Pug's 100 approach journal

[Mr. Delicious]

Originally posted by SageOFAllenAge
Yes he does ..

My conscience has been hounding me to do cold approaches recently

ive never done a cold approach & Im finding it difficult to find a HB that is by herself where should i look?

Also If i see a HB by herself she is on the move (the streets or the college hallway) I find it weird stopping her

Any input

I think Borders is where its at. Its apparently the new mecca of chicks by themselves

 

[Ever onward]

I think Borders is where its at. Its apparently the new mecca of chicks by themselves

I live in a medium sized town (about 30,000 people) so unfortunately no borders around here. I have been to one before and they are ideal for meeting fresh women everyday.

My conscience has been hounding me to do cold approaches recently

ive never done a cold approach & Im finding it difficult to find a HB that is by herself where should i look?

Also If i see a HB by herself she is on the move (the streets or the college hallway) I find it weird stopping her

The weird feeling your getting is the ONLY thing stopping you from meeting women. Trust me, once you get past that limiting belief about yourself you will feel powerful. Your own limiting beliefs are the greatest obstacle you will ever face.

 

[Slickster]

(Bear with me here theres a lesson in all this)

Have you ever played poker?

If you have, you may have heard of this strategy.

When you are involved in a hand it doesn't matter if you have the best hand or not. When the action comes to you, you will have some choices. These choices are usually as follows...

1. Fold - Somebody has bet and you are sure they have you
beat so you throw your hand away and save your $$$.

2. Call - If somebody has already bet you match that bet. Then
you turn over your cards and hopefully you have the
hand.

3. Raise - Whether somebody has bet before you or not. You
make the initial bet or re-raise someone elses bet.
Now the action is back to them. They have to decide
whether they will call your raise OR they fold.

If you choose to Fold you've lost the hand.

If you choose to Call the only way you can win the hand is by having the best cards.

If you choose to Raise you can win the hand in two ways. You have the best hand OR you force the other guy to fold.

So a good strategy in Poker is to frequently Raise and give yourself TWO chances to win the hand.



Now how does all this relate to approaching chicks and getting numbers you ask?

By immediately asking a stranger if she is single you are effectively giving yourself only ONE way to suceed. They are choosing whether they want to continue meet you based solely on your looks. That's it. Thats the only chance you are giving yourself.

Whether she's single or not is irrelevant. She's not under oath to tell you the truth and I bet more than half of the women you approach will lie to you about having a boyfriend just to get rid of you. Sorry but that's the truth. Unless you are seriously hot most chicks are going to blow you off because you are a stranger.

I've read some of the responses and I know you are trying to just get over your fears of approaching and the numbers are just icing to you. That is GREAT dude! Good work. But why not give yourself MULTIPLE ways to succeed in all these approaches. Hell you are going thru all the pressure and work to do 100 approaches and you are selling yourself short by using the "Are you single approach?"

By SLIGHTLY modifying your opener you can effectively double your success rate. You will be learning twice as fast and not selling yourself short like you have been.

I'm going to give you a few examples to try. They have been field tested personally and they work. They require no more balls than approach you are currently using and I guarantee you will be getting more positive results.

You like going to work at the bookstore Funny that's my favorite too. Browse the store looking for extremely funny book titles. There are tons. The cornier and stupider the better. One of my favorites is a popular childrens book these days. Its called "Walter the Farting Dog". Trust me its there.

Some others,
"Childrens Guide to Hitchhiking"
"Kathy was so bad her Mom stopped loving her"
"Curious George and the High Voltage Fence"
"Getting Rich Quickly" by Robin Banks.
etc.

Once you start looking you'll be amazed at what kind of crazy stuff gets published and you'll be busting a gut too. Which is good because it puts you in a relaxed fun state of mind which is perfect.

Okay, spot your target and approach.

You: Excuse me
Her: Hi
You: Hi, I need an educated opinion on something (Note the sly compliment. She's already starting to like you.)
Her: Sure!
You: Would you recommend this book? (With a shyt eating grin of course)

Now here's where it gets a little freestyle depending on her reaction. If you've chosen a really funny book title she will undoubtedly laugh and you should laugh along. Most times she will play along and ask you something like, "You know it depends if you're looking for an intellectual read." or something like that.

