Small Town Sarging

[WestCoaster]

You pegged it Wolf!

I lived in Oregon off and on for more than a decade, received my bachelor's and master's there from two different schools, dated many women from there. I can tell you that you have pegged the state already in just a short period of time there.

I grew up in Idaho and have also lived in Washington, so I consider myself a native Northwesterner, not really a native of one of the three states.

Here's my breakdown of the women from the three states (I now live in Boise, Idaho).

Washington: She's the sophisticated woman with a little bit of money, a touch of arrogance, though she's earned it. Miss Washington is classier, more stylish, and takes care of her money better than Miss Oregon. Washington women aren't perfect by any means, but much better than Miss Oregons. (I actually dated a REAL Miss Oregon once, nice gal but a lot of bats in the belfry. Easy on the eyeballs that's for sure; would be a nightmare to be in an LTR, however. Amazingly, we're still good friends.)

Idaho: The underrated small, town girl. Not rich, but not white trash either. Tries hard, but is pretty unsophisticated and naive. Isn't arrogant, has more of a midwest smile and charm to her. Too trustworthy of dumb, Idaho redneck boys who treat them like dirt and then thinks all guys are like this. Practical, has common sense, not flashy, not dazzling in the looks dept., but makes for a solid companion.

Oregon: The trashy ho with not a lot of dough, but spends it like a drunken sailor. One of the highest divorce rates in the country, Miss Oregon loves them and leaves them at alarming rates ... even the so-called Christian women. Nothing great looks-wise, but they think they're great. They have unearned arrogance about them. Portland and Eugene women are the worst: overly tatooed, pierced, pasty-white skin, and angry. Dating Oregon women is a useless existence unless you're into quickie one-night stands, they have little values here. If I was to live in Oregon again, no way would I date an Oregon native. Find a transplant Wolf. (Other women I knew in Oregon my last few years: a dyke who came on to me, several hippy chicks who were sleeping with anything with a pulse, and the new age woman who thinks she's enlightened, but is very bitter.) Luckily I dated some gals from outside of Oregon who had moved there.

Trust me Wolf: Do some online dating, but put a preference for women who have moved there from out of state. You have to get them before they become Oregon-ized!

* Despite all the health-conscious women in Oregon, tons of them smoke like chimneys!

 

[NorPacWolf]

BIRD IN THE HAND IS WORTH.....TWO IN THE BUSH

I had a second date with a co worker this evening. I have mixed feelings about this date. On the one hand, I like her on a personal level a lot. She's intelligent, and we have tons in common on a personal level. On a strictly erotic, physical level, my level of attraction is lukewarm. Right now, I'm trying to tease out the following:

a. how much of the final lack of results is due to weak game?

b. and how much of the final lack of results is due to my lack of interest? Read gentlemen, and decide for yourselves. Feedback welcome. Feel free to call me out if my behavior was beta/AFC-ish, as I suspect it was to a large degree.

We were scheduled to meet up at 10 this evening to go out to do some barhopping. Things did not look good right away, as I actually wanted to sleep in after hitting the gym and after eating a big meal. Nonethelesss, I know I absolutely cannot blow off this date in such a small town--bad karma if I do. I force myself to wake up, shower, and get dressed. I call my date and ask for directions.

her: "are you excited?"
me: "....absolutely!" (I'm actually being polite: I would rather sleep in).
her: "well, I've been working all day and I'm really looking forward to a night out so I can cut loose."

Venue 1:

I head over to her place, and we walk over to the first bar. It's very, very quiet inside. I'm actually thinking of leaving this bar for another immediately after I walk in. My date insists we stay and I say what the hell, "we're already here." I make my first mistake at this point. I'm too anxious to pay, and I mumble "I'll buy the first round of drinks." Shoulda waited to see what her response was.

The two of us sit down and chat. Actually, she stands and I sit, since I'm tired. We talk, but it's mainly her talking, and forcing conversation. Eventually, we talk about Oregon and how different these people are from people in the big city. I can't tell if I'm not involved in the conversation because I'm shy and nervous about our evening out, or because I'm tired, or because I'm not interested. Perhaps it's a combination of all three. I actually had a hidden agenda: my evening out tonight and last were recon missions to see how good these places are for sarging. They're not bad in my opinion: the girls seem friendly and very open to conversation. My date and I are talking, and I'm looking around (my bad for saying this) for hotter, younger chicks. I find out she's actually in her late twenties (I had guessed privately that she was in her mid thirties). We talk and discover we have a lot of other stuff in common.

I look around and see a Mary Steenburgen look a like staring and smilng at me. She stares and smiles at me several times. I'd rate her about a '6'. What the hell. I open the set. She's with two guys seated at a table. All three of them look pretty bored. One of the two guys later AMOG's me (very politely, and with only minimal objection from myself). I actually remember a strategy employed by a wing of mine who opens tables consistently on a successful basis. Just entertain the entire group. I introduce myself to all three in the party. They're completely cool. My date sits back, not joining the four of us. I introduce her anyway to the others. After a minute or so, the guys invite us to sit with them. I invite my date over and we all sit down. I sit next to the guys and chat with them. My date sits with the girl and chats her up. Then we switch and I chat up the '6' and the guys chat up my date. I'm starting to feel a lot better. I feel more energetic, more natural. I chat with the two guys about the action around us (HB's). They don't want to approach. I don't see any better than a '7' around me, so I'm not thrilled either. The Mary Steenburgen lookalike chats me up and starts spilling the beans on her life story. I catch about 50% of it. I just nod and say 'that's great!' or 'wow!' when the place is too loud to hear. I guess she's interested since she's talking so much. I grow more attracted to her as a result of her self disclosure and because of the intense eye contact.

A guy walks by in a fur coat. I compliment him and ask him if he's pimped out. He says he's going for a russian mafia look. I lower my voice and ask him for tips on how to sarge in our small town. He advises me that cold approaches do not work. We chat for about five minutes. He says I look like I'm about 23, and thinks I could sarge successfully as long as I join some local groups. I rejoin my group. I apologize and tell my date that I was drawn into a 'risque' conversation that the other fellow had initiated.

My date tells me in good-natured fashion, with a big smile: "yeah, I could see that you were really resisting the conversation there." Woops. Busted.

The two girls, my date and esp. the M.S. look alike feel a beat/pulse at the table: "what's that?" (Remember when I said earlier these people are "kinesthetic?" This is a perfect example, as I had completely overlooked the noise prior to their mentioning it). The two girls speculate on where the noise is coming from. Upstairs, things are quiet. We all decide to investigate downstairs. Holy Crap! So this is where the party's at! People dancing, hip hop music, strobe lights, liquid smoke, costumes. Great! I instruct my party to walk around (I'm looking for HB's). After a few minutes, I settle in and feel completely comfortable. The people are so damn friendly! Everyone says 'excuse me' or 'sorry' if they bump into you even slightly. Cool. It's a high energy but mellow vibe. Very nice. The AMOG isolates my date, leading her to the dance floor or to the bar. "Excuse me," my date says. Good move on his part. I'm left alone with the M.S. look alike. Should I invite the '6' to dance? I'm too shy. She walks off and goes home after I don't say anything to her for three minutes. I'm left all alone. I swing around and see the AMOG kino-ing my date. I'm slightly jealous. Not overwhelmingly so. I keep looking around. No real hotties above a '7'. I don't feel compelled to sarge as a result, and feel inhibited and conflicted since I'm with a 'date.' I meet up with the AMOG and my date. "Heey! There you are!" she says. I'm getting tired of this place. No hot girls. I want to check out a different venue.

