//The Chronicles of BPH\\

[N_SEAL44]

To answer your first question, yes you do need to be certified but 9 out of 10 places you work at will certify you for free anyway. I got certified on my own at a nearby college (I had to pay for the cert. though) but I work for a State Park that wanted me to get re certified by them which was all free. Of course anywhere you can get a job, take it. However I'd recommend looking for a job where you work with other lifeguards (Water Parks, Beaches, State Parks), its a lot more fun if your working with other people your age.

Your second question, I applied for the job a few months ago but there are still jobs for the summer out there. Look through the news paper, search the internet, or even go to local lakes or water parks and ask if they need lifeguards. I'm not sure how far you are from the ocean but I would recommend a job there first as you will get paid TONS more and you will have a lot more fun working at a beach. Good luck in your search!!

 

[justanothernormalguy]

Yes I presented you with pua material. But I dont use that in a generic manner. I tailor it to me in a natural way. You can be natural, but have some idea of how your game should go. Im just saying dont say things that they say in the movies, or what immature guys would say...like 'cutie'. Its very un-manly. Men dont say 'cute' or 'cutey'. Im from Ireland so maybe its different out there, but its pretty unnatractive in my own opinion.

Im not having a go at you, its not about success but how you learn and improve. But I havent seen that much change in your game, even when its gone wrong you still use the same sort of stuff, change it up man! You have guts, honestly, more than most people out there but you just need some fine tuning.

I was simply trying to give you a rough idea of how the female brain works. In order for them to create attraction they need comfort. And from all of your approaches I sense nothing that comes across as making them feel comfortable in your presence. Comfort doesnt mean they want to hug you like a teddy bear, but more they need to know your not a desperate pervert or going to rob them.

You are doing well. But you could improve so much more. I am natural, I dont use cheesy lines and everything I open with is situational and not rehearsed. But I still rely on some basic fundamental psychology and situational awareness that you are considering PUA territory.

Another thing you might want to consider, you wonder why american girls love a lot of british and guys from the UK and ireland? Its because of our behaviour, we dont use words like 'cute' and we have seriously good manners. This comes across as very confident, not wussy. Just try not being sleazy, even for one day, dont use a word like cutey, just be a true gentleman. you need to be modest and cool headed at all times even when you are upset.

Something that stood out to me in your previous posts are your anger issues man. You have them, dont hide them you need to control them and you need to address it. I have been doing martial arts for years, MMA and BJJ. I know I can lay out most people who are aggressive towards me, but do you know how I deal with it? I simply say, I dont want any trouble my friend, please stop being aggressive towards me as I have no intention of being aggressive towards you. Then you offer your hand as a sign of respect. Not once has this not worked to calm a situation down. Now its a different story if they attack me but until then I come across to everyone the bigger man, not an aggressive chump. Girls will seriously consider this and will be impressed.

Fighting is a boys game (except in the ring). Offering your hand is for the men, respect everyone. That doesnt make you a pushover or a wuss. It makes you confident enough that you know fighting is not the answer and gets you nowhere. People lose respect for you especially girls they think your an idiot. The only time its acceptable is to defend yourself or someone else from attack and even then you stop as soon as you have neutralised the threat.

You dont have to listen to my advice, this isnt me having a go at you. But honestly I think you should just try being a man for a day. You are almost a man. So start being one. Men do not make big deals of things, if someone angers you, you discuss it, you dont knock three desks out the way hitting a girl with one and start shouting at them to stand up and fight you...it looks pathetic. Did you even appoligise to the girl for hitting her with it. You dont come across as a brooding bad boy by the very fact you are on this forum, so dont act like one. Again, I am not having a go at you, but this is the way I give advice.

Don Draper. That is all.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tOQfBdCT-AI - Take it with a pinch of salt.

Here is the sleazy I was talking about...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JiP1z9qfojA

 

[NorwegianDJ]

the walls above me are TL;DR, its late at night.

I agree with what he says tho, you're failing cause you go for numbers (immidiately), maybe abuse calling the cute etc, and generally just using material, as you dont seem to have the balls to go in with nothing in your mind.
That was blunt.

