bukowski_merit said:
Ok, I don't want to seem like another shark who smells blood (which is what a lot of this thread seems like since the 2nd page). But I took about 30 minutes to read through more posts on this girl, and I have to say - what I found is not impressive.
Dont feel that way. By all means, I encourage others to make their own assessments, even if they are not correct. That being said....your post below was the most intelligent response on this thread and I will enjoy responding to some of your points. Ill go into detail.
- Her fishing for compliments and sulking all night when she doesn't get them.
- The crying when reaching a frustrating peak in arguments with you.
- Her constantly expressing her fear of losing you.
- Her temper tantrums.
- You saying she constantly tests you.
- Her approval seeking behavior.
- Clingy behavior.
These things are not what I'd consider high quality. These are signs of low self-esteem. And I'm sure you don't post every time she acts up, so how many more examples of these things have happened over the last few months?
-Fishing for compliments is going to happen when the man is the higher value of the two. We preach that we should aim to be the higher value in the relationship and the "one who cares less". Hoping to receive compliments is part of normal female behavior to this. She is trying to validate herself.
-Crying = Emotional response. If youve never had a woman cry because of her emotions or feelings.....get your girlfriend drunk sometime.
-Fear of losing me, again is related to me being higher value. A good thing in a relationship. Its better than me constantly worrying about losing her, which is what the majority of men do.
-Constant temper tantrums is an over statement.
-The more "alpha" you are....the more sh1t tests you will receive. Basic 101 evolutionary psychology. She has to "make sure" she is really dating an "alpha".
-Approval seeking = same as above.
-Clingy behavior. I dont think its overboard with her. As ive said previously...a girlfriend who is a LITTLE clingy is a good thing.
You just dont see things the same way as me then, if these are beyond doubt "low quality" to you. Now even though you are entitled to your own set of standards....I just think they may not be appropriate standards. Its like the guys on here who want a woman who's had no more than 5 sexual partners. I believe you cant have a high quality woman who recognizes the man as the one with more value....and still be devoid of the approval seeking behavior. I think that kind of behavior is actually good. If you dont like it....your only option is to be in a relationship where the woman believes herself to be the one with higher value. I just see that as being detrimental. A pure balanced relationship 50/50 is practically impossible.
Does this mean you should dump her? Downgrade her? Think less of her? Probably not that extreme; and it doesn't matter since you've already made it abundantly clear that you could care less what other posters think. You seem to handle her ok. And for the modern woman, a lot of this behavior is unfortunately normal. I just wouldn't be putting any bets on this woman being "the one." Or proclaiming her to be some rare prize you've found.
This point has been misinterpreted. I was not trying to proclaim her as the some glorious prize or put her on a pedestal. She did a simple kind act the other day and I bet the majority of men on here settle for women who do no such things. Just wanted to draw a contrast. Never settle for sh1tty women! Always be screening. When women go out of there way to do things for no reason OTHER TO MAKE YOU HAPPY....thats high quality and a green flag. Period. This simply is not up for discussion.
The common trend in your threads about her are: She acts bratty, b!tchy, or in some other way low-self esteem. And your story ends with you being the hero and solving the problem and giving a little life lesson to readers. You're normally praised for this, but that's because people are normally focusing on how you handled the situation; not... her specific actions or her quality. And yes, I understand you saying that you mostly post about her when she 'sh!t tests' you, but her behavior goes beyond "occasional".
Its really not beyond "occasional". I dont know the exact number but Ive created maybe 3 threads on the "bad" aspects while making about 2 on the "good". Ive been dating her 7 months exclusively and 2 non-exclusively before that. If you want I can come on here and post a good story every week just to "brag"....but I have a feeling that wont be a big hit lol. I post to help men with the "troubling parts" of a relationship. Every relationship has them. The "good" stuff is easy to sit back and enjoy. The "bad" stuff....not so much.