Small Town Sarging

[NorPacWolf]

NLP at Work and at PLAY

Very little new to report. The girls here are very shy. I can see them getting 'into' the conversation, but immediately shutting themselves down. At least that's what I think I see. I've been trying to sarge at a coffeeshop near campus. The girl I tried to sarge today (a '7' from the side, a '6' from dead ahead, gives me big toothy, embarrassed smiles and her eyes betray her sexual energy as I converse with her, but as soon as I stop talking to her, she immediately looks down and continues reading. This is a definite pattern, and I'm not yet sure how I'm going to overcome it. It's very strange, but it's like there's a devil and angel on each girl's shoulder whispering in her ear as I speak to her. The little devil whispers: 'go with it, give him what he wants, because it's what you want too,' with a dastardly grin. The angel whispers 'don't do it; you'll regret sleeping with this player because he's going to spread word all around our tiny little town about his exploits and you will wind up looking like a fool. You don't want all these people around you thinking you're a slut, do you?'

***

Work Sarge #1

I'm so addicted to sarging, I'm sarging my co-workers, not in terms of trying to get a date, but in terms of controlling and framing a situation. With one AMOG colleague, I basically wound up with a stalemate. Instead of going to lunch with me as we had agreed, he brought his wife along also. AMOG's love to try to AMOG in front of women. Bringing a partner along does three things:

a. it gives them social proof ('hey, I brought a chick, where's yours?')
b. it gives them an audience and validation for their bullshyt
c. it serves to loosen restraints on their behavior. That is, when they AMOG with their girl, they know the other guy can't easily stand up to them since the other guy risks offending the girl by getting angry.

This clown even drank a beer, mid day. This co worker is easily the most negative jerk I've encountered in my stay. He insulted me, he insulted his job, he insulted his co workers, he insulted our town, you name it. Nothing was good enough for him. I never got mad. However, near the end of our lunch, I caught wind of his tactics. I insisted on a positive frame. I told him he should be proud of his profession. I told him he should think in a positive way. He ends the lunch abruptly, saying he has to get back to work. Very alpha, but crude and cavemannish.

him: 'who are you, Tony Robbins?' He's still insulting me, but his body language is growing more beta. That is, he doesn't face me directly, but looks at me apprehensively over his shoulder. I am confronting him, challenging his frame, even subverting it, but not losing my cool. He is starting to get nervous.

me: 'well, hey, do whatever works for you. If you don't like what I have to say, then do whatever you like.'

him: 'no, don't back off now.'

I pat him on the back and laugh. I now insult him in front of his wife, using ****y and funny. They are making plans to see each other later in the afternoon.

me: 'hey! Don't listen to this guy (pointing to her husband)!' She glances apprehensively at him, to gauge his reaction, as she walks off. He has no reaction and says nothing, since his goal is to create anxiety, and a positive attitude does not give him the affirmation and result he desires.

***

Work Sarge #2

I see another co worker for lunch. We actually knew, or at least I thought we knew each other, some time ago. She can't quite place me. I tell her the details of how much my appearance has changed.

her: 'you've completely reinvented yourself then.'

She doesn't realize quite how much, but she is about to.

She begins to tell me about how frustrating her job is: she is starting to realize her adopted hometown is not quite as tolerant as she was led, or led herself, to believe. I am not surprised. When I first met her, I received rave reviews from everyone about how nice she was. However, I was not impressed by her intellect. Now many years later, the same pattern resurfaces: she trusts everyone and takes everything at face value, and then she realizes all too late that she's been hoodwinked.

I start break things down for her:

me: 'have you heard of NLP?'
her: 'yup.'
me: 'well, it's something I'm interested in studying.'
her: 'really? well, there's a big metaphysical community here, you should check it out.'
me: 'I'm actually studying the dark side of NLP. It can be used to induce very specific emotional and cognitive states without the other person realizing it.' Then I start to demonstrate the power of NLP to her, without my realizing that I'm actually using it on her.

She goes on to tell me how frustrated she is with work, how duplicitous people seem, and implies very subtly she is thinking about leaving for another job as a result.'

I begin to tell her about two colleagues I have met. I describe one as an AMOG whose tactics I neutralized. I describe the other in similar terms but explain that the second co worker was mentally weaker than the first. She completely agrees with my assessment of the two (she knows them also, but has known them for many years, not a couple of weeks).

her: '...that's a very astute analysis of these two people (she says very deliberately, clearly impressed and wanting me to know it). How long did it take you to come up with those personality assessments?'

me: 'it took me about an hour to figure out their personalities. But I had an inkling of what they were all about after about three to five minutes.'

her: 'where have you been all these years?' She says laughing.

me: 'look around you. You see, everything around you is an illusion. Nothing you see is real. The guy I talked to at lunch, he's just a magician, a hack magician. I'll show you how to become just like him. Buy a magnet at a magic shop. Then wave it over a watch while someone watches. But tell them that you can control magnetic fields with your mind. Then breathe in deeply, wave your hand over the watch and the watch will stop....Then fifteen seconds later....'

her: 'ha ha ha!' She already gets the trick.

me: 'fifteen seconds later...breathe out deeply, wave your hand over the watch a second time, and it will start up again. It's all about your frame of mind.'

her: 'wow. I think I'm so vulnerable to that. After all, I married a 'magician.' Ha ha ha!' She punches me in my arm, and holds my arm for a second, while she laughs out loud. (Question: my wings tell me a girl hitting me is a definite IOI, but again, in this neck of the woods, I can't tell. Does anyone think she is flirting here?)

She continues asking me for advice on how to control her unruly colleagues, saying that she's actually younger than her unruly colleagues even though she's senior to them in rank. I tell her I'll get back to her on it.

