So my GF's not so "innocent" after all, what to do..

[Kaine]

Whilst I bought about the ex fvck buddy Simon thing about 12-13 times now with her

Ok take that plastic bag off her head and let her breath now, you're starting to look a tad wee insecure.

Anyway case closed, don't bring it up again, its up to her now

Let us know if anything out of the ordinary occurs


Kaine

 

[Alpha Male]

Originally posted by BigWillyStyle
Yes indeed haha. SOOOOOO much advice to mentally sort through here, but here is an UPDATE for everyone.

I said she can be friends with him alone as there is no one on one time(I told her that yesterday) She said that was fine. Today it was still buggin me that she's keeping him around AT ALL. So Today I had a change of heart when I saw her.

Basically, I said "I don't want you seeing him at all really, alone OR in a group, it just causes me too much mental anguish"(although I sugar coated what I said a little) She had a think about it for a bit, then said
"OK, I see were you're coming from, I won't see him at all anymore, but if we do get together in groups instead of me just leaving, can I call you so you can join us when Simon's around" I agreed to that.

Now I'm glad that she's not seeing him at all anymore. Even though I feel a bit guilty about basically telling her "it's your friendship with Simon or me" Seems a bit controlling from my side, and growing up with an abusive controlling father I try to avoid that sorta stuff as much as possible. Don't worry, I'm still keep a vigilant look out... if she DOES EVER cheat she is outta here before she has time to blink!

I'm still a bit dissappointed about her having a FB in the first place, hopefully I'll get more over it as each day passes.

In hindsight, this young woman has been incredible accepting about MY past. I told her(when I was drunk ) that when I was just barely 19yrs old(2 1/2yrs younger but alot dumber), I knocked up a 17yr old girl and the girl got an abortion.

She basically said "Well, it's a bit shocking Will, but it's in the past and isn't really any of my business" and she never bought it up again. Whilst I bought about the ex fvck buddy Simon thing about 12-13 times now with her

So summing up. I asked her not too see ex fvck buddy Simon, ever again, she agreed.(Even though I do feel like a bit of a **** for making her cut off ALL contact, but if I didn't It would ALWAYS be causing me anguish)

Again, I'm just stunned with how many people took the time to write deep responses to this! Wyldfire made some good points but then again some of the fellas here made some very valid points too! THANK YOU ALL!

Chill dude. We're not saying "PANIC STATIONS! EVERYONE TO THE LIFE RAFTS!" we're just saying let her know you're a not a wimp.

If you bring this topic up too much you look insecure, so just let her be now. She knows how ya feel

 

[HKgunslinger]

Originally posted by Wyldfire
I say that those screaming to dump the girl over this ARE insecure because you blah blah blah etc.

Dump the b!tch. Has nothing to do with insecurity, but everything to do with VALUE and STADARDS. YOUR time is worth more than trashy wh0res who tell you they want to still be "friends" with some bar-fly f#ck-buddy who probably has Hep C!

Do you know how many women are in this world, Willy? Do you know how short life is? If you can't see that you deserve better than this girl, then you are in for one painful-ass life ahead of you.

And Wyldfire; quit defending the dirty trickery of one of your fellow girls. We're on to you, your "advice" here is worthless.

'Slinger

 

[BigWillyStyle]

Gunslinger, did you read my last post? I made it clear I'm not comfortable with those two spending ANY time together, be it alone or in a group. If they do get into a group situation with Simon there she said if it's ok she call me up so I can be there when he's the with my girl(when its a big group meeting)So she agreed to cut out the ex fvck buddy completley. I'm safe, for now anway. But will remain vigilant. Thanks anyways HK

 

[Don Juanabbe]

I still say you should regard her as a f*ck buddy and game other girls at the same time.

You've played into her hands even bringing this sh*t up again.

Don't bring it up again. The proper reaction is to not give a sh*t, especially if this is a grab for power on her part.

You need to line up your backups.