If its a positive response you could even slip in another compliment like "You've got a good sense of humor."

If its a negative response or she just doesn't get it then you may have to ask yourself why bother. Maybe she's having a bad day. Maybe she's stupid. Maybe her dog died. Maybe she's just a flippin' beatch. Remember there's no harm in trying to brighten someone's day.

Either way you continue.

"Actually, I just noticed you from over there and was interested in meeting you." Introduce yourself and get her name. Remember her name!

Now if you want to cut it short and just ask for her number right then go for it. You probably have a good chance to keep some convo going though so keep it going.

When you do ask for her number do like this,

"It was great meeting you _____. Why don't you give me your number and we can chat some more sometime?"

If she agrees. Great. Tell her you're going to wait on that book until it goes on sale or something like that and then split. Smile and say talk to you soon.

If she says no or tells you she has a boyfriend you respond with another crack and a smile to show that you aren't the least bit discouraged and you were just happy to meet her.

Some "I have a boyfriend responses":

"Really that's great. I have a girlfriend maybe we should hook them up."

"Oh well that's great but actually I was more interested in you."

"That's great. Does he make you laugh? Good" (this one might make her wonder why she's with boring ol' whathisname when she could be with a fun guy like you)

No matter what you say "Nice meeting you ______. Maybe I'll see you around sometime."

Then you split.

Being direct is great. Cuts thru the crap and there's no shame in that.

I just think you could stand to make them laugh and smile a little before you go for the numbers. Give yourself more chances to succeed. Let them see you and your fun personality and how you can make them laugh.

Good luck Pug.

Cheers.

 

[Pugsley_f5]

Thats good stuff bro....I like that funny book title deal and I might actually use that...


How does this sound to you......switch it up a little bit from what you did


Me: Hey how are you doing?
Her: Good
Me: Hey, you mind if I ask you a question?
Her: Sure
Me: Are you single?
Her: Yes or no
Me: Well in that case, I need your opinion on an intellegint read?
Her: Sure
Me: Show her "Walter the farting dog"


and then take it from there, I think that flows well cause she may think you were asking her if she was single or not to get her number, but then you say, "well in that case, I need..." that will throw her off gaurd and make her think her suspicions about you were wrong and why you were asking......and her gaurd will go DOWN cause of it......


I think doing it like above will accomplish three things, it will establish you as the one in control and will make you look incredibly confident, secondly it will make you look incredibly funny (the top two things women love IMO), and thirdly her gaurd will be down as soon as you do that "well in that case I need ...." cause she realizes that you weren't asking you that to pick her up.....

Three birds with one stone I think let me know what you think....


Pugs

 

[Pugsley_f5]

Day 6 Approaches 15+16

Hey fellas, I had a good night last night, I went out after work to a mall in the town where I work at but 30 miles away from where I usually do my contacting.....I went to a Books a Million in there, the pickings were scarce


I saw one blonde chick sitting down on a bench reading a magazine with her head down, nice body looked like she could be a 7-7.5, after about 30 secs of pausing, I walked past her and she looked up at me heres how the convo went....


Me: Hey how are you doing?
Her: Good (she looked at me and she was a 6 UGh, good but not very good and she had these weird ass blue fashion contacts in here eyes that looked weird)
Me: Hey do you mind if I ask you a question?
Her: Looked at me with a deer in the headlights looks for a few secs and then I repeated myself and she said "Yes"
Me: "Are you single?"
Her: "Yes I am"
Me: "Man with that look on your face a second ago, you would have thought I asked you to rob a bank for me" (thanks romeo)
Her: She let out a big laugh
Me: Well in that case me name is Chris
Her: My name is Tasha
Me: Nice meeting you Tasha
Me: I was just about to head out, why don't you give me your number and I'll give you a call sometime.
Her: She paused and seemed nervous and then started telling me her number out loud.
Me: "Hold on a sec let me get a pen and something to write one"
I gave her a Cologne tester strip I just got at the store and she wrote her number on it.

