She LJBF me, I told her otherwise..

[ketostix]

Its kind of funny I went and got my hair cut tonight at the salon where my aunt and a bunch of hot chicks work and as my aunt was cutting my hair a conversation was going on with one of the chicks telling another about guys she dated back in highschool and how after she dumped this one guy he would no longer talk to her.

She then laughed to her friend and said "he must of been crushed but whatever I guess I was just that hot".

And there was no lie in her voice covering up the truth.

She had such an air of entitlement and assurance around her that I could tell she absolutely believed what she was saying about being all that.

Now had this guy talked to her one of the times she tried to talk to him after breaking it off with him and had he said why he was no longer going to talk to her that would of burst her bubble about how great she thought she was right then and there.

She also would most likely of gotten angry since her reality was broken and verbally lashed out at the guy but you know what?

He would've won and planted some seeds for a possible future re-aquaintance with her down the line where she could play it all off as she was silly to of reacted so harshly and that she simply judged the guy wrong.

Or she could be so lost in her own delusional narcissism that she would never recover from such a blow to her fragile self esteem and never talk to the guy ever again.

The second option ladies and gentlemen would be no loss to the man.

What a woman is never told gives her room to create a favorable fantasy to herself in the truth's absence.

I agree and I don't know why so many guys think they are winning somehow by accepting her LJBF then disappearing. If your going to dissapear and not be her friend then tell her you don't want to be her friend. I don't care what anyone says a girl LJBing you is punking you and she knows it. I don't see the point in rewarding her.

 

[DismantleRepair]

Why?

Why would you continue to communicate with a woman who rejected you? Why would you do that yourself?

Do NOT continue to interact with this woman under the facade of 'friendship'. You are attracted to her. She is not attracted to you. You want different things from the relationship. This immediately creates a disparity in the relationship. All of the power is now HERS, and you're left with oneitis.

MOVE ON.

Consider the economic principle of opportunity cost. Every minute you spend in a real or pretend friendship with a woman you're attracted to, who isn't attracted to you, is a minute you could be improving yourself, working on your game, and FINDING A GIRL WHO LIKES YOU BACK.

 

[slaog]

I think it's ok to be friends. There are benefits to it and over time you can show her what she missed out on by becoming a better you.

Its kind of funny I went and got my hair cut tonight at the salon where my aunt and a bunch of hot chicks work and as my aunt was cutting my hair a conversation was going on with one of the chicks telling another about guys she dated back in highschool and how after she dumped this one guy he would no longer talk to her.

She then laughed to her friend and said "he must of been crushed but whatever I guess I was just that hot".

And there was no lie in her voice covering up the truth.

She had such an air of entitlement and assurance around her that I could tell she absolutely believed what she was saying about being all that.

Does it matter what she thinks? You can show her you don't care by how you react to her when she wants to be friends. It's your frame and even if she thinks she's better than you and is boasting about it then it's only her fragile ego. She won the battle but there is a war there for you to win!

 

[SilverSliver]

There is one benefit to being "friends" and thats if she has a bunch of female friends. I wouldn't walk away from her right away. I said earlier "move on" basically thats cool if you don't want to fvck me but lets see who your friends are. Either you'l find someone else, she'll get jelous, or you wasted a tiny bit of time. If she doesn't have any good friends, and she is worthless to you any other way, then walk. No reason to torture yourself or flatewr her ego. I stuck myself in the position with a crapload of female friends before about 7 years ago. Out of about 10-12 only 4 were worthwile. When the chips were down and my life hit the wall those 4 were the only ones there for me. The funny thing was, they were the 4 I either was, or did fvck. Case and point for me, if they aren't fvuckable they are worthless.

 

[Don Juanabbe]

One of my interests told me "I just want to be friends" so I told her "No thanks, I have enough friends." and she was like "What?" I told her that if we won't be anything more than friends than I don't want you in my life. She responded by telling me how I'm a selfish jerk and I only think about myself. Was this a smart thing to do? I was thinking, yanno, if I just be her friend, I'd still talk to her and eventually we could probably escalate more in the future. But if I cut all ties with her because she wants to take it slow, then I have 100% no chance. I just feel that she looks down on me now because she told me "I thought you were truly a genuine person but after what you told me I find you're truly a selfish prick who only cares about yourself"

Excellent work, son.

I love her double standard of calling you the 'selfish jerk', when it's in fact she who's the selfish jerk.

She wants her cake and eat it too - because she's used to getting that from all the previous guys she rejected.

The difference is, you didn't chump out, that's why she's shocked. She wants your attention, but only on her terms - well fook that I say.

I have much more respect for the woman who flat out rejects you without the 'let's be friends' phoniness and b.s.

Now, I see that others have said that you shouldn't have flat out rejected her, but that all depends on the circumstances.