***

The AMOG sees that I'm not objecting very strongly to his kino-ing my date. I do object, more out of pride, than anything else. But I'm torn, as I want a hotter girl on my arm, and don't feel a strong erotic attraction to my date. The second venue's even better. The two guys chat up two girls standing outside. I go inside with my date. We dance, and grind. It's fun. I feel inhibited about dancing initially as I don't often dance, even when I'm at a club. As time passes, I become less inhibited and kino my date as much as my courage will muster: I guess I could have kissed her if I wanted. Other guys are checking out my date, flirting with her, etc. I'm looking around, looking for hotties. I'm grinding my date crotch to crotch. Basically feeling her up. No objections. I don't kiss her because I'm too shy. As the night goes on, I get more and more turned on and I think "I want to fyck her." But at the same time, I'm still scanning the room, wishing I had one or two other hotter girls. More grinding, more ambivalence, no make out session. Finally, the lights come on. I want to bail. Possibly to do the deed. My date insists on waiting for the two guys. LOL. The AMOG is still sarging my date as we linger outside, watching the revelers loiter. I get his number, saying we gotta hang again and form a band (an inside joke about sarging chicks).

I walk my date home. I put my foot in my mouth again and mention that I'm thinking of partying at a frat house. This is at least the third time that I've mentioned partying at a frat house and the implication cannnot be lost on her, if you know what I mean.

***

Conclusion: I think my date and I mutually LJBF'ed each other. The drunk AMOG had a much stronger attraction to my date than I did. I was torn in a bunch of different directions: I did not want another guy having sex with my date obviously, but I didn't feel that strongly attracted to my date either (but after three drinks and an hour and a half of grinding and groping, I became much more attracted). I was moderately attracted to their female friend, but she was also a '6'. I didn't want to offend my date by openly hitting on other girls, but continued to scan the room the entire evening for prospects. I opened a table with a '6' because I was itching to sarge, even though I was on a date. I think it's just better if we are honest with each other and just be friends with each other. We get along, she is great company but my erotic attraction is not what it could or should be. It's there, but I feel like I could take it or leave it. I'm just not invested in it. As far as the AMOG, I wish him the best and if my date and him hook up, I have no objections. He was the aggressor and isolated her. I barely blinked, knowing what was going on.

I don't know. Tonight was a weird combination of AFC-itis, sarge a holic behavior/addiction, a strong desire to LJBF my date or even not to go out with her at all, then a mounting (no pun intended he he) desire to go all the way with my date.

At the end my date turns her cheek and I kiss her on the cheek and not on the lips. Even after all that, I wanted her to want to be 'intimate'/go all the way with me. Pride, ambivalence, laziness. I had to do it, just as a learning experience. As they say, a bird in the hand is worth two in the bush. I just could not maintain my focus on my date. So, criticism of my game and general feedback highly welcome.

Peace,

NorPacWolf

 

[warpy]

sounds like a formula

it seems you got the hang of it, you can finally put to rest all the cold approaches for now, i am not saying it wont work or anything but it looks like you need to have your possy before anyone will do anything more than smiling back.

keep going man, i am realy enjoying your thread.. oh one more thing
you only live once, take a plunge everynow and then and do what you are thinking of doing at the moment you feel is right.

cheers.

 

[NorPacWolf]

Reflections on Weekend Close Call

Close Call #4

One thing I've noticed about all of my close calls this year is that when a male does not "seal the deal," and leaves the female hanging, you create a lot of resentment all around you. Least importantly, you create resentment and frustration within yourself. 'There it was,' you tell yourself, 'and you passed it up.' More importantly, it creates frustration within the female. In our society, a woman is not really allowed to initiate sex. They can certainly follow the lead of a male who a) has showed some initiative and b) who she is interested in, but that is not the same thing as being the person to initiate. Therefore, if the male initiates the moves towards sex, and the female is interested in said male, and the male then retracts the offer, then the female is understandably and justifiably left angry. The repercussions don't end there with one dissatisfied female. She will potentially tell her friends about the blown encounter. Even if she doesn't, the male loses a possible endorsement or recommendation in the future, as well as the social proof accorded to the male who closes with an interested female. In addition, the male opens himself to the possibility of a "revenge fyck"; the female takes up an offer of a less ambivalent male to show the offending male that she cannot be toyed with. This may very well, even is almost definitely going to happen in my case. The drunken, friendly AMOG was complimented by my date as being "sweet" for having a crush on his teacher, a definite indicator/warning to me to make my move or else.

This is a long way of saying "I blew it" this weekend with the female I was interested in and who was interested in me. We have tons in common on a personal level, almost to a frightening degree, but I was sort of imposing a barbie doll/Britney Spears standard which may be asking for too much in my (relatively) small town. In SoCal, if you are decent at pickup, you can walk away with 3-4 numbers/makeouts/and/or sex/kiss closes over the course of a Friday/Saturday session. With a new set of females. Every weekend. Here, that's not the case.

The only explanation for my backing out so often this year, and hence not closing but instead being left befuddled by my close calls, is my deeply religious upbringing. Even when I consciously tell myself I need to do x, y, and z, I seem to unconsciously undermine myself. In the meantime, I think this woman that I've dated and I are going to be friends from now on. I think she is probably a bit upset by my flubbing the date, as am I. In a smallish town, you have to close quickly, you can't just practice and flub situations over and over: there are two few opportunities and a strong likelihood that word will get around if you prove yourself incompetent or just plain clumsy. The bottom line is that it's easy to say 'just have fun and don't take yourself too seriously.' The reality is that people's feelings are on the line, and these feelings become difficult to ignore in tight knit communities. In a big city, yes, you can get away with being insensitive. Not so in small towns. Someone should write a manual for small town/social circle sarging. To put a positive spin on all this, I would not even have these opportunities if I hadn't been reading up and pursuing DJ-ing in the first place. I hope I can become more socially adept sooner rather than later.

--

PS: I was just astonished by the level of interest my date generated this weekend. She twice had her picture taken, once by a guy (while I was away) asking for a picture of her chest, while another guy took her picture saying he was out hunting. I told him to fyck off, but then there was the AMOG (who I practically invited to hit on her), and probably other individuals trying to hit on, grope or otherwise move in on my date. In other words, the level of interest was very high in my date, while my own interest in her was lukewarm. She did look very different/much sexier at night, and may very well have given off a distinctly sexual vibe, as she practically told me at the start of the night that she was looking to be intimate (although not in exactly those terms). This being Halloween weekend had something to do with this as well. But it also makes me wonder if my rating system of females is distinctly unrealistic and skewed.