---

Conclusion:

We can see this two ways: either game is good, because it can help you to understand and connect with colleagues and to defend yourself against AMOG's at work, or perhaps game is not so good, since I'm spending so much damn time trying to figure out game. I'm about halfway through Neil Strauss's book but am surprised at how illuminating and helpful NLP is. It's also surprising how much I use it, how much others use it, and how effective it can be when you study and understand it. In retrospect, I countered the AMOG by also acting as an AMOG, similar to Tom Cruise's AMOG tactics with Neil Strauss in The Game, albeit in a much less polished manner.

I just wish my cold approaches were going better. Damn!

 

[NorPacWolf]

More Unsuccessful Sarging! Yikes!

***

Addendum:

Just tried sarging again at the grocery store. There's a cute '8' in the checkout aisle immediately ahead of me. She's in her mid to late twenties, brunette, wearing a baseball hat, looking demure but hot at the same time. She's staring intently at the tabloids. The conveyor belt is now empty and she has about six items in her hands as she stares at the celeb rags.

Me: 'You can put your stuff on the conveyor belt if you like.' Here I go again, a knee jerk C & F opener.

Her: Completely befuddled and very slow to respond. "Uuuh, well, the items weren't that heavy."

Me: "You look like you were hypnotized. Aren't you going to thank me for breaking you out of your spell?"

Her: Thinks again, waits several seconds before answering, unsure of how to respond: "I wasn't in a spell."

Me: "You looked like it. You looked hypnotized. That'll be five dollars, please."

At this point, my sarge gets interrupted: "Sir, you with the one item, I can help you over here."

Me: "Take care."

Her: Again, thinks for a second: "Take care."

At this point, I thought the girl would demonstrate some sign of relief because the sarge had been interrupted. Instead, she just seems befuddled, as if she wanted me to continue but didn't have the resources for how to continue in the conversation. The people here are just very, very literal. They are either not very sharp on their feet, or there must be a very strong taboo against speaking to strangers. It must be the latter. The other day, I overhear a guy talking to a girl. The guy casually mentions it's his birthday. The girl gushes and promises to bake him something when he comes over later that day. "Yeah," he says half laughing and slightly skeptical. "No, really, I promise!" she tells him as he walks away.

The rule (for chicks) seems to be:
1. Don't speak to strangers. Strangers are not to be trusted. The better looking they are, the more charming they are, the more you have to fear.

1a/Rule 2: Do EVERYTHING for your close friend/boyfriend. Give him everything. Tolerate everything (until you find a new/better one; the new or better one must come from your immediate circle of long term, established friends).

I'm either going to have to put in an enormous amount of face time to gain social proof, or continue getting shut out with my cold approaches, or figure out option 'C' real fast.

 

[NorPacWolf]

Life In Dorksville, Part Infinity

This small town is really getting to me. What's happened is that as I have tried to adopt a more 'alpha' attitude, body language, tone of voice and so on perfectly appropriate for a big city, I'm finding this approach to be intimidating and unnerving to 'local' boys and gals alike.

I said 'hey' just to greet my neighbor the other night. This guy stopped in his tracks. Froze up as if I were a cop summoning him over, then walked back towards me like a little girl waiting to get a spanking from her father. His eyes were wide open with apprehension, his mouth was open, and his arms hung limply at his side as he 'complied.' I was just saying 'hi' ; he thought I was giving him an order.

As a result, I am reworking everything: I'm having to speak in a higher pitched less alpha, more Ned Flanders-ish kind of way, and I'm trying to smile excessively when I run ****y/funny in order to disarm my targets. I can't do this for long. I just wind up feeling like a, well, dork. But that's how the other guys act and my regular approach is unnerving the local residents.

Like I said, I am going to have to find an option 'c' which might entail a stealthier version of stealth indirect game. I'm not sure how I'm going to run that as I thought I ran very stealth indirect game in the big city. This is getting damn strange. Seriously, WC, if you still sarge, I'd like to hear more about how you do it. It seems like you are doing a good job of getting dates so I'm willing to hear more on your approaches. How about a FR?

NorPacWolf

 

[NorPacWolf]

STILL OUT IN THE STICKS

There are a couple of incidents which have disturbed me up here. The first incident was when I was at a bus stop a couple of weeks ago. It was about 6 PM in the evening, and the sun was still out. I was standing at the bus stop alone. A young woman, perhaps 19 or so, appears from around the corner of the intersection, about thirty feet away. I glance at her over my shoulder. She sees me, but instead of walking to the bus stop where I am standing, she veers off the street into the large, uncovered parking lot of the apartment complex immediately behind the street and bus stop. She won't look my way, but stares at the screen of her cellphone. Two other people, young males, walk to the bus stop. She approaches the bus stop, but remains in the safety of the parking lot, just at the edge of the bus stop. She does not walk back onto the street until the bus arrives. When she gets off the bus, she looks over her shoulder with a frightened look at me when I get off the bus. This completely weirds me out. Perhaps this is a racial issue? I'm Asian, so maybe this is a factor. The odd thing is, she appears to be Asian or Amerasian herself. I didn't even consider racism or racial mistrust to be an issue until I spoke to a coworker today about this particular incident and several others. Anyway, this type of behavior is very disturbing to me.

A friend of mine recommended I buy a sweatshirt to fit in the with the locals. I actually tried one on. A co worker recommended I try on a baseball hat also. Man, am I getting desperate or what. I think I'll just lay back and let people come to me. I'm not going to sweat it anymore. I don't want to come across as a try-hard. I'm also just going to be myself. I'm going to stop imitating the bizarre rituals of politeness the locals insist upon. I've actually been to a couple of restaurants where the staff are actually not very warm, and this ironically, is putting me more at ease. I think I'll frequent those places lol.

