Serious help. Did I overreact? What would you have done DJs?

[Chow Mein]

Makes total sense what you are saying. She has en excellent relationship with her dad now but her dad was abusive towards the mom, so I guess she grew up seeing that.

She was the one that uploaded stuff on IG, I did not because my IG is for my profession and I don't mix both, but you are right, I highly invested in her.

Maybe as an experiment I will go cold this Friday and let her know it's completely over and I am done without showing much emotion. What do you think of that for maybe getting some of this nice pvssy down the road? I am not interested in a relationship anymore, that's for sure. But I like to keep my trained women for longer pleasure (sigh, I know).

I don't want to propose any FBW arrangement to her because that would imply I need her and would show scarcity. Like I am weak for her beauty.

Holy crap. All the things you start to think for some nice azz, even having the chance of having other azz. I am just surprised with myself here. Fell for this one hard.

What line of work are you in if you use IG for your profession?

 

[Solomon]

And she was the 'victim', right? Did she ever take responsibility and accountability for staying for years in an abusive relationship?

This is one of the reasons I started taking women's story with a grain of salt, every woman has a "woe it's me story" but once you start dealing with said women you learn pretty quickly why things go left.

I try to show empathy but personally, if I just met a woman I'm paying more attention to her actions than words, a lot of women can spin a good tale and after a while you become numb to hearing the same b.s. especially once their true colors show

 

[Divorced w 3]

The right move is walk away. The odds of her being mature and composed enough to not put you and the relationship through this are slim, but I would remiss if I didn’t say I’ve dealt with this before and have worked through it.

You could try letting her know that social media is not something you believe in, and do a mutual deletion of your profiles, which honestly I think is the best whether or not you and her are together.

I don’t think that you should have to socialize with, or otherwise be involved with, your partner’s exes. Of course, there is always an exception, but I think 9/10 times it should be over with and not expected to recur or be allowed in the future.

 

[upcoming_DJ]

Hi everyone. Your thoughts on this will be greatly appreciate it:

My gf or exgf, met 1 year ago on Bumble. We wa ited 6 months to be official (Inwas spinning plates) and it was one of the best relationships I ever had with a chick.

She came from a 4 year relationship with a guy who in her words "treated her terribly".

The bagagge that she had with this guy included: 2 abortions, verbal abuse, rape while she was under the influence several times and cheating.

Now to the story. 1 month ago, we had an argument about something trivial and she took down our instagram highlights that she had of us. That made me curious and I was checking her insta and saw some pictures where she was with her ex and another friend at a festival from a couple of years ago and another one where her leg and another leg from a man where showing like seeing a mountain.

I asked her who that was and she said her ex. I told her that made me uncomfortable due to the horror stories she told me about him and due to the fact that she removed ours for a little argument and not his. She said it was part of the past but deleted them and I thanked her. I don't have any pictures of my ex hanging around my house or my instagram out of respect and she understood that.

After that, she told me that I was following my ex on insta and that made her uncomfortable too because for her following is like there a bridge of communication and connection. I followed my ex before meeting her and I absolutely did not talk to my ex at all but I completely understood and unfollowed out of respect. It's good to know that I did not have horror stories to tell about my ex, it just did not work out.

2 weeks later, I can't explain to you but there was an inside voice to tell me to check her followers. I saw that she and her ex re added each other on instagram. Both have private accounts so you have to go to the process of requesting and accepting. I called her out on it and she apologized and said she ****ed up but it was out of curiosity and that he added her first.

That broke my trust. I am not the guy that goes checking your followers and likes but she started that game and it just woke something in me to check.

I told her I don't understand thid after the talked we had 2 weeks ago and that's shady because she did not even mention it to me to see how I would feel and it felt like a double standard and that I would not feel curiosity for someone that hurt me so much in the past and would not risk throwing away everything I had with her for that.

We had plans of living together.

I dumped her, she is begging. Currently she is in a trip with her family and asked me to take these weeks to re think.

My trust is broken, I love her and she was really good to me but I cant just forget that. What would you do?

Ps: cex is great and she does every freaky thing I like. Dhring these weeks she called and I ignored. She texted me that she misses me a lot and she loves me,.I ignored again. Now she disappeared but will come back in 4 days.

