She Cheated

[Call_Me_Daddy]

Actually, I specifically told him do NOT even think about marriage after this for a long time...IF he decides to work it out with her. I just told him what he would need to do IF he chose to try to salvage the relationship. I didn't advise him what to decide. I just tried to give him help with other options besides running away, which is the only option to anything guys on here give...which is why I think most of them are pansies who are so insecure and afraid of failing that they quit before they ever get anything accomplished. It's sad, really...

Salvage the relationship?

LOL. Never thought about that. I guess if he's interested in a FB, then more power to him. But as far as what he had before... sounds foolish to attempt that again with the same person. Especially since he now knows the value of the relationship to the hor.

 

[Mental]

So my girlfriend of 18 months called me tonight and told me that she'd made out with another guy last night.

I know that the majority of the advice in this tread will be immediately split up with her, but bear in mind that I do love her, and I don't want to make any rash decisions that may drastically affect my whole future. Please take this into consideration.

I gotta say, it's your choice, but I'd give you the advice to move on.

You know how they say "Once a cheater, always a cheater?" I still have a feeling that it's true for the most part.

You've said you were "picky." Which means that a woman has to prove herself in a lot of ways. I would think that you would demand integrity from a woman (and that you would have that level of integrity yourself). She Showed that she is capable of being dishonest, she proved that she has a lot of growing up to do, and she showed that her loyalty to you means nothing to her.

A mistake is forgetting to carry a one. She MEANT to do it, she was fine with the idea, and the idea of you didn't stop her from going ahead.

At the very least, that means she's got little willpower, and she makes some pretty rash, immature decisions.

Do you really want that from a friend, let alone a girlfriend?

Say you decided to live together or marry...Could you trust her? I mean, say a situation comes up where she has a conference to go to for work... and in the back of your mind, you've got to wonder. She's shown that she's more than capable of cheating. It's not JUST a kiss or making out, and if she demeans it in that way, then you have to ask yourself if she feels the same when YOU kiss her ("oh a kiss isn't cheating... it doesn't mean anything").

Would she respect you if you stayed around? Honestly, would she? And would she be alright with you sticking around with her because she's your "room and board" for getting to the US... that's not always the best thing for a healthy relationship.

Don't look to accomplish things through a woman like this. If you want to get to N America, you find another way if you want it that badly. But not through her.

Be glad that it was only 18 months, and not longer. I feel that honestly, if you want a healthy relationship with a woman, you have to expect integrity. And if they don't show it, then you have to move on.

And honestly, "banging some broad" is probably not your best choice of options after a breakup. Make sure you go for integrity. It may take a long time, and a lot of pain, but you might - just might, get a real woman of integrity and quality.

Love is a tricky thing. You may love her, or feel as though you do, but she obviously has no feelings for you. That's not good in a romantic relationship. Sometimes, (and it may sound trite) you have to get go, for your health, instead of your current feelings.

Good luck in your decision.

 

[I Want To Be a Playa]

you've got to give us more about the circumstances of her cheating. was she drunk? is she into this other guy? come on man, spill the beans

 

[DJF or John]

Tweek

Tweek you are a typical "guy" a typical "man."

Just another stastic. Just another guy running around with his head up his azz instead of paying attention to the TIMES.

Yes, times have changed my friend. And you can keep on running around with your head up your azz all you want to, but you will continue to be hurt, depressed, and sad, and gettin your azz kicked. And I'm 23 now, I don't plan to die until I am 100, but that STILL means life is TOO DAMN SHORT to be going through this bullshyt.

1. First off god damn it. 95% of women today, 14-40, are looking to be FVCKED FIRST, and LOVED SECOND. Tweet you are a typical fvcking guy, just running around trying so hard to win the "Love" contest, yet, you FAIL the "Fvck" contest, thus she never lets you into the "Love" round.

Women are like MEN today. Men stick and move, and men run around looking to obtain a nvt. Women have adopted that Free Will Mindset, and are doing the same. Their FIRST requirement of a mate, is this.....Can He Fvck Me Good?