And I believe you failed to add me on facebook

Night bro.

 

[justanothernormalguy]

No idea what TL/DR means and I dont want to bother myself looking it up. I gave you my advice, you can ignore it or you can try it. Either way you have nothing to lose if you change to a gentlemans attitude for a week. Or give what I am saying a go. Its all about trying different things.

And you are going for a number close too soon. Let me ask you this, if you were a girl and some dude walks up to you and asks if you want to make out or immediately asks for your number, would you give it? Hell no, hes just some needy desperate pervert. Why would a girl give you a number before you have even had a discussion, so she can talk to you via a virtual screen? Yeah that comes across as confident...You need to charm her before she has the desire to talk to you through other mediums or even again. Otherwise you just come across as a creep.

Dont use generic compliments, such as commenting on their eyes, or that you thought they were cute so wanted to come over to say hi. You are validating them straight away, they know you want something from them, and probably have a lot of options so they dont have much interest in you. Looks dont have as much emphasis on making an impression and charm. Its more about facial expressions, body language, energy and charisma. You need to be the leader and you need to project that.

My opinions on the cali girl. Stop talking to her, and when she comes talk to you, act like its nothing. Keep it brief and if she touches you slowly push her hand off you and say you have to go do X,Y. She will not understand how you had been so keen and utterly repulsive as a result, but now have no interest in her. To start, she will need to be revalidated by you so will probably try several times or will contact you by text. But you need to hold strong, you need to be calm and brief with her. After a while you can respond, but not show interest. You need to be the one in control, you control your interest levels and hers. Its hard to transition this from her just needing re-validating, to developing feelings for you. But it can be done.

I also want you to re-think what you want from women. Do you want to be a 'player', like most of these guys on this forum claim to be. Who really dont 'love' women and are fairly cold hearted about it all. Or do you want to be a man, in control of the relationship but at the same time you arent a heartless bastard. Its not about hitting and quitting, you will never truly be happy like this despite all your attempts to convince yourself you are. Most of the people who think like this feel wronged or hurt by a woman they once dated which is the wrong attitude to have. You need to say 'yes it was a bad experience, but it was a learning experience and I know what signs to look out for in the future for X,Y'. And yes I have been there. You have to learn all of this yourself, but dont fall into the trap of 'women are a hopeless cause, only there for when I want to use them for my own pleasure'.

You could be fairly successful, take my advice or ignore it. But only good things can come from trying it as I wouldnt bother posting on this thread if I didnt think it could help. But please feel free to dismiss what I say, yet again. You actually ignored a lot of what I said, it wasnt about PUA at all, it was about psychology and the way body language is interpreted by people in the modern society. Anyway good luck with it all.

And you are not going to make money on the stock market without a good degree from a good college and getting into a good bank and earning a good bonus. Unless you have a lot of capital to trade under your own name with, you arent gunna make money. If you want to make money through this route, then I suggest you get the grades for it and go to an IVY league college. This allows you to move easily into jobs in the city. If you want to make money other ways, you need to find something like a service or product gap in the market. Dont just mess around with online stock games, get a book and start learning if you really want to learn this stuff. Be prepared for a time in your life when you hit rock bottom too. Where the money is, the failure is also just waiting round the corner to hit you like a ton of bricks. The really successful come back from this.

If you want to pack on size. Allmax Quickmass. http://www.allmaxnutrition.com/
I put on lean muscle, FAST when I was on it. Its probably the best out there right now for bulking with lean muscle.

 

[BPH]

6/21/11

Read walls of text and worked out. No sprints, my dinner gave me a stomach ache that I didn't enjoy dealing with.

And SS:

3x5x205 Squat
3x5x80 or 85 Press
5x3x115 Power Clean

14x20 Renegade Rows (7 on each hand)
13x20 Squat Press
26x65 Pole Push (13 each shoulder)
15 Box Jump
15 Speed Bench Jump
15 Power Bench Jump
26x70 Plank Pull (13 each arm, good form)
15x25 Box Step
15x25 Box Sit

Not much else, I really don't feel like trying to remember and type up my day.

