"Sexually Invisible?"

[Luke Skywalker]

Please do not tell her that it bothers you that you have never seen a real naked woman. Her getting naked is something that should happen naturally.

Maxtro, she's a FUG - children at her school even make fun of her face because she has a horse face. She's black, fat, smelly and speaks with a french accent (the last time I saw her) and is from Haity. I'm way more attractive physically than she is and no other guy is taking her on. That's the score. I wont act like it, but I'm not going to be walking on egg shells around her either worrying about if I'm going to trip a land-mine. That's the benefit for me to go out with an ugly woman.

In a sence the fact I'm dealing with an FUG is sort of a "resort" to something for me because I can't get a girl equal or better in the attractiveness scale because the nerves start kicking in and I get hyper-sensitive.

I don't understand any sort of natural stuff -- I'm technical and only understand controlled stuff. So this -- happening naturally -- doesn't jive. Either I want it and pursue it or I don't.

Honestly, Maxtro, I'm not sure what I'll do with her. Maybe she'll have to seduce me. I wouldn't care if an FUG wants to try to break me. I'll have to see if I put on an anti-slvt defence and cry waiting until marriage, or how far I'll go with her if she does that.

If I do decide to forfeit her and do nothing, please do not take me seriously if I complain a hot babe gets broken by another guy when I'm her friend. I'm sure you too would pursue any nice girl that was available to you for sex even if she was a bit ugly.

 

[mothballs]

Wow... holy **** dude that's messed up. If you've read and studied any of this ****, you would know that, short of actually being a troll, it really doesn't matter what you look like... you can pull whatever tail you want if you meet her personality requirements. You have VERY serious self esteem issues... that should be your #1 focus before any of this crap. Get a grip on yourself and don't even think about approaching a woman until you can actaully be proud of who you are.

 

[Luke Skywalker]

Wow... holy **** dude that's messed up. If you've read and studied any of this ****, you would know that, short of actually being a troll, it really doesn't matter what you look like... you can pull whatever tail you want if you meet her personality requirements. You have VERY serious self esteem issues... that should be your #1 focus before any of this crap. Get a grip on yourself and don't even think about approaching a woman until you can actaully be proud of who you are.

Are you talking to me or are you talking about the OP who started this thread?

If I have self-esteem issues, then it's because of negative experiences with women in the past -- it's always isolated to 'women', and nothing to do with anything with the rest of life, so it's always a single focused issue.

I thought if you are an older 33 year old virgin guy you can't afford to be too picky with who you decide to be sexual with since there is a major problem with just expressing sexuality in the first place so feeling comfortable with a person that you can confide in them with sexual matters is much more important. As I discussed, women who are sexually liberated, or any woman who is expressing a very high interest level (ugly or not), are the type of women I would be comfortable about confiding about sexual matters -- because I can not handle their own anti-slvt defence if I have one of my own -- we would just cancel each other out.

 

[nismo-4]

I'm actually starting to believe that the term is AFC is a misnomer. Average guys can and do get girls.

The guys who can't get laid in a whorehouse are actually below average guys.

So the scale is.

Invisible
Average
DJ

Going from Average to DJ is a fairly simple process. Going from Invisible to Average is 1,000 times more difficult.

Guys just have to show their masculinity. Fake it till you make it.

 

[Alexander the Great]

Alright, not much time right now but as I skimmed through the new posts I noticed this:

Anyway, for the record, I'm seeing a WARPIG-FUG that's coming in from North Manitoba next week. She is crazy about me. If I can stand her appearance and smell, then maybe I'll see what I can do with her. I'd feel guilty about getting her hopes up if I'm not really in love with her though. Oh well, guess I'll decide when it comes. I will not take myself seriously about sexual invisibility if I do nothing with her though.

Luke, whatever your problem is, DO NOT WORSEN IT BY DEGRADING YOURSELF LIKE THIS. Don't get laid with a woman you find revolting because you want to solve your issue. Trust me, it'll not solve your issue, instead worsen it. It'll kill any sexual courage you had and you will feel disgusted that you disrespected yourself. It'll bring your self-esteem down. Trust me, it will.