A.) You have to fvck her in her mind BEFORE you touch her body. That means, you have to stimpulate her mind, get her wet, and all that shyt....BEFORE you even do ANYTHING sexual.

B.) Then when you DO the sexual shyt, you have to DELIVER. Yes, multiple fvckin nvts to that bytch in a short amoutn of time.

2. Secondly, as far as relationships are concerned, a TRUE relationship ONLY occurs around 4-5% of the time. That means, majority of women in today's America....ARE NOT RELATIONSHIP MATERIAL. Who gives a FVCK what she says? I dont' care HOW much she said I love you. I don't care HOW much she said I want to be with you. Don't you under fvcking stand, that when you turn your back, another guy has his dyck up her azz?

And that goes to all you guys on this forum. Understand something, 95% of the time in relationships...you THINK you have a good chick. But understand something, unless she is one of the 5% of women, that bytch is getting fvcked behind your back like a skinny little boy in prision. And she likes that shyt.


Tweek, you know what? I try to help "some" guys on this forum. But see, I keep repeating myself. I make threads to help guys, I do all this shyt. But you dumb azzes run out and do the same fvcking shyt. I'm not typing another fvckin line on this thread, until you respond and tell ME...that you understand SO FAR, just what the fvck I just said.

 

[Blusher]

Blablabla...which is why I think most of them are pansies who are so insecure and afraid of failing that they quit before they ever get anything accomplished. It's sad, really...

Yeah right. Now shut the hell up, you don't know ****.
What you call 'running away' is actually showing courage, staying would be weak.

Anyway, read this, it's pure gold:

http://www.askmen.com/dating/doclove_300/367_relationship_expert.html

I feel for you, man. Be strong, do what feels right.

 

[jonwon]

So much conflciting shi* on here no wonder the poor sod is confused, do this do that e.t.c

In fact why not jsut post a little facts and experiances and let him make up HIS OWN MIND, how about that then, uh?

Now i see how alot of guys are posting stuff based on there relationships and experiances and rather frankly some have been shi* from reading it, hey no biggie things are not what the once where!

Anyway some facts for the OP to read.

LTR:
Long term relationships are generally a bad idea to invest time into, why?
1. LTR one person has to make a sacrifice at some stage for the relationship bloom, what this entails is: sacrificing friends, family and jobs or career choices.
2. LTR two people live seperate lives, the need for relationship stuff like comfort, sex and 1 to 1 conversations are not being met.
3. The effort to get together means more sacrifices and people have to be willing to fit the other into schedules that include travel arrangments, which can only highten the stress especcially if they dont have a place they can stay for a few nights e.t.c, an example is a GF living with parants and a meet up involves sleeping in the little brother's room.
4. LTR quote is 'abscence makes the heart grow fonder' i dont know how or why this came about, i think it was spin for the war so soilders could go away and think there partner would want them more or some shi* i dont know but i do know from experiance and looking into this, the reverse is true. You dont meet each others needs and in that abscence makes the heart grow colder, its virtually the same as being together too much can suffocate, well not ebing together can make one loose intrest.

And the biggest and the best reason LTR dont work:.
LTR spread over a long period of time, each person living apart are growing sepreratly, so that GF you had for 18months, is most probably not the same GF she was back then, she is changing and so are you and you both building lives away from each other, in that the distance is not jsut Distance it is both people are growing distant from there life around them.


What is my opinion on this:

Well this is my opinion.

Your GF feels guilty for what she did, this is the reason why she told you, she could have kept it secret but her love for you as made her tell you this as she really does not want to hurt you! Listen to this advice and not the she wants to dump you or swallowed some guys come! She had no reason to tell you none at all, the only reason she did is out of guilt and not wanting to hurt you at all, seems a odd statement but hey thats how it is.

I would brace yourself, your young and love comes and goes!
But the LTR pressures are starting to show and the evidence is becoming clear.