Peace,

NorPacWolf

 

[WestCoaster]

Some words of encouragement: I lived in the town in which you now reside, and it freaking blows, big time. It sucks. In the Northwest when someone says, "Let's get together sometime" means you'll never get together.

I live in another NW city and have been here a little over two years. I'm a pretty friendly, outgoing guy, know a lot of people on my campus and have not been invited out to dinner or out for beers in two plus years here. I've been on dates, but nothing where I'm hanging out with people having a good time.

Women in the NW are very leery of everything. Very feministic in the bad way as in man hating. Spontanaity doesn't work well in the NW at all, flirting will get you sacked.

I remember when I was in college (in Oregon) and I was hot for this girl working at the library. She was a student working there and I was going to visit her (in my AFC days), WTF, she was cute and nice, mentioned a boyfriend and I didn't care, I still pursued her. She tells a mutual friend: "Tim (me) likes me, he's always flirting, etc." So, who gives a sh-t?

Wolves ... Trust me, it's not you. Some of my friends are real ladies men and get shot down in the Northwest. If this sh-t continues for me anymore this year, I'm moving to California.

* NorPac ... my message box is finally cleared, you can e-mail me.

 

[NorPacWolf]

Mini Boot Camp, Pt. 1

I just attended a 'mini-bootcamp' over the weekend. Given the price of the seminar ($20) you can be damned sure it was well worth it! I was under the impression that there would be a select few attendees but it turned out that about three dozen guys showed up for the seminar plus fieldwork. The seminar portion (four hours of theory interspersed with questions) was absolutely terrific. The dynamics and tactics of pickup from approach to close were covered. The instructors took a non-dogmatic approach and recognized that there are many paths to enlightenment, while trying to model their own, highly memorable model of pickup which incorporates both canned material as well as material which is highly personal as well as ad libbed. I like their approach, which is admittedly still under construction (any decent theory is always 'under construction.'). The seminar attendees were treated to free cake, and get this, the $20 seminar fee included the cover to the VIP floor of one of the nicest clubs in town PLUS a free drink! Awesome.

Onto the fieldwork. Since there were three dozen guys present, it was important to either pick a very large venue or split the guys up into multiple venues. The organizers chose the former approach. There was a slight glitch at the night venue however (an issue not at all under the control of the bootcamp organizers mind you). First of all, although it was a Saturday night, not many club attendees were present. This made for a difficult situation as far as approaching was concerned: too many guys, too few targets. As the night progressed, it was apaprent that the same girls were being fed the same openers time and again, and were reacting either with bemusement and/or frustration. A second problem: a clear majority of the girls in attendance were noticeably overweight (again, nothing that the seminar organizers could control). When I checked out the dance floor near midnight, at least two thirds of the girls in tow were clearly overweight, and this pattern was evident everywhere in the club, not just on the dance floor. Nonetheless, I managed a few approaches.

***

Red Room Approaches

One of the organizers (I'll refer to him as T in this FR) for the event called us all to attention: "heeey! I need a couple of volunteers!" One African American gentleman (early to mid thirties, tall, balding, wearing a blue polo shirt and tan slacks) volunteers immediately, although noone knows what the task is just yet. I look around, and since noone else has volunteered, I raise my hand also. Hey, I flew out from Oregon to Dallas, TX so I might as well. T asks us casually as we head downstairs: "so have you done any approaches?" I can't quite make out the other guy's answer. I say "yes," which is true. "I'd like you guys to open sets, but not on the VIP floor or the floor below. Let's go downstairs." T sees the situation clearly: a train of guys already has, or will hit on the few targets within eye shot of the VIP floor and quickly burn the targets out. T stops two floors down and looks around. It's nearly empty. We go one, then two floors down. Still empty. Finally, we get down to the very bottom level. In this room, there are a pair of go go dancers in a room with strobe lights, liquid smoke and a completely red decor. Still pretty dead, but there are some cute girls here at least. Very interesting decor. T walks off ten feet and motions the African American gentleman over. T speaks and his student listens and nods. They look serious, regardless of what's being discussed. It looks like Knute Rockne taking a star quarterback aside for one on one coaching. The student nods intently and goes off, walking with purpose and focus.

***

Approach 1

Now it's my turn. T asks me: "so what kind of girl do you go for?" Damn good question. I haven't asked myself that question in years. I usually go with visuals or take what's offered to me. It's a bummer to me that I can't offer a coherent answer. I mumble an answer about liking pretty girls and especially petite girls. He sees a two set: a petite Latina 6.5 and her tall, heavy set Latina girlfriend who is heavily made up. Before I go, I ask for an opener. T gives me the russian bride opener. I am stumped for an opener, but it's also a stall tactic on my part. I go and open the two set. I address my target first (a definite no no according to Mystery).

me: "excuse me, I'd like to get your girl's opinion on something."

The target looks at me with skepticism and/or disinterest.

me: "my friend over just got married to a girl because her family paid him $80,000. Can you believe that?"

My target looks at me with a blank, slightly hostile stare. Her head is lowered slightly in confrontational fashion, and her eyes glower up slightly.

me: "would you marry a guy for $80,000?"

her: "no I wouldn't."

me: "why not?"

her: "because if I don't love him, it's not worth it."

Now she turns her head away, signaling the conversation is at an end. I ask the big girl what she thinks. She gives me a big smile. She's at least 5' 9" with heels. She's maybe a '4' and has a strong, masculine torso. I dont' remember her answer, as I'm not listening. I'm bummed because my target's losing interest and her friend is scary looking. I eject, telling them it was nice meeting them and that I'll see them later. So I eject rather than trying to keep this half dead set going. I head back to T.