Me: Then I said, it was good meeting you, maybe i'll give you a call sometime and she said bye.

I'll never call her, but I did get a number


I added a little of Romeo99 C+F in there and it worked.
Good stuff


The second approach was made at the Barnes and Nobles I usually go to the night was wrapping up, no chicks around.....I saw a cute Dirty Blonde Short Haired chick out in the open at one of the tables and I started to act like I was looking at stuff down the walkway from her, she started walking my way and when she passed me I said "Hey how are you doing"

Her: I'm doing really good (all smiley and bubley)
After saying that she started to walk again and I said

Me: Do you mind if I ask you a question?
Her: Sure
Me: Are you single?
Her: No I have a BF (right then her phone began ringing and she said excuse me mid sentence)

well Apparently it was something serious from listening to her...as luck would have it when I was leaving she was just ringing up her stuff and she ended up right in front of me going out the door, and I said

Me: Sounded like it was something serious on the phone
Her: Yeh My blah blah blah blah
Her: I didn't want it to seem like I was blowing you off back there(oh you are making me feel all warm and fuzzy again)
Me: Yeh no it didn't (which it didn't)
Me: It was good meeting you though you have a good night
Her: you too


Well Guys I am finally getting the hang of implementing dj stuff and funny comments into approaches and its getting easier and easier thinking on my feet each approach.....I am going to try some new things tonight in my approaches like I said I was and I will post about the stuff either tommorow or monday, I am going to get a couple numbers tonight, I think the magic is in the C+f and I really need to think quicker on my feet with C+F responses....but it will come and tonight Im graduating to a more indepth approach trying to implement rapport and convo's.


16 Approaches
2 Numbers
No Dates
And A helluva fun time!!!!

The fear is gone and it's nothing but fun.

You know the funny thing guys, now that the fear is gone the feeling I have right now, like when I think about approaching women and the fear associated with it, now when I think about it it's fricking weird, I get this feeling like I have never had the fear in the first place and almost as if the fearful times approaching almost never happened in my life and all this positive has washed it out of my conscious and my memory....it's like my subconscious now has adopted a confident manner about it that says "None of that fear has ever happened and you have never had fear approaching women", It's fricking weird as hell I tell ya, really neat how your attitude and your subconscious is reporgramed in the matter of a week by your actions you take, it's even hard for me to think of even dwell on any fearful times I've had cause it's like my subconscious now says to my mind that "That stuff never happened and that stuff never existed, you have always been confident approaching women"




Man it's one hell of a good feeling you all need to break thru these fears and feel this, its a natural high!!!!

Get out and feel this feeling guys!!!


Pugs

 

[Slickster]

in response...


In my opinion, asking "Are you single" right off the bat puts you at a crossroads.

If she likes your looks then you "might" succeed.

If not then her wall goes up and its an uphill battle from there.

I'm not sure why you seem so determined to continue with this approach but I'm sure you will find what works best for you. That is the real test. You shouldn't listen to me or anyone else if you find that your approach is working.

Have you ever been sold something by a really good salesman? The kind of person who takes the time to get to know your name, a little bit about you, what you do, etc. Then goes on to showcase his product but not in a pushy kind of way. He does it honestly. Shows you the good features and the bad. Makes you laugh. Makes you feel like there's no pressure. When you walk out of there you feel really good about your purchase.

Now thats a good salesman!

"Are you single" is the salesman equivalent of a guy standing on the street saying to everyone that passes, "Hey you wanna buy this?" "Hey you wanna buy this?" "Hey you wanna buy this?"

In essence you are silently communicating to these chicks that you really don't give a rat's ass about them at all. You've already qualified them solely based on their looks. And all you care about is whether they are single.

If you approach enough women you are bound to have "some" success but its just a numbers game. I'm sure you could sell a bald guy some shampoo if you asked enough of them.

If you're still not convinced why don't you make a pros and cons list of different openers. I can't for the life of me think of any pros for using that opener other than it is direct and cuts to the chase.

I won't keep ranting cuz I know you've heard it enough but I encourage you to lose the "are you single" line altogether and look for humorous situational based openers as in the example above.