Note to self: Also, why do I assume that if I hook up with one female, that it precludes seeing others? As long as I am not lying, and have not made a definite commitment, there is no ethical problem here. If I had seen this girl, it would in no way have prevented me or precluded me from dating other women.

 

[NorPacWolf]

Cafe Email Close

Email closed a girl at a cafe tonight. She was so cute I had to try. She has dark, bushy eyebrows like Brooke Shields and Kathy Ireland with light brown hair and dark brown eyes. Very cute. Her body language was very closed: her legs were crossed tightly together and one arm was crossed over her body while she read. I was sitting two tables away but moved to the table right next to her so we could talk. I open by asking her if she was studying for an exam. I'm very, very careful with my body language: I look over my shoulder and don't lean in. I also speak very, very slowly and deliberately. I try to employ NLP. That is, I use words such as 'feel' and 'comfortable' since the people here are kinesthetics. Also, I run a few routines such as my 'strawberry fields' routine. I also ask her a question and I tell her that she is a 'visual' person since she looks up and to her left. She agrees. I ask her how her weekend went. She says it was pretty boring, that she stayed at home. I'm a little surprised considering how pretty she is. However, I'll find out the reason later. She says she usually only has one close friend, but that's changed ever since her summer job where she made lots of friends. She wants to have more friends now, but doesn't want to get carried away or socialize to excess.

This girl speaks very slowly. It's almost like English is her second language, although she's obviously a native speaker. She has to take a long time to think of her responses: she has to look away from me and she has to concentrate hard in order to come up with her answers. I introduce some kino by touching her rings. I tell her one ring represents the fact that she's non judgemental. I shake her hand twice and she doesn't jerk her hand away or give me a cold fish handshake. I don't ask for her email or number, I just ask how I can get into contact with her again. She says she's at the cafe a lot. I ask if she has an email or a number. She says she can give me her email. I shake her hand in a 'homeboy' kind of handshake and she laughs. I tell her that I'll give her another personality test as soon as I read up more on it, which is true. She's curious about what I'm reading: I just tell her it's psychology reading, which is also true.


CONCLUSION:

Believe it or not, I consider this to be a successful approach. We spoke for a 'long time.' Between five and ten minutes, which might as well be infinity given how quickly my sarges usually end around here. She goes to a Bible College so I don't know how far or how fast she'll go. Odd, I just posted about how my religious upbringing makes me feel guilty about sarges and about my sexuality, and now I meet a girl who goes to a bible college and wants to be more social and outgoing. A possible win-win situation in the making? He he he.

 

[highspd]

Captain

Hey bro, I think you are doing fine. You are still new to the area; it'll take a while for you to know the hunting grounds. Meet up with other PUAs and get their advice where hbs hang out. I suggest you to go out maybe at least 4 times in a week and check out different venue. As for the girls that you are becoming friends with I would suggest for you to use them as pivots. Seeing that you are in a small town, the way I see for you to have any success are building your social circles around these girls. You have already established trust and comfort with them; I don’t see a problem for you there. They are probably willing to introduce you to their other girlfriends. I have a higher percentage scoring within my social circle then cold approaches. Give that a try brother…Remember, sex for us is all about physical attraction, for woman you need to establish that emotional/personality attraction; unless you are Brat Pitt…They will just fyck you on the spot…

We’ll sarge again soon and I have a FR to post for you to look at from my sarge this past weekend. I had an awesome time.

 

[NorPacWolf]

CAPTAIN CAVEMAN STRIKES AGAIN

Thanks to all my bro's for posting feedback and support, especially highspd, (se)x factor and westcoaster. I appreciate it, seriously. Onto the field report.

I'm back in SoCali for work and play. It's really good to be back. I have quality wings who are also good guys. Tons of women, and get this, they know how to talk! Unbelievable! Number closed three times this weekend, twice at night Saturday, once during the day Sunday.

***

FRIDAY NIGHT
Friday night was my 'getting my feet wet' night as I haven't been sarging in socal for nearly two months. I open one set after my wing sends me in to approach a blonde seated about six feet away from me with her arms folded across her chest. My wing gives me an opener; 'tell her 'you look upset.'' I think he's joking for a second, but then realize he's sending me in. I'm sparked into action, and walk over. 'Are you angry?' I ask her, hopefully in a teasing way. She says no. She's still seated with her arms folded, but doesn't appear to have her shield up. I sit down and start talking with her about the college football game on tv, I find out where she goes to school, blah blah blah. I run some stuff from The Game. I ask her if she's wearing a wig. She says 'no' and I yank her hair without getting her permission to check. She looks at me with a look of irritation. I yank her hair again. Any reaction is better than no reaction I figure. I ask her what she thinks of my friend's jacket (my wing who sent me in) and she says it looks really nice. I ask her what she thinks of my outfit. I unbutton the top two buttons of my shirt to (hopefully) get her aroused. She takes a look but still seems unenthused. Her friend comes by, grabs her and takes off, after we all exchange pleasantries. I see my target's flaw after she gets up to leave. While she has a very pretty face, she is extremely wide through the hips: big bottom syndrome. Nice to get a sarge out of the way, my first in SoCali in a while.

***

SATURDAY NIGHT
Saturday night proceeds even better still. We hit up a couple venues on the westside that are side by side. These two places have given me the willies in the past since these are the first two places I sarged at night, in a very very awkward manner. Now I'm back, many months later. We all hang out for a bit, but after a few minutes, I'm itching to go in.

Sarge #1
I open a two set with a 'do I look like a drug dealer?' opener. I go in and open. I feel terribly awkward and unnatural using a canned opener, esp. an opener that I don't know how to bridge to other material. The targets are a '6' blonde and a '5.5' brunette. The blonde responds to my opener with an awkward smile and a 'no' in response to my query. I have no idea where to go with this opener and her response to it. I ask them why I don't look like a drug dealer and what a drug dealer looks like. I'm confused. The girls are confused. I eject. I head back to my wings. I am so glad to get my first sarge of the night out of the way. I decide canned material doesn't work for me and decide to just act naturally: up, fun, high energy, ad libbing along the way. I ask questions to qualify the girls, to get to know them, and to get info for a possible date close.

Sarge #2
I see a two set I want to open. These are two blondes seated at a table in a corner of the bar. I bring a wing with me this time to open, and like I said, I decide to go 'natural', rather than going in with a canned opener. "How you girls doing?" I say. I just roll up with my wing following closely behind. I get smiles from both girls. The prettier one is on my left. I ask her if she's watching the college football game. I ask her if she's attending the school of a hated rival to qualify her. She says she's from TX, and I tell her I was just in TX attending a 'bachelor party.' I never miss a bachelor party, I joke with her. We fluff for a bit about TX and Dallas. I tell her we should get together to party, esp. if we're both in Dallas. I number close her. I tell her to draw a picture on a piece of paper along with her number so I'll remember her. She writes her name and number and 'Texas!' down too. Props to my wing who did an excellent job occupying the non target.

