So my GF's not so "innocent" after all, what to do..

[alphawolfx]

you guys need to listen to wyldfire

the only reason you'd next her is because of your own insecuties...

yes, i've been there, i've felt bad, i even was so jealous that when i watched our home-made porn, i would see the OTHER guys instead of ME f.ucking the s.hit out of her... and i started smoking over it, too

but eventually i was able to let go of it, and just relax (and stop smoking)

so relax dude, the jealousy will pass, and you'll realize it wasn't such a horrible thing after all

 

[-HPNOTIQ-]

Originally posted by alphawolfx
you guys need to listen to wyldfire

the only reason you'd next her is because of your own insecuties...

yes, i've been there, i've felt bad, i even was so jealous that when i watched our home-made porn, i would see the OTHER guys instead of ME f.ucking the s.hit out of her... and i started smoking over it, too

but eventually i was able to let go of it, and just relax (and stop smoking)

so relax dude, the jealousy will pass, and you'll realize it wasn't such a horrible thing after all

WTF..you watched home made porn of your GF with her ex's?!

hahaha...I dunno bout that one.

Will...haven't heard a post from you in a while...update the gallery on the status of this one bro.

 

[belividere]

the only reason you'd next her is because of your own insecuties...

In a way that makes sense. At the same time I look back on my experiences and the experiences of my friends and think that it is complete non-sense. Sure I have insecurities and I wont deny that. But having been on both sides of the fence it seems that the dude is just playing with fire.

On one hand okay she came out and told him about this guy. Honestly I have no idea what this means. Why she would do it, I have no clue as it doesn't make her look very good. Maybe she wanted to let him know. Okay sounds valid. Maybe she just wanted to get something off her chest and not feel bad about it. Really none of us know her or him or their situation. How can any of use say what is right?

On the other hand,

yes, i've been there, i've felt bad, i even was so jealous that when i watched our home-made porn, i would see the OTHER guys instead of ME f.ucking the s.hit out of her... and i started smoking over it, too

Sorry but those are really bad feelings of insecurity. As bad as I think that I have ever felt I have never thought like that.

Every guy who tells him to "Next" her and are encouraging him "not to put up with her" are acting like hysterical women.

So everyone who disagrees with you is wrong? Maybe these guys are speaking from experience.

I was around 33 years old and had been with a grand total of two men in my life at that point...so I was in no way "easy".

No you weren't easy. You were an anomaly. Will is 21. I'm sorry but 33 and 21 is a huge disconnect. Your experiences are obviously nothing like hers.

He asked me to move in with him at one point and asked to move in with me at another and I said no. I was the one who walked away. I was the one who objected to anyone referring to me as his "girlfriend"...I did not want that label.

The reverse of what I described. But I would say that for younger people in this situation it is the opposite. A 21 yr. old guy who has no strings attached sex with a good looking girl is most likely not trying to move in with her. At least I haven't run across one who was. A 33yr. old is a completely different story here.

You can't judge a person based on one choice they made in their lifetime. You'll never get a very accurate picture of who they are.

No but people are a summation of all their choices. Those with fewer choices are the ones whose life can be assumed more quickly. So far all of your arguments sound great on paper but are based on assumptions. None of us can really try to downplay the opinions of anyone else here since it just an opinion. I relate my experiences. You have said yourself that yours are different. I think being in the same age range and possessing a penis that mine are more likely to relate to his though.

This girl had this involvement BEFORE getting involved with Will

So according to what she has told him so far BEFORE. That doesn't mean that it is the actually truth.

Sorry I am skeptical. I've been played and I've been the one that caused the playing. Everything sounds a hell of a lot different on paper than in real life. Given my experience and the fact that after what a month he already has problems in his own head I would suggest for his own sanity to just move on. Nothing good for either of them will most likely come out of this given the present situation.

 

[Wyldfire]

Originally posted by -HPNOTIQ-
WTF..you watched home made porn of your GF with her ex's?!

hahaha...I dunno bout that one.

Will...haven't heard a post from you in a while...update the gallery on the status of this one bro.

lol...I'm quite sure it was HIM in the movies...he was just imagining it was someone else. Either way it doesn't bode well, though.

 

[Mojo604]

Originally posted by BigWillyStyle
Yeah we met about 4-5 weeks ago and saw each other often, one week ago she asked to go "exclusive" She asked how I'd feel if she continues seeing her fvck buddy as a friend ONLY, as she said she that's ALL SHE wants from him. I stupidly said "yeah that's ok I guess" I have reason to trust her because she has been extremely candid with me so far. I dunno, fvck buddies... nasty.