DO. NOT. DO. THIS.

Plus, your attitude of feeling bad about getting her hopes up if she's in love with you and you not with her, is typical AFC-thinking. Yeah, you probably heard that before. Guess what? You don't have to protect women. They can look after themselves. A woman who thinks that after sex you're "together" or something like that? Her problem. Sex is sex. Nothing else. The best way to be "honourable" about it, if you really have to, is to make that clear before anything happens. Casually. Just not with this... woman you speak of. Forget about her. Send her back North!

Other than that, as is evident from your post and as you no doubt have heard on countless occassions as well, you are really over-analyzing it. Out of fear of grabbing your balls and taking a risk by getting out there and getting sexual with a girl you like and who likes you, you're really avoiding coming out of your comfort zone by studying everything related to sex. You're replacing your fear with intellectual distance. You're well on your way to becoming the sex-expert who has never had sex before. How's that for expertise?

It's also a sure-fire way to stay the way you are. No matter how you twist, turn or smash it apart in a particle accelerator, someday you're going to have to come out of your sexual cocoon and just get some. With an attractive girl.

You're too much in your head about it, picking it apart. For chrissakes Luke, it's not theoretical physics. It's just women and sex. It's no big deal. Once you get laid, you'll understand this and laugh at yourself as you are now.


Right, no more time to go into the rest. I'll try my best to give my opinion on the other matter you asked later. Just don't be sexual with someone you don't like in a sexual way. Don't. Don't be desperate. Honour and respect yourself please. If she likes you enough for some rough'n tumble, you'll feel much better if you resist her overtures if you don't like her that way. Much better. Please trust me on that one.

And please just stop debating about sexual invisibility. People are only sexually invisible because they make themselves invisible. They, you, hide that part out of fear. Face the fear, and let that hidden part out in the sun. Talking about it only goes so far and at this point, further debate isn't going to help one bit.

Get out of your head and into your body. Feel secure in yourself, before you do anything else. Self-esteem, like mothballs said. If you don't know how to get started with this, I suggest, strongly suggest seeking a therapist to assist you in accomplishing this task.

 

[Luke Skywalker]

Alright, not much time right now but as I skimmed through the new posts I noticed this:



Luke, whatever your problem is, DO NOT WORSEN IT BY DEGRADING YOURSELF LIKE THIS. Don't get laid with a woman you find revolting because you want to solve your issue. Trust me, it'll not solve your issue, instead worsen it. It'll kill any sexual courage you had and you will feel disgusted that you disrespected yourself. It'll bring your self-esteem down. Trust me, it will.

I saw her last night. She doesn`t appear as bad as I had portrayed her on here. First of all, she doesn`t smell awful. Secondly, her appearance seemed to have been exagerrated ugly in my mind. I wouldn`t say she`s a WARPIG-FUG anymore, but just a UG.

Izzy had made some posts on other threads dealing with beauty and attraction. I think I should review those first to provide some balance. Even if she is a bit UG, the fact that I`m getting a long (at least) so far, even though my feelings about her are so low that I feel I`m just getting a technical experience to satisfy base hungers more than something that means something really deep to me (almost asexual from my standpoint), is really good.

So, no I didn`t have sex with her. All I did was kiss her. She initiated a french kiss and made out with me. I was just looking at it as a technical experience. I felt spaced out afterwards. She gave me a $ 1000 cheque to pay for a stolen TV and suggested that we go travelling during the summer to Australia and Europe.

I`m sure kissing may open a doorway or something, but it`s certainly not the same as sex. I didn`t go that far, and after reading this, I`ll keep that in mind.

DO. NOT. DO. THIS.

