So my GF's not so "innocent" after all, what to do..

[Don Juanabbe]

Originally posted by Royal Elite
Dont hate the game, its obvious she is out gaming him, he needs to step up his if he can. Of course it's fishey, but why shouldnt it be since someone must lead-it's clear that he is moving like a sheep instead of a lion.

Right now he's the earth and she's the sun, he's orbiting her.

It's obvious the last cat was pimpen while homey here is symping!

You're right, but I think there is something more sinister going on than just games. Especially given he hasn't shagged her yet.

BigWilly - keep seeing her by all means, but I would seriously step up your game, even if that means starting to mack other chicks and getting their phone numbers in case you need a backup. Pull back, but pull back slowly, if she calls you on it, don't give in. I think you may need to make yourself a little less accomodating and a little less available.

This will eventually force her hand and she'll either submit or you'll have your answer as to why she's so interested in maintaining her relationship with the ex FB.

Either way you look at it, make note of the red flags and for heavens sake keep your guard up.

Anymore fishy bullsh*t from this woman and you be ready to put her onto the launch pad and spring board her into the nearest large body of water.

Seriously man, start scoping for backups.

 

[Royal Elite]

Originally posted by Don Juanabbe
You're right, but I think there is something more sinister going on than just games. Especially given he hasn't shagged her yet.

Its only fishey if you dont realize women game also, but once you know it's not fishey it's expected. Every human being on the planet wants to have their cake and eat it too. Women are no difference. She's keeping homey around as a spare, or even a substitute. The friend isnt in friend zone, so she is not keeping him around as a friend-he is a "in case of emergency break glass and screw" friend.

The friend has her mind more then this dude does, because he needs to step his game up-you feel me pimpen.

 

[ketostix]

Originally posted by Wyldfire
Again...you guys are NOT READING what Will wrote. She NEVER told him she wanted to "hang out" with "Simon". Will asked what he should do IF she asked to hang out with him.

All she said was she wanted to remain "friends" with "Simon". She didn't say she wanted to hang out with him. Being "friends" doesn't necessarily mean hanging out or doing things together.

Christ, why do any of you even bother date at all? You're ready to dump the girl before she even does anything! Oh no! This girl had sex with some other guy 2 months ago...that means she's going to have sex with him again while she's with me because history repeats itself! It doesn't matter that she stopped seeing him in order to be with me! She still likes him better!

Listen to yourselves. I thought you were supposed to be confident and secure...this is just bloody pathetic. She won't leave Will to go back to some guy she had sex with before unless he drives her back to that guy by acting like some of you insecure boneheads. Good God!

You all see what Wyldfire did? According to her if you call a female's sh!t test and BS for what it is, you're insecure and inconfident and it's your fault if she leaves and fvcks someother guy. Now we see why you never take dating advice from women. I didn't read the post, but doesn't the DJ Bible say that a girl often cheats on her bf with another guy that's just a "friend". If I was Willy I'd just play it cool and tap that ass.

 

[Don Juanabbe]

and if you call a woman for what her BS truly is you're "Bitter" and "Frustrated". All typical fem-talk comebacks, not that I'm accusing Wyldfire of that, but they all got a certain amount of the feminist brainwashing going on, even her.

 

[Don Juanabbe]

Also, I can't tell you how many girls in supposed "committed" relationships there are who have unbuttoned my belt-buckle over the years, so please excuse me if my take on this whole thread has taken a dire turn for the cynical.

In fact, a couple of these women truly shocked me, I never would have figured them for the cheating type in a million years.

One thing I've learned about women, especially the young ones, in this day and age, is that 80%+ of them won't think twice about getting a little c*ck on the side because beeyatches like Oprah and the like have made them all feel entitled to it, I.e. they have 'needs' and lotsa kop out sh*t like that.

 

[Royal Elite]

Originally posted by ketostix
but doesn't the DJ Bible say that a girl often cheats on her bf with another guy that's just a "friend". If I was Willy I'd just play it cool and tap that ass.

Willy has been playing it cool and thats why he is in this boat. Willy is too afrain to challege this girl mentally (that is all game is). His chick is too much mentally for this dude, and the other guy was too much for her. She will screw the other dude whenever he wants or she wants if he doenst step his game up.

Secret-You are worried about her or she is worried about you-yin/yang. You better introduced some other factor in here willy (another girl), even if you are just "talking" about the other girl, it will help shift this a little for you, or you will be tasting homey every time you kiss your girl.

 

[Don Juanabbe]

Originally posted by Royal Elite
Willy has been playing it cool and thats why he is in this boat. Willy is too afrain to challege this girl mentally (that is all game is). His chick is too much mentally for this dude, and the other guy was too much for her. She will screw the other dude whenever he wants or she wants if he doenst step his game up.

Secret-You are worried about her or she is worried about you-yin/yang. You better introduced some other factor in here willy (another girl), even if you are just "talking" about the other girl, it will help shift this a little for you, or you will be tasting homey every time you kiss your girl.

That's right, start getting numbers man. Pull away and even go on a date or two.