"Yeah, I guess" = AFC RESPONSE = a NO-NO

How will you feel when you go out somewhere and "Simon" is there also? I would want to punch his face in eveytime he spoke to my girlfriend... She'll eventually cheat on you with the scumbag, unless she already has.

 

[alphawolfx]

Originally posted by -HPNOTIQ-
WTF..you watched home made porn of your GF with her ex's?!

hahaha...I dunno bout that one.

Will...haven't heard a post from you in a while...update the gallery on the status of this one bro.

no we watched the porn of US, but i would see the OTHER guys instead of ME.

 

[Wyldfire]

So everyone who disagrees with you is wrong? Maybe these guys are speaking from experience.

In this particular case, those who are disagreeing are also NOT listening to what Will has said. They are advising him to dump her over something that happened BEFORE she got involved with Will. She has NOT betrayed Will or done ANYTHING to warrant him dumping her. So yes...those kinds of responses ARE hysterical and "girly".

No you weren't easy. You were an anomaly. Will is 21. I'm sorry but 33 and 21 is a huge disconnect. Your experiences are obviously nothing like hers.

You don't know that my experience was nothing like hers. The entire point of my story was to show that one should never make assumptions about people based on one situation because sometimes people DO act out of character once in awhile. It's called being human.

The reverse of what I described. But I would say that for younger people in this situation it is the opposite. A 21 yr. old guy who has no strings attached sex with a good looking girl is most likely not trying to move in with her. At least I haven't run across one who was. A 33yr. old is a completely different story here.

Well, he was in his 20's. He was also a little on the wild side and had quite the reputation for not wanting to settle down. Maybe the fact that I wasn't interested in a relationship made him value me a bit more, who knows. Again, the point is that you should never assume anything.

No but people are a summation of all their choices. Those with fewer choices are the ones whose life can be assumed more quickly. So far all of your arguments sound great on paper but are based on assumptions. None of us can really try to downplay the opinions of anyone else here since it just an opinion. I relate my experiences. You have said yourself that yours are different. I think being in the same age range and possessing a penis that mine are more likely to relate to his though.

People are a summation of the lessons they learn via their choices, but they are not defined by their choices.

My arguments aren't the ones based on assumptions. I am listening to the facts as Will has presented them and basing my advice on those facts combined with what I know about how females behave. I am a female, afterall, but one of those rare ones that are more rational than emotional. The ones who are reacting as if this girl has commited a sin against humanity for having the audacity of actually having sex with a guy prior to getting involved with Will are the ones making assumptions and behaving irrationally. Those are the facts. You having a penis and me not having one is totally irrelevent in this argument. The facts speak for themselves. The girl has NOT done anything to warrant Will dumping her or even being upset with her. He may not like that she had casual sex with some guy BEFORE she got involved with him...but he has NO RIGHT to be angry over it because it was BEFORE him. This is the crucial fact so many on here keep entirely overlooking. Doing so IS irrational and hysterical, there's just no way to deny that and still sound even remotely logical.

So according to what she has told him so far BEFORE. That doesn't mean that it is the actually truth.

Now this is silly. If she were still having sex with the other guy the LAST thing she would do would be to tell the new boyfriend. No one is that much of an idiot...especially not someone who is devious and underhanded enough to cheat in the first place.

Sorry I am skeptical. I've been played and I've been the one that caused the playing. Everything sounds a hell of a lot different on paper than in real life. Given my experience and the fact that after what a month he already has problems in his own head I would suggest for his own sanity to just move on. Nothing good for either of them will most likely come out of this given the present situation.

He was actually over it and felt better about it and had said that other than this one thing she had shown herself to be a "good girl" who had been very honest, open and respectful to him. He was dealing with the situation maturely, like a secure man...and hopefully he will still do that. It would really be a shame if the insecurities and emotional reactions of others who are not even paying close attention to what Will has said had an adverse effect on him.

This is one of the worst things that happens at this site. There are too many guys on here who personalize minor issues other guys have that are actually trivial and easily resolved. Because they personalize things, are emotional, bitter and can't let go of their own past hurts they end up giving really sh*tty advice to other guys based on totally irrational and twisted perceptions. If someone can't give objective advice to others based ONLY on that person's particular situation they probably should refrain from giving advice at all.

 

[tmpgstx]

She told him about the guy friend, but even wants to continue to be friends with him! Absolutely not.

Next time you're out of town Dawg, maybe this guy friend will your girl a nice back rub while watching a movie and have few drinks.