What exactly prompted her to tell you that she just wants to be friends, I'm curious to know the situation.

I've seen situations where the LJBF is just a shyt test, not often, but it's happened to me once or twice. I kind of recognised it and that's when I just said, 'Fine, ok, no problems, let's just be friends'. When they see that you're not that bothered by it, that can drive them nuts.

 

[PrinceBeavis]

One of my interests told me "I just want to be friends" so I told her "No thanks, I have enough friends." and she was like "What?" I told her that if we won't be anything more than friends than I don't want you in my life.

Right approach, wrong wording.

What stands out in what you said that says "JERK" is, "I don't want you in my life."

What I've picked up around here, and what I've used was much more like.

"I'm sorry, I can never be "just friends" with you. My feelings for you are just too strong to ever settle for just that. I care about you, but I could never live a lie like that..."


See? Something positive like that.

 

[Juan_Man]

I don't understand the logic of some of these posts. By turning down her friendship request, you are basically saying that this girl is so hot that being only friends with her would be too painful. Her ego is still enhanced. How have you won?

Just because you accept her friendship request (whether real or bs) doesn't mean that you can't pursue other women. Now, if you are only friends with her in the hopes that it will lead to more, then I'll be the first to admit that that is a problem. But if you don't fit in that category, what's the big deal?

 

[j0n024]

HAHAHAHAH...ohh these type of threads and the posts within them are just so perfect to have a good laugh at and then to throw in quiggly into the mix is pure gold.

1. Women friends you MORE THEN LIKELY she is USING you to show her dominance and to brag to her friends that she has a male slave and doesnt have to give you pvssy for your services.

2. More then likely a guy that says he wants to be friends when a women friends him is a moron and an AFC as opposed to actually cutting contact any way the person getting friended sees fit, now when girls friend a guy most of the time he supplicates like a dog wanting a piece of food... and since most women thrive off of supplication what is to make her throw you the piece of meat and not just hold onto it till she gets bored of you?

Quiggly....ohh quiggly ....I'm not gonna say anything bad about your posts because well frankly they make fun of themselves...your gonna friend every guy you meet ....just to see how they react....wow. I can see this backfiring on you really really fast but I wont say how I'll just let you find out sooner or later IF you go through with this plan....but the BEST part about your whole advice was YOU got advice from YOURSELF!

"I just realized that I love this thread.

From here on out I am going to tell EVERY guy that I am considering that I just want to be friends right now. That way if he just disappears or acts like a little whiny b!tch, I have succeeded in filtering out a fake loser. A man who gets all uptight about being friends is probably not a cool enough person to connect with me anyways, and I can just imagine the conversation with someone like this.

This is a great tip!" HAHAHAHAHAHAH, damn.

OP...It's up to you how you respond to this , you can either 1, go and crawl back to your little friend with your tail between your legs and say sorry which I BET she is waiting for, or you can stand tall be a man and forget the b1tch...some people are forgetting here that here are at least 1 million women in the world...if one friends you then just hit on the next one . But it IS your choice.

 

[Reyaj]

All

I am going to try an experiment per my approach journal. I am going to try and LBJF a girl that flakes but has been responsive to random texts I've sent her. She thinks I am interested in her and is attractive and constantly gets attention. I am going to try calling her after a long time and purely go the friends route.

We'll see what happens.

This will at least show LBJFing for getting LBJF'd

 

[ARrocket]

HAHAHAHAH...ohh these type of threads and the posts within them are just so perfect to have a good laugh at and then to throw in quiggly into the mix is pure gold.

1. Women friends you MORE THEN LIKELY she is USING you to show her dominance and to brag to her friends that she has a male slave and doesnt have to give you pvssy for your services.

2. More then likely a guy that says he wants to be friends when a women friends him is a moron and an AFC as opposed to actually cutting contact any way the person getting friended sees fit, now when girls friend a guy most of the time he supplicates like a dog wanting a piece of food... and since most women thrive off of supplication what is to make her throw you the piece of meat and not just hold onto it till she gets bored of you?

OP...It's up to you how you respond to this , you can either 1, go and crawl back to your little friend with your tail between your legs and say sorry which I BET she is waiting for, or you can stand tall be a man and forget the b1tch...some people are forgetting here that here are at least 1 million women in the world...if one friends you then just hit on the next one . But it IS your choice.

I agree that now that this has already happened, you forget her. DO NOT TRY GOING BACK TO HER, SHE HAS TO COME TO YOU. Ok, agreed.

I disagree with #1 though. You guys have weird definitions of the word "friend." A "friend" doesn't use ppl. Yeah, LJBF is often an excuse and she doesn't really want friendship, but I can't believe some of you guys are actually saying that you cannot have female friends that you are not fvcking. For pete's sake, my best friend on this planet is a female. She has guys all over her, and I have NO sexual interest in the girl (this may be off the point, but I don't really see what guys see in her...lol she's just not that good looking to me). The point I'm making is that real female FRIENDS are good; females who say they want to be your friend only as a means of rejection are not good to be around. Don't go around thinking that you can't have platonic female friends.