I feel stupid

OP let me share my experience with a girl who from the onset of a relationship we had, expressed how much of an ******* her ex was to her. The way she expressed herself, I could feel it still pained her up until that very same day. She said she was in the hospital dying, and the dude did not visit her .... and dismissed her news of being in the hospital.

fast forward a couple months later after I "committed" and spent thousands of dollars on trips and eating lavish (not because of her, that's my lifestyle and what I enjoy), a trip to Mexico City, and a trip to Argentina, my GUT told me something was definitely off.

After snooping through her phone, my GUT was right. guess what? she was on a snapchat streak with an account. i confronted her, she called BS. little while after, she came to 'confess'. she says it was her ex, and that he reached out first (i've seen a lot of that shared on here) and that she was merely being polite. HAAAAAA

man, if I knew then what I know now....I would have left her in Mexico City alone.

it is NOT worth the trouble. for content: I ended up slapping this girl so hard, that after, I was walking to my vehicle and fell on my knees and went backwards, tearing both of my quad tendons. I could not walk for 8 months. It was like God sent instant karma and a serious wake up call.

that was it for me. she insisted on staying around until eventually she got the message. I had to threaten her that she would get hurt, for her to stay away. even so she was chasing via email and text.

 

[upcoming_DJ]

OP let me share my experience with a girl who from the onset of a relationship we had, expressed how much of an ******* her ex was to her. The way she expressed herself, I could feel it still pained her up until that very same day. She said she was in the hospital dying, and the dude did not visit her .... and dismissed her news of being in the hospital.

fast forward a couple months later after I "committed" and spent thousands of dollars on trips and eating lavish (not because of her, that's my lifestyle and what I enjoy), a trip to Mexico City, and a trip to Argentina, my GUT told me something was definitely off.

After snooping through her phone, my GUT was right. guess what? she was on a snapchat streak with an account. i confronted her, she called BS. little while after, she came to 'confess'. she says it was her ex, and that he reached out first (i've seen a lot of that shared on here) and that she was merely being polite. HAAAAAA

man, if I knew then what I know now....I would have left her in Mexico City alone.

it is NOT worth the trouble. for content: I ended up slapping this girl so hard, that after, I was walking to my vehicle and fell on my knees and went backwards, tearing both of my quad tendons. I could not walk for 8 months. It was like God sent instant karma and a serious wake up call.

that was it for me. she insisted on staying around until eventually she got the message. I had to threaten her that she would get hurt, for her to stay away. even so she was chasing via email and text.

ps - it was after this that I've been going through red pill rage. I am more out of it than I was in it at the beginning, but still stings.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

OP let me share my experience with a girl who from the onset of a relationship we had, expressed how much of an ******* her ex was to her. The way she expressed herself, I could feel it still pained her up until that very same day. She said she was in the hospital dying, and the dude did not visit her .... and dismissed her news of being in the hospital.

fast forward a couple months later after I "committed" and spent thousands of dollars on trips and eating lavish (not because of her, that's my lifestyle and what I enjoy), a trip to Mexico City, and a trip to Argentina, my GUT told me something was definitely off.

After snooping through her phone, my GUT was right. guess what? she was on a snapchat streak with an account. i confronted her, she called BS. little while after, she came to 'confess'. she says it was her ex, and that he reached out first (i've seen a lot of that shared on here) and that she was merely being polite. HAAAAAA

man, if I knew then what I know now....I would have left her in Mexico City alone.

it is NOT worth the trouble. for content: I ended up slapping this girl so hard, that after, I was walking to my vehicle and fell on my knees and went backwards, tearing both of my quad tendons. I could not walk for 8 months. It was like God sent instant karma and a serious wake up call.

that was it for me. she insisted on staying around until eventually she got the message. I had to threaten her that she would get hurt, for her to stay away. even so she was chasing via email and text.

Seems like you have a pattern of dating the same women over and over again based on your other thread.

 

[upcoming_DJ]

Seems like you have a pattern of dating the same women over and over again based on your other thread.

I do, and I am aware of that. Something I'm working on. If you know where I'm coming from, and how far I've come from there...you'd understand. I was a terrible CHUMP, no shame in admitting.

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

This is one of the reasons I started taking women's story with a grain of salt, every woman has a "woe it's me story" but once you start dealing with said women you learn pretty quickly why things go left.

Another thing is that women who have an abusive past show bad judgment.
They didn't get kidnapped by an abusive man. These women fall for a 'bad/exciting' or 'just-like-my-abusive-daddy' man, then find out that many of these men actively hate women and will try to destroy her.
So these women manage to get out by the skin of their teeth and instead of assuming some responsibility/accountability for voluntarily choosing their abuser, they project their abuse guilt into blaming everything on the type of men who take that projection seriously and allow themselves to feel guilty over victimising women.