Let's look at the facts here:

1) You've been seeing her for 5 weeks. Not very long.

2) You haven't shagged her yet, which to me is unbelievable.

3) You are acting possessive and insecure, acting like she's you girlfriend.

She has gamed you so good, that she has you worrying and fretting about this sh*t when it should be the other way around.

You'd better turn the tables on this quick or you won't be getting any anytime soon from this girl.

I mean, f*ck, she's got you jumping through hoops like you guys are in an LTR after only 5 weeks and no sex? She's good, I'll tell you that, but I would proceed with extreme caution and don't get too attached too soon.

Your nuts are already shrivelling.

 

[Don Juanabbe]

Originally posted by BigWillyStyle
Gunslinger, did you read my last post? I made it clear I'm not comfortable with those two spending ANY time together, be it alone or in a group. If they do get into a group situation with Simon there she said if it's ok she call me up so I can be there when he's the with my girl(when its a big group meeting)So she agreed to cut out the ex fvck buddy completley. I'm safe, for now anway. But will remain vigilant. Thanks anyways HK

This is f*cking weak. She's got you completely off balance. I can't believe you are discussing this sh*t with her. I especially don't like the part about her having to call you every time she's in a group thing with him. You come off as jealous, possessive and insecure and especially you sound like you are in a serious position of weakness.

I suggest you go back to her in a couple of days and tell her that you rethought the whole situation and you feel that it was unreasonable for you to ask her to phone you if she's out with the dude, and to forget the whole thing about not being 'allowed' to see this guy.

It can be as easy as, "Listen, sweetheart, I thought about that whole situation with Simon, and I think I was being unreasonable."

Trust is important to, and you aren't coming off as a very trusting sort. In fact, she may be feeling a little horish because of this.

Just keep cool. You've got to start getting control and acting like the prize here.

This is a great f*cking thread, it reminds me of when I was 18. It evokes alot of the immature weak sh*t that used to plague me back then. But live and learn, you can turn this around for the better if you start playing your hand correctly.

 

[Wyldfire]

Will...notice how even though your girlfriend was understanding of your feelings, respectful of those feelings and made every effort to be accomodating to your desires...SOME of these guys are STILL telling you to dump her?

Please make a mental note of who is advising you to next a girl who is trying her best to please you. They are insecure idiots who give the absolute WORST advice possible. Don't listen to the bitter little pudwhackers. Listen to the more mature, calm, rational and reasonable posters. Being cautious and aware of possible risks is one thing, but making rash decisions based on what COULD go wrong before anything actually has gone wrong is just ludicrous.

 

[Alpha Male]

Originally posted by Wyldfire
Will...notice how even though your girlfriend was understanding of your feelings, respectful of those feelings and made every effort to be accomodating to your desires...SOME of these guys are STILL telling you to dump her?

Please make a mental note of who is advising you to next a girl who is trying her best to please you. They are insecure idiots who give the absolute WORST advice possible. Don't listen to the bitter little pudwhackers. Listen to the more mature, calm, rational and reasonable posters. Being cautious and aware of possible risks is one thing, but making rash decisions based on what COULD go wrong before anything actually has gone wrong is just ludicrous.

I pretty much agree with this actually.

It's not time to."PANIC!!!!" and have major sit-downs over this, I think what we were saying in the first place (don't let her start being alone with him regularly) was about right.

It was only ever a potential problem to begin with and by bringing it up more often Will's in more danger of rocking the boat than by just playing it cool and seeing what she does.

 

[DrSoSuave]

Who wants to place bets that BigWillyStyle is going to end up in the friends zone soon?

A month? A couple weeks?

 

[Wyldfire]

Originally posted by DrSoSuave
Who wants to place bets that BigWillyStyle is going to end up in the friends zone soon?

A month? A couple weeks?

Who wants to bet that you are really a woman posing as a man? I say this because all you ever do is discourage EVERY person you post to and f*ck with their heads. You are a troll...

