//The Chronicles of BPH\\

[LearningSlowly]

But I'm not afraid to walk away from this, and have done it before.

Maybe that's why you aren't getting played.

I don't mean to have this argument with you over and over. Volleyball has been less than ideal for you, after you seemed really motivated to get in shape for it before the season. But the true team player would say "Its great! We won the game!" not "It sucked. Im being disrespected. He didn't play me until we were about to win."

Try to change his mind this week. Give it everything in practice, and see if he'll play you in your next game. Then give everything in game and prove that it was the right choice. If you play great in practice and he doesn't play you in game, that sounds unfair.

 

[BPH]

Maybe that's why you aren't getting played.

I don't mean to have this argument with you over and over. Volleyball has been less than ideal for you, after you seemed really motivated to get in shape for it before the season. But the true team player would say "Its great! We won the game!" not "It sucked. Im being disrespected. He didn't play me until we were about to win."

Try to change his mind this week. Give it everything in practice, and see if he'll play you in your next game. Then give everything in game and prove that it was the right choice. If you play great in practice and he doesn't play you in game, that sounds unfair.

That's what is happening and is the reason that I'm pissed about it.

Anyway...

5/11/12

School was a regular day, so nothing worth mentioning there.

Now practice was something worth mentioning...

I was in a generally pissed off mood. As a result I wouldn't speak a word or engage any of my teammates until it was absolutely necessary near the end of practice. I was super quiet and focused, and was playing quite well.

There was a drill where I was a blocker and I was able to touch 1 of every 2 or 3 balls, most of them staying in bounds and dropping back onto the opposing team's side.

We also won a game called King of the Court, I say WE because it was a team of Pat and I, and Pat is a very out of shape guy, albeit a good passer. This was the only time I coordinated with a teammate or spoke.

At the end of practice I did have my talk with the coach. Nothing unexpected was said. He told me he couldn't guarantee me play time just because I asked for it, says my blocking still isn't good (and by good he means not perfect...as in the ball doesn't drop straight down on their side...which nobody on my team consistently does), and was "offended" that I would be selfish and not come to a game because I might not play. My rationalization didn't change his opinion, as expected. So I don't really know what I'm going to do on Monday...I'll probably go, even though by the end of the game I'm sure I'll be asking myself why I did.

Aside from that I just chilled on the Xbox and collected senior week money from 2 more of my friends. So now we can make the deposit while we wait for the other 2 to pay.

That's about it for now, peace.

 

[BPH]

5/12/12

Today was alright, I went to hang out with HB Esther a little after noon. We decided to go to the gym and do a quick workout before I brought her to a somewhat secluded place to mess around.

But I didn't f*** her this time.

I just couldn't get to the point where I want to tear this girl's clothes off. Her lips were chapped and she wasn't kissing very well. Then there's that round Asian face and her accent with broken grammar. So we were making out behind this house that people haven't lived in for a while and I was planning to f*** her right there outside. But it was a little awkward and I just wasn't feeling it, so I let it be awkward and gave her a ride home, short makeout, then she left.

Makes me wonder if I'll want to f*** her again at Senior Week...

I didn't do my actual workout since I had done a little one with HB Esther. Wasn't my actual routine, just testing to see how soft I had gotten. I can do 17 reps on 135lbs for a bench press, which is less than the 20 I used to easily be able to do.

Didn't go to the mall today because my family went to visit my dying grandfather, the fact that he's been alive this long is pretty miraculous in itself.

Went to Pat's Pizzeria after for dinner. We had a cute waitress/cashier, so I pulled some corny sh**...I asked her for a pen and wrote my number down on a napkin. At the end of the dinner I gave it to her. Still haven't heard from her

That's about it for today, I'll update for Mother's Day when I get to school.

 

[BPH]

5/13/12

Alright so yeah, Mother's Day. My mom wanted us to do yardwork for our grandparents that we visited yesterday.

So we spent a couple hours mowing lawn and removing the pool cover. Got pizza later that day. I also number closed this cute girl mowing her family's lawn. Never knew she was my grandparents' neighbor. But that close didn't last long...