 

[upcoming_DJ]

Another thing is that women who have an abusive past show bad judgment.
They didn't get kidnapped by an abusive man. These women fall for a 'bad/exciting' or 'just-like-my-abusive-daddy' man, then find out that many of these men actively hate women and will try to destroy her.
So these women manage to get out by the skin of their teeth and instead of assuming some responsibility/accountability for voluntarily choosing their abuser, they project their abuse guilt into blaming everything on the type of men who take that projection seriously and allow themselves to feel guilty over victimising women.

yup, and sabotage so many other things in her life, not only romantic/sexual relationships.

 

[holycrapman]

Holy crap guys. Thanks for all your answers. All I can say is that breaking up with a women is the biggest aphrodisiac for them, seriously.

I haven't taken her back and probably I will not take her back as a gf, however, let me tell you this woman has done and performed the freakiest of the freakiest things ever. Chasing after me 100% and it feels fair.

The point is that I still cannot forget what happened and it's dangerous sometimes because they do their mental gymnastics to try to convince you it was nothing. You gotta be careful with what you believe in and your frame.

Right now I am just relaxing, dedicating most of my time to my job and purpose and creating new leads to plate.

It's tough though when you decide to love these women. Detachment is key from what I am experiencing here.

 

[holycrapman]

OP let me share my experience with a girl who from the onset of a relationship we had, expressed how much of an ******* her ex was to her. The way she expressed herself, I could feel it still pained her up until that very same day. She said she was in the hospital dying, and the dude did not visit her .... and dismissed her news of being in the hospital.

fast forward a couple months later after I "committed" and spent thousands of dollars on trips and eating lavish (not because of her, that's my lifestyle and what I enjoy), a trip to Mexico City, and a trip to Argentina, my GUT told me something was definitely off.

After snooping through her phone, my GUT was right. guess what? she was on a snapchat streak with an account. i confronted her, she called BS. little while after, she came to 'confess'. she says it was her ex, and that he reached out first (i've seen a lot of that shared on here) and that she was merely being polite. HAAAAAA

man, if I knew then what I know now....I would have left her in Mexico City alone.

it is NOT worth the trouble. for content: I ended up slapping this girl so hard, that after, I was walking to my vehicle and fell on my knees and went backwards, tearing both of my quad tendons. I could not walk for 8 months. It was like God sent instant karma and a serious wake up call.

that was it for me. she insisted on staying around until eventually she got the message. I had to threaten her that she would get hurt, for her to stay away. even so she was chasing via email and text.

Wow what a story man. I am so thankful for having this gut instinct. For real.

I'm in my 30's and I have never hit a woman (outside ****). I get you, sometimes they get the best of you and it's a lesson to control our temper and emotions.

 

[holycrapman]

This is one of the reasons I started taking women's story with a grain of salt, every woman has a "woe it's me story" but once you start dealing with said women you learn pretty quickly why things go left.

I try to show empathy but personally, if I just met a woman I'm paying more attention to her actions than words, a lot of women can spin a good tale and after a while you become numb to hearing the same b.s. especially once their true colors show

I get you. It was a shame with this one because her behavior was absolutely good. For real, something you don't see a lot these days. But that stuff is dangerous because it can make you overlook the facts

 

[holycrapman]

The right move is walk away. The odds of her being mature and composed enough to not put you and the relationship through this are slim, but I would remiss if I didn’t say I’ve dealt with this before and have worked through it.

You could try letting her know that social media is not something you believe in, and do a mutual deletion of your profiles, which honestly I think is the best whether or not you and her are together.

I don’t think that you should have to socialize with, or otherwise be involved with, your partner’s exes. Of course, there is always an exception, but I think 9/10 times it should be over with and not expected to recur or be allowed in the future.

Were you paranoid afterwards? It's the hiding part that makes it very difficult for me. What were your results when you worked through it?

 

[Bokanovsky]

Hi everyone. Your thoughts on this will be greatly appreciate it:

My gf or exgf, met 1 year ago on Bumble. We wa ited 6 months to be official (Inwas spinning plates) and it was one of the best relationships I ever had with a chick.

She came from a 4 year relationship with a guy who in her words "treated her terribly".

That should have been your first red flag. A woman complaining about being treated terribly by her ex is kind of like a teenager saying that his parents are jerks.