***

Approach 2

T: "I want you to open those two hot girls over there." There is slight apprehension in his voice. I imagine T is thinking: "man, those two girls look like a tough set, this set could be too much for him." Maybe I'm being paranoid lol. I go in.

me: hey, how you two girls doin'?" The tall, late twenties, thin blonde looks at me, then smirks and looks away almost immediately. Her friend looks at me and says 'hi' if not with a smile, then not with a sneer. The friend is tall, 5' 9" in heels, with a strikingly pretty, almost goth like face and hair. Her hair is straight and black, her skin ivory white and she has a lip piercing. She looks like a girl next door/goth hybrid. I'll give her an '8' from the chest up. From the waist on down, I can only give her a '6' as she is pretty wide through the hips. They are standing with a Latino guy, about 5' 4", very heavy set who seems oblivious to everything: to me and to the two girls he's with.

I can't remember the opener, or where to go with it. I decide to experiment with Style's material.

me: "hey, is that a wig?"

brunette: "no, it's not. It's real. Feel it."

me: "are you sure?" I bunch up her hair in my hand and yank pretty hard (she has offered her hair to me by bunching it in her hand and tilting her head towards me. "Wow, it is real." I try to sound surprised. "hey, I just saw another girl wearing the exact same outfit as you."

her: "really? I bet I looked better in it."

me: "not really. ha ha! Just kidding." I think I'm in. I hold her hand and stroke it. I put my arm around her waist and hold her, stroking her back. I stroke her arm and shoulder.

me: "hey check out those go go dancers. Which one do you think is more beautiful."

her: "I like her better (pointing to the dancer nearest us)."

me: I remember the 'lesbians test' from the seminar earlier. "Would you have sex with her?" I chuckle slightly, thinking this chick will recoil.

her: "yeah, I would." She says in a slightly confessional, matter of fact tone.

me: woah. I get it. She's downstairs here to ogle go go chicks just like the guys. She's bi. Damm.

This is where things get slightly strange: at least three members of the bootcamp roll by, one by one, and give me a stealth thumbs up, or simply nod their approval as they walk by. I get bored just kino-ing her. I fluff a bit. At this point, I should have escalated by isolating my target. It's not that I forgot, but my inner confidence wasn't high enough for me to attempt the isolation. The blonde and the Latin man chat and decide to walk off, carting the brunette with them. At this point, I should have stopped the brunette, physically holding her there. I learned these tactics from Shark, but am too chicken shyt to actually try this. I lose her as she walks away. I don't even say goodbye. Weak on my part.

***

Conclusion:

Mstery and Style's strategies do work. Notice that in both sets, the girl I DON'T address during the opener becomes interested. Also, negging and going caveman work.

To be continued...

 

[NorPacWolf]

CAPTAIN CAVEMAN/CAPTAIN AMERICA

I try another approach at the club. I get an AI from a blonde '6'. She's about 35, with decent looks. I feel like I have to open in order to practice. I say 'hi' to the '6' and her friend. The friend turns her face towards me. Yikes. She looks like Mr. Ed. I need to get out of there fast. The '6' asks me if I'm with the 'bachelor party', a euphemism for our bootcamp. They are getting suspicious since I'm apparently the umpteent guy who's approached, and probably because there are three other guys watching my set. She mentions that she's been approached quite a bit by guys who want opinions. She and her friend laugh, and roll their eyes. I take this to mean that these previous fellows, whoever they may have been, did not leave a positive impression. I ask her how they could have done better.

'6': Well, they should've done what you did."

Me: "And what's that?"

'6': Well, the way you came over here was smooth. It was subtle and blah blah blah.'

I can't remember what I said at this point, I was just freaking out at the chick with the horseface, and wanted to eject. I'm kino-ing the 6 by caressing her back and holding her waist.

me: "well it was nice talking to you two girls. I'll see you later."

***

I'm sharing a room at the hotel with a couple fo cool guys at the bootcamp. We become fast friends (I think). I joked with these two dudes earlier telling that I'm going to use a new handle: "Captain Caveman," an homage to the Gunwitch method, which emphasizes going kino right away and then escalating as much as possible that very night. Eventually, these two dudes refer to me as "Captain America," their own in joke about me. I'll refer to these guys as H and S. I tell H and S that the club is getting me down due to the high percentage of rotund girls, and want to try out different venues. After asking around, I find out there are two bars right across the street from each other about a half mile away. I tell H and S that we should jet. Eventually, the three of us make our way to the two bars.

Venue 1:

This place has a small bar and a very large, hopping, outdoor deck, with a pool and a view of the street below. Nice. H and S tell me that they are impressed with my courage in opening sets. I am slightly befuddled thinking I'm not having much success. I guess it's a matter of opinion. I tell them that I might as well open, since I've flown out from Oregon. I also tell them experience will be their best teacher. They agree, but somehow still seem reluctant to adopt this advice and roll by opening sets, as am I to a lesser extent. Cold approaching is indeed tough. I open right away with the two others present. I ask a group of four: two Asian girls and two Asian guys and ask for their opinion. I lose the entire group within a minute. My wings tell me that I have the courage, but I need to be a bit more subtle and smooth, that I come across too aggressively. Good point. I open again, by addressing a group of three Asian girls. One of them says that they are having a "girl talk." These guys seem impressed, despite my getting blown out of two consecutive sets.

S: "Man, you have courage. You know, some guys are just keyboard jockeys. You can tell they're full of shyt."

I ask H and S if they post on boards. They say they mainly read. But S is now encouraged to post. His first post? He's going to tell the guys who hate to "STFU!"