Even if you don't follow through on those dates, this will accomplish two things:

1) Knock her the f*ck off balance

and

2) Put you back into the proper state of mind to game this the right way.

and if all else, you'll have set yourself up with a backup, and if you can get caught, you have a nice built-in excuse in the form of her confession and ongoing desire to stay friends with a dude who has been shagging her.

Put a stop to this power grab, if that's all it is.

 

[Wyldfire]

Not once in this thread did Will say that his girlfriend was actually hanging out with this guy she USED to be sleeping with. The girl ASKED him if he minded if she still saw him as a friend, which Will has said is IN A GROUP. She invited Will to come too. According to Will, during the approximate 5 weeks he has known this girl she has done NOTHING wrong, has been honest, respectful and a good girl. And again...she has NOT hung out with the other guy.

I say that those screaming to dump the girl over this ARE insecure because you are advising someone to dump a girl that has not actually done a damn thing to deserve it. Now IF Will posted that his girlfriend was spending time alone with this other guy then I would be the first one to tell him to get rid of her. Not only is that NOT the case...she ASKED him if he minded if she stayed friends with him. And the only reason she likely wants to stay friends with him is because he hangs out with all of her female friends. Is she supposed to not be allowed to have any of her friends anymore just because this one guy hangs out with them, too? How fair is that?

And regarding the question about if I were seeing someone who had casual sex with one of their friends how would I act...it wouldn't be an issue. If she was a friend I would get to know her and be friends with her, too. The past is the past and I trust everyone I'm with UNLESS they actually do something to warrant me not trusting them. I'm not the jealous type at all. On top of that, with my "appetite"...the guy wouldn't have enough energy left to cheat anyhow. It wouldn't be an issue...

 

[TizZle]

This is quoted right from BWS's first post... "Also another thing, she said she's wants to see him as friends though still, if thats ok with me. I just said "yeah I guess so"

It's one thing to tell him that she had a f*ck buddy relationship but keeping the guy around still ? .....

I like the advice of getting other numbers for back-ups and trying to out-game her. This other guy "Simon" is option B IMO, because she wants to keep him around. If she's single again, she will let him in her pants again.

Let's do the math: She was sexless for 5 months. Got in a FB relationship because she was sexually frustated and trusted her newly acquired friend. Hasn't had sex from what i figure to be 2 months or a little less, since Willy stated "had a fvck buddy as little as 2 months ago". She is due up for sex IMO. Tap dat a$$. Is she not sexually attracted to you? Make a move.

Just keep calm and hang out with them. See what this dude is about and get to know him, if you plan on her seeing him just as a friend.

 

[TillTheEndOfTime]

Originally posted by ShockDoctor
NO, I disagree, don't be mislead by TillTheEndOfTime's post, why do u think she's with you? because she LIKES U, she isn't gonna be with someone she doesn't like! if she wants to wait for a bit before having sex what's the problem with that? maybe she wants to get on an 'emotional' level before having sex with you as she wants to be more 'respectful' of YOU!

she treated your FB like a toy! that's what he was a play thing, because she wants to WAIT with YOU she doesn't want U to be a play thing, she has RESPECT for you!

most women nowadays have a past, deal with it! don't be consumed by this simple event!

remember: YOU have a past aswell!!!

Let's see. Take someone's advise who has posted 10 times, or take someone's advise who has posted 300 times and has been right on the money on most of those occasions? You decide.

 

[TillTheEndOfTime]

Originally posted by Blue Phoenix
By the way, maybe she told him about her FB just to alleviate her guilt or to justify her behavior!

Exactly what I said. I agree with this. Girls love to think they are holier and nicer than they really are. They crave validation of this as well. They will do just about anything to justify behaviour that may seem questionable to others.

This is why you see some hardcore "AFCs" with girlfriends. They are pushovers and give the girlfriend the validation that she needs. Don't envy these AFCs. Pity them. Yes they may have a girlfriend while you do not, but they are being used as a doormat.

 

[alphawolfx]

you let us all know what happens, will... i'm curious, because i may be right or i may be wrong, but i'd like to see what happens with you

 

[Don_Joffe]

Why wrap your mind around this whole situation? Forget about her.

 

[MacDiddy]

Wyldfire wrote:
Not once in this thread did Will say that his girlfriend was actually hanging out with this guy she USED to be sleeping with. The girl ASKED him if he minded if she still saw him as a friend, which Will has said is IN A GROUP.

Wyldfire, you're too caught up on semantics... What is the point in seeing someone as a friend if you're not going to hang with them eventually... If he okays it, she is at liberty to stretch it as far as she wants... Whether she sees him in her mind only as a friend is a moot point... people will always ask for a little and take alot!!!

You gotta think where it will potentially go!!!

I am very good friends with my ex (who has a BF now)... and if I get her alone, I'll try something... no doubt about it coz I'm just naturally wanting it! I'll slip my fingers into her panties, coz I know she'll either like it or forgive me. Also, I know her and I know I have a very good chance of laying her again... why? coz I've done it on her before!! she's hiding the truth from her BF as I speak... its nothing to her unless she can profit in revealing it...

Remember we are creatures of habit!!!

 

[TurboOverCubicInches]

Poor Willy. He's gotta be screamin his head off and pullin his hair out while reading all this haha.