Sarge #3
We all head out and go to the venue just next door. This is a large, multi story venue which typically attracts huge crowds during the weekend. It's busy tonight, but not overwhelmingly so. My wings and I huddle and after extensive experience sarging here, they've concluded that the upper balcony area for whatever reason, seems to be more sargeable. I walk upstairs and true to their word, there's a two set leaning over the rail. There's a tall blonde a HB '7'; 5'8", nice body, cool black hat, tongue piercing, with cute face on the left side of the rail. There's an Asian girl, a HB '6', in her late twenties, average height standing to the blonde's right. They both hang over the rail checking out the action below, so I joke with them about this. I go in with indirect body language, leaning over the rail (not leaning towards them however) so that all three of us are side by side, talking over our shoulders to each other, rather than all of us being face to face with each other (i.e., Mystery indirect body language).

me: "I see you girls are checking out the action below!"
The two girls give me big smiles and get wide eyed right away, so I know I'm in.

me: "that's what I was doing last night, checking out the action from above. I actually held my drink out over the railing, and I was about to drop it on some guy's head who I didn't like."

The blonde is laughing now: "oh really? ha ha!"

My wing (unintentionally) AMOG's me at this point. (Note: I spoke to him months earlier about not entering my sets unless I explicitly bring him in, but since we haven't winged in a while this is leading to a bit of confusion). His enthusiasm gets the better of him this time and he enters the set and occupies my target. Uh oh. Instead of talking to the blonde now, I'm talking to the Asian girl. We ask each other where we went to school. She asks me when I graduated. I tell her a couple years back and she says 'oh ok, you're twenty three.' I say 'oooh, that's so sweet.' I hold out my arms and motion for her to give me a hug. She leans back and shakes her head 'no,' but with a big goofy smile on her face. She resists for a second but then comes in for her hug. Note: I remember Juggler saying you should reward a girl whenever she does something you like. We hug for a few seconds and I caress her back. I'm actually nowhere close to 23 so I rewarded her for guessing wrong. I continue to run ****y/funny. I tell her that I like her clothes and that I'm buying some new clothes too. I tell her I feel more confident when I'm dressed well. I tell her my plate's always full but I can always make room for more (girls). She's laughing like crazy, buying into my boasting (I think). I ask her what kinda guys she likes. She says 'I usually date white guys, BUT my girlfriend likes Asian guys,' she says glancing over her shoulder and pointing to her girlfriend with her thumb. Stop the press.

me: "Hey, E!" I call out to my wing. I grab him and pull him over to talk to the Asian girl. "This girl likes white guys, you should talk to her!" I switch places and start talking to the blonde again. Everyone is shocked by my assertiveness. I tell the blonde directly: "your friend says that she likes white guys and that you like Asian guys, so I decided to come over here." She looks at me with her eyes and mouth wide open, with a nervous smile, shocked, but unwilling to deny her friend's account either. I see her tongue stud and ask to see it. She sticks her tongue out for me and I tell her I like it. I start kino-ing right away: We hold and rub hands; I slowly massage her arms. We're face to face now, rather than shoulder to shoulder. This girl begins hitting me over and over and then begins feeling up my arms (IOI). I pull her hand up to my chest and have her feel my chest muscles. I ask her her name. She says: "I was just going to ask you that! (IOI)" I tell her my name. "Wait, that's my ex boyfriend's name. I just broke up with him two days ago... I'll have to call you 'A' instead." I ask for her number. She says "wait, I want to get your number." She pulls out her cell phone. I tell her to call me so I'll have her number too. She complies. I tell her we should hang out some time because I think she's cool. "Well, there's a game on tomorrow...." her voice trails off. This girl is trying to date close me for a date twelve hours later. I'm not sure if I'll be awake then, and am a bit surprised she wants to see me again so soon, so I don't pick up on it. I've also humored her about enjoying football as much as she does to ingratiate myself, so I'm not really up for a football game.

I told her that I like certain teams only if they're doing well. She's sensitive about the loyalty issue I discover here: Her: "I believe you should stick with your team, no matter what!" Obviously, she's probably referring to her boyfriend, rather than to football fans. I try to reassure her indirectly, saying my friends, pointing my wings, are my blood brothers and that we stick with each other through thick and thin. She still looks at me suspiciously. She's clearly still hurting from her break up, but clealry wants to rebound quickly. She doesn't want to be alone.

To be continued....

 

[NorPacWolf]

CAVEMAN...

...The Asian girl has stopped talking to my wing and he's talking with me and my target now, and I'm a little worried. My wing does his best to help me out now, however. He tells my target that girls usually pay to take me out. I tell her that I like expensive dinners and gifts, and perhaps a first mortgage payment. My target's jaw drops: "That's asking for a lot!" Then I tell her my wing takes direct payment, such as cash, direct debit or money orders rather than gifts, but I prefer to avoid this since this is illegal. At this point, her Asian friend grabs her and drags her away. I've been trying to remind myself that when sets go well, I should try to escalate kino and be more direct. This time, I should've isolated her for a makeout session. I run out of time this time: the ****block drags away the blonde cutie.

***

Conclusion:

Overall, a good Saturday night. I opened three times. I used a canned opener the first time and clearly, the set did not go well. I've always been opposed to using canned material and just don't feel natural using it. I then opened two more times just being myself and ad libbing, and vibing my way through both sets, with this approach yielding better results. The third set in particular went well. Multiple IOI's such as hand holding, hitting, asking for my name, my number and her attempting to date close me for the next day. I really have to ratchet up the intensity next time when I see IOI's like that; more kino, and I MUST isolate her next time, or at least attempt to do so. I must get her away from her girlfriend, so we can get down to business.

Overall, it's so much fun to meet cool good looking girls who are fun and can hold a conversation too. It's also great to be back with wings who are assertive and know what they're doing. At the beginning of the night, all of us talked about our goals for the night. Also, we engaged in exercises where we went around in a circle and ad libbed DHV's, negs, push pulls, etc as a warm up. Excellent. My wings are quite serious and dedicated and their results have improved noticeably. They send me in to sets and give me openers; they help me out with sets by social proofing me, and by occupying non targets. These guys are skilled.

 

[NorPacWolf]

Sunday Day Game

On Sunday afternoon, I got a third number close. This girl is clearly the most intelligent and classiest of the girls I've met so far since I've been back in SoCal.

I'm at a cafe on the westside, browsing through some magazines. A girl rolls up and seats herself next to me. She eyes me shyly or apprehensively: I can't quite tell yet. She reads a book and eats her coffeecake.

Me: "that smells really good." I tell her, eyeing her cake.
Her: "oh, does it? You should try some," she says pointing to the bakery display in the cafe. "You can have some of mine."
Me: "yeah, but it's all empty calories, I have to watch my carbs."
Her: "I know, I feel so guilty," she says looking down.

She says she's reading a cool book about POW's in Iraq. Uh oh, political talk; I have to steer her away from that.