Plus, your attitude of feeling bad about getting her hopes up if she's in love with you and you not with her, is typical AFC-thinking. Yeah, you probably heard that before. Guess what? You don't have to protect women. They can look after themselves. A woman who thinks that after sex you're "together" or something like that? Her problem. Sex is sex. Nothing else. The best way to be "honourable" about it, if you really have to, is to make that clear before anything happens. Casually. Just not with this... woman you speak of. Forget about her. Send her back North!

My mom is heavily invested in what is going on. She wouldn`t be pushing sex on me. She says she respects me and my mother`s opinion of her.

I don`t feel there is an agenda to have sex with her this week. I do see some elements of `woman`about her or feminine beauty. That`s why I think if you are hungry enough, or perhaps if you think like Izzi, then all women will have their own unique beauty, you just have to find out what exactly that beauty is.

Other than that, as is evident from your post and as you no doubt have heard on countless occassions as well, you are really over-analyzing it. Out of fear of grabbing your balls and taking a risk by getting out there and getting sexual with a girl you like and who likes you,


It's also a sure-fire way to stay the way you are. No matter how you twist, turn or smash it apart in a particle accelerator, someday you're going to have to come out of your sexual cocoon and just get some. With an attractive girl.

I`ve been burned by an attractive girl before. I think this is well documented back in 2006. Whatever happened has poisoned my views about attractive women in general. For example, if you are going after a hot girl, then chances are they have other guys that are chasing them too and they play games because they are full of themselves and feel they are doing you a favour by spending time with you. Or they are super-picky and unless you have allot of status or things to bring to the table, then there is always another `bigger better deal`somewhere else. I can`t deal with someone who is just full of themselves. I have never gotten a reasonable interest level with any attractive women to date that you can even think of going sexual. Usually it`s someone I`m not as attracted to, but still see enough feminine beauty for there to be `juice`.

I like to compare myself to Maxtro on here because he`s more in the same level as I am with normal girls. His experience with a normal girl was with a fat lady a few years ago. I`d like to know his imput of what he would do if he was in my shoes. Again, I`ll be reviewing Izzi`s posts about `beauty`and how `beauty`is to be defined.

However, I agree that being tied up to one woman, over anything, whether going out, a hug, a kiss, a french kiss, or sex, without trying out other woman is something I understand. Thanks for your well detailed and thoughtful advice and insight.

 

[Alexander the Great]

Luke, I can't even begin to state and analyze and explain all the things that are wrong with your situation and thinking, but I'm sure as hell going to try...

With "an attractive girl" I didn't mean to say what you just assumed: someone "attractive" according to the general standard. No, with "attractive" I meant someone attractive to you. And even though I agree with Izza that every woman has something that makes her special and beautiful and possibly attractive to you, don't force yourself to settle for someone because you feel that someone is worthy of appreciation and you're forcibly looking for that beauty.

You must find someone who appeals to you overall and then that special beauty will be an added bonus as you get to know her better. That's how it works, not by settling for someone you feel you can get and then try to find the good sides about such a person. That's scarcity and lonliness-thinking. AFC mentality at the core. Very bad and submissive of you.

Also, forget having been turned down by "an attractive girl before". That girl is not indicative of womankind, not even of attractive women. Only of a specific kind of women. Superficial women, if "super picky" and "playing games" is their thing. Plus, the very fact that you're afraid of such women (don't deny it) merely shows your subordinate level of thinking in relation to them, anyone, right now. Again, AFC.

And you know what? Even if attractive women turn you down who do not play games and who aren't super-picky, it's with a good reason: you are a 30+ year old who not only still lives with his parents, but whose mom and whose God determine the direction of his life. Healthy women, not just superficial, game-playing women, aren't really turned on by that. Let alone your lack of skills to deal with them. To them, you're probably just a little boy and nobody interesting who has something to add to their lives.

You must ask yourself: what value do I offer? That question may feel horribly calculative, but that's simply how it works. You need to offer value. Not in terms of money, a house, car, career or any material stuff, no. Value in terms of personality. Can you stand up to a woman? Can you handle her? How do you make her feel? Do you make her laugh? What emotions do you stirr in her? Value in personality, that's what it's about. Right now, others probably offer such value to you and you have nothing to offer in return. If it were the other way around, you'd not be interested either.

