//The Chronicles of BPH\\

LearningSlowly

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Whoa, that last sentence?? Why are you getting dropped, the whole point of digging sand trenches and **** is so you eventually get to be a brother! It can't be cause of the probation?
 

BPH

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3/15/13 - 3/22/13 Week 30

As I write this I’ve been sitting in an airport for the better part of 6 hours. I wanted to visit my family for Easter Break, but now it’s at the point where this is becoming more trouble than it’s worth. I’d only get to see them for 2 days and I’d have the same problems getting back. So I opted to call it a day and will be heading back to the dorms. Due to the lack of a decent internet connection in this airport I might as well write up my journal in Microsoft Word so I can copy and paste it later on…

This week continues my unlucky streak since getting back from Panama City on Spring Break…I guess I’ll start with my getting dropped from ATO…
On Monday all the pledges had an interview to do with the fraternity and were followed with a deliberation. Andrew was first, and his deliberation was short before I got called in. I knew everybody would talk about brotherhood and stuff so I told them that I wanted to be social chair because I want to have control over coordinating the fun aspects of being in a fraternity. I thought my interview went well, but my deliberation was much longer than Andrew’s, though at the time I paid it no mind.

So on Tuesday during my regular lunch with Miles and Alex I brought it up jokingly and Alex lightly dropped the bomb on me that I was dropped. He told me it was such a long deliberation because he and some others were arguing for me to be in the fraternity because the reasons were stupid. According to Alex, the arguments that were made were so far off…but for the sake of informing you I’ll list them. They think I creep on girls, they had a girl in a sorority complain about me, although I don’t know who it was or what the complaint was about, they think I’m only there for the parties, and a few of the brothers thought it was bad that I wasn’t behaving like a total b**** for them in Panama City. Of these people that voted against me, and only 5 were needed to drop me, I know for a fact that Jeff was one of them. Heard it through the grapevine. But that wasn’t a surprise to me, I just really hate him now and wouldn’t mind beating the s*** out of him at some point for all the things I did for the fraternity…

Think about it…without me, they wouldn’t have a pledge class. Of the 7 pledges, 6 were my friends from International House. The only reason they KNEW about ATO was because I became good friends with Alex early on and brought them out to the fraternity’s parties. Of all the pledges I was also the most responsible, having the fewest occurrences of f***ing up. And I also did the most…from cleaning up the houses, to digging sand pits in Panama City, to attending every dance practice for the Greek Week talent show. The way I see it, screw em. I was a huge asset and can easily move on from this. I just feel betrayed. The only thing that sucks is that all my other friends are still in running for completing pledgeship, so it just sucks that we won’t always be able to go out to the same things.

But let’s continue…

On Thursday the ATO guys all had their own agendas and I had mine. There was a Delts party (DTD or Delta Tau Delta) that I decided to go to with HB Adri, HB Brandy, Miles, Andrew, and some of the girls’ hot friends. Namely HB Rachael. Anyway, we pregame at Jeff’s. I make no eye contact with the brothers and only talk to my pledge friends and guys from International House. The only brother I really talk to is Mike, this guy has always been such a great dude, he still loves and me and just said that sometimes s*** happens. Anyway, we head over to the Delts party with Brett as the DD after having some drinks. It’s a good party, I see a few friends, start dancing with HB Adri on the table, but here’s the kicker…HB Robyn is here. I get down from the table and see her and go to say hi. I give her a hug, try to kiss her…no, try to dance with her…no. She tells me to go dance with the girl on the table, saying she looks like she wants it. I explain that this girl is just my friend and tell her that I can’t like her if she won’t let me. She just plugs in her iPod to play some of her own music and goes to dance with her friends. I say screw it and decide to dance with HB Rachael. Sometime later HB Robyn leaves the party, whatever. I play a game of beer pong with HB Rachael against Brett and HB Brandi and tell her that if we win, she has to kiss me, and that if we lose, I have to kiss her. She agrees, we win, and we make out a bit. This makes HB Brandi a little jealous, despite having a boyfriend haha. I get HB Rachael’s number; Rachanna ends up banging some dude up in a bathroom before we leave. I’m amazed this girl is able to get the D, she’s ugly as hell.
We leave, end of the night. I text HB Robyn the next 2 days, once a day, asking what her plans are. No reply so whatever. HB Rachael is also unavailable to chill for the next few days.

Funny thing on the side…HB Adri is a great friend. There was an ATO kegger on Friday and Jeff told me specifically that I couldn’t come, “because it’s brothers only”. Best part is that some of the other guys in International House that aren’t even interested in joining the fraternity ask Jeff if they’re welcome…and of course, they are. So HB Adri calls me and asks why I’m not there, I tell her Jeff wouldn’t let me come. So she asks me what Jeff looks like, and I describe him to her. I find out the next day that whenever she or HB Brandi was near Jeff they would loudly say something like “…but I miss BPH!” Great stuff, this girl is awesome.

But yeah, this next week ended pretty nicely, but I’ll get into that later. This week on the other hand, sucked. Just gotta roll with the punches. I’m surprised I finished this journal in one sitting while I wait for my ride from the airport. Talk about productivity.

Pretty sure that’s about it SS, peace guys.
 

eastcoast15

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BPH said:
3/15/13 - 3/22/13 Week 30


It’s a good party, I see a few friends, start dancing with HB Adri on the table, but here’s the kicker…HB Robyn is here. I get down from the table and see her and go to say hi. I give her a hug, try to kiss her…no, try to dance with her…no. She tells me to go dance with the girl on the table, saying she looks like she wants it. I explain that this girl is just my friend and tell her that I can’t like her if she won’t let me. She just plugs in her iPod to play some of her own music and goes to dance with her friends. I say screw it and decide to dance with HB Rachael.

We leave, end of the night. I text HB Robyn the next 2 days, once a day, asking what her plans are. No reply so whatever.
Time to pull the plug on Robyn man. Shes just clearly not interested.

Sorry to hear that you got dropped though. Sucks
 

BPH

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eastcoast15 said:
Time to pull the plug on Robyn man. Shes just clearly not interested.