 

[BPH]

6/22/11

Alright so today I woke up early and went to do my job for honor society. I basically play the role of a janitor, sorting trash into 3 different cans.

Didn't go to the mall today due to not having a ride.

Packed up a bunch of stuff for Rehoboth beach tomorrow. Undoubtedly gonna see some girls, so hopefully I can have some fun with that.

And in response to justan, the reason I don't really wanna listen to the somewhat long routine suggestions you posted above is because I want to be able to do stuff like this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HaEVc-XNy9U

I love the physical aspect of a relationship, and I would enjoy skipping straight to it if possible, as seen above.

Anyway, I'm gone, so goodnight.

 

[justanothernormalguy]

Ok well I can understand your point of view. However, if you read closely not everything I said was regarded as a routine, and was more about general life values and principles. And some of the stuff you seemed to have not addressed as I imagine because of how much I wrote you couldn't be bothered.

As for that video, I always find guys like that a bit sleazy. Fair enough if thats the type of game you want to have, but I prefer to give off an air of confidence that means when I interact with women they are interested in me anyway because they are fascinated by me actually being a man. I don't need to get with women every night I go out, I don't go out of my way to get with women. Doesnt mean I have a low sex drive or anything but it just means that they aren't my life and do fine without having one in my life all the time. I am not a PUA, but that doesn't mean I am not successful with women. I go out with my friends to have fun, and if it so happens that I see someone I am interested in I might approach if I feel like it on the night. I'd prefer to meet women through friends, work, school, bars, parties etc...rather than say the club scene which is where that guys game in the videos, seems to lie. I am too busy doing the things I want to do with my life, such as Mixed Martial Arts, BJJ, Writing, Reading, seeing friends, working out, working to bother to make time to go out and pick up women. Women will happen in your life, its not necessarily about making opportunities as not wasting ones that present yourself to them. And it might be different for me as I live in a big city, but the amount of interactions you have with women, friends or new acquaintances on a day to day basis is a lot.

 

[BPH]

Ok well I can understand your point of view. However, if you read closely not everything I said was regarded as a routine, and was more about general life values and principles. And some of the stuff you seemed to have not addressed as I imagine because of how much I wrote you couldn't be bothered.

For the record I DO read your posts, I just wish you organized them into paragraphs so it's not so easy to get lost.

6/23/11

Woke up, drove a few hours to our hotel and crashed there for a little bit.

Went to the beach, not much action due to the weather, just kinda chilled in the water to cool off.

Family went to a pool party at the bride's beach house. This was the fun part of the night.

Started a game of Smear the Queer and football in the pool. One of the people attending this wedding was a wealthy family with a daughter named HB Mel. She came over to me and we started a conversation by the hot tub. She had forgotten her bathing suit or else it could have been much more sexual.

HB Mel is maybe...an 8, she's cute but she's quirky and artsy and that's not really my type. She's also a very inhibited girl, having only kissed 2 guys in her life. We arranged to meet at the wedding tomorrow to make out and have some time to ourself.

The rest of the night was just swimming and being eaten by mosquitoes.

6/24/11

So today was the day of the wedding. After the football games in the pool yesterday all our toes were chewed up and in LOTS of pain.

Anyway at the beach I was walking with my brother and his friends...and guess who we saw...HB Mel.

She's kinda clingy, already added me on Facebook and texted me a bit. And she came over to me in her bikini, and she didn't look so good...

Anyway I eventually did kiss her, and it sucked...she wouldn't come back to the room and we had to do it while waves were bombarding us. She wasn't a good kisser and I really wasn't proud of having kissed her...

The wedding later that night was nice and quaint on the beach...but the reception itself was so much fun! It was slow to start but picked up when the DJ started playing more contemporary songs like Teach me How to Dougie and Yeah.