That fact act she was purportedly in a four year relationship with a cruel and abusive man means one of two things:

1. She is lying about the abuse (a manipulation technique).
2. She is suffering form what used to be called the "battered wife syndrome". Basically, she is addicted to absue and is incapable of being happy in a normal, non-abusive relationship.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Holy crap guys. Thanks for all your answers. All I can say is that breaking up with a women is the biggest aphrodisiac for them, seriously.

I haven't taken her back and probably I will not take her back as a gf, however, let me tell you this woman has done and performed the freakiest of the freakiest things ever. Chasing after me 100% and it feels fair.

The point is that I still cannot forget what happened and it's dangerous sometimes because they do their mental gymnastics to try to convince you it was nothing. You gotta be careful with what you believe in and your frame.

Right now I am just relaxing, dedicating most of my time to my job and purpose and creating new leads to plate.

It's tough though when you decide to love these women. Detachment is key from what I am experiencing here.

Yes, that's how these type of broken women get men to stay with them and all their craziness, by being fire in the bedroom.

It causes many guys to willingly ignore giant red flags.

 

[holycrapman]

Yes, that's how these type of broken women get men to stay with them and all their craziness, by being fire in the bedroom.

It causes many guys to willingly ignore giant red flags.

I remember a girl I had one time that wanted me to beat the crap out of her in the bedroom to punish her acknowledged bad behavior instead of just changing it

They are just nuts

 

[BackInTheGame78]

I remember a girl I had one time that wanted me to beat the crap out of her in the bedroom to punish her acknowledged bad behavior instead of just changing it

They are just nuts

I had one that wanted me to fvck her in the ass so I was going to town and pounding her up the ass and then she suddenly turned around and grabbed my c0ck and swallowed it and started sucking me off...

I found it disgusting but hot at the same time...until she tried to kiss me after

 

[Divorced w 3]

Were you paranoid afterwards? It's the hiding part that makes it very difficult for me. What were your results when you worked through it?

I misread some of this. If I understand properly, she was posing for a photo with her ex boyfriend while you were dating exclusively. I have never been cheated on.

You may call this paranoia or you may want to use a different, slightly nuanced word that respects your feelings and reasonable intuition / judgment.

I am really not a good candidate for advice here, having never been through it.

I will tell you one thing that I do know to be true: handling this with patience, calmness, seeking help, not shooting first and asking later, is always to one’s credit. You’re miles ahead of a lot of folks, on that, me included.

 

[holycrapman]

I misread some of this. If I understand properly, she was posing for a photo with her ex boyfriend while you were dating exclusively. I have never been cheated on.

You may call this paranoia or you may want to use a different, slightly nuanced word that respects your feelings and reasonable intuition / judgment.

I am really not a good candidate for advice here, having never been through it.

I will tell you one thing that I do know to be true: handling this with patience, calmness, seeking help, not shooting first and asking later, is always to one’s credit. You’re miles ahead of a lot of folks, on that, me included.

Thank you. The issue was not the picture. It was uncomfortable though. The issue is she re added her "abusive ex" after telling me 2 weeks prior that she felt uncomfortable that I was following my ex (that I followed before meeting her and with which I did not have such a toxic past with). So I unfollowed my ex out of respect and then I realize that 2 weeks after that convo, she and her ex re followed each other and she did not tell me anything. I don't know if they texted or not. I did not check the phone. She deleted and blocked him right away, said it was out of "curiosity", ackowledged her mistake and apologized. But for me the damaged was done, you know?

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Thank you. The issue was not the picture. It was uncomfortable though. The issue is she re added her "abusive ex" after telling me 2 weeks prior that she felt uncomfortable that I was following my ex (that I followed before meeting her and with which I did not have such a toxic past with). So I unfollowed my ex out of respect and then I realize that 2 weeks after that convo, she and her ex re followed each other and she did not tell me anything. I don't know if they texted or not. I did not check the phone. She deleted and blocked him right away, said it was out of "curiosity", ackowledged her mistake and apologized. But for me the damaged was done, you know?

Moral of the story and life lesson?

Don't give women roles and status in your life they don't qualify for.

She didn't qualify for anything other than target practice while you looked for someone that was more suitable long-term.

You decided to get into an LTR with a woman who you knew early on didn't qualify for that. Or at least SHOULDN'T have qualified of you are screening properly.

Essentially you wasted multiple years of your life you'll never get back on a woman that could never be what you wanted her to be and you knew that.