Sorry to hear that you got dropped though. Sucks
Yeah that's been done, and the fraternity thing sucks but whatever.

Getting lazy with my updates, almost 2 weeks behind. Will try to have something up tomorrow night. Peace.
 
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BPH said:
11/2/12 - 11/9/12 Week 12
Other things...I read some posts from goodlookingloser on this forum, and it made me wonder if I should upload some pictures of me so you can judge my appearance and style. Think that would be a good idea?
yup, its a good idea.

your looks-style is arguably responsible for 100% of the 1st impression/attraction that you make, provided you have reasonable social skills and don't come off weird.

nice log btw.. really quite thorough
 

BPH

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good looking loser said:
yup, its a good idea.

your looks-style is arguably responsible for 100% of the 1st impression/attraction that you make, provided you have reasonable social skills and don't come off weird.

nice log btw.. really quite thorough
I'll post some pictures later but right now I'm simply attempting to catch up. Without further ado...

3/22/13 - 3/29/13 Week 31

Alright so let's skip ahead through this school week, because I sure as hell don't remember it.

This upcoming weekend would be a 4-day weekend for Easter Break, and I was originally planning to go home and see my family, but those plans would change.

Let's start this week off with HB Robyn...I saw her Tuesday after class and talked to her a little bit about how she freaked out at that Delts party. She claimed to be fine and the reason she wouldn't text me over the weekend was because she was "sick". At the end of our conversation I told her I was leaving Thursday morning and asked if she wanted to hang out before then. She told me we could but it couldn't be anything sexual because she was still talking to her ex.

I texted her a little bit about coming to hang out the next day but she told me how she had exams in the morning, and the whole "movie night" we had planned out became a "let's get a bite to eat". At that point I texted her "don't worry, do your thing" and haven't heard from her since. Whatever.

Here's the good unexpected bit...

There's a girl I worked with on my Communication class project with for the past month named HB PaigeB. I don't think I've ever mentioned her in this journal. She's short, somewhere between cute and sexy, and has a good sense of humor. I never mentioned her because during one of our conversations about the group project she mentioned a boyfriend, so I wrote her off. Until Wednesday night...

She randomly hit me up and wanted to hang out. Originally I offered to go to Alex's place and drink with him since he had part of a case left. But he wanted to go to a hookah bar and that didn't seem like something I wanted to bring her to if I wanted to close, so here's what I did...

I hit up Brett and asked him to pick me up a few beers, he brings me 9. At this point this girl is double texting me, triple texting me, trying to tell me that we don't need the beer if it's what's keeping me late, and eventually I head over to her place. We sit in separate chairs and start watching a Korean monster movie I saw a trailer for called The Host, I thought it would be good, but it was all subtitled...so yeah...

Anyway we're watching the movie, laughing at how lame it is, and drinking, but I haven't made any moves. So after a while I ask her, "so, tell me, I remember you mentioning him once and I was just curious...do you have a boyfriend?" She told me she broke up with him a week or two ago and was glad I asked. After that I told her, "oh good, I was just curious because I've been wanting to do this...", lean in, makeout, this girl gets out of her chair, mounts me, and starts making out with me really passionately.

Partway through she tells me that she's on her period...but that it doesn't mean I won't be satisfied tonight. She proceeds to get undressed, gets off my clothes, and gives me some pretty good head. One thing I found strange was that this chick was the first one to ever not swallow.

It wasn't a weekend, meaning I had to be out of there before midnight, so we make out a bit more before she drove me back to my dorm and I went to sleep to wake up for my early flight the next morning.

Now if you read my last journal post you would know I didn't get on my plane...let me explain:

I was at the gate on time, despite some delays related to not getting my ticket to print properly. I ended up sitting in that airport for nearly 7 hours as each flight had the promise of empty seats, only to be filled 30 minutes before the flight. Flying free...it has its ups and it has its downs.

After that I headed back to the dorm, place was empty. Texted HB PaigeB since she told me she would be here until Sunday for church. She would be coming over Friday night to hang out, had work today.

Didn't do much in this ghost town. Ran 2 miles since the gym was closed every day, ate when I could, chilled with a few friends who were stuck with me. Had some beers, the usual.

Fast forward to Friday night. I cleaned up my room, I cleaned up Miles' room. He told me earlier in the year that I could hook up in his bed as long as I cleaned the sheets, and I was about to take him up on his offer.

HB PaigeB arrives, got her toothbrush and everything to spend the night, she read my mind. We start watching some movies on Netflix. We start making out really early, and that leads to some pretty good sex. I should mention she got off her period on Thursday.

After that we drank some beers, watched more of the movie, gave her a massage, f***ed her again, played some Mass Effect 3, f***ed her one last time, then got ready for bed and curled up with her for the night.

It was one of the best nights I've had here at college, hands down. Stephen started banging on the door at one point, and Miles texted me, apparently pissed off that I used his bed for this. But it was whatever. I found it funny that this girl has to pee after she has sex every time she has sex.

Woke up the next morning with her, made out some more, cuddled for a while, then walked her out to her car so she could go to work.

The rest of my break was pretty uneventful. When Miles got back I had already washed his sheets. He wasn't really upset, but he didn't want me to do it again. He didn't remember telling me that I could hook up in his room, but it's whatever.

So that was my weekend. I had more fun here than I ever could have had at home, and it didn't even involve parties.

This girl will come up in my next post but for now I don't feel like typing it up, so you'll have to deal with this for an update.

That's about it, peace.
 

BPH

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3/29/13 - 4/5/13 Week 32

I've had a lot of time to think. I figure I'll use some of that time to update my journal for the next 2 weeks...

Alright so let's pick up where I left off with that awesome weekend with HB PaigeB...

Pretty sure Sunday, Monday, and Wednesday I had this girl come to hang out and have sex. Monday she went with me to my cardio dance class...girl can move. Slapped my butt during some of the dances, a gay guy hit on me at the water fountain which was weird.

Anyway, on Wednesday, if any of you guys have seen my thread where I actually had a question, I decided to ask her out. That day she came by, gave her a massage, banged her brains out, and while I'm laying there with here I decided to pull the trigger.