If you stay with your GF< i am unsure if it will last, maybe it will sort itself out for now, but what about a months time or two months time?

In closing LTR really do not work and have been proven over and over again to fail eventually! Maybe it's hard to read but anyone going into a LTR should brace themselves for an eventual split.

 

[Blusher]

jonwon, I guess you mean LDR (Long Distance) not LTR(Long Term) is that correct?

 

[Jon55]

When a woman spills her guts and tells you she only "kissed him", in chick speak it means she swallowed his load. If she admits to sucking his c0ck it really means he busted his load up her dirtchute.

Lose this broad asap.

It's crap like this that makes the DJ community look bad. Not everyone wants to pick up some ***** from a bar to get his jollies.

Tweek, I understand where you're coming from man and I have to agree with Wyldfire here.

you know what is best for you, you only posted a thread to see if you could find other's who would help you justify it.

Truth. LDR's are a bad idea in any case, and while I know you two really had a good bond the LD can still mess it up. If you guys aren't going to be near each other anytime soon I would let it go and not make any contact with her (as hard as it sounds, it's the best choice trust me).

 

[jonwon]

jonwon, I guess you mean LDR (Long Distance) not LTR(Long Term) is that correct?

Yeh, sorry at work so i type fast and dont get time to edit, good spot

 

[Call_Me_Daddy]

Yeah right. Now shut the hell up, you don't know ****.
What you call 'running away' is actually showing courage, staying would be weak.

But I agree with Wyldfyre. All we need is love. So lets all accept each other for our differences and hold hands forming a ring around the earth chanting hippie songs in the sunset. With rainbows and sh1t.

And then live happily ever after.

So tell the dude not to let go of the girl. She is special. She is so not like the rest of the dirty cheating hos out there. Because she is partially honest with him after she spread her legs to get pumped by another guy all night. And after all... partial honesty is important, not loyalty. Right guys?

 

[Last Man Standing]

Well this is my opinion.

Your GF feels guilty for what she did, this is the reason why she told you, she could have kept it secret but her love for you as made her tell you this as she really does not want to hurt you! Listen to this advice and not the she wants to dump you or swallowed some guys come! She had no reason to tell you none at all, the only reason she did is out of guilt and not wanting to hurt you at all, seems a odd statement but hey thats how it is..

What??? She feels "guilty"?? She "loves" him?? She doesn't want to "hurt" him??? HUH??????????????? What in sam-hill is going on here!!!!!! Are you a man????? How old are you????

This is the reason why she told him.....

Tweeky, So she was your "passport" to America?

Well, I don't think she wants you here so she told you about this to keep you away and not to consider coming to America.

She planned this many months ago - she didn't have to tell you about this sordid affair and gotten away with it, but she did tell you because she wanted a life here without you and this was your signal to don't depend on her for your stay in America!

This is good sarcasm!

But I agree with Wyldfyre. All we need is love. So lets all accept each other for our differences and hold hands forming a ring around the earth chanting hippie songs in the sunset. With rainbows and sh1t.

And then live happily ever after.

So tell the dude not to let go of the girl. She is special. She is so not like the rest of the dirty cheating hos out there. Because she is partially honest with him after she spread her legs to get pumped by another guy all night. And after all... partial honesty is important, not loyalty. Right guys?

 

[Remulak]

Wyldfyre, up until now I've thought of you as a poster who had pretty good insight on the female mind. This time you went over the edge, you're telling this guy that he should try and salvage a relationship where the girl cheated on him? That's the worst advice I've ever heard.

 

[Wyldfire]

Wyldfyre, up until now I've thought of you as a poster who had pretty good insight on the female mind. This time you went over the edge, you're telling this guy that he should try and salvage a relationship where the girl cheated on him? That's the worst advice I've ever heard.