Like I said before if you're putting yourself thru the effort to make all these approaches you might as well do it right. Half ass doesn't work for me and it shouldn't for you either.

You never know if you take the time to actually talk to some of these women you might even make some friends. Even if she's not attracted to you she might introduce you to some of her friends that are.

 

[diplomatic_lie]

Hi Pugs,

In my cold approaches, whenever I use the "are you single" straight off, I find its a lot harder to get a yes.

Whereas when I say something like "Let's go for a coffee on Thursday", I tend to get more responses. I even find when I get asked this question, its a lot easier to say yes to then "are you single?".

Although lately I've been doing more longer approaches, usually lasting for at least 5-10 minutes, so I guess that might have contributed partly.

 

[Silk_Slim]

Pug's just curious, did you get this idea from an article?

I remember reading about someone doin the exact same experiment. Approaching females and askin them if there single off the top.

I'll post it if i can find it.

 

[david90]

Pug, why don't you give the numbebrs you got a call and setup a date?

 

[blue17]

Well I believe that you DO care about getting these girls (well most of them)....but you realize that at this point that would be hard since you were afraid to approach. It's okay to take baby steps.....first getting over the fear of initial approaching. I think you've done that. It's good to be honest about your situation...and realize it probably won't go from never approaching to getting hot dates + action instantly.

However, what I gather from your posts is that you have mostly overcome the fear of approaching. That is the hardest step. But, I also think you are hiding behind the truth by saying "I don't care about the girls" as sort of a justification if you don't succeed.

The line "Are you single?" right away might hint at desperation. Whether you really are or not is irrelevant, but saying it might give her the impression you are. Also...the big thing is that by essentially saying "I want to go out with you." right off the bat, to her you are only evaluating her based on her looks. She is just a random girl chosen out of millions, that happened to be good looking. She hasn't had a chance to convey her personality at all, she is just a number, not a name. Even if she is attracted and interested in you, she has to wonder what YOUR motives really are. She has no clue whether you just want to fvck her because she happens to be good looking, or if you want to go out with her because you enjoy being around her. And by not doing any initial convo, you are essentially saying you want to fvck her because she is hot....as you have nothing else to base her on.

I'm not criticizing from the sidelines, I'm just giving my honest evaluation and opinion of your progress and situation. Keep up the good work though. Just remember, overcoming your fears builds confidence...and you're doing a great job of it. Once that has happened, the rest is easy. Good luck.

 

[Mr. Delicious]

Pugs we need an update!!!

 

[Pugsley_f5]

Days 7+8 Approaches 17+18

Hey guys, the reason I don't want to switch just yet is because all it does is confuse me.....I find something Im used to using and it just rolls off my tongue and then Im pressured to do this and that or this and that thing and because I know I want to or need to change to something else but I haven't gotten that phrase down and therefore It creates confusion in me because I no longer know what say when i go up to a girl, I can't use "are u single" cause it's satan incarnate, and I don't know any of the other ones well enough so i'll just not approach at all.......

Thats why I hate this hounding ****........cause you all are forcing me to change to something I don't know well enough and because I don't know it well enough I am not going to approach any girl with it cause I still haven't learned what Im going to say to her before I walk up, and the reason this crap makes me not want to approach and frustrates me is because I am stuck between something I have used before but can't use anymore cause it's "evil" and something I don't know well enough to use....and that my friends is the best recipe for inaction you can have right there in a nutshell, if someone doesnt have any clue of what to say to a girl before they walk up her they won't go, same goes with me......

This hounding guys all it does is drag me down and creates inner frustration in myself.....advice is ok, criticism is bad, and being given 1 zillion different things to try is the worst of them all cause all it does is create inaction.....it's like the old lion tamers used to use a four legged stool to put between him and the lion and because the lion had 4 different things coming at it it didn't know what to do or which one to strike first, so what would the lion do in this situation.....NOTHING. It wouldn't attack any of the legs cause it didn't know which one to attack and was too many things to focus on at once so it would just get scared and back into a corner and not attack any of the legs on the chair......so please guys give this **** a rest its really making things difficult for me and making this 100 approaches soo much harder than it needs to be. All this does is confuse me by chasing the carrot(approach) of the day instead of what i need to be doing and that is just approaching in general. Give it a rest for my sake PLEASE!