It's weird what having options does to you. It didn't flow naturally when I asked her to be my girlfriend - it was one of those things I had to force myself to do, and the words almost got caught in my throat. She was a little surprised at first, but she accepted. We sat there and she got some stuff off her chest that she thought I should know before I start dating her...like that she had been r**ed on multiple occasions and was part of the reason she's now a nympho and is into rough sex. I felt sorry for her, but it didn't affect anything.

After that, she met Andrew and Miles and they couldn't believe that I had decided to tie myself down with a girlfriend. We hung out for a little while after, but she had work or something so that was that.

The following weekend was eventful and awesome.

Thursday I get a text from HB PaigeB asking me about my plans for the night. I didn't really have any, so she invited me to come with her friend Matt, a gay guy, to this guy, Juda's show at some bar.

Didn't really get drunk, but we drove over, watched the show, had a girl tell Matt that HB PaigeB's boyfriend AKA me, was "fine as hell" haha. After that ended we went around to a few clubs; Liquid Room was really empty so we were actually able to get our money back, and Sandbar turned out to be making renovations. We decided to get some beer, head back to Matt's place, and watch a movie, Cabin in the Woods.

Decent movie, got somewhat drunk. Eventually Matt went to bed, leaving HB PaigeB and I out there watching TV. We f***, she tells me we have to be quiet, but that doesn't really happen. I found out the next morning that she left me by myself on the couch because I took up too much room haha. She didn't have the best night's sleep.

Friday night was also pretty good. We went to this "party" with Matt again, a few gay guys and a bunch of people none of us knew. We pretty much brought the party though. Played some beer pong, had some beers, played some music. HB PaigeB is crazy...she's so spunky and random. One moment she's talking trash playing beer pong, the next she's trying to cut herself with a butcher knife, and finally she fashions a strap-on out of a toilet paper roll and some duct tape...

Matt, HB PaigeB's friend Jodi, and I all start taking shots from this vodka bottle. I'm talking about 7 shots or so in addition to the 4 beers I had. And these shots were all within like 20-30 minutes. I had some good pictures and made out with my girlfriend every now and then but I didn't remember too much of my night after that. I didn't remember leaving the party. I didn't remember who drove everybody to get food at Cook-Out, and I didn't remember how she was able to check me into her dorm. I didn't remember almost destroying a bookshelf at the party because I was drunk and fell onto it. And I didn't remember HB PaigeB giving me a piggyback ride where I fell forward and busted my chin.

I did remember that was the first time I've puked in over 6 years. It wasn't much but I still needed a bucket. After that, HB PaigeB took my pants and socks off, and I passed out.

Woke up, brushed my teeth, went into her room and slept with her. Bed is much more comfortable than the chair I passed out in. Had some breakfast with her after that at the dining hall then I think we parted ways.

Saturday was the night I got invited to the Delta Zeta formal by my friend Denise. I told HB PaigeB and I don't think she went out to anything that night. The formal itself wasn't BAD, but it was very BORING.

Imagine a prom without the fun dancing part. That's probably pretty close to how I would describe it...but since I never went to my school's prom this is all estimation.

Had like 3 and a half beers during the short pregame, hopped aboard a party bus and went to this country club with my date, Denise.

There we had a catered dinner, danced a little bit, and sobered up so damn fast. Some girls go little sorority awards and were all giddy over that, but for the guys it was pretty lame. Sober, bored, and horny isn't a good combination.

One of Denise's sorority sisters, HB Rosie, was all over me. Had to behave though, she actually had Denise bring me out to the dancefloor to dance with her at one point. But in my defense I was looking real sharp.

Wasn't anything else to really do after this formal, which ended at 11PM by the way. So I went back to my dorm, watched Pitch Perfect in the lounge with some girls before heading to bed.

My sleep was interrupted twice. Once, by HB Rachael who called from HB Adri's phone to tell me I had cute dimples, then again by HB Keely who texted me a really long "heyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy". I found out the next day that she was really horny and that I missed out on a great opportunity. But I have a girlfriend...

It's hard to behave man.

Anyway I think that's it for now, I'm kinda tired, so I'm gonna take a nap then I'll continue updating next week later. Peace.
 

LearningSlowly

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All good except for your excessive drinking. Have some self control about your alcohol intake. Be careful with your binges to avoid strains on yourself and your relationships.

Paige seems just your speed. Proud of you for settling in man.
 

Naughty Ninja

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BPH said:
3/29/13 - 4/5/13 Week 32

I've had a lot of time to think. I figure I'll use some of that time to update my journal for the next 2 weeks...

Alright so let's pick up where I left off with that awesome weekend with HB PaigeB...

Pretty sure Sunday, Monday, and Wednesday I had this girl come to hang out and have sex. Monday she went with me to my cardio dance class...girl can move. Slapped my butt during some of the dances, a gay guy hit on me at the water fountain which was weird.

Anyway, on Wednesday, if any of you guys have seen my thread where I actually had a question, I decided to ask her out. That day she came by, gave her a massage, banged her brains out, and while I'm laying there with here I decided to pull the trigger.

It's weird what having options does to you. It didn't flow naturally when I asked her to be my girlfriend - it was one of those things I had to force myself to do, and the words almost got caught in my throat. She was a little surprised at first, but she accepted. We sat there and she got some stuff off her chest that she thought I should know before I start dating her...like that she had been r**ed on multiple occasions and was part of the reason she's now a nympho and is into rough sex. I felt sorry for her, but it didn't affect anything.

After that, she met Andrew and Miles and they couldn't believe that I had decided to tie myself down with a girlfriend. We hung out for a little while after, but she had work or something so that was that.

The following weekend was eventful and awesome.

Thursday I get a text from HB PaigeB asking me about my plans for the night. I didn't really have any, so she invited me to come with her friend Matt, a gay guy, to this guy, Juda's show at some bar.