Everything he posted suggested that he doesn't really want to quit and throw the relationship away. I always try to give advice to guys that can help them obtain what their post implies that their goal is. If a situation is hopeless I always say so. I don't think his situation is hopeless. I don't think it's great, certainly...but nor is it hopeless. LDRs are difficult at best and both people get lonely. Sometimes this kind of thing will happen. We don't know the details of the situation...if she had been drinking, if the guy just came up and laid a kiss on her uninvited, etc.

I advised against a marriage anytime soon and told him what it would require for him to successfully get past this issue IF he chooses to go that route. I never told him he should or shouldn't stay. I just gave him the option his post implied he was looking for.

 

[Bourne]

No, no, no.

Please my man, do not listen to Wyldfire. I've read first page of responses and some of them made me sick.

Move on. Have some self respect. This isn't a challenge where you feel like if you break up you are running away. This isn't a challenge its a deal breaker. If you keep her, then subconsiously it plants a seed that you are a chump and have no self respect and such behavior is acceptable perhaps later on when the relationship hits a bump on the road.

She made out? No big deal? You have to be kidding me. What in 5 years you'll come back and say she svcked someones kock. But no its no big deal, she told you the truth and didn't have sex.

I can't believe you are getting responses to keep her.

Its your life, do what you want, but what you decide now will echo a lifetime. Your lifetime. Do not settle for mediocre sh1t man. My advice is to dump her, move on and find someone who respects the relationship, herself and you.

Good luck bro. Keep me updated.

 

[Tweek_1984]

Colin warning:

Thanks for all the responses. I want to keep a really open mind mind on this one.

I just want to say first that I've talked to alot of people about this, posted in a bunch of forums. Whether the advice was good or bad, it has been completely split down the middle. I've been posting here for a few years myself and the advice from this site definately helped me come out of my shell and become my own man. I knew however, that the responses I would recieve in this forum would tell me to run away. Thats not a bad thing. like I said, I want to keep an open mind and make a consious, responisble decision about this.

However, I think the conclusion I've come to so far is that however much advice people can give me, in the end, it's down to me. Afterall, I am a pretty intelligent guy and I'd like to think I can weigh up the pros and cons of what has happened effectively, and come to the best possible solution.

That being said, this is how I currently feel about the situation:

My girlfriend has went through what happened with me and even though I'll never know exactly what happened down to the last detail for sure, I do believe what she has told me as to be the truth (i.e. she went out to a club with friends and got drunk. Her flatmates friends came back to their place, they all chilled, everyone went to bed apart from her and this dude as it was decided that he would crash on the couch. They crashed and watched a film together, they kissed, then it went no further. This dude fell asleep on the couch and my girlfriend slept on the floor. She calls me the next day to confess.)

Now, like I said, I'll never know the details for sure. I don't know how long they made out for, whether she was into it or not, etc etc. What I am willing to believe however, is that it went no further. If I can salvage any respect from my girlfriend whatsoever, it is the notion that she rarely lies (one of the reasons why I liked her in the first place).

If this is how things went down, then I'm just not willing to throw away everything I have with a girl I love, one of my best friends and a link to my future goals (with not much emphasis on the latter, just incase you think Im with her exclusively to see out my dreams. I understand that it would be ridiculous to live my life like that anyways).

Ok, I've held my end of the bargain and she hasn't. First of all, we're in a long distance relationship and I havent seen her since the new year. She's an extrovert, a real affectionate person with alot of friends which is in contrast to me. This year, she parted ways with her best friend and flatmate because she found out s8it was being talked about her behind her back, so shes lost a bunch of friends and has considered dropping out of her programme.
Second, she has deep emotional issues going on (I don't want to go into this, but sometimes she expresses her sadness through self-destruction, hence the 'woops-a-daisy some guy has just kissed me, now my boyfriend will split up with me, I hate myself' type deal. This goes deeper and she called me the other night and told me she recognises this and has made an appointment with a shrink.)
Basically, she's a lonely 20 year old hottie with emotional issues.