Me: "are you a police officer?" I know, totally off topic but it gets away from something serious.
Her: "Noo, do I look like a police officer?"
Me: "Is that a line?"
Me: "OK, I have a line for you: 'do I look like a drug dealer to you?"
Her: "No, you don't look like a drug dealer," she says softly, shaking her head side to side.
Me: "Thank you."
She smiles warmly.

We fluff some more. I'm actually browsing through a wrestling magazine (a guilty pleasure of my own). She asks me if I like watching wrestling, and I tell her yes, it puts me into a competitive frame of mind, which I need for my line of work. She starts taking me on a 'yes' ladder by asking if I'm competitive (of course I am, I just told her so; see, this girl has game lol). Then she asks me something curious. She asks me what type of investments I think are best. I tell her real estate. She says that's risky, but that other financial investments might be better. (It turns out she's setting me up a for a date close, as you'll see below).

I ask her what she does for a living. She pauses for a few seconds.
Me: "See, you have to have a five second response ready for me right away."
She remains unflustered. She gives me a general description, after careful thought.

She doesn't give me an exact job title or description, but she seems to be an investment consultant. She tells me the CEO is her best friend. I guffaw, at her social proofing herself. She invites me to a seminar on Wed. night, where I can learn a lot about sound financial investments. She asks me if I have a suit and tie, since there will be some very important people there. She says it's free of charge and I should call her if I want to go. She also asks me my ancestry or background. She tells me that her CEO is of a particular Asian ancestry (demonstrating rapport: IOI).

I tell her to give m her number or her business card. Instead, she wants to get my number (IOI), just like the girl on Saturday night. Then, she writes her name and number down. I ask her to write down something so I'll remember her, and she writes down the time and date of the seminar. Cool. I try to kino her by asking about her rings and reaching to touch her hands. She's not cool with that. She actually takes her rings off one by one and I put them on and flash them like a newlywed bride. I get a giggle out of her.

She's a cute girl. About a '6'. Brunette, with a mediterranean look. Cute but not gorgeous face. Mid twenties, thin/nice bod, very nice clothes and a cute mouth. She says she's from NY and doesn't like how indirect people are in SoCal. I tell her LA's a wonderful place where you can meet any type of person you want. "Yeah," she says, buying into my positive frame and shedding her old, negative frame immediately.

I time constrain myself after the close saying I have to go to the gym.
Her: "Well, have a nice time at the GYM, A" she says, using my name at the end. She seems a little irritated that I've bailed on her so quickly like that. I guess you should leave them wanting more, but I don't like to irritate 'good girls' like this either. The last two girls I've talked to are clearly sensitive to being 'abandoned' or 'played' so you have to walk a fine line.

I really like day game a lot. I love night game too. Day game allows me to speak in a 'normal' tone of voice; you get to dress casually, and you can really get to know a person in depth. This girl I just talked to was really smart, very genuine and just a quality girl. She is clearly LTR material.

 

[NorPacWolf]

THE PERILS OF PHONE GAME

Aah, the perils of phone game. I called four girls, only got into contact with one. Then I made the mistake of 'chatting her up' instead of closing for the date. This girl is always working at night and has to get back to work. Gotta remember to just cut right to the chase. I usually try to call between 8 and 930 PM, early in the week, Mon to Wed. I can usually reach most of the girls, but my problems with phone game are as follows:

a. I've gotten into the bad habit of not really having a plan or structure to the phone game. As a result, the girls get the sense that I'm wasting their time, and tell me to call later. I wonder why. Because I don't have a plan? Duh!

b. I get very nervous about calling girls on the phone. I don't know why.

What are your guys' conversion rates from numbers to dates? Any specific suggestions for phone game? Peace.

NorPacWolf, aka Captain

 

[NorPacWolf]

SOCIAL ROBOTS

I've become a "social robot" in my return to socal. I went out Friday, Saturday, Sunday during the day, Sunday at night, Tuesday at night and Friday night specifically for the purpose of sarging (the only reason I didn't go out Wed. night was because of another obligation and I didn't go out Thursday because I was tired, otherwise I would have gone out eight straight nights; also, I spent the day Friday shopping for gear for going out). Instead of calling up girls and setting up dates, I got greedy and obsessed and went out sarging with wings instead to prowl for even more chicks. The thing is, your pride gets wrapped up in wanting to improve, and the "game" dictates the more the better (chicks). The logic is one of quantity not quality. As a result, I am thoroughly burned out and as of right now, I never want to see a bar again in my life. I'm not going to bars to grab a drink and chill and socialize and watch a game. I'm going there to rate chicks and 'test' my game. It's a really shallow life. Plus, I feel like I'm good enough already. When I'm well rested and when I do this every once in a while, I get phone numbers pretty easily or get more than that if I could only read the signs properly while I'm talking to a girl (I won't say count 3 IOI's, as that would only exacerbate my current problem). My social circle down here in terms of friends consists only of PUA's and it's really getting me down. I think I'm not going out tonight. Just rent a movie and just chill. Even be a nerd and go to a cafe. What's wrong with that? I need a break.

I think the goal of learning how to interact properly with women, being assertive and learning how to live a quality life where sex is a good part of the mix is a truly noble mission. But when it becomes the primary focus of your life, it's time to step back. Last night, I was SO sick of talking about game and seeing life strictly from that angle that I became physically ill. One week off. That's it. I'm at the point where two nights a week, or on the very odd occasion, three nights out a week is more than enough, and I'm not talking about gaming only, just going out to have fun. Once you add pride to the mix, it becomes dangerous. Just a friendly reminder.

Peace,

NorPacWolf

 

[NorPacWolf]

CATALOGUE OF CLOSE CALLS

After nearly eight months of sarging, it's time to assess results. The good news: bootcamp truly works. I have never really tried cold approaches in my life, and after putting my mind to it, bootcamp has yielded many, many opportunities. The bad news is I have been so surprised at how responsive some women have been, I've been too shocked to actually capitalize on the results. Just as frequently, I've often not been able to tell when a girl is giving me signals that she is ready to close the deal. Women use a very "indirect" language to tell you "I'm ready" so I'll try to make things as explicit as possible. Below is a catalogue of the "close calls" I've had so far since April '05.

***

CLOSE CALL #1 (posted on April 23, 2005 as Allan976):

This situation takes place in a grocery store, late afternoon. I ask a woman about which yogurt is good. It takes me several days and several conversations with others to realize that she wanted sex, based on the following comment:

Her: "...but it all depends on whether you like it thin....or thick and creamy..." she looks over her shoulder at me to gauge my reaction.

---clearly, this girl is subliminally referring to a money shot in the face. The yogurt serves as a 'proxy' or substitute for my, you know, man juice. That's how girls do it; they make indirect references to things.

***

CLOSE CALL #2 (at Las Vegas Airport at a stopover, posted May 17)

Me: "so what brings you to Las Vegas?"
Her: "oh, I travel here for a vacation every two months or so. I'm here with a couple friends, I met them here in Vegas. They checked out already, and I didn't want to stay in my hotel room all alone."

