Spent the night with girl without having sex - best way to proceed

[Billtx49]

You think so?
I don't really mind texting her, it's not an ego thing, but many others on this thread seem to believe it's better for me to wait for her to reach out. So I'm still torn.

At this point it’s a 50/50 deal. She’s either hurt/lost interest or she’s willing to give you another bedtime chance.
It’s the same 50/50 deal with your contact vs. no contact/wait for her reach out.
Do what you feel most comfortable with and accept whatever the result is…

 

[coyote_astro]

At this point it’s a 50/50 deal. She’s either hurt/lost interest or she’s willing to give you another bedtime chance.
It’s the same 50/50 deal with your contact vs. no contact/wait for her reach out.
Do what you feel most comfortable with and accept whatever the result is…

That's what I believe as well, thanks. I guess I'll wait a few days and then decide.

 

[Billtx49]

That's what I believe as well, thanks. I guess I'll wait a few days and then decide.

Life and love are always a gamble, just stay in the game, be willing to take risks, and play your best hand…
Good luck

 

[Epimanes]

I’ve thought about that. I’m just worried I would end up c*ming in 2 mins if I were to implement that.

Then you hop back in and fool around for round 2 .... and 3... I'm 44 and have never used viagra... 2 or 3 times per session is the norm for me... and gettin her several times is between (often ladies first though anyways)... if I drinking.... 1st one takes a while.. and 2nd one can take forever.... so... there's that..

 

[Stuffnu]

Bro, you have a serious case of Oneits because you’re stressing about texting or not. Focus your anxiety by reaching out to other girls, lining up other dates, etc.
If she’s interested, she will reach out or eagerly wait for you to do it. You got to get her “mind balloon” to fill up in anticipation. Text too soon, you’ll let the air out of it.
Personally I usually wait 7-10 days, Yes, there’s a risk a girl may bounce, but believe me you’ll lose a lot more if you appear needy, not busy and/or have no other options.
i say that from vast ecperience and many failures until I corrected this aspect.

 

[coyote_astro]

Life and love are always a gamble, just stay in the game, be willing to take risks, and play your best hand…
Good luck

Very well said, thanks brother!

 

[BackInTheGame78]

That's what I believe as well, thanks. I guess I'll wait a few days and then decide.

Haven't heard from her OP?

 

[coyote_astro]

Haven't heard from her OP?

Nope, it's been 2 days since I left her place, and I have not heard anything from her.

 

[coyote_astro]

Bro, you have a serious case of Oneits because you’re stressing about texting or not. Focus your anxiety by reaching out to other girls, lining up other dates, etc.
If she’s interested, she will reach out or eagerly wait for you to do it. You got to get her “mind balloon” to fill up in anticipation. Text too soon, you’ll let the air out of it.
Personally I usually wait 7-10 days, Yes, there’s a risk a girl may bounce, but believe me you’ll lose a lot more if you appear needy, not busy and/or have no other options.
i say that from vast ecperience and many failures until I corrected this aspect.

I get exactly what you mean, but don't worry, I'm not catching feelings. Just wanted to see what people here think wrt how to go about the contact.
And I also agree about the anticipation component, texting too early would kill that.

 

[Billtx49]

I get exactly what you mean, but don't worry, I'm not catching feelings. Just wanted to see what people here think wrt how to go about the contact.
And I also agree about the anticipation component, texting too early would kill that.

Well, two days so far is nothing. If she doesn’t contact you, I like the general 1st date follow up rule of approximately 5-7 days. The remainder of this week is out as you would seem too eager and she may have prior plans for this coming weekend. I would hit her up sometime next Sun - Tues.
Give her next weekend to wonder what you’re up to …

Or, with Wed night - Thurs morning usually being the last socially polite weekend date planning time, you could text her then ….
Your choice

 

[Jake_Gyllenhaal69]

Nope, it's been 2 days since I left her place, and I have not heard anything from her.

Did you text her? Just keep in mind that you did t lose her because of this bedroom mess. You probably just fulfilled a lonely gap in her mind that night and you were just at the right place at the right time. It’s not uncommon to get ghosted after a ONS so sex wouldn’t have saved you.