I started texting her a few hours later to see if she could hang out today, and it went something like this:

Me: Hey. It's BPH
Her: Hey
Me: Hey what are you doing later today?
Her: Today well I have a family dinner at my aunts house... Since it's mothers day.
Me: Ok. Is there a time today that youre free?
Her: Well I'm out right now why what's up?
Me: Oh cool. You should come hang out
Her: Well here's the thing...I have a bf & I'm at his work for lunch now I'm sorry
Me: Ahh. Thats too bad
Her: Eh, not really lol
Me (took advice from Learning here): Youre right. Im sure you guys are in a great relationship, we can still hang
Her (not really): Nope, she's good bro

This girl wasn't giving me the best eye contact when I closed her, although she didn't shy away from my touch...had bad vibes anyway and they were right. Instincts never lie.

Anyway I just played this game on the computer called Kingdom Rush the rest of the day and watched 11/11/11 with my family...which was stupid.

That's about it though, peace.

 

[BPH]

5/14/12

Not too much for today. I received Senior Week money from HB Esther this morning. So we now have $1500 towards our room. Now we just need to make sure we have supplies, the deposit placed, and transportation. Shouldn't be a problem. My natural friend Nick suggested I bring air mattresses for girls I would bring home. Alternatively, I could always f*** on the beach at night.

Otherwise the school day was normal.

I did decide to go to my volleyball game, and I regretted it as expected. The coach told me he gave what I said some thought, and sees me as a valuable member of the team and a very versatile player. Then he told me that without me, he wouldn't be able to run some of the drills at practice, because he can't jump as high or hit as hard as me. This was disappointing, that he doesn't see my value beyond a practice tool. He also gave me a story about how one of our crappier players, Pat, was a JV/Varsity split player and said he would rather sit the bench on Varsity than play JV at all. It's like he expects me to be honored to be on a team that I barely get to play for.

He played me in the 2nd and 3rd out of the 5 sets that we played. Both times we had a substantial lead and had less than 5 points keeping us from a win. But in the 5th set to 15 he didn't play me at all. It's like he doesn't trust me to perform. So I had to sit and watch my team lose because the hitters were smacking the balls right into blocks.

I feel like I have to do something different, not quit, but not waste my time.

Anyway there's an alumni game tomorrow (which is actually today) and two championship games left. And I doubt I'll play in either of the latter two. I'll have to figure something out, because I can't wait for this season to end.

My mom also signed me up for something along the lines of a modeling casting call. Problem is that it's on the same day as Senior Week begins.

Didn't do much else after I got home.

That's about it.

 

[LearningSlowly]

I did decide to go to my volleyball game, and I regretted it as expected. The coach told me he gave what I said some thought, and sees me as a valuable member of the team and a very versatile player. Then he told me that without me, he wouldn't be able to run some of the drills at practice, because he can't jump as high or hit as hard as me. This was disappointing, that he doesn't see my value beyond a practice tool.

So he compliments you, and you find a way to read his compliment as an insult. It was a compliment, take it. He was trying to build rapport with you.

But in the 5th set to 15 he didn't play me at all. It's like he doesn't trust me to perform. So I had to sit and watch my team lose because the hitters were smacking the balls right into blocks.

That sucks. How was your play when you were in? Were you at 100%?

I think you're right that you need to redirect your energies. Try changing your outlook on volleyball. Change it from a team sport that you care about (you obviously dont) to a way to get work outs in for something else. Develop a separate goal, based on a separate sport or achievement (dunking, running a marathon, being a better football player) and use volleyball as a means to that end.

 

[BPH]

So he compliments you, and you find a way to read his compliment as an insult. It was a compliment, take it. He was trying to build rapport with you.


That sucks. How was your play when you were in? Were you at 100%?

I think you're right that you need to redirect your energies. Try changing your outlook on volleyball. Change it from a team sport that you care about (you obviously dont) to a way to get work outs in for something else. Develop a separate goal, based on a separate sport or achievement (dunking, running a marathon, being a better football player) and use volleyball as a means to that end.

Yes it was a compliment, but I hate how I get angry at this whole thing then he throws me a bone to keep me hooked to the sport. It was a compliment but he greatly underestimates me.

When I was in I was at 100%. I barely got to do anything though...all I did was get a set-winning block...

And what do you mean at the end?