I busted a move on more than a few ocassions and had several pictures taken by the photographers at the wedding, so hopefully I can get a hold of these for Facebook and watnot. I slow danced with HB Mel a few times, but I don't want her getting too attached so I only kissed her on the cheek.

At the end of the night my brother, his friends and I all went out on the boardwalk late at night to look around for girls and screw around. There really weren't any chicks, so we made our own fun:

1. Clapped our hands over our head in sync, people watching us started copying us and a few even followed us a bit

2. Zach found a sand castle and felt the urge to stomp it in.

3. A drunk dude passed out against a mound of sand...it started raining kinda hard later that night so I'm not sure he survived.

4. A group of girls and a guy were being funny and stupid, we were yelling back and forth at each other until the girls came up to us and challenged us. One claimed I wasn't 17 based on how I was acting, I remember saying something along the lines of "whipping my d*** out" and other hilarious obscenities. The guy tried to play tough and was acting like he was going to fight us before walking away to follow the girls.

5. Two girls were sitting on a lifeguard stand and told us it was their birthday. My brother's friend Max went back to them later that night and asked if he could get head. The girls ran away.

Funny night.

I'll update this again tonight

 

[BPH]

6/25/11

Not much today. Most of today was spent driving home from the beach and getting our things packed up to do so in our hotel room.

I really don't remember anything interesting happening today so I'll just leave that alone.

6/26/11

Early part of this day was spent on Xbox just chilling out. Back on my high protein and exercise regime.

Here we go:

3x5x210 Squat
3x5x170 Bench (smith machine due to no spotters)
1x5x175 Deadlift

12x20 Renegade Rows (6 on each hand)
12x20 Squat Press
24x65 Pole Push (12 each shoulder)
15 Box Jump
15 Speed Bench Jump
15 Power Bench Jump
24x70 Plank Pull (12 each arm, good form)
15x25 Box Step
15x25 Box Sit

Somebody commented on the journal I'm keeping on this workout. I haven't made TOO much progress. I have lots of trouble getting past my bench which hovers around 160. I watched some form videos for deadlifts and not I understand what I was doing wrong, which allowed me to beef up the weight today. Please critique this for me. I take 7 minute breaks between squat sets, and 5 minute breaks between bench sets.

I hit up a few people on Facebook today. One prospect as far as girls to hang out with. She was one from an earlier PAL dance so hopefully I can hook up with her again.

Talk to you guys later.

 

[BPH]

6/27/11

Today was ok, simple.

Woke up late for my job, ended up coming in about an hour late. I really hate waking up so early and getting paid so little to be the equivalent of a janitor at a summer school.

So I called 3 places where I had applied or wanted to work:

1. Swim Club already has all its spots filled.

2. Didn't get a hold of the manager at the local gym.

3. Left a message at HR for HAC.

Tried to start getting used to contacts but psyched myself out before I even had them in.

I talked to 2 girls today online, one that I hadn't seen in a long time and the other from myyearbook.com.

The first girl doesn't seem interested for the time being, I'll refrain from posting that convo, I already ran it past Norwegian.

Second girl wants to chill really badly and has the hots for me despite having a boyfriend.

So we'll see what happens.

I want to take headshots for the modeling agency, problem is I don't know whether I should clear up the small blemishes, mainly on my forehead. Maybe they can use makeup or photoshop, I don't know but I want to model.

Anyway leave your thoughts and I'll check in the morning. Goodnight.

 

[BPH]

6/28/11

Today was chock full of stuff that I may not even be able to finish typing about before I go to bed.

It started with work. Today Kevin wouldn't be coming to work, no big deal, the school that I'm cleaning is rather small.

Then I busted in a nice workout:

3x5x215 Squat
3x5x90 Press
5x3x120 Power Clean

10x20 Renegade Rows (5 on each hand)
14x20 Squat Press
28x65 Pole Push (14 each shoulder)
15 Box Jump
15 Speed Bench Jump
15 Power Bench Jump
28x70 Plank Pull (14 each arm, good form)
15x25 Box Step
15x25 Box Sit

Then later I had football 7 on 7. That went well, we lost but it wasn't by much. Personally I got no passes thrown to me, screwed up twice, and almost came up with an interception had the receiver not interferred.