***

Venue 2

We check out the bar across the street. This one's terrific too. There's a bouncer at the front door. He's about 6' 3", 250 lbs plus, ripped and African American, dressed in black from head to toe, with a headset. Very intimidating. He tells the three of us it'll be a 10-15 minute wait. I ask the others waiting how long they've been waiting. "At least ten minutes," one guy says.

me: "you think he's (the doorman) is being honest?

other guy: "you tell him that. He'll pound the shyt out of us." I just laugh.

After 10-15 minutes, we admits us in. Tons of pretty girls, many in the 8/8.5 range. I lose my wings within a minute. Whenever I 'get lost' and they find me again, they ask me: 'where you been?' and laugh. Actually, I 'get lost' and lose my wings at every venue, they discover. They label me "Captain America": I must be on an important mission since I constantly disappear. I get the joke now. "Hey, where'd Clark/Wonder Woman's alter ego go?" My wings tell me they're just befuddled as to why they can't hang onto me.

***

I try the subtle approach as per my wing's suggestion. "How you doing?" I say meekly to a blonde '8' behind me. She nods/smirks and looks away. Nope, that doesn't work.

***

I keep walking around. I finally get another AI (approach invitation) from a tall brunette 6. She looks bored as hell talking with some guy who looks like a high school dork. She looks sad as she stares intently waiting for Captain America to rescue her. I walks past them, then decide to open the set. I try Mystery's approach of trying to talk to the non target first. I befriend the guy. The girl waits for 30 seconds, then jets. Woops.I get the story from the guy. The girl's her co worker. I see, she's only there because she has nothing else to do. I should've just opened her, especially since she's only a 6.

***

I get another approach invitation, this time from another '6'. She's a short Latina or Indian girl. She's wide in the hips. I'd give her a '7' for her face, and a '5' for her body. She's with two African American guys, and another girl. She gives me the same pleading stare the other '6' gave me. She gives me a second AI the second time I walk by her. I finally open her. This time, the two guys have scooted off. I talk to her and kino her right away. I hold her hand as I talk to her. She stares into my eyes. I rub her arm and shoulders.

One of the guys who'd been talking to her earlier tries to ****block, mentioning how much I'm touching her, while smiling. He says something about having rough hands or something. He's trying to distract me. I continue with the kino. "Hey, do you think my hands are soft or rough?"

'6': they're soft.

I'm ambivalent. The girl has a pretty face, but her hips are a bit too wide. The kino's working but I'm not thrilled by her looks. I decide to number close instead.

***

Conclusion:

I only get AI's from two sixes. Otherwise, it's bytch shield heaven. And I am now sympathetic with the girls to some extent. These girls are being approached over and over again. No wonder they have their shield up. Also, these guys are dumb and drunk. Whenever they give you a shyt test, it's like a way of asking: "are you sober, you dumb fyck? Are you clear headed enough to pass my test?"
Girls are not bytchy per se, but they want a good looking intelligent guy. And, they don't want to look like a slut. In a roomful of drunks, they are going to challenge the guys to prove themselves and I can't blame them. That's why you have to learn some game. It's on. I want to learn. Peace.

Capt. Cavemen/Capt. America

To be Continued....

 

[NorPacWolf]

It's closing time at the bar. I see a tall, smiling Asian guy, another bootcamp attendee. "Hey man, why aren't you opening sets?" That's a funny thing to say. I told him to open a set while we were at the club, and he refused, saying he needed another drink first. I bet he hasn't opened a set all night. Whatever. KJS. 'Keyboard Jockey Syndrome' should be added to the list of terms in The Game's glossary...

***

Capt America and his two wings aren't done even though it's 2 AM. H and S tell me there's an after hours club open till 4. What the hell? I flew all the way out here from...OK, you get it. The scene outside is not promising. There are two cops directing traffic, and several cop cars (one unmarked in the lot) are parked around the club. In the line, some stoned Asian guy tells H and S that he's going to do some lines later. It's looking pretty ghetto. Inside the club, I'm just overwhelmed by the noise. My ears are ringing. I'm enjoying the lights and music and dancing, but it's terrible (for me) for sarging. I can't hear anyone, they can't hear me. I try opening a Asian '8'. I try befriending the two guys she's apparently with first. They smile and say "I don't know" to all my questions. So I talk to the girl.

me: "hey, what do you call that dance move?" I neg her.

her: laughs. "Are you making fun of me?"

me: "Noooo. I think it's cute. Hey, you didn't answer my question."

her: "what?"

me: "what's that dance move called?"

her: she laughs and shakes her head. This set goes nowhere also.

I hang out with my wings for a few more minutes. Finally, the night's over. It's nearly 4 AM. I'm walking slowly to the car. I've put my fingers in my ears, and I'm walking with my head down.

S asks me: "hey, are you all right?"

me: "Yeah," I say, but my ears are ringing like hell.

My friends give me some feedback. I have great courage, they say. But, I sometimes come on too strong. Honestly, I don't think I'm aggressive enough. I'm not Capt. Cavemanning enough. I basically figure I just need to get out there and continue gaining experience. I can't say I was thrilled with my performance, but I did get to experiment a bit, learned some new information and some information I had learned previously was reinforced. Great seminar, with OK results on my part.

 

[NorPacWolf]

westcoast, pm me your email, man. Your PM box is always full!

Later,

Capt. Caveman/Capt. America

 

[x-factor]

Captain America saves the day

hahah, it was amazing watching you opening set after set......you got some balls of steel, man.... Good to meet you and like I said, we can help each other reach next level, not just PU but, as human being....as Natural.....I'll look forward to read more FR from you and you'll probably see my FR pretty soon. Give me some feedbacks...