 

[LearningSlowly]

And what do you mean at the end?

You're still going to practice, you're still working out. There's no reason not to do that, your team needs you. If you quit on your TEAM (not the sport, not the coach) then you're a bad player.

So don't quit. Just find a different purpose. It isn't about playing volleyball, it's about getting good at something that actually matters to you.

 

[BPH]

You're still going to practice, you're still working out. There's no reason not to do that, your team needs you. If you quit on your TEAM (not the sport, not the coach) then you're a bad player.

So don't quit. Just find a different purpose. It isn't about playing volleyball, it's about getting good at something that actually matters to you.

Fair enough...but I really don't want to sit the bench at these championship games next week. I'm really started to get pissed off at some of the more annoying players flaming me for sitting on the bench and never getting play time.

I mean I couldn't care less about their opinions, but it really makes me want to f*** them up and not have to deal with this crap.

 

[BPH]

5/15/12

I think today was pretty normal. I don't remember anything outstanding. I think I commented on HB Cassidy's choice to wear a dress for the first time ever, and that received some very subtle IOIs.

Otherwise I went home and waited until the Alumni volleyball game today. I had contemplated not going and decided that I would attend at the last minute.

The game itself was something I'm glad I attended. Two things happened that pleased me:

1. I was spiking the ball as hard as I could against the wall while I waited for warm-ups. Coach was walking by during one of these spikes and bounce caught him straight in the nuts...he called us all in kinda angrily and told us to conserve our energy and not to go so crazy right now.

2. When I was put into the game I hadn't been set the ball at all until the 3rd set. First time Luis sets me the ball I boom it straight into my coach's arm and watch it bounce off in a random direction. The whole crowd went wild for that one, along with my teammates and even the coach.

I had only been set the ball 4 times, of these sets 3 of them were kills. So I earned some respect here today. I also blocked a few balls, but I think most of them exploded off and out of bounds.

Nothing else to really speak of after this.

I'll update the rest later.

 

[BPH]

5/16/12

Can't think of much to note for today. Nothing really interesting involving girls with just a few things to note.

First off, my former friend Josh and his girlfriend HB Alexa split up. I know he's trying to win her back, so time will tell if he gets her back...apparently he cheated on her. This only interests me if I feel like hitting her up during the summer.

HB Erin is either going to prom by herself or with a friend. I was messing with her a little bit to see if she would be worth taking but she didn't show me anything that could be considered interest.

Practice was fun, I'm sore from it now, but I earned respect from the coach, some teammates, and some random people from school who came to the game and watched me destroy the ball.

Some issues at home include paying for college...that might force me to come back to Delaware or go to a community college to earn my degree. I really don't want to, but if that's what I have to do to avoid massive debt, that may be what it takes.

Senior Week has almost been completely devised and seems to be going well.

No senior prank, no time for one.

Will be hitting HB Kaitlin up to see if she actually wants to come hang out.

Gotta hit up the mall or something this weekend, meet some new girls. Also hoping I can find some kind of party after prom, because the afterprom is only for those that attended prom as far as I know. The afterprom is the only thing that's making me regret my decision to not go.

In other news I feel like I look really good right now. Not bragging but my haircut looks pretty good right about now, and my face is nice and clear, and the way my face looks 2 days after a shave just makes me feel great. Noticing some symmetry issues around my abs that I'll have to iron out when volleyball's over.

That's all I have for now.

PS: Did JackWealthy really stop reading my journal because of the suspension?

 

[BPH]

5/17/12

I don't really remember or care about today.

5/18/12

Today I found out that my grandpa died this morning. I heard it through a friend that heard from my cousin.

Not much really happened at school otherwise. I was pretty quiet for a little while after I heard the news. My friend Sharif visited school today, he did a good job of cheering me up.

Talked about prom, got some sympathy from a few people when they asked what was wrong.

Nothing really happened tonight...I just want to meet some new girls and get a job. That's about it right now. I'm a little regretful of not going to prom, but I'm really just kinda bored.

Peace.

 

[BPH]

5/19/12

Woke up early for the last Honor Society breakfast I'll ever have to do for my school. Nothing to do with girls today.