 

[dannyegg4575]

read everything else but "iqqi"'s posts and you'll be ok. good luck.

 

[PrinceBeavis]

I think it's ok to be friends. There are benefits to it and over time you can show her what she missed out on by becoming a better you.

It's important to have females as friends, even vital. But NEVER EVER with a former love interest. Never go backwards.


Plus, most of the time, when they LJBF you, they don't care about being friends, they just want an easy way to get rid of you--so in reality, you end up getting dumped twice, and she gets to feel good about it.

 

[Don Juanabbe]

read everything else but "iqqi"'s posts and you'll be ok. good luck.

Yeah, iqqi's just running interference, don't listen to her feminist viewpoints.

 

[Brandonc662]

If you still want to generate interest (which at this point its pretty low possibility) I wouldn't have responded to her overtly like you did. I would just say "sure, ok" and never initiate contact with her. If she calls me to hang out, I will say that I am busy and have a date maybe another time.

You don't need to say to her directly you don't want her around but do so with your actions.



If you are a selfish jerk then she is a selfish b1tch who strung you around for attention without the intention of sleeping with you.

This is the correct way of handling the situation. You know the old saying "actions speak louder than words". The key is disarming her with the "Thats fine" when she says LJBF. When you accept this she will be disarmed and think you are just another AFC. When you stop giving attention this will **** with her mind by conflicting with what she said. She will start thinking maybe he is not afc maybe he has alot of options. If she calls you out on being distant tell her "You want to be friends right, well I don't talk to my friends all the time and when I do I keep it short and direct.

 

[KontrollerX]

If you accept the LJBF thing and withdraw attention she will think in her mind "Cool, he doesn't hate me and I'm so nice for offering him this false friendship".

Then she is content that you valued her enough to not reject the false friendship offer and because in her mind you don't hate her as you have accepted the offer she quickly forgets about you and focuses on her new love conquest.

You are the past and she is now fully charged up and full of good feelings.

Whereas responding to her cooly, calmly and matter of factly that you don't play friends with women you are not fvcking cuts her ego off by showing her she is not so great to the point that you think you need to entertain this pretend symbolic friendship as a last desperate attempt to keep her in your life.

Telling her directly also does away with the fantasy she can generate in her mind about why you have stopped talking to her whether you accepted the false friendship but then stopped talking to her or just dissapeared after she gave the LJBF speech and stopped talking to her as telling her directly in a calm cool, self assured fashion does not allow her to generate the fantasy belief of "Oh he must of been so crushed over losing me he just can't bear to talk to me anymore, poor guy".

Where many AFC's in this thread are just not getting it is they mistakenly think that to tell the girl directly you don't play friends with girls you aren't fvcking well these AFC's simply think that whatever guy is telling her this is doing so in a forceful somewhat angry annoyed manner. The AFC's think all guys who tell her directly do it this way but that is not the case and that is the wrong way to tell her.

You tell her with self confidence how you live your life and it comes across smooth and cool and yes it will make her p!ssed off but she will eventually come to respect you and possibly even want you back.

She may want you back in the future for telling her this because she will perceive it as arrogant and ****y and it will make her little emotions surrounding you and her ego just get all worked up to the point she will have to get back with you to try and break you down and give her the proper love/desire what have you for her that she thinks she deserves. It is the chase and the trying to break you down into a weak man that gets chicks so hot. Its why this hot latina babe I saw on a recent MSNBC prison show was in love with a tattooed criminal scumbag. She of course was in love with the idea that he had a soft side and that her love would change him. It never did of course and the chase and drama of emotions continued for her which is why she stayed loyal to the guy for 8 years while he is still in prison and why she is still loyal to him currently. She can't break him down and make him a weak soft man because that is not what he is.

 

[Juan_Man]

This is the correct way of handling the situation. You know the old saying "actions speak louder than words". The key is disarming her with the "Thats fine" when she says LJBF. When you accept this she will be disarmed and think you are just another AFC. When you stop giving attention this will **** with her mind by conflicting with what she said. She will start thinking maybe he is not afc maybe he has alot of options. If she calls you out on being distant tell her "You want to be friends right, well I don't talk to my friends all the time and when I do I keep it short and direct.

This is good advice as long as you aren't using it as a strategy to try to win her over. It won't work because plenty of other guys in the friendship zone are trying to run this game and the women are starting to catch on. But if you are actually moving on with your life and meeting new women, then more power to you. This is the way to go.

No girl is worth it if you feel you have to utilize all of these magic tricks to get her interested.

 

[iqqi]

Some of you kids are parrots.

Anyways, this is a great post.