Didn't really get drunk, but we drove over, watched the show, had a girl tell Matt that HB PaigeB's boyfriend AKA me, was "fine as hell" haha. After that ended we went around to a few clubs; Liquid Room was really empty so we were actually able to get our money back, and Sandbar turned out to be making renovations. We decided to get some beer, head back to Matt's place, and watch a movie, Cabin in the Woods.

Decent movie, got somewhat drunk. Eventually Matt went to bed, leaving HB PaigeB and I out there watching TV. We f***, she tells me we have to be quiet, but that doesn't really happen. I found out the next morning that she left me by myself on the couch because I took up too much room haha. She didn't have the best night's sleep.

Friday night was also pretty good. We went to this "party" with Matt again, a few gay guys and a bunch of people none of us knew. We pretty much brought the party though. Played some beer pong, had some beers, played some music. HB PaigeB is crazy...she's so spunky and random. One moment she's talking trash playing beer pong, the next she's trying to cut herself with a butcher knife, and finally she fashions a strap-on out of a toilet paper roll and some duct tape...

Matt, HB PaigeB's friend Jodi, and I all start taking shots from this vodka bottle. I'm talking about 7 shots or so in addition to the 4 beers I had. And these shots were all within like 20-30 minutes. I had some good pictures and made out with my girlfriend every now and then but I didn't remember too much of my night after that. I didn't remember leaving the party. I didn't remember who drove everybody to get food at Cook-Out, and I didn't remember how she was able to check me into her dorm. I didn't remember almost destroying a bookshelf at the party because I was drunk and fell onto it. And I didn't remember HB PaigeB giving me a piggyback ride where I fell forward and busted my chin.

I did remember that was the first time I've puked in over 6 years. It wasn't much but I still needed a bucket. After that, HB PaigeB took my pants and socks off, and I passed out.

Woke up, brushed my teeth, went into her room and slept with her. Bed is much more comfortable than the chair I passed out in. Had some breakfast with her after that at the dining hall then I think we parted ways.

Saturday was the night I got invited to the Delta Zeta formal by my friend Denise. I told HB PaigeB and I don't think she went out to anything that night. The formal itself wasn't BAD, but it was very BORING.

Imagine a prom without the fun dancing part. That's probably pretty close to how I would describe it...but since I never went to my school's prom this is all estimation.

Had like 3 and a half beers during the short pregame, hopped aboard a party bus and went to this country club with my date, Denise.

There we had a catered dinner, danced a little bit, and sobered up so damn fast. Some girls go little sorority awards and were all giddy over that, but for the guys it was pretty lame. Sober, bored, and horny isn't a good combination.

One of Denise's sorority sisters, HB Rosie, was all over me. Had to behave though, she actually had Denise bring me out to the dancefloor to dance with her at one point. But in my defense I was looking real sharp.

Wasn't anything else to really do after this formal, which ended at 11PM by the way. So I went back to my dorm, watched Pitch Perfect in the lounge with some girls before heading to bed.

My sleep was interrupted twice. Once, by HB Rachael who called from HB Adri's phone to tell me I had cute dimples, then again by HB Keely who texted me a really long "heyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy". I found out the next day that she was really horny and that I missed out on a great opportunity. But I have a girlfriend...

It's hard to behave man.

Anyway I think that's it for now, I'm kinda tired, so I'm gonna take a nap then I'll continue updating next week later. Peace.
B just be careful and aware of that r@pe stuff your girl brought up and also that cutting herself with a knife? WTF? Chick could turn out to have serious issues so now that came out be careful with her in the future. If you start seeing red flags keep popping up I'd be out because being "raped" on several occassions (If she was or wasn't and that cutting stuff isn't a good look at all.) Peace.
 

BPH

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LearningSlowly said:
All good except for your excessive drinking. Have some self control about your alcohol intake. Be careful with your binges to avoid strains on yourself and your relationships.

Paige seems just your speed. Proud of you for settling in man.
This is nothing compared to earlier in the year. As the year comes to a close there are less parties to go to and therefore less drinking. HB PaigeB is a cool girl, but I'm new to relationships and this next week she was on her period so it kinda sucked...

4/5/13 - 4/12/13 Week 33

Alright this update will be shorter than the last because it was much less eventful.

First of all it's kinda cute with HB PaigeB, she sees me Tuesdays and Thursday for breakfast before my class, and on Monday and Wednesday she sits behind me in my Communications class and she messes with my hair and stuff.

It was really hot all week, and we both decided to go to the beach on Wednesday and skip our class. That was a pretty fun day. I went in the water, threw the football around with her, and later on Miles and Andrew came with a bunch of the fraternity guys. We got a decent-sized football game going which we won before they got lazy and wanted to get themselves some beers.

Now like I mentioned earlier, this was her period week, and that kinda sucked. Wednesday after the beach I came back with her and she sucked me off in her dorm shower which was fun. I feel a little more attached to this girl than she does to me, but I'm not entirely sure. Over the weekend she opted for homework over hanging out on 2 of the 3 prime party days. Nothing serious, but just surprising, those 2 of 3 nights were pretty lonely, but I'll get more into that in a sec...

First let me remind you that my girlfriend had been r**ed, this year even. At breakfast on Thursday she actually recognized one of the guys that did this to her. Name is Keaten, and she pointed him out to me. Thinking back I should have been more straightforward...but I went right up to him and tried to see if I could get him to be my boxing partner or if I could teach him so I could knock the crap out of him. Of course he declined. I later got his number from a friend and found out where he lived on campus. I was so furious that this happened...not just because this was my girlfriend but because f***s like this are the reason we have broken and damaged women in our world. I wanted to destroy this guy. But as the day went on I didn't have details from HB PaigeB about what happened, nor did I want to pressure her for them. I told her that I won't do anything she doesn't want me to do, but that if I see him even approach her that I will hospitalize him. I feel like I fleshed this out enough, I told Lefty more, but if you guys want me to elaborate on this, I can do so in a future post.

Alright so Thursday night was pretty dead. Sandbar was still being remodeled, Liquid Room wasn't getting much attention, and Fibbers was the place to be. I, however, did not feel like spending the money to pregame, get a taxi/find a friend to DD, and sit at a bar chatting with people instead of dancing. I found out the next day that some of my friends that went got really drunk off the free beer that night because they were able to wash off their underage marks on their hands.