Like I said, you have think on your feet. I can give this much advice:

If it walks like a duck,

quacks like a duck,

and looks like a duck...

its probably a duck.

If you have a gut feeling about this...and you seem to have a negative feeling about her....thats why you are asking these questions......don't waste your time. Nothing is more honest than your gut.

In life, people like to sugarcoat things to either a) not offend people, or b) to shape things to fit their own beliefs.

You've got quite a few convincing arguments here. If you wipe the sugar off, you see that you have a girl who met some random guy in a bar and was scewin him for some time. Now, she is haning out with you, yet witholding sex from you. Not only that, she wants to maintain some sort of relationship with this guy. Call it for what it is. Don't listen to anyone else if you think your gut is telling you something. For this one girl who has this issue, there are hundred of others out there who are NOT in this same complicated situation.

Be a man. Do whats right. See things for what they are.

Cheers.

 

[DrSoSuave]

When it comes to relationships, it's better to get advice from men who have been there and done that. If you're going to get it from a woman, she will either tell you what you want to hear or she will tell you what she wishes were true when infact may not be true.

Like others, this woman is too hot to handle (when I say too hot, it doesn't mean hot product but bad trouble.) for you, there are girls out there that are more accomodating and honest rather than doing stuff like this.

 

[PuertoRican_Lover]

Why aren't I surprise by her revelation? Because a hor is a hor is a hor - there are no degrees to a hor - they just are!! Don't fall in love with a hor!!!! Accept the fact that most women are hors and most guys are their pimps - if only for a season!!!!

You are just the next pimp in line!!! NUMBER 101? Calling NUMBER 101?

Say "No" to hos!!!

 

[ThunderMaverick]

Dr P, your post are pure magic.

 

[Wyldfire]

Originally posted by MacDiddy
Wyldfire, you're too caught up on semantics... What is the point in seeing someone as a friend if you're not going to hang with them eventually... If he okays it, she is at liberty to stretch it as far as she wants... Whether she sees him in her mind only as a friend is a moot point... people will always ask for a little and take alot!!!

You gotta think where it will potentially go!!!

I am very good friends with my ex (who has a BF now)... and if I get her alone, I'll try something... no doubt about it coz I'm just naturally wanting it! I'll slip my fingers into her panties, coz I know she'll either like it or forgive me. Also, I know her and I know I have a very good chance of laying her again... why? coz I've done it on her before!! she's hiding the truth from her BF as I speak... its nothing to her unless she can profit in revealing it...

Remember we are creatures of habit!!!

Will could POTENTIALLY get hit and killed by a truck tomorrow, too...but I highly doubt he is going to spend the rest of his life hiding out inside based on what COULD happen to hurt him if he went outside.

My whole point is that a lot of you guys are suggesting that he just throw in the towel based on something that COULD happen BUT HASN'T. That's just plain DUMB. Life isn't a spectator sport and it doesn't matter who the hell you date, there are the same risks. He likes this girl and so far he claims she has been a good girlfriend. So why on earth should anyone tell him he should get rid of her when she hasn't even done anything wrong? That's not only premature but ridiculous.

 

[BigWillyStyle]

Poor Willy. He's gotta be screamin his head off and pullin his hair out while reading all this haha.

Yes indeed haha. SOOOOOO much advice to mentally sort through here, but here is an UPDATE for everyone.

I said she can be friends with him alone as there is no one on one time(I told her that yesterday) She said that was fine. Today it was still buggin me that she's keeping him around AT ALL. So Today I had a change of heart when I saw her.

Basically, I said "I don't want you seeing him at all really, alone OR in a group, it just causes me too much mental anguish"(although I sugar coated what I said a little) She had a think about it for a bit, then said
"OK, I see were you're coming from, I won't see him at all anymore, but if we do get together in groups instead of me just leaving, can I call you so you can join us when Simon's around" I agreed to that.

Now I'm glad that she's not seeing him at all anymore. Even though I feel a bit guilty about basically telling her "it's your friendship with Simon or me" Seems a bit controlling from my side, and growing up with an abusive controlling father I try to avoid that sorta stuff as much as possible. Don't worry, I'm still keep a vigilant look out... if she DOES EVER cheat she is outta here before she has time to blink!

I'm still a bit dissappointed about her having a FB in the first place, hopefully I'll get more over it as each day passes.

In hindsight, this young woman has been incredible accepting about MY past. I told her(when I was drunk ) that when I was just barely 19yrs old(2 1/2yrs younger but alot dumber), I knocked up a 17yr old girl and the girl got an abortion.

She basically said "Well, it's a bit shocking Will, but it's in the past and isn't really any of my business" and she never bought it up again. Whilst I bought about the ex fvck buddy Simon thing about 12-13 times now with her

So summing up. I asked her not too see ex fvck buddy Simon, ever again, she agreed.(Even though I do feel like a bit of a **** for making her cut off ALL contact, but if I didn't It would ALWAYS be causing me anguish)

Again, I'm just stunned with how many people took the time to write deep responses to this! Wyldfire made some good points but then again some of the fellas here made some very valid points too! THANK YOU ALL!