Captain Caveman is on the loose, HB should watch out, otherwise, he will caveman her and she wouldn't know what hit her......hahahah

Sarge on, Brother!!

 

[highspd]

Captain America Cavemanning

Hey Captain, that was a fun event. You were like an approach machine that night. I remember when we were driving to the venues and you said "I am a bit nervous". But you took care of that problem once we being to sarge. I agree, the first venue had too many 5 and 6's but they were fun to practice on.

I remember I was talking to one blond-6 on the first floor near the bathroom and I used an opinion opener on her. Her initial response was "You know I been asked with like 5 opinions already in like 20mins." I couldn't help but laugh, there were too many of us there, it was going to happen sooner or later.

I think your approaches are great but just remember to have fun with it, don't become an approach machine like APB said. You'll burn out fast cause it might become like a job to you.

I am looking forward to sarge with you again in November. More to come.

 

[NorPacWolf]

just the start.

It was cool winging you guys. The best is yet to come....

 

[NorPacWolf]

ESP?

I'm sure you guys are going to think I'm off my rocker, but here's my take anyway.

***

There was a disturbing incident that occurred about a week ago. It was 6 in the evening, and I was taking the bus home. There was an awfully cute young blonde gal getting on the bus also, along with about a dozen other people at the bus terminal. She's about 5' 8" or 5' 9", 20 years old or so. At least an '8' in my opinion. She sits near the front of the bus on the bench that faces sideways on the right hand side (you know how buses are configured). I decide to sit on the opposite left hand side, about a seat further back rather than immediately opposite her, so I can check her out just a bit. I check her out furtively once, then twice.

She has a strange reaction to me after she 'catches' me checking her out during my second glance at her. She looks at me in the same way I look at her: furtively, out of the corner of her eye. The thing is, she has a slight look of apprehension in her eye. As far as I'm concerned, guys check girls out and so I assume girls are used to this. I guess not in this case. She immediately begins chatting up some guy seated about four rows back. He is a light skinned African American guy, about her age.

her: "do I know you?" She smiles widely, in a coy but enthusiastic manner.

him: "huh (totally befuddled and slightly defensive)? Uh, is that a line or something?"

her: "Your Sean's friend, right?"

him: "yeah, I know Sean." (still taken slightly aback and guarded in his demeanor).

her: "That's where I recognize you from! I knew you looked familiar (big smile). Come sit over here." She pats the seat cushion immediately to her left, still looking at him with a big smile. He doesn't respond verbally or get up to sit next to her. She fluffs a bit more; they talk about the upcoming football game:

him: "Are you going to the game?"

her: "Oh yeah." Big smile.

Then after a minute or so, she gets up, and heads back and sits next to him. They chat and fluff...

***

CONCLUSION:

This is the third time in the last four weeks that a chick (at least an '8' each time, but girls of a lower HB ranking seem to react in a simlar way to me) has seen me looking at her, and apparently 'freaked out.' That is:

a. I look at her (in a completely innocuous way from my point of view)

b. she sees me looking at her,

c. she appears apprehensive after our eyes meet

d. she either moves away, or stays put, but immediately begins speaking to a male who is apparently familiar to her, to 'reassure' herself.

In each case, the girl meets eyes with me, but her eyes betray a definite nervousness or apprehension, an emotional state that borders on fear.

In each case, I really don't say much of anything to her.

In each case, my body language is, or at least should be, non threatening. That is, I remain stationary, and I usually look at the target over my shoulder, rather than face to face, and definitely do not move towards them.

Conclusion: is this a case of ESP? That is, am I transmitting my sexual energy in a subliminal manner, despite my silence? I am starting to believe that each of us conveys or radiates an 'energy' that is discernible to others. I think what's happening is that I'm sending a signal that is 'mixed' or includes 'noise.' That is, the signal includes not only sexual warmth, but a strong dose of aggression, and the skittish residents here pick up on the aggression, rather than the sexuality and warmth. Within a social circle, I think she would have picked up on the sexual warmth, but outside of her social circle, she picks up on the aggression. Feedback welcome.

 

[warpy]

you are over analyzing, she probably was scared or uncomfortable with you staring at her and wanted that guy to act as a shield of sorts.

 

[Snatchmaster]

You might have something with the girls picking up on your intent. But your aggressiveness might be coming across as kind of pervy.

Do you smile when you look at them, or when they catch you looking?

You might need to bring yourself into a state of relaxation when you spot a desirable girl. Although you remain stationary, how tense are your muscles? Are you shoulders tense, or loose?

Experiment with loosening up you face and body. Shoulders loose, jaw unclenched, an easy, full smile that includes the eyes. People tend to mirror, see if you can get some smiles back.

Use the smile as your opener:

- you look like someone I know...

- this reminds me of the time...

- Hi, I'm a friendly guy...

You get the idea.


Must say I have enjoyed reading your tale of the NW. I spent some time in Oregon and, yes the people are both literal and very slow (all the pot smoking and grey weather).

 

[NorPacWolf]

How Will the Wolf Survive?

Another day, another pointless sarge. Today, I tried chatting up a blonde cutie checkout girl I've seen at this particular grocery store a couple of times before. Here goes nothing...