A hottie with emotional issues? RUN AWAY NOW, I hear you scream. I'm sorry, but first off, I love her, second, she's a super cool person.

HOWEVER, what about me, right? Well, I'm a hot 22 year old, super intelligent guy and I've held my end of the bargain, right? That is true and once more, not only has she disrespected me, but damn, she's burned down our bridge of trust and loyalty, something which I rate numbers 1 & 2 respectively in a relationship.
Second to this, this girl is not the best I can find in the world.

So where do I go from here?

Well, one motto that I do live by is 'Fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me'.
Damn, I know I can go out an lay a bunch of hotties, but thats not what I'm looking for. I love this girl and I've invested alot and so has she.

I'd be losing alot to finish it over a drunken kiss while I had been out of the picture for months.

However, if I do decide to make a go of it, and I've talked to her about this, then things will not be the same. I can can forgive, but I can never forget. The bridge of trust and loyalty has been burnt down and it has to be rebuilt. This will take effort on both parts.
My respect for her has obviosuly went down the drain so that will have to be rekindled aswell.

I guess what I'm trying to say here is that, if we do try to patch things up, it's not because I'm blindly walking back into a relationship to become her puppy dog. I'm doing this because I think it's the best thing for me to do. I think what we had is not worth throwing away for what she did.

I am keeping my self respect. However, I have to draw myself a line now and promise myself to stick with it.

I shall tread carefully, without losing self-respect.

 

[speed dawg]

There shouldn't even be a choice here. Stay friends with her, but cut off the commitment. Go out and "make out" (take it for whatever definition you like) with other chicks. Maybe you get back together in time, who knows.

But you can't trust her.
You can't even see her.
You can't respect her.

You only want her because you can't have anyone else.

Time to make the change, pal.

 

[Last Man Standing]

Colin warning:

Thanks for all the responses. I want to keep a really open mind mind on this one.

I just want to say first that I've talked to alot of people about this, posted in a bunch of forums. Whether the advice was good or bad, it has been completely split down the middle. I've been posting here for a few years myself and the advice from this site definately helped me come out of my shell and become my own man. I knew however, that the responses I would recieve in this forum would tell me to run away. Thats not a bad thing. like I said, I want to keep an open mind and make a consious, responisble decision about this.

However, I think the conclusion I've come to so far is that however much advice people can give me, in the end, it's down to me. Afterall, I am a pretty intelligent guy and I'd like to think I can weigh up the pros and cons of what has happened effectively, and come to the best possible solution.

That being said, this is how I currently feel about the situation:

My girlfriend has went through what happened with me and even though I'll never know exactly what happened down to the last detail for sure, I do believe what she has told me as to be the truth (i.e. she went out to a club with friends and got drunk. Her flatmates friends came back to their place, they all chilled, everyone went to bed apart from her and this dude as it was decided that he would crash on the couch. They crashed and watched a film together, they kissed, then it went no further. This dude fell asleep on the couch and my girlfriend slept on the floor. She calls me the next day to confess.)

Now, like I said, I'll never know the details for sure. I don't know how long they made out for, whether she was into it or not, etc etc. What I am willing to believe however, is that it went no further. If I can salvage any respect from my girlfriend whatsoever, it is the notion that she rarely lies (one of the reasons why I liked her in the first place).

If this is how things went down, then I'm just not willing to throw away everything I have with a girl I love, one of my best friends and a link to my future goals (with not much emphasis on the latter, just incase you think Im with her exclusively to see out my dreams. I understand that it would be ridiculous to live my life like that anyways).

Ok, I've held my end of the bargain and she hasn't. First of all, we're in a long distance relationship and I havent seen her since the new year. She's an extrovert, a real affectionate person with alot of friends which is in contrast to me. This year, she parted ways with her best friend and flatmate because she found out s8it was being talked about her behind her back, so shes lost a bunch of friends and has considered dropping out of her programme.
Second, she has deep emotional issues going on (I don't want to go into this, but sometimes she expresses her sadness through self-destruction, hence the 'woops-a-daisy some guy has just kissed me, now my boyfriend will split up with me, I hate myself' type deal. This goes deeper and she called me the other night and told me she recognises this and has made an appointment with a shrink.)
Basically, she's a lonely 20 year old hottie with emotional issues.