Well guys the only approach I did on Saturday I was in Barnes and Nobles and I used the approach that slickster said using the book and all I can say is I embarassed the **** out of myself..........It does not flow with my personality very well, I am more of a dry humor guy (and I keep a straight face till they start laughing) and with the book deal I don't think that's what was supposed to be done.

Heres how it flowed I had the book "Walter the farting dog" in my hands and an 8 Chick walked past me and started looking at books on the same shelf I was looking on a few feet down.....so I said Hi to her and asked her how she was doing, heres how the convo went.....

Me: Hey How are you doing?
Her: awesome and you?
Me: Im doing great..... and then I looked at the shelf for another 30 secs.....
Me: Hey you mind if I ask you a question?
Her: No, go ahead
Me: Are you single?
Her: Yes, I am but I didn't come in here for that (insert the ****y and funny comment I should have said here)
Me: Oh ok well in that case, I need an opinion on an intellegent read for a friend of mine...
Her: Ok sure
Me: Shows her Walter the Farting dog, and I kept a straight face and soo did she, she took my completley serious and it created a very awkward moments and she started given me a serious critique on it......until I couldn't take it anymore and I put my hand on her shoulder and said I was just joking...and she laughed a teensy bit and didn't really think it was funny, I thought she was going to laugh from the getgo but she didn't I didn't like doing it at all....., in fact I hated it and I doubt I will try that again. We left it off at "Have a good night" and she said "I hope you find the book your looking for for your friend" and I said sarcastically funny tone "I think Ive already found the lucky winner" (like its a booger or something)




The Second approach on the weekend, I wasn't sure if I should count it as an approach, but since I had flirted like I have never before I counted it even though I didn't number close, It felt good getting girls to laugh at me being funny and doing C+F and I also found a new favorite line as an opener I love!!!

Heres How it went I was in line getting a new pair of jeans and dress shoes at an outlet with like 20 people behind me and there Was a Brunette 7 at the register about 21 and a hot curly haired brunette (man! the way i like them!) HB8.5 behind her kinda watching over her.....

She started ringing up my stuff and I said to her

Me: Hey didn't we go to different schools together? (my new fave line)
Her: Yeh I thought you looked familiar!!!
Me: (Accentuating my words cause she didn't catch it) So we did go to different schools together!!!!
Her: Hey wait a second!!!! (and started lauhging out loud hysterically as well as the hotty watching over her)
Her: I thought that didn't sound right the second time you said that!!
Me: Then I moved my mouth closer to the cashier and looked straight inot the eyes of the HB8.5 curly brunette behind her and said just loud enough for the HB8.5 to hear (she was waering silver hoop earrings) "Hey you know what they say about girls who wear hoop earring don't you?" (immediatly the HB8.5 got attentive and started listening)

Her: What?
Me: (while looking in the HB8.5 eyes) "That they can't afford real earrings, so they took their bracelets off and put them on their ears" (the HB8.5 opened her mouth at me like saying "OMG I cannot believe he just said that" and the cashier was laughing alot and the open mouthed HB8.5 turned into laughing very hard.

and right as I was grabbing my bag and leaving I said to the cashier "Hey if I see you around school, I'll yell across the campus and run and wave my hands wildly" and she started laughing again.....and then she said to me "Come back and see us again maybe with some more new jokes" (as a compliment not a sarcastic cutdown) and I said "I'll see you all later" they all said bye to me......Instead of saying I'll see you all later, I should have closed on her, but that was hindsight afterwards I should have said this

Her:"Come back and see us again maybe with some more new jokes"

Me: "Why don't you give me your number and I can tell you all the jokes you can stand over a cup of coffee" I think that would have worked very well, but I didnt think of it till afterwards...


As I was walking out the door I heard the cashier say to the other cashiers "That guy was funny as hell"!

I was ear to ear smiles over that one......and I was like "Score!"