Sorry if that sounds harsh about your person, it's not intended as anything more than an observation and nothing personal.

Speaking of your mom, Luke... Your MOM? Your freaking MOM?! It's okay if one of your parents is one of your confidants at this age, but to this extent? Dude, that's really unhealhty, especially because she seems to dominate you with her perspective. Detach yourself from your mom in any way! Get friends of become self-reliant. Whatever you do, detach yourself! Her opinion of you and the things you do shouldn't have been mattering for at least 12 years now! Parents are to guide you to adulthood and maybe after that provide you with a non-invasive, alternate and more life-experienced perspective. It seems to me this is not the case with you and your mom. It seems to me that you're physically an adult but mentally still more like a dependant child. Do you realize this?

Luke, also after having read this other post of yours in which you announced leaving for a while until you had done something... right now you are not living your life. Your parents are/mom is. Your God is. Not you. You're a little puppy all grown up still in the nest, tossed about by what other people expect of you when instead you should be doing what YOU want. That's... unhealthy. The irony is, you think you're doing what YOU want, but what you want is too heavily influenced by sources OUTSIDE of you. You need to detach yourself from those sources before you can really know what YOU want. YOU, alone.

You are in need of therapy. Counseling. You are in an unhealthy situation. A situation that does not enable you to live an independant life, a.k.a. a life of your own. If that's what you want, hey, then by all means keep this up. But I don't think that's what you want. It's your own fear to get out of your comfort zone that's holding you back. Thus you've allowed an unhealthy situation to flourish. It's high time to end it and strike out on your own and make your own descisions.

Seriously. Get a therapist to help you realize yourself, or atleast make a start with it. Get a mentor to guide you to and through a healthy life for yourself for a while. Right now you're stuck in an unhealhty cycle. I can't stress that enough. Keep up what you're doing right now and you'll still be posting here when you're 40 years old and still none further than you are today. How much further do you want your post count to rise? To 10,000? All with more intellectually distant analyses about women, sex, relationships, your life, why you are where you are, your beliefs, your mom's opinions? All the while actually demonstrating how ignorant and misguided you actually are?

Luke, your persistence and belief in yourself and your situation is admirable but considering that your situation is grossly unhealhty, it is also very misplaced. You are a boy in a man's body and you are not a sovereign human by far.

Please seek help. Do yourself that favour.

 

[Luke Skywalker]

And even though I agree with Izza that every woman has something that makes her special and beautiful and possibly attractive to you, don't force yourself to settle for someone because you feel that someone is worthy of appreciation and you're forcibly looking for that beauty. .

Right, but as you`ve stated, if I don`t really have anything to offer to an attractive woman, then I think I have to seriously consider settling.

You must find someone who appeals to you overall and then that special beauty will be an added bonus as you get to know her better. That's how it works, not by settling for someone you feel you can get and then try to find the good sides about such a person. That's scarcity and lonliness-thinking. AFC mentality at the core. Very bad and submissive of you.

.

That would be being `realistic` if I don`t have anything to offer to a woman.
This leads to a submissive or subordinate feeling.

Maybe, dating someone, who, for whatever reason wants to please me will be helpful somewhere.

Also, forget having been turned down by "an attractive girl before". That girl is not indicative of womankind, not even of attractive women. Only of a specific kind of women. Superficial women, if "super picky" and "playing games" is their thing. Plus, the very fact that you're afraid of such women (don't deny it) merely shows your subordinate level of thinking in relation to them, anyone, right now. Again, AFC. .

No, it was only one woman. But again, if I don`t have anything to offer to a woman, then that would be a smoke-screen anyway. At least there is a ground to blame her.