***

her: "I'll help you right over here." This girl gives me a big beaming smile. I know better than to take this as an AI by now, however. Nonetheless, I hope beyond hope. (Somebody slap me for this sentimental crap already).

me: "Oh, ok," I say, slightly surprised, but happy she's calling me over: she's damn cute.

her: "...That way, you don't have to wait," (note: she's framing this interaction as a strictly professional courtesy, rather than as a personal favor: she's already onto me; amazing) she says as I swing around the current aisle to get to her checkout aisle. "How are you doing?"

me: "...Better than you...what happened to your hands?" She has two huge soft casts on both wrists.

her: "carpal tunnel," she says looking down, smiling ever so slightly in embarrassment and/or sadness.

me: "you ever tried physical therapy?"

her: "yeah, I tried that and....(can't remember what she said)."

me: I'm thinking about saying "you're too young to have carpal tunnel." I decide against it, not wanting to talk about age. "They say hypnosis works...."

her: laughs slightly, but doesn't respond, effectively ending the conversation.

me: "I'm serious!" I try to revive the conversation even though I know it's dead in the water.

We exchange goodbyes. I can't even look her in the eye, self conscious since I'm embarrassed at how badly my sarges are going, at least in the Pacific Northwest.

***

Conclusion:

I just don't know how to 'get it goin.'' I can't heat a situation up. If I go along with the 'let's be polite routine,' I obviously don't stand a chance of getting anywhere. If I try to move beyond obligatory pleasantries into something interesting or personal, I get frozen out. If I do nothing, obviously I can't succeed. If I try to get past the initial politeness, I'm met with complete silence: literally with a verbal 'backturn.'

I haven't tried nightgame. I could have gone out last night as at least it was not raining. However, I don't feel like I'm in a positive mental state if I sarge solo at night. I've tried it once before, and it felt awkward. I felt like a 'loser' for flying solo. I don't think anyone else cares one way or the other. Whenever I open sets at night, I'm usually doing it on my own anyway, with my wings far away. The difference is strictly in my mind. Whenever I open a set solo, girls rarely, if ever, ask if I'm with friends.

...They say every sarge is a successful one: either you learn or you close, but the problem here is I don't like the conclusions I'm reaching based on the information I've gathered. Essentially what I'm learning is that successful guys around here don't do anything special: instead, they simply grow up here and get to know a girl from an early age, or they meet at a party, get drunk, then hook up. Or, they meet through mutual friends, and hook up at some point in the future. They talk about mundane things: local sports teams, a class they're taking blah blah blah. That's it. I'm locked out of those social circles since I've only been here a few weeks, and obviously don't have the patience to wait years or decades for the requisite comfort level to kick in!

Also, I continue to be met with looks of suspicion. I tried 'opening' another cute blonde chick at another grocery store last Thursday. Some guy (boyfriend? ****block Jealous suitor?) walks into the store, immediately walks up to the counter, taps the girl on the back as I talk to her, then gives me a brief but dirty look as she continues to talk to me.

Another example: I'm in the computer lab. I check the printer, but my job isn't there. I'm slightly (very slightly for clarification) peeved, and turn around looking for the lab tech. A chick is directly behind me and gives me an unconscious sneer and pulls her head back before giving me that now infamous Oregonion beaming smile.

I'm really getting tired of this...it's very draining. I feel like a Black man in Brentwood. I have real sympathy for and insight into how Blacks are treated in all white neighborhoods. I feel like I'm walking on eggshells all the time. I don't smile anymore at people first of all because I'm tired of constantly generating false or canned warmth and enthusiasm on my end all the time, and also because I'm tired of all the reflex, meaningless smiles I receive in return. All of the normal body language cues are useless, I'm constantly treated as an object of suspicion, and the confusion this is all generating is just emotionally draining.

Having said all that, I really like my newly adopted hometown a lot. It's very, very scenic, I often have a tremendous sense of peace as I go about my daily activities and I know people will be courteous and will bend over backwards to accommodate my bureaucratic and professional requests as long as I'm reasonable (or even when I'm not so reasonable). If I didn't have to sarge, everything would be wonderful here (more or less). I can't give up though, since I'll be left with absolutely nothing if I don't make the effort. Sargin' ain't easy. But somebody's got to do it.

 

[Snatchmaster]

I was thinking that you need to get into a situation where the women are more open and emotion. To that end, you might want to do a fight club number and start going to self-confessional, group therapy meetings. My guess would be that AA is an easy way to meet women and not too horrible a condition for them to have. Just say you've been dry for a couple of years and look for the ones who have been sober for a while.

Perhaps there's an AA chapter on your campus.

From reading your non-exploits, it seems your best bet is to network youself a group of friends. Start using the people you know to introduce you to their friends. I suspect you will have a different experience if you are introduced rather than trying cold.

Anyway, expand your social network as much as possible. Statistics show we meet most of the people we date through our friends (although most people aren't pua's). Apply your pua skills to making friends.

Good luck!

 

[NorPacWolf]

I'm Waking Up Now. Thanks for Sounding the Alarm

You guys are absolutely right. I'm getting obsessed with pua, frame manipulation/NLP, etc. The easiest way to meet people is simply to reach out to friends and to join clubs based upon common interests. I've been neglecting all of that while I've been here and have been pounding my head in frustration wondering why pua strategies aren't getting me anywhere. Duh, it's because people here have real interests and friends! So I'm going to show some more initiative in those areas and simply be a real person again. All of that stuff that guys were doing in The Game, that's designed for boys (I hesitate to use the term men since they seem so emotionally shallow) who had very serious deficits in terms of real life experiences and interests (tons of computer programmers and extreme introverts), and almost no ability to vibe with women or even with friends outside pua (the character 'Papa' for example). It's time for me to wake up. I was getting seriously derailed there. Thanks for the wake up call. And thanks to everyone who offered feedback. Peace.

NorPacWolf

 

[NorPacWolf]

Dull FR to Follow; Read at Your Own Risk

I drop by the leasing office at noon to take care of paperwork. The office girl I flirted with last time is there. I 'hover' by the door, pilfering the free candy, glancing over my shoulder at her discreetly. Much to my surprise, she doesn't ignore me, but initiates conversation with me.