I don't understand the logic of some of these posts. By turning down her friendship request, you are basically saying that this girl is so hot that being only friends with her would be too painful. Her ego is still enhanced. How have you won?

Just because you accept her friendship request (whether real or bs) doesn't mean that you can't pursue other women. Now, if you are only friends with her in the hopes that it will lead to more, then I'll be the first to admit that that is a problem. But if you don't fit in that category, what's the big deal?

That is exactly how it is going to be taken. Do you really think you are "getting her back" by saying no to her friendship? LMAO. Either way, she doesn't care! And if she really DID care (she thought you guys were friends, and just found out the hard way that you just wanted to fvck her), then you just lost a FRIEND. Not a slave master.

By the way. By saying that if you remain "friends" with a chick, she will just have power over you, that is for ridiculous, are you that weak? And another, that is FEAR. Stop fearing women.

Some of you are the opposite of cool.

 

[Smack]

That is exactly how it is going to be taken. Do you really think you are "getting her back" by saying no to her friendship? LMAO. Either way, she doesn't care! And if she really DID care (she thought you guys were friends, and just found out the hard way that you just wanted to fvck her), then you just lost a FRIEND. Not a slave master.

By the way. By saying that if you remain "friends" with a chick, she will just have power over you, that is for ridiculous, are you that weak? And another, that is FEAR. Stop fearing women.

Some of you are the opposite of cool.

She usually does care. A guy who she thought really wanted her just turned down her offer of friendship. She's flabbergasted. Usually, guys (AFC's) will accept the false offer of friendship because they think it sets them on the road to a sexual or romantic relationship. But it doesn't. It almost never does. But this false hope of future intimacy makes guys do just about anything for her. Think free stuff like shopping, nice dinners, cinema tickets. They compliment her all time. They give her their balls. All in the hope of future relations. This greatly inflates her ego. It is something girls like to boast about to their friends - how whipped the poor sap that isn't getting anything is. How much she controls him. The more guys she has whipped over her, the more guys she controls, the more she can brag to her friends. (Very much like how guys boast to their friends about how much girls they shag.)

But refusing this offer destroys their ego. Are they not pretty enough? Does he have other options? Is he gay? It is sort of like her femininity was not enough, that she was not good enough. Because guys generally will do almost anything to get closer to a girl they like.

 

[iqqi]

But refusing this offer destroys their ego. Are they not pretty enough? Does he have other options? Is he gay? It is sort of like her femininity was not enough, that she was not good enough. Because guys generally will do almost anything to get closer to a girl they like.

So you don't think that a guy can get this same reaction if he remains friends... but really MOVES ON?

"handing her your balls" does not = accepting offer of friendship. DOES sound like FEAR and insecurity.

OH also by the way, most chicks who aren't interested in you... aren't going to CARE like you think they will if you decide not to be their friend. It really is not as serious as you hope it is. LMAO!

The real issue here are the AFC's of this thread who know they have no self control or self respect, and will doggedly lust after any woman they are near. And that is why they cannot concieve of "friendship" with a woman.

 

[DJDamage]

If you accept the LJBF thing and withdraw attention she will think in her mind "Cool, he doesn't hate me and I'm so nice for offering him this false friendship".

Then she is content that you valued her enough to not reject the false friendship offer and because in her mind you don't hate her as you have accepted the offer she quickly forgets about you and focuses on her new love conquest.

You are the past and she is now fully charged up and full of good feelings.

Whereas responding to her cooly, calmly and matter of factly that you don't play friends with women you are not fvcking cuts her ego off by showing her she is not so great to the point that you think you need to entertain this pretend symbolic friendship as a last desperate attempt to keep her in your life.

I agree with you KontrollerX but this method is more reserved for women you have already gone out with. If its some random woman you had your eyes on for a while and you finally asked her out (that's why you should never wait too long) and she says LJBF's then its more of something you can shrug it off because nothing really happened between the two of you (its just a normal approach with the possibility of either success or rejection). There is no need at this point to respond in a cool matter and explain to her why you don't want to be friends with her. At this point she doesn't really care what you have to say unless you make it personal but why would you if you never gone out with her?!

In a situation like this I see this as more of 2 people bullsh1tting each other in a silent agreement and going on their own seperate ways without either one spilling any blood. This way nobody gets hurt since neither one is really sincere and you both are being polite about it (who knows the situation maybe you have mutual friends). By this point if you get hurt from a rejection by a woman whom you never went out with then you should examine yourself (DJ Bible 101). However I do agree with your analysis that if you have already gone out with a woman and she pulls her LJBF's line then letting her know stright up that you won't is perfectly fine. The OP never went out with her, yet he wanted a possible future rendevous with her (even though chances are almost slim to none, she would accept his date offer in a future redevous after rejecting him the first time) therefore his response did not measure up to what he really wanted.