Friday was even worse because there was literally NOTHING to do. No parties, no nightlife, nothing that anybody had heard of. I think a few people went up to the quads to drink, but otherwise nothing. Pretty sure ATO had a closed thing that I couldn't go to. These were the 2 nights HB PaigeB couldn't come hang out.

Now before I get into Saturday, know this...

I have a cousin named Jessie, I would call her HB Jessie because she's attractive, but since she's my cousin there's no reason to refer to her in the same way as somebody I would f***. She was planning to come down to UNCW from ECU with 3 of her friends to enjoy the beach, go out for a night, and have a good time. I thought I could provide that good time, but plans change.

Also something weird...the night before this I had a terrible dream where I had sex with a random girl...then later in the dream, remembered that I had a girlfriend and freaked out because I don't want to be a cheater. Then I woke up and was so relieved...

Anyway...

Let me give you some background information on what was going on tonight...

A Delta Tau Delta initiation party that my friend Ryan, a pledge, invited me to.

The Alpha Tau Omega initiation party that I knew I wouldn't be allowed to go to.

A guy on Rill Road's birthday, which would be a house party with a few kegs.

I originally planned to go to the Delts initiation party, but as the night got closer to party time, I found out through the actual brothers that the party was a closed thing and that I couldn't go since I was a guy. I double-checked with Ryan and he apologized, and confirmed what I had already found out.

HB PaigeB was about to get off work, and my cousin and her friends were getting ready to go out at my dorm, so plans changed and we decided to head over to the Rill Road party. They're always good times...usually.

I had the HARDEST time figuring out rides and getting alcohol for these party, since the one I originally planned to go to was supposed to have unlimited alcohol. I ended up getting a bunch of beers and a few of the people I planned to go with ended up going to the ATO initiation instead. One of these girls was HB Lauren (LaurenA if I mentioned another in this journal before). This is the girl Alex had been hooking up with for a while. She told me that he was a little upset because he thought she wasn't going to their initiation because I wasn't invited. To test this, I asked him if he could do me a beer run, he replied with a flat "No". So I guess HB LaurenA caved and went to his party instead.

The final tally was myself, Jessie and her 3 friends, along with HB PaigeB and her roommate Jodi. Jessie's friend Greg would be DD and we would make 2 trips to get everybody to the Rill Road party.

We get there, I bust out my 12-case and start drinking and passing around beers to those of us that need a buzz. My girlfriend and her roommate already had some stuff to drink, so they didn't need it as much.

Now here's where this night gets dramatic and goes to s***...

After about a half hour being at the party I didn't see HB PaigeB or Jodi anywhere in the house. I figured they were having their fun at first, but after not being able to find them I texted HB PaigeB and asked her where she was. She told me she had bad news...she and her roommate got arrested...

When I read that, my jaw dropped for a good 2 or 3 minutes. I had no idea what to do about that, and felt responsible since I brought her to this party. A fight broke out a little before this and maybe 10 minutes later there are cops at the door. This was the second time they had to come to this house, so I decided to leave with my cousin and her friends. Problem was, I only had 4 beers, and there was a lot left in the case. My friend Hailey offered to watch over the case, since she thought it would be a better idea to stay in the house rather than leave and risk getting a ticket. I trusted her.

I called my girlfriend and texted her a few times and didn't hear back. I feared the worst. My cousin drove me back to my dorm and told me she and her friends would stay at this beach house for the night.

I went up into the dorm depressed as hell...my girlfriend got arrested, the good night I was supposed to show my cousin turned into a near-misdemeanor, and my alcohol was gone.

I went up to HB Angela's room, a girl in my dorm with a boyfriend, and kinda vented for a little bit. She had a fight with her boyfriend earlier that day so she could kinda sympathize. She drove me to Cook-Out so I could get myself some food and listened to my story about tonight, as well as my disappointment with my friends, and she was able to shed some light on why I was dropped from my fraternity. I don't remember the details but she told me some girl in a sorority was trying to defend her boyfriend or something by complaining about me...I don't know, but seemed like she knew the cause.

I start eating my meal in the TV lounge and I get a text message...from HB PaigeB. We text back and forth a little and I learn that she didn't get arrested...she was just really drunk walking past a cop car and thought she would be getting in trouble...I found out that she left the party because some guy licked her and followed her outside talking about how she smelled good. She didn't tell me because she knew I would have kicked his a** and didn't want a fight going on at the party.

I ended up walking to her dorm to see her because I was first, worried sick, then later, a little disappointed that she couldn't tell me what happened. She apologized and told me it wouldn't happen again. She got on my lap and we started making out before going into her common room, where Jodi was sleeping, I spent the night, cuddling with her. Quite nice. Relationships...I don't know if I like them, they certainly have their ups and downs.

Today I realized how little I can rely on anybody aside from myself. I wasn't very social, didn't really interact with Miles or Andrew, didn't eat with Alex. He wanted to explain himself but I wasn't really feeling it. I figure I'll get some work done today...like these journal updates.

From getting excluded from the housing assignment...to not being invited to their parties...to not being able to count on them to help me get a ride or alcohol or something...it's starting to suck a little here.

Well that's my life...I guess this update was a little longer than I expected, but at least I'm caught up.

Peace.
 

LearningSlowly

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A big contributor in college rape is... ALCOHOL. I expect a lot of it was involved when Paige had her issues. This does not diminish the evilness that is rape.

Alcohol is not a very good drug. You are a better person on 6 beers than you are on 12.
 

BPH

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This was a really rough week, so if you guys actually read my journal I would appreciate some replies to this particular post...

4/12/13 - 4/19/13 Week 34

Alright so let's do a quick run-through of my week before we get to the part I want to tell you guys about...

This has been one hell of a rough week. Lots of homework, tests, project preparation, all kinds of stuff.