---It took me nearly six months to figure this one out: several friends told me that this girl was inviting me back to her room, based upon that comment. I didn't 'get it' at all at the time she said that.

***

CLOSE CALL #3 (at a coffeeshop Friday afternoon, posted June 11)

...She asks me where I live. I tell her I live a couple of miles from here (the cafe). She tells me she lives on street x, cross street y. Do you know where that is? She says her place is right around the corner from the cafe, pointing outside. I tell her I have to get going. I tell her that I'm going to give her a complimentary massage.

Her: oooooh.

I get behind her and rub the base of her neck, her shoulders and upper arms.

Me: oooh, you're really relaxed through the shoulders--if you were tense, you'd be scrunched up like this (I imitate someone with their shoulders scrunched up).

Her: (moans softly). ooooooh, mmmmmm. I slowly rub her shoulders and arms, up and down.

---This near LR shows you how clueless I am. This girl tells me where she lives, kisses me and begins moaning when I touch her. I STILL don't close. Jeez.

***

CLOSE CALL #4 (Near Threesome with 'London Girls,' posted June 22)

I make my approach. After opening by asking what they're drinking, I discover they're from London. I fluff about having a friend there and ask where they've been in LA. After a couple of minutes, the 6.5 says she can't hear what I'm saying. I stand up from my stool and put my arm around both of them: "I can't hear you either, I'll come over." I pat them both on the head and call them my "little London girls" and they laugh out loud. I caress the girls' arms and hug them both while talking to them to see how how much I can get away with. I don't notice any resistance.

---Two girls sitting alone at a bar, telling me to come closer, from out of the country. Perfect setup. I blew it again!

***

CLOSE CALL #5 (Married Woman gives me every buying signal/IOI in the book, posted August 20).

HB7: "water, that's a nice choice!" (sign 1: situational opener; ****y and funny?)

I can't tell if she's being sarcastic or not, so I don't reply. Plus, I've just entered the joint, so I want to check out the action before being pulled into a set.

I take a casual stroll around the bar. Again, a 70/30 split m/f. I observe for five minutes or so. I don't see or feel any openings. I then see another guy in a suit also observing the bar. I talk to him for five minutes. As I'm talking, I see HB7 stare at me again (sign 2: staring). Two IOI's and I'm in. I walk over to the bar and order some more water, so HB7 can hear me. HB7 also orders a water at this point (sign 3: mirroring)...

---Married girl gives me at least 6 IOI's total. I didn't even think she was interested in me at the time even though she was obviously sarging me. Duh!

***

CLOSE CALL #6 (Very Direct 18 Year Old, posted Sept. 10)

A drunk eighteen year old stares at me, introduces herself and grabs me. She's about 5' 9", very thin, pretty brunette. First, she stares at me. Then she walks over to me. She gets directly in my face and wraps her arm around my waist. She puts her lips to my ear:

Her: "Hiiii, my name is Niiina. What's youuur name?"

Me: "Allan." I'm getting a hard-on, and I don't want her to notice, so I turn sideways so she won't feel it. I'm not ready for instant kino:

Her: (Whispering breathily in my ear): "Allan? That's a beauuuuuutiful name. That's my friend (such and such; an 18 year old Sarah Jessica Parker look a like I number close a little later). Isn't she beauuuutiful?" She remains standing there, not saying or doing anything. In retrospect, she wants a kiss/makeout/fyck. I'm caught off guard and do nothing. There's just a gaggle of HB's, guys ****blocking and I don't make a move. Nina moves on. I love drunk girls.

---I was a little shocked at how direct she was. I knew what she wanted, but I got nervous.

***

CLOSE CALL #7 (Halloween, 2005)

....Other guys are checking out my date, flirting with her, etc. I'm looking around, looking for hotties. I'm grinding my date crotch to crotch.

---I didn't close out this girl either. She was a '6' and my level of interest was lukewarm. Earlier in the evening she told me:

her: "are you excited?"
me: "....absolutely!" (I'm actually being polite: I would rather sleep in).
her: "well, I've been working all day and I'm really looking forward to a night out so I can cut loose."

***

CONCLUSION:

I was ready to post a 'pook' style essay on girlspeak: I'm tired right now, so instead I'll just write a rough draft. The bottom line is that if you suspect a girl is ready for sex, she most likely is. The second point is, girls will use a 'proxy' or substitute to express their interest. If they think YOU are 'beautiful', they will say something like 'you have a beautiful name' or 'you have a cute shirt' or something along those lines. They won't say 'I want sex' they'll say 'I didn't want to be in my hotel room all alone'; and instead of saying 'I want a money shot to the face', they'll say 'I want it whether it's thin or thick and creamy.' Women's ingenuity in both expressing sexual arousal and hiding it from you is amazing. When a girl asks you if you are excited and says she wants to cut loose, she is ready for sex, unless you blow it. I know this sounds very obvious but I wanted to repeat it to myself, just so it's clear in my mind. As Mystery once told me: "don't think, just react!"

Peace,

NorPacWolf, aka Captain

 

[NorPacWolf]

FLYING SOLO IS FUN

I don't have a wing out here in Oregon so I decided to fly solo this morning/last night. I felt very little anxiety about this. I think the reason is, AsianPlayboy told me he'd been sarging in Dallas for only three months before he saw significant results. I figure I better get on the ball. I try three venues first, with very few pretty girls, if any, then have a bit more fun at the fourth and fifth venues.

For anyone reading this thread, I'd like some feedback on my kino progression. More specifically, I need a natural way to kiss close these girls.

Venue #1: Bar near my house.

The place is dead. Also, it seems like everyone in the bar knows everyone else already. Guys are dressed very, very casually. Wool caps, pullover fleece jackets, blue jeans only, sneakers. It's pretty quiet, and pretty empty. I'm the only non-caucasian in the house. The girls are pretty, but are at tables in sets of three and four with one guy or more. There's a group of three girls on a couch. I don't approach. Two fatties, one blonde 7, looks like late twenties from a distance. Upon closer inspection, she's actually closer to 40. Still damm good, especially for her age. This is where I blow it now: two tall, tall girls, one a blonde '8', the other a brunette '6' enter. They stand to my immediate left. Then they stand to my immediate right. Then they leave. Doh! I didn't open: my only excuse is that this is my first night flying solo in town, and I'm nervous.

Lesson learned: hovering girls need to be opened. By yours truly.

Venue #2: Indie Rock Scene:

I walk in, pay the cheap cover, and scan the room. I walk from front to back. Not a single hot girl. I decide to wait it out anyway since I paid a cover. I buy a drink, and a homely '5' blonde cozies up next to me. She says excuse me, smiles and begins chatting me up. I'm too polite to excuse myself. I say a few words but let the conversation die. She says she's with a guy but insists on staying at the bar to finish her drink. She finally leaves after a couple of minutes of silence on my part. I leave the bar after ten minutes; nothing good to look at here.