Her: 'how's my favorite resident doing?' she says to me with a big smile, and with her eyes smiling. Then, she puts one finger to her lips: "shhhh!" with her eyes wide open, indicating it's 'our' secret, even though the room is full of people.

Me: I'm so surprised by her apparently flirtatious behavior, I don't know how to respond. I ask her if she went to the football (it's supposed to be big around here) game over the weekend. I try to fluff with some dullsville material, since this is how all the slow witted fellas up here roll.

Her: She says she didn't, she was out of town, but her co worker filled her in.

Me: I ask her if she's still in school.

Her: She rolls her eyes, and says no, she's just working now. She seems slightly sad, but still manages a courageous smile.

Me: I tell her that's good she's working because that's what school has prepared her for.

Her: She says I guess so, and continues to look sad.

Me: I fluff a bit about the football.

Her: She says absolutely nothing. Looks down. Completely ignores me.

---

My befuddlement with this town and its chickies continues. It turns out ****y/funny DOES work. However, the girls are so unaccustomed to this, they need at least one dose of it before they can go with your flow. I made the mistake of dropping ****y/funny with the office girl and talked instead about mundane stuff that chicks hate to talk about: work, football. She gave me the feedback I needed: talk about something fun, not stuff girls hate. Got it. I'm utterly befuddled by this place.

My current hypothesis is as follows: (and it changes everyday): chicks like ****y/funny, they like assertiveness, they want you to game them properly, but it's so unusual in these parts to find an interesting, assertive male they don't have a proper category for it at first. However, you can't give up, you have to let these girls get over their initial jitters and shyness until you're in. I think. For now.

Peace,

NorPacWolf

 

[NorPacWolf]

WE'VE GOT WOOD!

After a round of shots, some locals give the me the low down on the history of our fair state. Logging and timber are (or were) the primary industries. As a result of this very physically demanding industry, an entire culture emerged which emphasized the following:

-physical toughness on the one hand (these people still love to hike, and love to cover long stretches of terrain by foot by running: that is, they conquer nature even in recreation),
-and cooperation on the other, since any slip up could and would result in the death of your co workers (imagine not yelling 'timber!' when a tree was felled or not tying logs together properly). The social and cultural consequences and repercussions of these two principles are felt throughout the state today in the following ways:

a. the spirit of cooperation (given the history of the logging industry) is very strong in this state. People go out of their way to help each other (since their mutual survival depended upon it in the past and as a result this principle is still honored today). This is based upon self interest first and has become an unquestioned cultural norm as a result of repeated practice. As a result, social circles are very tight. You have to show people you are reliable and trustworthy before they can trust you. You need to put in face time. Also, work comes first. Distractions from physically demanding work such as logging is potentially life threatening. For example, the leasing office girl must have said she was 'at work' at least six times when I flirted with her; a very, very Oregonian ethos indeed--she's obviously not a logger as she sits behind a desk, but she respect the ethos.

b. as a result of the logging tradition, the people here are very physically adept and oriented rather than orienting themselves verbally to reality. Talk is cheap. Hard work cutting, tying and logging paid the bills; talking did not. Talking was a dangerous source of distraction to the logger and therefore became devalued, despised even since it was not only not financially worthwhile, it was physically dangerous. This is why people around here are apparently so slow witted; being glib, being chatty was actually counter productive in the past, hence the tradition carries on to this day.

By the way, if any of you are familiar with NLP, there are three ways people orient themselves to the environment; they see images (visual), they experience reality kinesthetically (physically, through touch) or through words and language. Oregonians embody a kinesthetic/physical orientation to reality.

c. However, this kinesthetic orientation does not extend to the realm of sexuality. This is because a number of protestant factions settled in oregon, and you know how repressed they are (and how polite and neighborly, and non confrontational they are conversely). Despite the strong kinesthetic orientation, the strong religious presence forbids sexual indulgence and/or violence.

d. In addition, there's obviously a huge hippie contingent which has settled throughout Oregon. Their indulgence in cannabis was tolerated by others, as long as they left others alone and did not engage in violent or sexual excess, which would have placed them in direct conflict with powerful religious interests in the state. Also, the pot smoking dulled people's linguistic abilities, making them appear 'slow' or 'mellow' and obviously dulls any tendency to engage in violent excess. This tendency towards tolerance, physical rather than a verbal orientation, and de-emphasis upon the verbal, all characteristics found in the other Oregon contingents, was reinforced by the 'hippy' contingent.

e. racially, Oregon is homogeneous. However, there is more of a mistrust of 'outsiders' as opposed to organized, active hatred. The influence of the church and its emphasis on neighborliness, and the logging industry's emphasis on cooperation lead to a certain level of tolerance despite the mistrust and ignorance of outsiders. Like all states, there is a history of racism, but my sense is that it is not as salient or powerful as it is/was in the deep south.

Conclusion:

Sarges/cold approaches generate mistrust. Also, the sexual tension generated by the cold approach sometimes generates a knee jerk reaction of fear due to the religious climate. You must prove yourself as a physically active person, as a good neighbor, a smiling friendly person, rather than as a verbally aggressive or language-oriented person. It's not me, it's the culture. Put in the face time, join the appropriate social circles, respect the norms, and you're in. They think of themselves as one big, extended family and try to maintain civility at all costs. After all, that's what's worked for them in the past, right?

These people do allow themselves to revel in a celebratory spirt after work. These people up here drink like fish: nothing like knockin' back a cold one after a hard day of logging. I can't argue with that one he he. The party spirit is alive and well, despite all the barriers.