blame for the situaiton IS 50%-50%...and Clooney is not innocent. Even HE knows that. Why can't you acknowledge that? If he were getting the job done to keep her satisfied she would not have considered seeing her ex. Now, he could stick his head in the sand as many of you are doing...but that doesn't help him in the long run. You MUST examine your own contribution to your problems if you want to learn anything. That isn't negotiable and just because this is a man's website it does NOT mean you can absolve each other or any and all responsibility.

 

[Lost In Translation]

ok lets say CLOONEY was married to this chick

so what because CLOONEY is busy with work and other commitments to keep her in the life of luxury

it is CLOONEYs fault if she goes out and cheats on him ?

clooney not giving her enough attention did not move through the astral realm and PROMPT her ex to contact her

that sh*t was gunna go down regardless

the ex instigated this situation

without the spark there can be no fire

the chick acepted his advances

now we can say clooney is to blame because he didn't give his women enough attention

but how much neglect was clooney showing her ?

she is an adult and clooney is not a baby sitter

yes clooney is responsible for part of this problem

there i said it take a screen shot Wyldfire

BUT looking at her ex dumping her and a TYPICAL ( so not you wyldfire ) womans reactions is :

Quote : DJDamage
Being REJECTED is almost like an aphrodisiac for those types of women. They want someone which they cannot have or cannot control.

there are other factors influencing this young womans heart

her ex is pulling strings on her heart

Quote : CLOONEY
Says that he always felt like she was his and now he is ready to not take her for granted and have a good relationship with her

^ read that closely wyldfire

the chick is saying some serious sh*t right there

there is more to this than meets the eye

and maybe you will bring it all back to clooney and say if gave her enough attention then NONE of these factors would matter and she would stay true

from the abudance of the heart the mouth speaks

the young women said with her own mouth she still FEELS that she belongs to her ex

he has some pert of her like a master manipulator

and she longs to have her soul made whole

the deeper struggle is inside of her and from her past. clooneys neglect may have allowed these feelings to feed and grow strong
but maybe she never fully got over being dumped and rejected by her first true love


Lost In Translation

**AUSTRALIAN STREET PIMP**

 

[NewMan]

So...this wasn't a case of him doing everything right and her still considering seeing the ex. This was a case of him being a bit lazy and her being vulnerable to an ex who has a history of trying to capitalize on that vulnerability.

Interesting since you wrote....

Furthermore, any man who would essentially punish his child because he's upset that he's not getting as much sex is about useless. You don't withhold being a family from your child when you're unhappy with your wife. That's immature, juvenile and retarded. Men who think like that do end up divorced and alienate their kids because they hate their ex more than they love their own children. And we wonder why kids are so messed up these days. Sorry, but a father who broods and punishes his kid for wifey not putting out is no better than the wife who stops having sex with her husband.

So it was OK for her to hang with her ex (who wants to fvck her) - but the guy who's not getting laid by his wife has to be a good little dog.

I really don't get this.

The minute things are not perfect with Clooney, the chick is talking about meeting her ex. This is not the workings of a quality woman. She knows the ex wants to fvck her, and she knows that her goino meet him will have an effect on Clooney. Shouldn't she be understanding and working on this relationship?

It's a BS move. The minute you have to explain this to a chick - is the minute you've got to 2nd guess the relationship. You don't want to be married with 2 kids - with all the pressure and have her tell you she's meeting her ex.

Fvck that.


This works both ways.