 

[alphawolfx]

that would be more likely to happen if she DIDN't tell him about the guy

seriously, will, don't worry about it. listen to wyldfire, it's not a big deal

 

[tmpgstx]

No .. it just vidicates it. So when Will asks her who she hung out with, she can say this guy friend .. i mean afterall, he is a friend isn't he? Now she don't have to worry about trying to be obtrusive, or having common friends see them together, because afterall she told Will about him and they are friends.

Can you sense my sarcasm here? I have been thru too much BS to know otherwise, and not by my insecurities or own doing.

I can see what Wyldfire is saying .. but it's wanting to continue to be friends - what the hell for? It was sexual before.

Granted she did come out and tell Willy, that was good.

You can see how men and women think differently here .. Wlydfire gives her the benefit of the doubt, while many of the guys know how other guys are. It's not so much about her as it is the guy friend who previously had sex with her.

 

[belividere]

Alright BigWilly,
Sorry for such an aside. I think it has relevance in the whole concept of this post though.

They are advising him to dump her over something that happened BEFORE she got involved with Will.

Yes and each one of them said that the past tends to repeat itself. I agree.

The entire point of my story was to show that one should never make assumptions about people based on one situation because sometimes people DO act out of character once in awhile.

Alright key words,

So she could be a complete hor who is acting out of charater and pretending to like him while being something better? Yeah been there done that. Never wanted to be but people are people. Anyone who is single and been in the field has encounterd this.

Maybe the fact that I wasn't interested in a relationship made him value me a bit more, who knows

So you wore the pants. My point on the concept of fvck buddies from my first post. One of them wants the other.

My arguments aren't the ones based on assumptions. I am listening to the facts as Will has presented them and basing my advice on those facts combined with what I know about how females behave

what you know, okay same as what I said. My response was my opinion as I have seen it. Go back and re-read the opening post then look at your responses. It is all one-sided assumptions. What I responded with is the actual situations that I was in.

I am a female, afterall, but one of those rare ones that are more rational than emotional.

Okay all girls are rational, according to them. Honestly before you reply with some hatred go back and re-read all the posts (I had the respect to do the same to you) and go ahead and seriously pick out what is wrong. Just because you disagree does not make things wrong either. Every female I have ever meet has claimed to not be like the other ones. Funny but the ones who say that are actually worse than the other ones. What makes your response more rational than those of the guys who are saying next her? The fact that you are female?

The ones who are reacting as if this girl has commited a sin against humanity for having the audacity of actually having sex with a guy prior to getting involved with Will are the ones making assumptions and behaving irrationally.

Alright or they are the ones who have dealt with the girls who act like this girl is. Seriously knowing these types of girls qualifies us to post our experiences. If people want to listen or not is up to them. Like Will said I dont expect my girl to be a virgin, but he has problems that are more of his own than hers. Go back a week or so ago and he posted asking why isn't this girl sleeping with me after a week. His problems are now more apparent than he will wish to believe or at least accept.

Now this is silly. If she were still having sex with the other guy the LAST thing she would do would be to tell the new boyfriend. No one is that much of an idiot...especially not someone who is devious and underhanded enough to cheat in the first place.

Have had it happened. Girls in my experience are competitive. Seeing two guys fight over her makes her feel way to important. Back to my argument that she is telling the half-truth. Seriously the whole point in saying anything like that is moronic (which you agreed with Wyldfire). The only reason that anyone (guy or girl) would do this is to incite jealousy.

He was actually over it and felt better about it and had said that other than this one thing she had shown herself to be a "good girl" who had been very honest, open and respectful to him.

Okay I must have missed this. She was a good girl who hadn't slept with him and came out and said this. Given the time frame, "good gir, honest, open and respectfull", seems to be a bit pre-mature. Especially for a girl that he meet at a bar/club.

This is one of the worst things that happens at this site. There are too many guys on here who personalize minor issues other guys have that are actually trivial and easily resolved. Because they personalize things, are emotional, bitter and can't let go of their own past hurts they end up giving really sh*tty advice to other guys based on totally irrational and twisted perceptions. If someone can't give objective advice to others based ONLY on that person's particular situation they probably should refrain from giving advice at all

I would like to see you describe any objective advice that you have given. If you can back it up with an explanation that explains why it is objective rather than subjective I will back down and agree with you. So far everything you have said is the exact same personalized, beyond sh*tty, objective advice that you complained about.

If someone can't give objective advice to others based ONLY on that person's particular situation they probably should refrain from giving advice at all

Maybe realize that you cannot relate to a particular situation so well even though you are female and refrain from giving advice yourself.

 

[belividere]

alright Will,
Unless any posts on here are addressed to me I'm out. You got anything you want to ask and think I could answer with my point of view then feel free. I think that the last couple of pages have given a good insight of the range of actualities that this situation could have. None of us really know. It is up to you to figure out. Best of luck with whatever you choose and keep us posted.