And you know what? Even if attractive women turn you down who do not play games and who aren't super-picky, it's with a good reason: you are a 30+ year old who not only still lives with his parents, but whose mom and whose God determine the direction of his life. Healthy women, not just superficial, game-playing women, aren't really turned on by that. Let alone your lack of skills to deal with them. To them, you're probably just a little boy and nobody interesting who has something to add to their lives.


You must ask yourself: what value do I offer? That question may feel horribly calculative, but that's simply how it works. You need to offer value. Not in terms of money, a house, car, career or any material stuff, no. Value in terms of personality. Can you stand up to a woman? Can you handle her? How do you make her feel? Do you make her laugh? What emotions do you stirr in her? Value in personality, that's what it's about. Right now, others probably offer such value to you and you have nothing to offer in return. If it were the other way around, you'd not be interested either.

.

So, assuming this is correct, then I don`t see any reason not to go with any woman who is appearing nice or interested to me because according to that perspective I`m getting something for nothing. So if a woman sees something in me or is just interested in me then she should be pursued as long as she`s not ad-worshipper.

Luke, also after having read this other post of yours in which you announced leaving for a while until you had done something... right now you are not living your life. Your parents are/mom is. Your God is. Not you. You're a little puppy all grown up still in the nest, tossed about by what other people expect of you when instead you should be doing what YOU want. That's... unhealthy. The irony is, you think you're doing what YOU want, but what you want is too heavily influenced by sources OUTSIDE of you. You need to detach yourself from those sources before you can really know what YOU want. YOU, alone.

You are in need of therapy. Counseling. You are in an unhealthy situation. A situation that does not enable you to live an independant life, a.k.a. a life of your own. If that's what you want, hey, then by all means keep this up. But I don't think that's what you want. It's your own fear to get out of your comfort zone that's holding you back. Thus you've allowed an unhealthy situation to flourish. It's high time to end it and strike out on your own and make your own descisions.

Seriously. Get a therapist to help you realize yourself, or atleast make a start with it. Get a mentor to guide you to and through a healthy life for yourself for a while. Right now you're stuck in an unhealhty cycle. I can't stress that enough. Keep up what you're doing right now and you'll still be posting here when you're 40 years old and still none further than you are today. How much further do you want your post count to rise? To 10,000? All with more intellectually distant analyses about women, sex, relationships, your life, why you are where you are, your beliefs, your mom's opinions? All the while actually demonstrating how ignorant and misguided you actually are?

Luke, your persistence and belief in yourself and your situation is admirable but considering that your situation is grossly unhealhty, it is also very misplaced. You are a boy in a man's body and you are not a sovereign human by far.

Please seek help. Do yourself that favour.

I don`t think so. Problems are all about money. If you have money you can move out or even pay for therapy.

I think some of the subordinate thinking or whatever is merely the economic realities that I`m economically dependent because I just haven`t had any luck finding a `real`job or making it in my current Real-Estate profession. Until that is settled, along with my inexperience with women as a whole, I don`t think any therapy or really going to be useful.

This is not to say I`m dirt poor, but I`m not easily making lots of money, so I have to manage with what I have and don`t think I`m ready to live out in the world and pay a rent, etc...

I thought going out with this girl is therapy. Anyway I`m going to see her again. This time my mom will be coming with me to see her too. She`s also interested in meeting her.

 

[Alexander the Great]

Luke, right now, the only smoke screens in your life are made by you and your self-defeating excuses. With the blame you put on others, you merely demonstrate your denial of self-responsibility.

YOU are the creator of everything in your life, even luck. No one else is. Remember that.

Get help. Don't make excuses that you have no money for it, it's just a veiled means of saying you don't want to. Another smoke screen.

Don't take your mom on a date. Think for yourself for a change. That's all it takes to start detaching yourself. Moving out is just step two or three.

Just get professional help. With your 2,000+ posts of this nature, you are beyond the help and scope of this forum.

All the best.




Sexual invisiblity happens only to those who hide themselves.

 

[Alle_Gory]

Problems are all about money. If you have money you can move out or even pay for therapy.