I found a new Opening line I love and I have gotten several laughes about it and a good way to set the tone meeting a girl for the first time........onto bigger and better things!!! C+F is def the way to go and if done properly I think it would be soo easy to close I think......I am also trying to get up the nerve to say some arrogant C+F lines to chicks while talking to them

Like "How does it feel to be talking to a ruggedly handsome bloke such as myself" (after I have gotten her laughing)

Or

"You are the luckiest girl in Greensboro tonight you know that"?
Her: Why
Me: Cause you got to talk to the hottest guy in GSO tonight....

Said with a sly grin in tongue and cheek of course.....its gonna take some guts to do it though



Pugs

 

[Mr. Delicious]

The first approach really wasnt that bad. Who hasnt been in a situation like that where someone didnt laugh at your joke. You feel stupid but then again its happened to everyone and i am sure she will forget about it. The second approach was awesome. Those were some great lines. Too bad you didnt number close. Have you called that first girl you got the number from yet?

 

[lbfan1638]

the 2nd approach was gold...nice job

 

[Ever onward]

Don't be discouraged and don't give up. It's okay to mess up along the way, it is a learning process afterall. Keep pushing yourself out of your comfort zone and one of these days you'll have nerves of steele and be as smooth as silk.

What your doing is going to benefit you for the rest of your life.

Remember it doesn't matter if you fall on your ass or lay the next 10 b1tches, this is all for practice. The only thing that matters are the skills you are learning, not any one girl you might hook up with. Have fun with it!

 

[bonethugmug]

The funny thing is that I think the first approach that you did with the awkward moments and whatnot was actually pretty inspiring to me. It shows that you can fall flat on your face, and guess what, it still won't matter at all after it's over. So here's how I'm going to look at it. If I don't approach, the possibilities are a.nothing's going to happen and b.nothing's going to happen. But if I approach... a.I might screw up but learn from it, or b.I might be laying the chick in just a matter of time. I think I know which route I want to take.

 

[sabitu]

First off, great job getting out there and conquering you fear. I believe your approach of asking "Are you single" is a great approach. Here are some tips and suggestions I got from DYD that you might find helpful:

1) When you ask her "Are you single", ask with a suspicious tone in you voice. This lets the girl know that you are the one qualifying her. If she says "no, I have a boyfriend" or whatever, you could come back with

You: Great! I bet you have a lot of hot girlfriends you could introduce me to.

HB: (Laughing) Yeah I guess I do.

You: You sound like you'll make a nice friend. (Look at watch) I gotta get going, but you know now you're going to have to introduce me to these hot girlfireinds of yours....here, write down your number for me.....OR SAY You sound like you'll make a nice friend. (Look at watch) I gotta get going...you better have your hot girlfriends with you and introduce me when I see you again.


If she answers "yes" that she is single, you could come back with a C&F statement that I heard one a DYD interview

You: Are you rich?

HB: (Usually she will hesitate, studder a little while laughing) No, not really. (The common answer is no)

You: That's too bad, I need a girl who can support my lavish lifetlyle (said with a smirk) (Look at watch) I'll tell you what, I gotta run, but how about you write down your number and we continue this conversation at a later date? (Usually the C&F stuff will get them in a good mood and they will happily give out their number)

If after you ask for her number she says something like

HB: I thought you said you needed a rich girl?

You: Well, I guess you're personality will have to do. (Definitely have a slight smirk on you face when you say this so she isn't offended)

Of course there are many ways you can throw C&F into your approach. These are just examples that seem to work well in most situations.

 

[Pugsley_f5]

Satibu that was good stuff you gave me to use thank u.........I didn't have enough time to even wipe my own butt last night let alone even go out approaching, but tonight Ill have tons of time and Im going back out after it.......

 

[Mr. Delicious]

Originally posted by Pugsley_f5
Satibu that was good stuff you gave me to use thank u.........I didn't have enough time to even wipe my own butt last night let alone even go out approaching, but tonight Ill have tons of time and Im going back out after it.......

Ok but make sure you wipe your butt first. Not wiping your butt is AFC behavior and girls can smell it a mile away

 

[Pugsley_f5]

*Thanks for reminding me I almost forgot.......