On Wednesday I sparred with Alex and kinda got my tail whipped...I'm talking a bloody nose, busted lip, scrapes near my eyes...and this isn't even a full-on sparring match. I felt pretty bad about that, I know the guy is a lot more experienced, but it's still demoralizing.

Anyway, that brings me to HB PaigeB...

Wednesday was the first day I noticed some weird stuff with her...very subtle stuff, but still noticed. At around 9ish that night HB PaigeB, her roommate Jodi, and her gay friend Matt. I was sitting in the lounge till about 9:30ish before I went to get a drink at the fountain, and saw they were all seated in the kitchen waiting to eat. I thought it was weird that nobody tried to look for me to tell me to come eat, but I didn't pay it much mind...

Thursday was the bad day.

It was a fine day and everything, but it ended terribly. Originally HB PaigeB and her friends from last night were going to go to Liquid Room, but instead they decided they would go to this gay club, Ibiza. That was fine, I didn't want to pay to go to something like that, so I let her do her thing. Then she recommended I go to Fibber's with Kelvin for some free beer, and since Jodi was trying to hook up with him, she told me they would meet us there around 11 or 11:30. Sounded good to me.

Well I'm there with Kelvin getting drunk that night. I texted her around midnight asking where she was at, no reply, found out later that she left her phone in the dorm. Kelvin starts getting texts from Jodi close to 3AM telling him that they'll be back at the dorm soon. So we get a ride back to her dorm, and sit there chilling in her dorm's lobby...

And this is where things start getting strange...

HB PaigeB and her friends stroll in, flash their cards to the receptionist, and head up to their room without even looking in our direction. Kelvin and I thought this was weird, but we just followed them up the to their floor.

They start walking down the hallway and instead of going to her room, HB PaigeB and Jodi duck into this other girl's room and lock the door...even weirder. Kelvin and I hang out in this room that joins to her room and sit there with her friend Matt. He passes out after a little while and I hoist him up on to a bed.

HB PaigeB finally leaves that room and starts talking to this guy trying to sleep while I'm just standing in the doorway waiting for her to acknowledge me. She just walks past me, the guy gets up and locks his door, she comes back with her girl friends knocking on the door, but he doesn't answer. I think the most she does is mention to a few of the girls that I'm BPH....

I head back to that room where Matt passed out and I see HB PaigeB and Jodi getting ready for bed. They're walking past me, not looking me in the eye, not talking to me, nothing. They start getting into bed, she invites Kelvin to come lay in there with them for a little bit, but after a few minutes he leaves and goes back to his own room.

I'm left there...standing in her door...looking over at her...waiting for her to acknowledge that I'm here at her dorm at 4 in the morning. But she never does. I decide not to try and stay the night. She has this whiteboard next to her door, I use it to write "Thanks for the 'awesome' night. Signed, BPH". This comes up later...

After that I start walking down the hallway and a few of the girls she locked herself in with earlier as well as my friend Andrew from her dorm are up awake. We get into some conversation and he tells me that HB PaigeB doesn't refer to me as her boyfriend...just as BPH. After that the girls ask me if I'm BPH. When I say yes they start to slowly close their door, so I ask them if that's a bad thing...they tell me maybe.

After this, I walk home and go to bed.

The next day I'm surprised to not have heard from HB PaigeB following last night. Surely she must have seen the whiteboard sign and wondered what she did last night. But no text, no nothing. I don't really pay it much mind for a while...

But then my friend HB Adri calls me up and tells me she posted something on Instagram that I couldn't see since I didn't have an Instagram. It was a picture of the "Thanks for the 'awesome' night" whiteboard with the caption "YOU'RE WELCOME", following by hashtags like #hespissed #dontrememberthis #sorry #notreally and a bunch of other stuff along those lines.

I told a few friends about this, including some from SS, and asked how to proceed. I came to the conclusion that I needed to sit down with this girl and talk. So I was the first to text, and after bringing up the need to talk she told me she didn't have time for this and wouldn't do it tonight.

That night I went to Fibbers again, crappy weather coupled with nothing to do on a Friday night turned into a pretty lame thing.

Saturday I told HB PaigeB we still needed to talk. She takes a while...but responds with a paragraph about how she can't worry about somebody else's emotions, and how this relationship is a joke compared to some of her other ones she had been in and that breaking up would be fine by her...

This conversation went back and forth for a while. It was mostly me getting mad that she would do this over text instead of having the decency to talk face-to-face. She tells me that she never thought it was a serious relationship and thinks I should have taken her out on more dates. Some of her reasons made a little sense, but I was so upset that this girl wouldn't see me in person. She told me I was treating this whole thing like a girl does, but I just felt so disrespected...

If I handled it differently I might have been able to make her a friend with benefits...but I was too pissed off at how she went about this that I just wanted to cut ties with her. Deleted her number, didn't text her back, removed her from Facebook...the works...

That night I went to East Carolina University with my friends to have some fun and stay with my cousin. That was a lame night, but I'll spare that because my mind is on this whole HB PaigeB thing. She may or may not have texted me the next day, I got a text from a random number, but that was after I deleted all of her information. Asked who it was, no reply.

This is going to cut into this current school week, but I want to know what I should have done, what I should do, etc...

In class we don't talk to each other at all, she leaves out of a different door, sits in a different spot when I come in for breakfast. That was all fine, I cared about this girl but I was getting close to getting over her. But then I found out some information today that got me even angrier...

First, my friend Andrew from Thursday told me that she told him that we weren't even dating, that I never asked her out, always invited myself to stuff, and basically denied that we even did anything.

Second, my friend HB Adri told me that there was a girl in her class asking if she knew HB PaigeB. She told my friend that apparently on that Saturday night...hours after we broke up, that she went to a soccer party and got railed by 2 different guys at the same time...

I know I shouldn't care...but this makes me so angry. I feel like I opened myself up to somebody and tried to give relationships a shot since the crappy one I had back in high school turned me off to them. And I'm sitting here, thinking that I don't deserve this from this girl.

When I see her, like I did tonight at the library, I get angry. My pulse speeds up, I get hot, it sucks.

So I'm asking you guys, how do I end this? Do I have to stop her and talk to her in person tomorrow? Do I need to have closure or something?