No amount of money in the world can fix a bad attitude and an unwillingness to change for the better.

If you had money, you would be just as miserable except you would have a nice car and house.


So tell me Luke. If you're not going to do anything that this site teaches, why are you here? This is the 4th time I am asking you this question you coward.

This time my mom will be coming with me to see her too. She`s also interested in meeting her.

Spoiler: Your mom won't like her for some strange reason and she doesn't approve. You will say 'yes mother' and drop the girl.

 

[The Logical Player]

good news: Luke will lose his virginity to his mom.

bad news: Luke will have a son and a new brother, who will troll these forums for years to come after Luke is gone

 

[Alle_Gory]

good news: Luke will lose his virginity to his mom.

bad news: Luke will have a son and a new brother, who will troll these forums for years to come after Luke is gone

Good news: Judging by Luke's mental handicap, the son and new brother probably won't be able to type.

 

[Maxtro]

good news: Luke will lose his virginity to his mom.

bad news: Luke will have a son and a new brother, who will troll these forums for years to come after Luke is gone

I almost spat out my cereal :crackup:

 

[The Logical Player]

I almost spat out my cereal :crackup:

 Maxtro (and all others who are having major struggles with women), doesn't it motivate you and make you feel better to see clowns like Luke posting this crap? I mean does it not encourage you to be a better man and to stay as far away from being like Luke (and ElStud) as humanly possible?? I hope you are using this as motivation Maxtro, because we both know that YOU want to be headed in the complete opposite direction of where Luke is headed

 

[Maxtro]

Honestly I don't like to look down on people. Even though some of their posts are quite embarrassing.

I know where I want to go and I'm taking steps to make sure I'm on that path.

As for Luke. Alexander the Great is correct. You should look into getting some psychological help. I know money is an issue for you so look into some free or community clinics that can offer low cost counseling.

Also you need to move out of your parents house. I know it's hard in these time but you need to get a decent job. Find yourself a tiny studio or something, or get some roommates but you need to move out.

Hell you could try going to college to get some new skills. Get some grants and student loans and you should be set for a couple of years.

The most important thing is that you have to change your environment. Do you want to be 40 and still living at your parents home?

 

[mothballs]

**** I thought I was in bad shape avoiding women for the last 9 years... I've come to realize that I didn't lose anything in that time... just gained respect for myself and my priorities. All I did to get back on track was set my sights on a girl I liked and start taking her out... 1st date = kiss good night, 2nd date = makeout session, 3rd date = several makeout sessions and ended up with shirts off (and her bra) and on the bed... 4th date who knows.

 

[Luke Skywalker]

Great news !!! My mom likes the girl. We all went to a buffet restaurant. My mom thinks this girl is cool and is even giving me tips and suggestions to be a better gentlement around her after critiquing the date. (i.e. opening car doors, thanking her for her gifts and presents). My mom noticed I'm a bit distant, but I explained that she was giving me mixed messages about her, but I'm now glad she likes her. I'm seeing her again tommorow under my mom's blessing now.

 

[Maxtro]

So if your mom didn't like her, would you have to stop seeing the girl?

Think about what that means for a bit.

 

[nightcrawler]

Luke what do you look like? I seriously have a hard time believing men can get past the page of 21 and still be virgins.

 

[The Logical Player]

Great news !!! My mom likes the girl. We all went to a buffet restaurant. My mom thinks this girl is cool and is even giving me tips and suggestions to be a better gentlement around her after critiquing the date. (i.e. opening car doors, thanking her for her gifts and presents). My mom noticed I'm a bit distant, but I explained that she was giving me mixed messages about her, but I'm now glad she likes her. I'm seeing her again tommorow under my mom's blessing now.

JESUS ****ING CHRIST you idiotic nutty virgin!!!

I want everyone to notice that Luke DOES NOT TAKE ANYONE's ADVICE, and just does as he pleases, like the total nutjob that he is

people like Luke are beyond help

abort thread