What really interested me was that I read through Plec's motivation post, and I didn't think I would need its information, but man does it put things into a great perspective. Tomorrow I'm going to get some things together to follow up with Sammo's post at the end of his section.

Texted that girl from myyearbook, so far it's going great, sexual tension and setting up a Day 2. But near the end she brought up that she and her boyfriend are fighting, so I quickly dismissed it and told her to text me about hanging out when she gets back from the beach. This could be a great lay if she pulls away from her boy, thankfully she doesn't mention him much until today.

Anyway, more training, going to the mall tomorrow, crappy job in the morning.

Living by a motto for my training: You get out what you put in

Goodnight.

 

[BPH]

6/29/11

Today was fine, actually got out and did some sarging. Sammo's posts in Plec's sticky are truly amazing. One thing I don't quite understand is how to make friends with other guys outside of school. It seems a bit odd to ask a guy I just met for his number on Facebook...

Anyway, I opened 3 sets, and I will journal to myself what I did right and wrong to use as reference for improvement:

Me: Hi, how are you doin?
HB: Good
Me: Can I ask you a question? Get an opinion on something?
HB: Sure
Me: Who cheats more? Guys or girls?

Screw it I gotta go to bed soon for work tomorrow. Will update the rest of this tomorrow.

 

[BPH]

6/29/11 Cont.

Alright so continuing the conversation:

HB: Haha, girls
Me: Wow, you're that sure huh?
HB: Yea, haha every girl I know is a ***** so yea...
Me: Cause I have this friend Ben...(story about a friend of mine that got cheated on)...and he still goes out with the girl, what do you think of that?
HB: It sounds like he's stupid, how long have they been going out?
Me: I think 3 months haha
HB: Yea he's stupid then haha
Me: He says he loves her too much to leave her
HB: Wow...hold on I need to take this (interrupts my convo to take a phone call, asks me to take her to Barnes & Noble to find her brother)

During this walk I find out a few things about this girl...her name is HB Ally, she lives in Syracuse, she's 16, she will be in Delaware until next Saturday, her brother is in the army. When I got her to her store I told her to give me her number before her brother comes out and finds me. She does, I give her a hug and she says bye. I'll hit her up Friday.

The Good:

Number closed, kept the convo smooth and funny, had some kino, practiced good conversation skills

The Bad:

Her phone call interrupted my conversation with her, albeit for an important reason, coulda kino-ed her more than just shaking her hand when I opened and found out her name and hugging her at the end.

Next set comin up, 2 girls sitting at a table in the food court...I didn't close the next 2 sets so I'll just give a little synopsis:

Went up to these girls, only one was cute. Used the same "who cheats more", both girls think that guys cheat more, I tell them my story about Ben again and the hot one tells me the same thing happened to her with her boyfriend (yea FML at this point right?). Some dude she's going out with has been with her for 3 years...We made small talk about this topic. Tried to number close them to hang out later but they told me their boyfriends would kill me...so yea...

Final set was a pair of store clerks, of course only one was hot. She had a decent body. but her face was absolutely gorgeous; great smile, green eyes, tan skin, dark silky hair. Same opener and story, these girls thought it was about equal for guys and girls. We made small talk about where we go to school, asked them their ages since they go to college, both are 20 (FML). I soon disqualify myself by telling them they're too old for then leave. In retrospect I kicked myself in the balls for failing to even ask the hot one for her number...

After reading Sammo's posts, I had the inclination to make friends with a large mixed group sitting at the food court. However, I waited too long after I finished my meal and they soon left.

There were also 2 girls from Rehoboth Beach I met again...remember the girls I said I messed around with after the wedding that one day? The ones chillin at the lifeguard stand? Yea they were there hahaha.

It was a love-hate kinda thing, we talked to each other and laughed and stuff but never got too comfortable...one of em added me on Facebook.

But today I'm going to apply at each place in my nearby shopping center for a better job than the one I currently have. If I can I'll sarge Main St. and do Sammo's post requirements.