A hottie with emotional issues? RUN AWAY NOW, I hear you scream. I'm sorry, but first off, I love her, second, she's a super cool person.

HOWEVER, what about me, right? Well, I'm a hot 22 year old, super intelligent guy and I've held my end of the bargain, right? That is true and once more, not only has she disrespected me, but damn, she's burned down our bridge of trust and loyalty, something which I rate numbers 1 & 2 respectively in a relationship.
Second to this, this girl is not the best I can find in the world.

So where do I go from here?

Well, one motto that I do live by is 'Fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me'.
Damn, I know I can go out an lay a bunch of hotties, but thats not what I'm looking for. I love this girl and I've invested alot and so has she.

I'd be losing alot to finish it over a drunken kiss while I had been out of the picture for months.

However, if I do decide to make a go of it, and I've talked to her about this, then things will not be the same. I can can forgive, but I can never forget. The bridge of trust and loyalty has been burnt down and it has to be rebuilt. This will take effort on both parts.
My respect for her has obviosuly went down the drain so that will have to be rekindled aswell.

I guess what I'm trying to say here is that, if we do try to patch things up, it's not because I'm blindly walking back into a relationship to become her puppy dog. I'm doing this because I think it's the best thing for me to do. I think what we had is not worth throwing away for what she did.

I am keeping my self respect. However, I have to draw myself a line now and promise myself to stick with it.

I shall tread carefully, without losing self-respect.

We all make allowances when we want something bad enough but just to advise you - a kiss is more than a kiss! it is what led to that kiss that is important! I don't believe they just kissed each other "good night". There is more involved!

And why, if it was just a brief drunken coincidental encounter would she call you to alarm you and make you suspicious and less trustworthy of her??

This does not make sense - but since you are emotionally involved you are trying to rationalize the irrational! I know, she is a troubled child. This doesn't sound too promising for your future - just my perspective.

Why did she tell you? For what purpose? What good comes of this for her? For you? If it meant nothing then why bring it up?

 

[Tweek_1984]

We all make allowances when we want something bad enough but just to advise you - a kiss is more than a kiss! it is what led to that kiss that is important! I don't believe they just kissed each other "good night". There is more involved!

And why, if it was just a brief drunken coincidental encounter would she call you to alarm you and make you suspicious and less trustworthy of her??

This does not make sense - but since you are emotionally involved you are trying to rationalize the irrational! I know, she is a troubled child. This doesn't sound too promising for your future - just my perspective.

Why did she tell you? For what purpose? What good comes of this for her? For you? If it meant nothing then why bring it up?

The more I think about the situation, the more epiphanies I seem to have.

First of all I do genuinely believe she has called me because she felt guilty because she loves me. However, there seems to be a plethora of reasons behind why she kissed another guy.

These include:

1. The fact that I've been out of the picture for nyon 3 months. Out of sight, out of mind. Plus, she's lonely and craves closeness.

• She has underlying emotional issues which she expresses through self-destruction.

• She's a horny 20 year old.

However, despite those neutral reasons, I have to ask the question - 'If I could hold my end of the bargain, why couldn't she?'

Well, today I thought hard about this and I've come to a twofold conclusion:

First of all, I have put way more heart and soul into this relationship than her. To me, we've had something special and I dread losing her. To her, I can only imagine this is just another relationship.

Secondly, she is losing interest in me plain and simple. Ok, I'm not around, but I confess that since meeting her, I have almost become the AFC I once was, but instead of being an average frustrated chump, I've become an average content chump.
I'm currently finishing my crappy ass degree right now which I'm not enjoying and my girlfriend is on the other side of the world. I have been super mopey and depressed and this definately comes through in the way I've been talking to her. She told me the other night how I'd been complaining about going out with friends and standing on my own totally being bummed out.

