Wyldfire said:It sounds like your girlfriend is a self-sabotager. It's good that you and she both recognize that. It's also good that she is willing to try to resolve it. People who sabotage their relationships tend to do it when they have something really good going...they get scared and subconsciously do stupid things in part to test the other person's love and commitment to them and in part because they don't think they deserve anything good. I'm going to go out on a limb here and guess that she was abused in the past...possibly physically but more likely sexually. I've seen women do this a lot with an abusive past.
This is not impossible to overcome, but in order to overcome it she has to REALLY be committed to dealing with it and unpacking any unpleasant baggage she's carrying around with her. Based on the new information you gave I would almost bet money on it not going any further than kissing. If she's subconsciously sabotaging it's like an internal battle between her wanting the be with you while part of her is telling her she doesn't deserve to be happy because she is "bad". It's most likely those thoughts that allowed her to betray you. Communication right now is SO key...and you really will need to help her keep those urges to sabotage things under control while she tries to work through them. I think you can get past this is you both work very hard...and I mean hard. If she doesn't get a handle on the sabotaging and underlying issues she will eventually do something like this again...give you a reason to leave her AND to give herself more reason to punish and hate herself.
Ok tweak, some of the pointers are very nice to read but your still missing out on the most important thing out of this whole thread, something you really need to consider.Tweek_1984 said:She was abused by a babysitter when she was a child. She told me that she never knew whether it was sexual or not, she doesn't know, which obviously sounds like pure sub-concious denial.
Her parents sent her to shrinks when she was young but she hated the experience and never went back.
Despite what people are saying about you in this thread, you seem to come out with remarks that are closest to the mark.
However, I'm basing decisions on my own thoughts and still listening to everbody.
Do not be too easy. If you are too easy to get, she will not want you. If you are too easy to keep, she will lose interest in you. If you are too easy to control, she will not respect you.
Quote taken from The SoSuave Guide to Women and Dating, which you can read for FREE.
This is AWESOME advice.00Kevin said:As a man you must place high importance on respect. If you don't then you won't ever get any respect.
jonwon said:So your intelligent mind never thought of any of this stuff did it?
To be fair, apart from last night when she got upset when I told her that she hadn't been making an effort in the relationship, she has been practically begging at my feet. She called me 5 times yesterday, leaving 2 messages. Nearly everytime she's called me since she confessed she has been crying down the phone asking for forgiveness.00Kevin said:Let her beg and cry at your feet before you even have the mind to reconsider.
As a man you must place high importance on respect. If you don't then you won't ever get any respect.
Just because a woman listens to you and acts interested in what you say doesn't mean she really is. She might just be acting polite, while silently wishing that the date would hurry up and end, or that you would go away... and never come back.
Quote taken from The SoSuave Guide to Women and Dating, which you can read for FREE.
You are weak and make me sick.Tweek_1984 said:I know that the majority of the advice in this tread will be immediately split up with her, but bear in mind that I do love her, and I don't want to make any rash decisions that may drastically affect my whole future. Please take this into consideration.
WHAT THE FVCK? No you don't. You already know why. She does not respect you.. she does not respect herself. She chose to fulfill biological desire instead of the higher human functions our society has developed. She violated a contract you two had and gave the finger to the higher functions of humanity. Fvck her.Tweek_1984 said:I need to find out why she's done this.
Because she's a young girl. That is reason enough. And why WOULD she stay faithful when spineless jellyfish like you say it's OKAY? This probably isn't even the first time she cheated on you or someone else. I bet her friends cheat all the time (i always hear the stories from my girlfriends about their friends) and get away with it so why wouldn't she? She probably already knows you are spineless and thinks she's in charge so she did whatever she wanted knowing you wouldn't do a damn thing but put up a fake game of pouting for a little bit then take her back.If I could cope and was prepared to stay faithful, why wouldn't she?
Fvck you for ruining women further for me. They now expect this jellyfish bullsh1t so when i'm a man nowadays i get called an assh0le instead because i don't submit myself to feminine bullsh1t and kiss their butt like you and millions like you.then call her and put the ball in her court.
If you're going to give constructive criticism, don't bother insulting me on a message board because I'll come to the conclusion that you're an idiot. :nono:mrRuckus said:Unpalatable nonsense
NO! NO! Don't stop being spineless.mrRuckus said:Stop being spineless.
That, plus the fact that you're both in your early 20's, plus the Long-Distance is a recipe for a doomed and unfulfilling relationship.1) Ok she lives in a downstairs flat with a guy and a girl. A couple more of her girlfriends live above her in the upstairs flat.
2) So my girl goes out, like she does a lot, with Helen and Jane and a few other girls plus one of Helens guy friends. This guy friend, Jim, brought a few of his random buddies along. Nothing strange about this.
3) So they all go out to a club and I imagine they get drunk. At this point, according to my girlfriend, her and the guy she eventually made out with had not made any particular connection.
If you currently have too many women chasing you, calling you, harassing you, knocking on your door at 2 o'clock in the morning... then I have the simple solution for you.
Just read my free ebook 22 Rules for Massive Success With Women and do the opposite of what I recommend.
This will quickly drive all women away from you.
And you will be able to relax and to live your life in peace and quiet.
Yeah same here. You know I like being sarcastic and all that, but sometimes I just have to lay it down.mrRuckus said:Thanks for making me look bad by making pathetic the norm.
Jims friend actually. But it doesn't really matter either way since you probably haven't properly read what I've said.Call_Me_Daddy said:NO! NO! Don't stop being spineless.
If you do, you might actually have some self respect. And how is Jim going to take your next girls away from you too? You gotta be a little more understanding abut poor old Jim. Be a friend and help him geh laid by stealing your girls. If you contunue to be a pvssy, EVERYBODY WINS! Especially you because you can b!tch and moan on internet forums about your girlfriend, and then get loads of advice from people about what you should do.
You can get a sense of satisfaction from this... and you don't have to do anything! All you got to do is read the advice, and then feel like you made some progress without actually having to do anything! Isn't being a spineless coward awesome? You can accomplish without doing.
Nice. Its always good to resort to insults when your little mind can't wrap itself around the fact that you are wrong.Tweek_1984 said:Since the trolls have started to chime in with their $0.02, I guess this is where I'm going to have to wrap this thread up and move on.
No she doesn't. She wants to cause emotion and see what happens. If she gave a sh1t at all and felt guilty she should have kept it to herself and acted like nothing happened if she wanted to not hurt him.jonwon said:Your GF feels guilty for what she did, this is the reason why she told you, she could have kept it secret but her love for you as made her tell you this as she really does not want to hurt you!
That's right dude. Now you're suddenly the tough guy but you can't pull yourself away from a tiny little girl who owns you.Tweek_1984 said:If you're going to give constructive criticism, don't bother insulting me on a message board because I'll come to the conclusion that you're an idiot. :nono:
I've been asking for advice, not a slagging match.
You essentially upped your VALUE in her eyes by showing her that, if she wants you, she has to at times do things that you like to do. You are SOMETHING after all. You are NOT FREE. If she wants to hang with you, it's going to cost her something — time, effort, money.
Quote taken from The SoSuave Guide to Women and Dating, which you can read for FREE.