Talk to you all later.

 

[BPH]

6/30/11

Today wasn't too eventful...however I have lost my wallet, which contained my driver's license, student ID, about $25 and a condom...lovely huh?

Well today work was fine, partner didn't show up again. My Xbox LIVE will expire in less than 5 minutes, and I hope to move away from video games following this.

I have plans for tomorrow:

Grocery shopping

Job applications

Call that girl from the mall

See Transformers 3

Hang out with Joe at the pool

Do Willie's crazy workout tomorrow

But for today, the only real thing I did was workout again. Saw a friend from my old high school, mentioned that I look big which made me feel good about my progress.

Anyway here are the numbers:

3x5x220 Squat
3x5x165 Bench (still having trouble bringing this number up, struggling at the end)
1x5x185 Deadlift

16x20 Renegade Rows (8 on each hand)
14x20 Squat Press
28x70 Pole Push (14 each shoulder)
15 Box Jump
15 Speed Bench Jump
15 Power Bench Jump
28x80 Plank Pull (14 each arm, good form)
30x80 Throw Downs
15x25 Box Step
15x25 Box Sit

Made some mistakes with this routine, namely by forgetting to mention throw downs and having the wrong value at the pole pushes.

Anyway, not much goin on right now. I do have a rather odd question to ask you guys though...

My legs are moderately hairy, and I trim my "hair down there" but my leg hair grows kinda short on the insides of my thighs...bordering the "hair down there". Should I shave this as well? I'm afraid it'll create a lot of itching. Apologies if this is a bad description, I'd rather not get too graphic haha.

Goodnight all, and yes that is a serious question.

 

[BPH]

7/1/11

Saw Transformers 3 today, pretty f***ing awesome!

Not much important happened today, Willie didn't have his workout today due to the July 4th weekend.

I don't have much to document without really nitpicking and I'm watching Wedding Crashers so I'll talk to you all later.

Oh there's 2 girls online, one Facebook, one Myyearbook, that I can hopefully hang out with in the next week.

But yeah, goodnight.

 

[BPH]

7/2/11

Today was just a really disappointingly lazy day...

I psyched myself out with the contacts again

I didn't do my 5 sprints

I have to wait till Tuesday to get my license again

I had some pains in my back, want to get an X-ray

I didn't even go in the pool to get some sun today

Still haven't heard about or been invited to any parties yet, which really pisses me off deep down

Saw myself in the pics following the wedding reception, some look REALLY good...but I have to buy them and can't post them on Facebook as far as I know

Had some pictures taken yesterday that I can submit to a modeling agency

Hopefully will be hanging out with 3 girls in the next 3 days, as long as I can hang out with even a fraction of that number I'll be satisfied since July 4th will undoubtedly take up people's time

I don't think I'm missin anything else, so I think I'm just gonna chill on Xbox until I go to bed, goodnight all.

 

[Bum]

love your journal dude. Been lurking it for a while now. Keep up the good work and faith.

 

[BPH]

love your journal dude. Been lurking it for a while now. Keep up the good work and faith.

Thanks man

7/3/11

Today was ok, had a really great healthy breakfast this morning since I went out and got stuff high in protein from the grocery.

Well here was the workout:

3x5x225 Squat
3x5x95 Press (difficult)
5x3x120 Power Clean

18x20 Renegade Rows (9 on each hand)
15x20 Squat Press
30x70 Pole Push (15 each shoulder)
15 Box Jump
15 Speed Bench Jump
15 Power Bench Jump
30x80 Plank Pull (15 each arm, good form)
30x80 Throw Downs
15x25 Box Step
15x25 Box Sit

I saw a friend, Joe at the gym with his brother and friend. The two are in college and apparently like partying, so they're cool, made friends with them. Had Joe come over to swim, learned that he was pretty good with girls, having dated a few really hot ones, and had the same mentality as me. Sounds like he'd be fun to go out and sarge with.

Dinner with grandparents then chilled out home. Did my sprints at like midnight.