 

[DEEZEDBRAH]

I had one of my girlfriends do this to me once. It was the time to bang. She was in her bed, I am in the room, it is 10:00PM, and bytch wanna play control games. So, when I get myself next to her and I am trying to get ther warm, bytch jumps and shouts on my face out loud mad, it is whenever the fck she wants. I got up bed and left her. I almost leave the house, but instead I went to lay in anothet bed in the next room. Shyt testing Burch went there and lay on top of me.

A college chick before invited me in for coffee after a club pull at 3am. I speared her on her bed like Goldberg. We were play fighting. The sec she tried any nonsense LMR or **** ****, I pick up my phone... "hello?" Followed by G2G ... [INSERT RANDOM GIRLS NAME] needs a ride home.

Works 100x better IF YOU were rampaging on the night. Chatting up baeeeees. Im talking the night you just know you are going home with somebody. Got options for days. Just take your pick.

I was more intermediate. As I got tighter game, I minimize fallout. How????

Straight to the bedroom ASAP. Less chat. More esculation. More bold moves. Lots of push pull. Also, compliance testing. GO SCORCHED EARTH! !!

I found when you go balls to the wall, full on neanderthal, you disregard fence sitters from Go. Any skank attention ***** is forced to play her cards. Comply or bye.

Outcome? You smash or disregard.

NICE. Bold moves are fire. Game is ALWAYS MAN TO WOMAN. As in, there's no ambiguity. You are going to take your D out.

 

[coyote_astro]

Well, two days so far is nothing. If she doesn’t contact you, I like the general 1st date follow up rule of approximately 5-7 days. The remainder of this week is out as you would seem too eager and she may have prior plans for this coming weekend. I would hit her up sometime next Sun - Tues.
Give her next weekend to wonder what you’re up to …

Or, with Wed night - Thurs morning usually being the last socially polite weekend date planning time, you could text her then ….
Your choice

That's pretty much the way I was thinking of going about it. When I first started this thread, I was thinking of texting her roughly a week after our last encounter.
I like the idea of letting her wonder what I'm up to over the weekend. So I'll wait till Monday or so. Thanks for the actionable advice!

 

[coyote_astro]

There are two trains of thought at play here.

1. Absence makes the heart grow fonder
2. Out of sight, out of mind.

It's always a challenge to know which to follow, I typically go by how well we connected on our last date.

In your case, over and above the physical as sexual intimacy didn't happen.



I agree with this!

Ain't that the million dollar question...? I think we all wish we could answer it in every one of these situations.
What would be funny is if she's having the exact same discussion in some girl forum right now..

 

[coyote_astro]

Did you text her? Just keep in mind that you did t lose her because of this bedroom mess. You probably just fulfilled a lonely gap in her mind that night and you were just at the right place at the right time. It’s not uncommon to get ghosted after a ONS so sex wouldn’t have saved you.

No, I was thinking along the lines of what Billtx49 wrote above, that 2 days would be too early/too eager. But who really knows..?

And yes, you are right, I am trying not to beat myself down too much over this. Thanks!

 

[Jake_Gyllenhaal69]

No, I was thinking along the lines of what Billtx49 wrote above, that 2 days would be too early/too eager. But who really knows..?

And yes, you are right, I am trying not to beat myself down too much over this. Thanks!

sounds like you have oneitis lol. Get well soon OP

 

[BillyPilgrim]

sounds like you have oneitis lol. Get well soon OP

I think there's some competitive frustration as well. This is a game, and we want to win dammit.

 

[Jake_Gyllenhaal69]

I think there's some competitive frustration as well. This is a game, and we want to win dammit.

From my experience, when you are trying to calculate how many days you should wait to contact her to hopefully raise her interest level, the game has been lost. OP is planning his 4th and 10 right now.

 

[BillyPilgrim]

From my experience, when you are trying to calculate how many days you should wait to contact her to hopefully raise her interest level, the game has been lost. OP is planning his 4th and 10 right now.

If you can hide it well, it's 3rd and 15.

 

[coyote_astro]

I think there's some competitive frustration as well. This is a game, and we want to win dammit.

This is actually exactly the reason!
Jake, don't worry man, I'm not catching feelings for this girl. We only interacted for 12 hours (that might have been enough when I was 20, but not now).
But I do admit that failing to close hurt my ego a bit, and I want another chance. Plus I want to break this dry spell. That's all.