Lesson learned: I'm learning how girls feel when creepy or unattractive guys approach them (substitute 'creepy or unattractive gals' in my case). What I do in such cases is I let a conversation wane and I look off to the side or all around me to signal my disinterest.

Venue #3: A supposedly cool bar in town.

This 'cool bar' place is huge, and as I drive by, I see tons of people milling about inside. I expect to see lots of HB's and I just hope I can get over my approach anxiety. Inside, I walk from front to back, loop back around and check both sides of the bar, and all the tables. Not a single '7' or above in the house. Not one. I leave after 5 minutes. As I drive off, I'm thinking 'crap, I shoulda stayed home and saved on gas.' Then I remember two other bars I can go to.

Lesson learned: this venue is overrated.

Venue #4: Greeks Left and Right.

The first/fourth place, 'The Pier', has lots of very pretty 8's and 9's running around everywhere. These girls are either with a guy, or seated at tables with 6, 7, 8 other girls. I start chatting with a bro at the bar. After a few minutes, we're shooting the shyt and he assures me he is the best wingman. "You just gotta go up to 'em and say: "I'm Rick James, bytch!" he says. He seems like a laid back guy I think, and I guess I do need a wing. I think. The problem with this guy is, he often ****blocks me by talking to my target. I need to get that straightened out asap if we're going to wing again. He will lean in and literally get in the face of the girl I'm trying to talk to. Cool dude otherwise though.

Anyway, after fifteen minutes, I'm just itching to talk to a girl. I see two '8's' to my left. I head over, and ask them if they're having fun with the pole they're grabbing and grinding. The girl who talks back to me says: 'um, no, we're trying to figure out if this one chick is a transvestite or not.' She is leaning in, talking in my ear and rubbing her tits on my chest. She points to the girl's room. 'Don't make eye contact with her when she comes out.' Two girlfriends come over and occupy this two set. My target retreats to the other side of the pole. I'm out of set before my wing can come over (I motioned him over to occupy the non target).

While I'm at the bar, I see another '8', a tall brunette with a very pretty face, thin tall body but flat chest who mosies up next to the bar. 'Say excuse me!' I tell her, as she stands next to me. 'I'm sorry!'. These girls are so damm polite. 'You again?' I say to her the second time she's at the bar. At the end of the night, she's outside, walking back home with the guy she came to the bar with. She's still friendly enough to say: "hey, I know you!" "I'm surprised you're still able to walk." "I know!" she says. I suspect this girl cheats on her boyfriend every chance she gets. She's way too flirtatious.

Venue 2/5: The place is nearly empty. There are two pretty girls in the house. One's a blonde '8' in a butt ugly red sweater dancing with four fatties. The other's a 6.5 blonde in a brown top, maching belt and shoes. Her friend, an overweight, short middle eastern girl with a huge rack (a '4' or '5' overall only) asks me to dance. I motion to my wing and let him take this cluster bomb. He agrees, after some hesitation. Maybe he is a good wing after all! The 6.5 dances with her short friend, giving my wing an excuse to get out of there. The 6.5 points at me or in my direction. I walk over there, and ask her: 'hey what are you saying about me?' I tease her. 'I said, 'there's Santa Claus!'' I look over my shoulder and there's indeed an old guy with a beard and red suit rounding the corner. I pretend not to see him. 'You must be seeing things!' 'I'll show you!' she counters. We walk out of the bar, and look around the corner. 'See, you're delusional!' 'No, I swear, I saw Santa Claus!' 'Yeah, right.' 'See, there he is!' Santa's sitting in a van now. I walk back in with her. She goes back to dancing. Then she walks back to the bar, standing next to me, without saying anything. 'Look, there goes the tooth fairy,' I tell her, pointing outside. 'Hey, don't give me shyt!' We fluff about the shytty music being played. Then she says something which 'tweaks' me into initiating and escalating kino. 'So what are you waiting to order?' 'Sex back at my house' or 'get lucky back at my house (or something to that effect--if anyone is familiar with a similar sounding drink/actual name of the drink, feel free to chime in)', she replies. 'Say what?! You want sex back at your house?' I reply in shock. 'It's a drink; it's called 'sex back at my house.' Ding. The light bulb goes on. 'So are you trying to get lucky?' She doesn't reply. She does wear an embarrassed half grin after I ask however. I start to kino. I hold her hand. She squeezes back. I rub her back. No resistance. I grab her belt, and run my hand under her pants slightly. Then I run my hand underneath the back of her shirt, slightly. No resistance. I give her a hug, she squeezes back. She says she's highlighted her hair. I tug hard on her hair, once twice. No protest. 'Is that a wig?' I ask. 'Of course not!' I'm trying to think of a natural way to progress to a kiss. I continue to kino, but now with some resistance on her part, as I cycle through my past kino, without progressing to a kiss. I ask her what she's doing later. 'Um, probably going home and sleeping. I'm tired.' I offer her a ride home but she says she lives right down the street. I number close her. My consolation prize.

Lesson learned: sorority girls, especially drunk sorority girls, are very flirtatious, and are either slutty or love to tease, or both.

Lesson learned 2: I think the proper time to kiss close the birthday girl is immediately after the hug.

Lesson learned 3: Jump on a sexual innuendo and the broad dropping the innuendo like there's no tomorrow.

Lesson learned 4: small town gossip is a bytch. It has an enormous impact on people's behavior in small Oregon towns. I'll elaborate in a future post.

Conclusion:

As you can see, I'm still rAFC. No LR's since my initial bootcamp (April '05), and only one kiss close. A few dates, tons of phone numbers and about seven opportunities for ONS's since April '05, which I was either too oblivious/clueless to pick up on right away, or too chicken/shocked to close.

On the other hand, I was able to head out solo last evening/this morning without too much anxiety, which is a step in the right direction.

Also, I've compiled a list of 12 or 13 girls I've met here in Oregon who I SUSPECT (I certainly don't KNOW) are attracted to me (I've only dated one, and number or email closed three others). I'm going to ask all of them out at the next opportunity. There are tens of thousands of girls here; I can't worry too much about the results with any one specific girl.

My wing says he's been living in Oregon and finds that he's still considered an outsider since he's not an immediate friend, or friend-of-a- friend of the girls. Social circles are indeed very tight, or so it seems. Then I ask him how long he's lived in town. 'Three and a half years.' I'm like crap, I can't wind up like that. On the one hand, I see how that's possible; on the other hand, that serves as motivation to do some approaches and make an ass of myself until I finally have some success.

 

[warpy]

you are doing pretty good, i dont know if you need to push for a kiss close too much. even a boob rub or a deep hug can be enough.
on the other hand if you want to get a hugclose each time how about saying something like "okay now that we are best of friends how about a hug so you wont miss me when i go home in 5 minutes"

also try to write more often, i am realy enjoying reading your adventures

 

[NorPacWolf]

DAYTIME APPROACH

Thanks for the feedback, warpy. I'll try to post whenever I have anything significant to report from the field.