Went to my grandma's to mow lawns. She isn't as bad as I thought she would be. Didn't eat much, and had a sad sound in her voice, but didn't seem to be devastated by her husband's death.

Mowed her lawn and the lawn of her next door neighbor and will be doing so each weekend. Earned $55 for about an hour of work...great wages right there.

Did text HB Katelynn to hang out tomorrow.

Went to the mall with my brother for a little bit, but didn't really see any girls. Was going to see The Dictator afterwards but time didn't allow for it.

Didn't really do anything the rest of the night.

5/20/12

Woke up late and planned to hang out with HB Katelynn.

Went to the gym and got in a workout that looks something like this:

Dips 14 12
Chinups 10 6
Pushups 20 16
Inverted Rows 12 12
Hanging Leg Raises 10 10
Back Extensions 17 17

Waited at home and missed The Dictator to try and hang out with HB Katelynn. Didn't happen, and here's the text convo:

Me: Hey gorgeous
Her: Hii
Me: Im gonna go work out in a bit. Afterwards at like 430 or 5 can you chill?
Her: I'm going to workout to but idk
Me: When do you think youll be done?
He: Like 6
Me: When are you going to workout? maybe we could hang out before you go
Her: Ymca
Me: No i mean when are you going?
Her: Now
Me: Oh ok. Text me when youre done
Her: Ok
Me: Finished?
Me: Guess not
Her: Sry I got studying to do I told u i like u and all but I'm not just something to f***
Me: I was gonna go bowling with you
Her: Well someone shoulda said that then but its a lil late now if u wanna do it next weekend then sure ill to
Me: I just said we could hang out. You never asked what we would do
Her: Oh...I'm salty
Me: But yeah. Next weekend
Her: Ok cool

Not sure if she's gonna be harder to lay again because of these "values", but ok.

Nothing else really important, so peace.

 

[DanZy]

Why are you still using that workout? Seems fairly ineffective to me

 

[BPH]

Why are you still using that workout? Seems fairly ineffective to me

Are we really back on this...

I haven't been doing this routine with much frequency since the beginning of March, therefore there really won't be any results.

I just do it to keep me from getting soft and when volleyball is over I'll get back into doing it three sets, three times a week.

I am 182lbs now by the way.

5/21/12

Regular day of finals with few exceptions.

My friend Lexy will be coming to Senior Week but there's a problem with her paying her way...

See 5 of my friends, including myself, paid $300 for this room. It will cost $1400 so we each get $20 back. Now Lexy doesn't need to pay for the place but I want us to each have an equal contribution and get the same amount of money back.

But my AFC friend Kevin and other members of my Senior Week group don't really care if she pays because the money already covers the room cost. Instead they think we could have her pay for food and stuff with an equal cost.

I think she should still have to pay the $300, but feel free to tell me what you think.

Not much else to report, nothing in the way of girls until this weekend. Peace.

 

[Nick1886]

Clearly in that case she should contribute $280? It can cover meals, drinks etc.

 

[DanZy]

I'm just wondering mate, nothing more. Proper lifting would surely help your volleyball? I know how it's benefitted me in all the sport I play.

 

[BPH]

Clearly in that case she should contribute $280? It can cover meals, drinks etc.

I think so too...but people in the group are saying that it doesn't matter (Lexy, Kevin, Esther) when I think it should be a fair contribution. Kevin even said he could give me $45 to balance out what I would get back if she were to contribute, just to get me to shut up about it.

I just want her to pay...she even said well if it's going to be fair I'll pay if you don't bring home any weird girls that get to spend a free night. Just recently she walked away and said maybe she should just not go.

@DanZy At the moment it doesn't really matter, season's almost done, and I don't think it would help much. Coach told me my musculature would make it more difficult to pass underhand because my platform would be less straight.

I also won't be able to jump as high because I'm heavier. However...my hit is really nasty.

Also I haven't been able to work out my knees in that routine because volleyball destroys my ability to squat with how often I'm jumping and bringing all of my weight down on my legs at practice.

 

[BPH]

Double posted on accident...thought I'd edit it down since I can't delete it. If a mod can, please delete this reply.

 

[LearningSlowly]

Don't rock the boat. Let her slide on some money. Make sure everyone feels good going into this trip and make sure they all have fun that week.