And this is reinforced by the memory of just 18 months ago when I met her. When I went abroad on my exchange, suddendly I was the centre of attention and I was putting into practice everything I had read about becoming an alpha male and a player. Once I had settled down I realised I had girls all over me and my guy friends were making jokes about how many girls I could lay in a year. It was party time! and the first time in my life I felt so liberated.
Its so blatant! 1 months after arriving I had had sex with my now girlfriend. I remember us talking one night on my bed, just before I kicked her out of my room, about how I wanted to keep an open relationship because I wanted to keep my options open. I was almost telling her I didnt want to go out with her because I wanted to see who else I could lay. Of course the irony of the game is that, she couldn't get enough of this and she was constantly all over me. I had her wrapped around the my finger.

The problem is (in the player sense), is that a few months down the line, I fell in love with her and after an argument about fidelity one night, we decided to go steady.

Ever since then I've been completely honest and open with her, exposing my true self - my wimpy, self concious side and all. I suppose this came to a head when I went over for christmas and stayed with her family, being the perfect boyfriend.

And of course, now, since I've left, her wimpy boyfriend is out of the picture, moaning down the phone to her about my situation. I'm sort of not suprised this has happened.

I'm just not sure where to go from here. If she had had sex with this dude, then I would have called it a day. but like I'e said, I'm not willing to lose her over this.

I think this maybe just as much my fault as it was hers. Maybe I need to become the player again. Although, I imagine this will be hard to do over the phone.

Tonight I thought about calling her and basically asking her what she thinks about maintaining an 'open relationship'. I'm not sure how this would go down, plus I'm kind of worried she'd take it seriously and get laid by a bunch of other guys. I just think I should let go of the reigns for a while and stop investing so much of my heart and soul, especially when she isnt prepared to do so. Sort of bring my level down to hers, as it were.

Anyways, she's been calling me all day and the phone is ringing now, but I haven't been picking up. i guess I'm just not ready to talk to her yet. I need more time to think.

Any advice would be appreciated.

 

[Last Man Standing]

However, there seems to be a plethora of reasons behind why she kissed another guy.

These include:

1. The fact that I've been out of the picture for nyon 3 months. Out of sight, out of mind. Plus, she's lonely and craves closeness.

• She has underlying emotional issues which she expresses through self-destruction.

• She's a horny 20 year old.

However, despite those neutral reasons, I have to ask the question - 'If I could hold my end of the bargain, why couldn't she?'

OK now the three things that you mentioned - is this what you are looking for in a wife??? Do you trust her to be loyal to you?? If you are then you are in a trouble!!! I notice a lot of guys on this forum are very loyal but their g'f isn't!!

I think this maybe just as much my fault as it was hers. .

Why do guys here blame themselves everytime thei girl kisses and screws other dudes?? This is bizarre! I never heard this before until I came here!

Yes, it is your fault because you love her and treat her with respect - you drove her into the arms of other men!!

 

[Tweek_1984]

OK now the three things that you mentioned - is this what you are looking for in a wife??? Do you trust her to be loyal to you?? If you are then you are in a trouble!!! I notice a lot of guys on this forum are very loyal but their g'f isn't!!


Why do guys here blame themselves everytime thei girl kisses and screws other dudes?? This is bizarre! I never heard this before until I came here!

Yes, it is your fault because you love her and treat her with respect - you drove her into the arms of other men!!

Of course it's her fault. It's maybe not my fault, for want of a better word, but my actions may be have contributed to her reactions, i.e. kissing another dude.

Maybe it's a sign of things to come, or like I've explained, maybe shes an emotional 20 year-old college student and her depressed boyfriend is thousands of miles away.

If she'd had sex I'd have left her by now. But she kept it strictly PG, why? That's what I have to ask myself. Maybe if I don't change the situation soon it will be sex and not just a guilty kiss.