RECENT DAYTIME APPROACH:

BTW, I nearly forgot about a daytime approach I did on Thursday. I had just gotten back in town, had to wake up early in the morning, and it was cold as all get out. I'm sitting in on a class. There's a girl who, prior to my business trip to Cali, had been staring hard at me inside and outside of this class. I KNEW this girl was interested. Time to capitalize. She's about a 7.5; blonde (natural), about 5' 7", thin but curvy figure with extremely fair, almost translucent skin. She has huge eyelashes-I think they're real. Very pretty girl.

I usually sit right behind her, one or two rows back, to her right in this class. She gets up to hand in an assignment. As she walks back to her seat, she's facing me before she sits down. 1, 2,3, go in, 4, 5....

Male: 'Hey, that's a nice sweatshirt,' I say to her after she has already sat down (she's wearing a Harvard sweatshirt).
Female: 'Thank you, actually my dad got it for me.' She turns around in her seat and faces me and gives me a big smile.
M: 'Yeah, it's cool.'
F: 'My dad travels along the east coast and he stopped there and bought it for me. People ask me: 'do you go there?!' I'm like 'no!'.......Are you from the east coast?' she asks.
M: I take this as an IOI and get nervous. This happens to me a lot in Oregon: I'm so used to skittish girls withdrawing when I give them an SOI that I've internalized their passive, retreatist attitude to some extent. I ignore her question. I change the topic and ask her what she likes to do for fun, when she's not studying.
F: She turns her head for a second and thinks. 'Well, I like to go snowboarding.' At this point, she wipes her nose-I realize later why.
M: I don't know where to go with this comment. 'Sounds dangerous.'
F: 'Yeah, it is.' She wipes her nose again. We talk about where she goes snowboarding. 'Are you from the east coast?' she asks again.
M: Well, I'm actually from Cali. We're invading your state! Ha ha!' I'm sure this will tweak her and get her to tease me back: Oregonians (I guess only older ones) reportedly are very paranoid about their state being overrun by Californians.
F: Oh, that's OK. I'm from Illinois and we have people moving into our state from Kansas, Indiana....'
M: I'm stumped again. She's extremely polite even though I'm teasing her in a ****y/funny way.

At this point, I'm getting tired of flapping my gums. I need clear signs of interest and the signals I'm getting from Oregonian girls are too subtle for me to proceed in a more assertive manner. I'm unsure of myself, as I sometimes offend girls, or get no reaction from girls whenever I go ****y/funny. I've also unwittingly internalized the docile, skittish attitude of Oregonians, which disorients and confuses me even further.

The 7.5's girlfriend walks into class at this point, and the 7.5 greets her and they start jabbering. I'm out of set. I notice now that clear liquid snot is dribbling out of my nose; the girl was rubbing her nose as a polite way of notifying me of this embarrassing fact. These girls are so damm polite. It's so embarrassing for me.

At the end of class, I can't work up the nerve to stop her and get a number or ask her out. I KNOW she's attracted but my wires are crossed, and I can't muster a close even though I am 100% certain she is attracted. Insert Marge Simpson grumble of dissatisfaction or Homer 'Doh!' here).

CONCLUSION:

Lesson learned: I'm glad I sarged her, even though it was early in the morning and I was drowsy and cold as hell.

Lesson learned 2: girls in Oregon aren't nearly as unfriendly as some have reported. Not even close. They are much more subtle, by necessity and/or socialization.

Lesson learned 3: These girls are more subtle because this is a much smaller community and word gets around. They are not stand offish. Just subtle. There's a difference. I'm glad I'm doing approaches or else I would not have learned this.

Lesson learned 4: Buy winter gear. It's getting cold. A runny nose is unattractive. LOL.

 

[NorPacWolf]

NEIGHBORHOOD WATCH

ONE EXTREMELY IMPORTANT LESSON LEARNED OR CONFIRMED:

After I get my consolation prize phone number from the 6.5, I'm ready to leave. The bar's closing up anyway. As I begin to make my way out, the 6.5 blonde is 'hanging out' still. I don't want to say goodbye to this girl three, four times. My wing lingers with the 6.5 and her 4.5 friend, walking and talking with them outside. He won't give up. He offers them a ride home. 'Hey, can I get a ride?' the 4.5 asks me instead. This girl doesn't give up either. 'Yeah, sure, you girls need one?' I say to both girls. The 6.5 is gabbing away on a cell phone. "....he was all over me....don't make a big scene about it when he gets back home though...." At first, I thought the 6.5 was talking about me! She explains to me a minute later that the boyfriend of a friend was hitting on her, and on other girls in the bar. So, the 6.5 gets on the phone IMMEDIATELY to inform the girlfriend, a close personal friend of hers. Everyone is either a sentry or a potential sentry: 'ratting someone out' is apparently a virtue around here, and it's either impossible or very difficult to keep secrets given the tightknit nature of the community. No wonder girls are skittish: they know someone else can (and will) drop the dime, just like that.

No wonder girls are so worried about showing their interest! Small town gossip is enormously effective in restraining behavior, and THIS is the source of nervousness I've been noting for weeks. I've noted a near paranoia in the air and water, and now I have concrete proof of the source: it's gossip, not my assertive approaches. The fear on the girl's part is: 'if I show this guy I'm interested, I'll get a reputation as an 'easy girl', and I don't want that. Word will get around.'

What really confuses me then is, 'why are the sorority girls so damm flirtatious and forward?' My only guess is that when they travel in packs like that, and especially when they travel in packs AND get drunk, they become a little more bold and licentious then they otherwise would. These girls have bracketed off their four to six years of college as a period of debauchery before they begin life in the real world: marriage, mortgage, a beer gut husband, and football widow-dom.

 

[warpy]

did you ever try picking up waitresses, maybe you should have a round and tell us about it. also remember you can use gossip in your favor.

 

[NorPacWolf]

One More Thing

Lesson learned:

Girls in Oregon would prefer to see, and preferably speak to you three times (the three meeting rule?) before they become comfortable flirting with you. As a result, first conversations between strangers will be appallingly short, and potentially discouraging without knowledge of the three meeting rule. For example, I spoke to the '8' flat chested brunette twice at the bar Friday, and the third time we spoke, it was because she felt comfortable greeting me. The '8' brunette who works at the leasing office also greeted me and flirted with me the third time we spoke. Patience and persistence.

Peace,

NorPacWolf

 

[roy01]

What is the general consensus on graduate students approaching and dating undergrads? I'm in a similar situation as you, going to grad school in a small town and the vast majority of chicks I see in town, let alone campus, are undergrads. My friends tend to discourage it but I find many of them hot and don't recall any school policy against it.. plus, I'm not teaching any classes with undergrads or anything like that.

 

[NorPacWolf]

Check your institution's policy on this. There should be a handbook available both online as well as readily available in the administration's office. In general, you should definitely avoid this practice with anyone you have a supervisorial relationship with. Otherwise, check the policies of your institution. Never, ever advertise what your intentions are about this. Definitely keep it on the down low. Also, try neighboring colleges or just sarging in general. Good luck.

NorPacWolf