 

[ketostix]

Like I said was probably all a sh!t test to begin with; she was testing to see what his response would be to it (would he get jealous or not care?). Maybe Will did the right thing by putting his foot down. Thats the problem with sh!t tests there's only one best way to answer them and only the specific girl knows what the right answer is to her test. This girl's answer to his request not to see fvck buddy was pretty good, and makes me think it was all a test otherwise why'd she even bring it up in the first place. Maybe if Will plays it cool with this issue and esculates the relationship, it'll work out.

I agree with Wyldfire on one thing some people are too quick to tell him to dump her. Goodluck Will and let us know how it goes.

 

[NewMan]

My whole point is that a lot of you guys are suggesting that he just throw in the towel based on something that COULD happen BUT HASN'T. That's just plain DUMB. Life isn't a spectator sport and it doesn't matter who the hell you date, there are the same risks. He likes this girl and so far he claims she has been a good girlfriend. So why on earth should anyone tell him he should get rid of her when she hasn't even done anything wrong? That's not only premature but ridiculous.

I'm not -= not because she had a fvck buddy at any rate...

But - the fact that she's putting this sh#t onto Willy.

The fact that she's stringing him along with Bull Sh#t.

On one minute she pretends to be a good girl.

The next she's got a fvck buddy - that is just that.

The next thing is, she want's to be friends with this fvck buddy and hang out with him and other people.

Pick one.

And on top of that - stop off loading your sh#t onto Big willy.

This chick is a piece fo work...

And on top of it all, Big willy hasn't even fvcked her...

Although she'll gladly take it from some guy - she apparently doesn't care about.

Hmmmm.....

She sounds like a fantastic chick.


She can't hold out 5 months without d#ck - and is forced into picking someone up from a club/bar....

yet she meet's Big Willy - who she's obviously has some connection with - and can easilt last 2 months without C#ck.

Hmmm...

I'll bet you she was still fvcking her FB when she initally meet Big willy.

Whilst Willy was taking her out on dates - she was putting out for this other dude.


She's not consistant in her actions.

Further more she's unloading onto Willy.

I suspect they will have sexual problems during their relationship.

when they break up (and they will) - she will put out for this ex FB, who is now waiting in the wings.....

You see this is the kind of chick that can have no strings attached sex with some random dude - yet has problems fvcking a guy that actually likes and respects her (and her him).

Classic case.

Good luck - because your going to need it.

 

[TurboOverCubicInches]

NewMan, I think you put it better than anyone else and this should probably end the whole ordeal.

Willy, you can't really ask someone not to hang out with someone. If you HAVE to ask her to, then its probably a sign that this isn't a good situation to be in. But I think you are young, and that you really like this girl, which is fine.

I know you are young because you are having trouble seeing the obvious red flags. You will learn though. Don't let anyone's posts on here make you feel inferior, MOST people on here genuinely wanna help you.

Honestly though, there is no better way for someone to learn from something than to let him burn his hand once or twice.

 

[CGE333]

I may as well pile on as well.

Dude I have been the other guy and this bytch is playing you like a Grand Piano. As far as you know she could be using you to make the f-buddy jealous. I am not so much troubled by the fact that she is not sleeping with you, but something is just not right about her “confession”. Not only was it done strictly for her selfish reasons, but women typically confess a little when there is a lot more Bullshyt behind it. This chick is a basket case waiting to happen and she will wait till you are completely in love hook line and sinker to really develop into a psycho (okay more than she already has shown). The best case scenario is that she nailed him a couple of times after you started seeing her, the worst case is she is over at his house right now.

And then she gave you the ol’ why don’t you come along with the group next time. Because you are not naive enough to think that she will not seem him again just because you put your fut halfway down. I can already hear the "I didn't know he was going to be here tonigh" already come out of her mouth when she tells you about "running" into him. Use her for what she is. This woman is a headcase I have been there and done that with a few women that have their heads screwed on like this one does- it never ends well.