 

[NewMan]

Sorry to be coming in on this one late.

If I'm repeating anything sorry....

here is acouple of thoughts.

1) It amazes me how many women tell their current guys about their sordid past.... or at least the past that they are not proud or are feeling guilty about.

The bottom line is, she's not telling him to make him feel good - or to get emotionally closer with him - she's telling him because of her own guilt. It's a selfish act on her part.

2) To think this chick was not both emotionally and physically attached to her FB is rediculous. She is. She want's to be friends with him now.... that doesn't sound like she doesn't care about him. Rather she does care about him.

3) the fact that she wants to hang out with him - and then unloads all her bull sh#t onto you and her past - so she can clear he conscience is selfish - and tells of her character.

You can bet the house that when/if they hang out, there will be sexual tension. there will be little flirty sh#t going on... especially from him.

Trust me, I've been the other guy.



You can sugar coat it anyway you want.

She is selfish. She;s emotionally attached to him, and has shown she'll put all of her BS onto you.

If you feel you are able to handle this in the future (which you should - it's history) grab your balls and make sure that this other guy is not in the picture - if you want a relationship.

 

[HKgunslinger]

Originally posted by Wyldfire
HK...did you even read his last post? He didn't say she IS hanging out with the guy alone. He asked how he should deal with a situation like that IF it were to come up.

IF this girl wanted to still have sex with the other guy she never would have told Will about it in the first place.

Stop giving him sh*tty and hysterical emotional advice...

Wyldfire, YOU are obviously the emotional one here.

Willie has got so MANY MANY RED FLAGS in this "relationship" that it's no longer even funny! You have to be a complete moron not to see all the heartache coming his way from a hundred miles down the line.

ANY girl worth even considering for a REAL "relationship" (whatever that means anymore) is not the type who still wants to "see" her fxck buddy! Or even the type that would HAVE a fxck buddy to begin with!

Doesn't anyone else see BigWilly is being played for a BigSucker, I feel like I'm taking crazy pills here.

DJ's are worth more than cheap *****s like that. We wouldn't give them the time of day, let alone fxck them or let them be a part of our world. YOUR time YOUR life is too valuable to fritter and waste on a girl who is so obviously not worthy.

Please, Willy, you've got to listen to reason. Come back to us, buddy!

'Slinger

 

[BLUEox117]

i believe its a test.

 

[ketostix]

Yeah this girl is definitely dropping a sh!t test on Willy. And like the other poster said her reasons for divulging the existence of the Fvck Buddy are based in selfishness.

I think Wildfyre is half right, this girl might be intending to have a LTR with Willy by holding out the pvssy, but is she treating him right with dropping this huge sh!t test? Is she trying to dominate him, lacks real respect and interest in Willy? The the fact she told him she still wants to be friends with the fvck buddy opens up a lot of untoward possibilities. Something isn't right with that part. It seems like she might still want to get sexual with the Fvck buddy, if she isn't still doing it. Wildfyre is sugarcoating some piss poor female behavior, integrity issues and sh!t testing. How typical of females to cover for one another's poor behavior.

 

[Kaine]

I'm enjoying this, great thread!

The bottom line is, she's not telling him to make him feel good - or to get emotionally closer with him - she's telling him because of her own guilt. It's a selfish act on her part.

This is interesting, I've learnt something

In my only response, I personally never said he should leave her. But he should be careful and put her on parole based on those red flags and the fact she has not actually disrespected him, YET.


I recommend again that you tell her that you have lost some respect for her. Make her walk on eggshells to mitigate chances of her doing something stupid in the future.


And let her know that you don't find her hanging out with the fcuk buddy acceptable. Find a smart way.


Also as an aside, you should be seducing her. Don't claim GF until you've at least hit it.


Kaine

 

[dietzcoi]

She is obviously not LTR material.

This will only get worse.

And yes, do not take a female's advice on this. What to you think Bormann would have said about Hitler's behavior??

Avoid the train wreck now, or ride it in.

DIetzcoi

 

[TheRelic]

DROP HER!

The mere suggestion that she wants to keep in contact with him is a f*cking insult to you.

Ugh....

 

[Trance]

You guys are so pathetic in terms of a woman's past. She did what she wanted to do, and she is with you because she wants to be with you, and you are with her because you want/ed to be with her.
Did she ask you if you've had 50 girls in your lifetime? Does she care? No. Do you care? Yes.


Imagine if my girlfriend wouldnt want me because i had a fu.ck-buddy before her, when i trully love her a lot, it would be just plain stupid.