I'm really not enjoying this, and "just get over her" hasn't been working the best for me so far. So I'm asking you guys what to do here.

I don't want her back, though she was good in bed. I'm not sad or anything, but I'm very upset at her and I'm having trouble getting over her.

Help me out sosuave, I could use it.
 

LearningSlowly

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I'm sure what you did wrong in the relationship was be too masculine and not enough feminine. Having some connection with your feminine side helps in committed relationships (you can anticipate her needs, enjoy your time with her friends, and understand her before she understands herself).

That being said, she broke up with you over text. This is one of many red flags that this girl has no idea how to actually love someone. She is egoic and entitled and scared. She is not worth any attention because she is so emotionally unstable.

You don't need to go around bad mouthing her. She will do it to herself (railed by 2 guys? Who will respect her after hearing that story?). The trouble for your reputation is not what she says about you, but the fact that you dated her in the first place.

Relax, finish your semester with strong grades, and continue forward without giving her any more thought.
 

BPH

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4/19/13 - 4/26/13 Week 35

Alright it's been a while so I guess I should try to update this thing...

This weekend was my last week of serious partying before exams, Saturday was also my birthday, so let's get into it.

During the week I cold approached this hot girl in Alpha Gamma Delta who's name is apparently HB Adrienne. I went up to her in the dining hall and it went well, tried to add her on Facebook, no dice. Nothing happens with her, but just felt like mentioning that.

Thursday and Friday I actually can't really remember, so I guess I'll just skip to my birthday.

This was the first birthday I spent away from home and it was both fun, and not fun at the same time. Allow me explain.

It was my birthday, but aside from a bunch of Facebook posts on my page it didn't really feel special. I went out for a dinner at Hooters with a bunch of my girl friends at the dorm, but I paid for my own meal, and booze later that night. All that kinda stuff.

Saturday was also initiation night for all my pledge buddies in ATO, and they all wanted me to get really drunk at their initiation party at one of the alumni brothers' houses. There's also this desk receptionist at the dorm named HB Emma that I invited to come to the party that night. I had also been talking to HB Robyn recently and tried to invite her over. It doesn't go quite as planned.

I get to the party with a bunch of my friends; Brett, Miles, Andrew, Stephen, Thomas, everybody. We roll in, and I start downing beer after beer with the occasional wine. It's also Kristen's birthday and she gets wasted real early. I have to carry her over to a bucket while she tells everybody that she's fine and won't puke.

I text HB Robyn for a while, but she's working late and doesn't end up coming.

I text HB Keely but she declines for a reason I don't remember.

After a while HB Emma shows up, seemed pretty sober. I handed her my beer while I got myself another and make out with her for a little bit. She's with a friend and when I invite her to hang out afterwards she says no because she has to get up early for work.

I'm having fun though. I play Wobble on somebody's phone that's hooked up to the speakers and do the dance. I meet this cute girl but I don't remember her name. Probably could have hooked up with her if I tried, but I was pursuing the other girls I mentioned above.

It was a good night until I had a conversation with this guy named Cliff. He was on of the guys HB PaigeB claimed had r***d her. I wasn't confronting him, but I just asked him about her. He told me that she kept me around because I was good in bed, they had a thing early in the first semester but she was just really crazy, might have a sex tape with some guy, and is the second person to tell me that she banged 2 dudes at a party the night we broke up.

After I heard this I was a little slighted, but didn't really care until later.

Cops came to the door and the third keg was done so I decided to leave with some of the girls from my dorm along with Stephen and his friend Ryan. I'm drunk but I'm walking kinda upset both because I didn't hook up with a girl on my birthday, and because I was reminded once again about how much of a wh*** HB PaigeB was.

I got back to the dorm with the girls and brought my laptop out to the kitchen with them while they ate. WARNING, YOU ARE ABOUT TO READ A VERY AFC THING THAT I DID. I URGE YOU NOT TO REPEAT IT.

I was drunk, upset, and because of that combination, I became a little overly dramatic. I decided to type her a message on Facebook. I didn't expect her to reply, I didn't care if she did, but I was upset and I needed to break no contact to vent. The message I typed her goes like this:

"I don't know if it's because I'm drunk or if it's because the more I talk to people the more pissed off I get, but you did a f***ing number on me, congratulations. You could have just said no and we could have been friends with benefits, but you said yes, and I gave a relationship a real shot. The more I hear about you the more it pisses me off and it's a f***ing shame because I did give you a real chance."

Notice that I was not so drunk that I couldn't spell properly. But yes I'm sure that played a part. After that I fell asleep for a couple minutes at the computer as some of my friends get back.HB Adri, Stephen, Ryan, and Andrew all get back.

I don't remember what started it, but I began to cry. Not sobbing and bawling but hot tears of frustration. I was upset at my ex, I was upset that I didn't bring back a girl to help me get my mind off my ex, and I was upset that this birthday didn't really feel special.

So I cried in front of my friends and it was the first time I had ever done so. They all felt terrible and tried to console me and cheer me up about how I deserve better and stuff. It was really nice to receive that kind of support from people I've only known 2 semesters.

Surprisingly, the most supportive person was Stephen. He told me that night that his on and off girlfriend cheated on him. He found out and for 3 nights he would end up in the stairway crying and listening to sad music. He knew how I felt. I wasn't really attached to this girl, but damn it sucks when I give something like this an effort and I get treated like crap.

He hugged it out with me and I went to bed soon after. A lot of the people in the dorm heard about that event and asked me if I wanted to talk about it. I told some the story, but after a while I didn't feel like reciting it. I know this was very chumpy of me and I expect some criticism, but this was just a bad moment. Understand it, sympathize with it, but don't repeat it.

The next day my mom gave me some birthday money so I went with some friends to see Pain & Gain. Decent movie. I'll update for this next week since I have some time. Separate post, c ya guys in a few.

EDIT: I remember Friday I went with my friend Ryan to a Delts party. It wasn't a big party and I didn't get THAT drunk, but it was the night of my birthday so I got some free beers here and there. Got a ride back at like 2:30 and just decided to crash at his dorm. Nothing eventful, but I remembered that party so I figured I would post it up.
 