That one girl that was supposed to hang out couldn't due to a cook out, rescheduled to go to a playground or park on Wednesday.

Gotta get a new license and take some serious modeling photos by Tuesday if possible.

Talk to you all later.

 

[BPH]

Quick Update:

My friend Joe is now going to that firework show with a chick, so he had to cancel on our thing.

Should I go to this thing by myself? It feels like something that would just be a bunch of couples.

New Goal:

Lose my virginity before the end of the summer

 

[BPH]

7/4/11

Today sucked, it might not sound bad but I didn't enjoy it when I think about how I wanted it to go...

So Joe and I went to the firework show by Swift Park. It was awesome, the place was full of girls. The show wasn't very long, so afterwards I hitched a ride with Joe and we went to a college party that his brother was throwing. Place was jumpin, wall-to-wall cuties. I ended up talkng to this one, easily a 10, we were drunk and ended up making out. And guess what? I lost my virginity to her!

That's what I wish I coulda said about tonight...

In reality Joe couldn't go with me to the firework show because a girl asked him to go with her. I went to this show with my brother and his friend Zach. It was so lame, I didn't see too many hotties, even though I missed an opportunity to approach this one group. We got to the show pretty late, it was just starting and would end 20 minutes later. We would spend almost an hour in heavy traffic trying to get home, which leaves me in the position I currently have behind this computer. I did see Joe there, he was looking for the girl he brought...

But this isn't that important, what's important is that I am not happy, nor am I satisfied with how my life is currently going. Another holiday passes and I am still spending it with family when I feel like I should be spending it with friends and girls.

So I wanna take some time, sit back, and evaluate my life on paper (or in this case, cyberspace):

The Good

I'm funny
I'm attractive
I'm smart
I'm athletic
I'm confident in everything I do
If there's something I really wanna do, I will find a way to do it
I'm not afraid of rejection
I'm not afraid of failure
I'm an outgoing and friendly person

The Bad

I don't get invited to parties yet
I haven't been laid yet
I don't have the friends I want yet
I'm not making enough money to satisfy me yet
I haven't put forth the effort to model yet
I feel awkward when out by myself
I feel awkward when I approach groups

Solutions

I have to make friends with everyone, approach everyone, network with everyone. This presents a problem to me as I don't know how I'd keep in contact with these people without coming off as creepy when I ask them for their Facebooks or numbers.

I need to meet more girls. Simple. But easier said than done, especially when I have to travel double digit miles each time to meet them.

Same thing as party, must network with more people. Doing that now with Joe and some of his friends...but obviously it's nowhere near enough.

I need to find a job that allows me to train for football and exposes me to people. Middle schoolers don't count. Lifeguarding would be a great one if I could find a f***ing pool that needs employees.

I need to take serious modeling photos that I can submit, and not just some half-a**ed shots when the time affords it.

I need to either sarge by myself more often, or get more fun friends that can come with me.

I need to approach more groups, especially mixed groups where I can befriend the guys while I seduce their girls.

Overall I'm depressed, guys. My high school life is not where I want it to be, I am living the sheltered life that my parents brought me up in and it's following me to the point where I should be making my own decisions. However, it all comes down to me, and I must make these changes myself. Sometimes I wish I could contact somebody like Sammo or a DJ/PUA that lives near me and learn from them. Just tell me what to do, I'd do it, and learn from the experiences...but right now I'm just repeating trial and error until something clicks (which hasn't happened for a while).

I don't understand how I would have been better with girls last year than I am now. Maybe I am more knowledgeable now, but the results are not fulfilling this prophecy.

But alas, apologies to those that are b****ing to themselves about this long read but I'm unhappy where I'm at...I feel like I'm going through the motions in life. I wake up, eat well, maybe work out, and go to bed hoping the hang out with a girl I number closed the next day.

But I have boring ole work tomorrow, I hope some of you actually read this whole thing and can level with me to a point, apologies for sounding like a whiney b**** but this is how I feel right now with the passing of this holiday.

Goodnight you all, hope you had a better 4th of July than I did.