Male or female we are all free to do what we want to do so I do not think “forbidding” her to see the guy is the answer. You just need to decide what you are willing to accept in your life and not compromise even if you are dating Pam Anderson. That is the only way in the long run you will be happy and be able to have a successful LTR.

 

[belividere]

So I wasted a couple of pages of bandwidth trying to say what CGE333 said in 3 paragraphs. So what?

 

[alphawolfx]

ah...
the question here must be:

is it more manly to tell her how you actually feel about Simon, and tell her what to do?

or is it more manly to act indifferent?

or is it more manly to "dump the b.itch"?

tough call.

it's more manly for you to make YOUR choice, whatever it is. i think you made the right one. it's your life, and your relationship, and most importantly, YOUR choices.

 

[Don Juanabbe]

In fairness to Wyldfire, of all the women who post on here, she is useful because she does provide another viewpoint. Sometimes a balanced response or an opposite response is good at disecting situations that are not black and white. Like any woman, there are going to be things that she will post that I wouldn't necessarily agree with, but that doesn't mean it doesn't have merit for arguments sake at least.

That said, I still don't like the position of weakness that Willy is now operating under, regardless of whether he chooses to continue pursuing this girl or not.

I'd much rather see him drive up her interest level and get her more in pursuit of him than have him go to her and tell her who she can and can't see.

A woman chases a man until he catches her. That is the only way a real relationship will follow. If the woman ain't chasing and going out of her way to accomodate the man, then there probably isn't enough interest there. When it works this way, there will be less games. Yes, I realise even high interest chicks play games, but that's where you got to weed the girls out from the women.

 

[Trance]

Why dont you just keep with her, but putting the EMOTIONS APART??

Keep dating her, being more busy, not worrying about her, seeing her just as a piece of meat for you to bang for a while, and at the same time trying to get other chicks!!

This way you can be the one USING the other, and you can change your plans ANYTIME.

 

[Wyldfire]

If the woman ain't chasing and going out of her way to accomodate the man, then there probably isn't enough interest there.

This girl IS going out of her way to accomodate Will. She didn't argue or complain when he told her he didn't want her hanging around "Simon". Her response indicates that she values Will and doesn't want him to be upset.

I've taken the position I have on this not because I don't think there is a risk that she could do something wrong. I take this position because to this point she has NOT done anything to warrant Will just dumping her because of something that happened before she got involved with him. IF he were to do that it would make him look SO WEAK and insecure to the girl and everyone else who knows the situation. That's the last thing he wants or needs. If he dumps this girl without having a VALID and SOLID reason it WILL make him look like an insecure pansy...period.

 

[Adrian]

BigWilly.... listen to me. YOU have a very good reason to lose respect for her and feel disturbed. YOU are NOT a hypocrite for feeling this way neither are you reacting like a woman. You're just acting accordingly to your manly nature and making sure noone is invading your ground. Don't call yourself a hypocrite. The true hypocrites are the ones who try to blind you from the fact that both males and females are different. You feel very bad right now because you have feelings for this girl and you're now aware of how she disrespected herself and most of all YOU. It's an insult to know that some other dude had his way with her and left happy while she comes on to you hoping that you would take the "left overs". Personally..... I take it as an indirect insult. It really ****ing pisses me off how some would let a woman get away with all the things they do. A lot of you guys in this forum ****ing piss me off! You're too f*cking busy listening to some of these people that have been brainwashed by feminists and in turn feeling bad because of the way you (like 99.9% of all men) are programmed to think and feel. Dude..... If it's bothering you that much I suggest you talk to her about it and express your outrage. There is absolutely nothing "AFC" about it. You're human too and if she doesn't understand that or gets disrespectful you always have the ability to tell her to "go back and be his f*ck buddy again" and leave the relationship. It's that simple. I'm sure she'll respond back with "But I accepted your past". Just tell her you accepted hers as well (even though you didn't) and do what you have to do. Peace man.