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BPH

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4/16/13 - 5/3/13 Week 36

Alright so this is Finals Week and was easily the worst school week of my life.

Monday I didn't have any finals so I didn't really do anything that day but study.

Tuesday I had my Religion final and my Health make up test. Religion was hard as hell. Health was a little more manageable.

Wednesday I didn't have anything. I was talking to this girl HB Meghan recently. She gave me her number way back from the night of the busted rugby party when she was with my friend Taylor and her twin. I had creeped on her Facebook a little bit and saw some pictures of her with a guy with lovey dovey captions and comments. I assumed this was her boyfriend but she didn't tell me anything so I pursued.

We set up a date to go see a movie on Wednesday since I didn't have any exams. So we went to see G.I. Joe Retaliation. Awful movie by the way, don't go see it. This girl was a lot dorkier when she wasn't dressed up in her party clothes, but she still looked good and had the body and everything so I figured I'd give it a shot.

When we got to the theater there was only 2 people in there, literally. She knew what was up, we walked to the back row and got situated. After like a half hour or something I made my move for the make out. Receptive, into it, all that good stuff. We made out on and off during the movie. When it finally ended we decided to head back to her dorm to hang out for a little bit.

Got in and met her roommate who left soon after. Made out on her bed and stuff and she told me that we wouldn't be having sex, I said that was fine. Got her top off, and I tried to finger her but her jeans were on real tight and she wanted to keep her pants on so whatever. Apparently she got out of a relationship just as recently as I had. Hers was several years long though. We talked in between making out, gave her one of my massages - I'm telling you guys, learn to give good massages, it's a great talent. Awesome body, huge breasts for such a thin girl.

After a little while I had to head back to knock out some homework so she drove me back and that was that. We planned to go get ice cream the next night.

Thursday I had my terrible History final at 8AM. That was hell to study for and take. Also had my Spanish exam later that day. Didn't do all that well on it but my grade in that class was so high that I could afford to take a hit. Left that room feeling happy as all hell. 4 finals down, 2 to go.

Got ice cream with this girl and chatted about embarrassing stories and stuff, like how I got my scars. Made out here and there and went back to her place again. This time her roommate and one of her roommate's friends were there. So we kissed back and forth a little bit, told some more stories, then she dropped me back off at my dorm. Her roommate was going out, but HB Meghan might be headed home in the morning, so she stayed in. Just in time too.

I get back and Brett, Miles, Andrew, Chris, and I are all in Miles' room pregaming to go to Sandbar for the last time. Thomas was in there playing Fight Night Champion and told me that if I could knock him out just once out of three fights, that he would drive us all to Sandbar instead of having to take a cab.

First round I was Ali and he was Tyson, ran out of stamina too fast. Got knocked down three times, knocked him down once, and survived all the rounds, but lost decision. Next round I was Tyson and he was Ali, didn't run out of stamina very fast so I knocked him out real quick. Everybody freaked out and Thomas ended up giving us the ride.

Consequently, I hadn't had much time to drink and had to down what I could as fast as I could. I also had to make my own white wristband out of paper so I wouldn't have to pay. Worked out well.

But when I got to Sandbar I had a great time. Danced with HB Adri, HB Megan, and whatever other girls were around that I wanted to dance with. There was this one girl HB Cindy who took down my number but never ended up texting me. Whatever, that was fine. Andrew was in a bad mood the whole time, couldn't get him out of it. But I had fun, super hot in that place, I always end up getting sweaty.

Friday HB Meghan stayed until Saturday morning, so I decided to see her one last time before the summer. Went over to her place, and her roommate along with a friend are in there with her on her last night. They start to watch a movie and don't plan to go out. I made out with her a little bit and she walked me down but I left after that to head to my last real party. She texted me later that night wishing me a good summer. Sweet girl.

Anyway this was my last time to get really drunk so I planned to get HAMMERED. I mixed a LOT of vodka with Hawaiian Punch in a big ole glass while I played quarters. Instead of taking one big gulp when I lost, I chugged my drink. Ended up getting like 3 refills, so I got REALLY drunk. It was a fun night though. There was this girl who was a friend of a girl at my dorm named HB Olivia. I tried to get with her unsuccessfully, was a little too aggressive in my drunken stupor, but it's all good.

Danced on tables, took some pictures, went and got the last drunken Cook-Out that I would get that year. Don't remember how I got home that night, but I ended up my bed and woke up with a pretty nice hangover. Overall a very successful night and a fun party.

I think that's it, I'll go edit my last post, but otherwise, peace.
 
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Blistex

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BPH said:
So we went to see G.I. Joe Retaliation. Awful movie by the way, don't go see it.
Yep, it's not as good as the first. It really lacked character development and I didn't like where the story was headed and what they did with some of the original characters.
 

BPH

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5/3/13 - 5/10/13 Week 37

Alright, this hasn't really been a very eventful couple of weeks, but I'll update this thing for the sake of updating it.

The last few days at the dorm were kinda sad. I was there until Wednesday so I had to say goodbye to each one of them as they left and it was something of a drawn out experience.

My last friend was probably my closest, seeing as he was my first good friend here, Brett. The day he left we cracked a beer in my dorm room as I was unpacking, had the door wide open without a care in the world about being caught. When I actually said goodbye to him and he turned on his car to leave it started to rain for dramatic effect. I'll miss that guy.

The next few days the only thing I really looked forward to was seeing HB Robyn. But she got delayed one day, then two, then on the third day she chose to party with some of her girlfriend instead of coming to hang out at my cousin's place. That was fine.

I went to bed early and woke up to fly home for the summer. Didn't ever hear from HB Robyn after that.

Getting home was a very sobering experience. My parents treated me to some food, it was nice to see my family, but I knew I was coming home to few friends and even fewer girls.

My family celebrated my birthday on Mother's Day, which was nice. I have around $800 and I think I know how I want to spend it, but I'll get into that next post.

I believe that's all for now.
 
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