People need to stop fooling themselves

[Jay Fiedler]

After reading posts of here for a few months, I've come to one logical and clear conclusion. No matter how much some of the guys on here want to believe otherwise, looks are basically the ONLY thing that matters in getting hotties.

I think that alot of the guys on here (especially newbies) want to believe that if you apply DJ techniques, you can get any girl you want. But the downright truth is that 95 times out of a 100, people attract others to them that are similiar in hotness.

Now, their are exceptions. If your mega rich or famous, looks can be overlooked by some. And of course there are times when almost any average guy can get a one night stand or a date or two with a hottie. But on average, the hotter you are, the hotter people that you attract. I think that alot of the guys on here that arent that great looking need and want to believe otherwise in order to keep their dreams of attracting really hot babes alive, and they go through all of the steps on here in order to do that. But guys, think about it. If your not attracted to a girl because shes a 5, no matter how nice or fun she maybe, do you really think girls think any diferently of you if you're a 5? Hell no.

Look around someday, 9 times out of 10 when you see a guy and girl together, they are within a point of each other in looks. Thats why when I read on here some guys who admit they arent that great looking but keep going after the 7's, 8's, and 9's, I just want to grab them and say "look at reality". I'm not saying you should limit yourself to just lower rated girls if you're not that good looking, anyone can get lucky, but at some point you have to face reality and in order to consistently score chicks if your only average or below looking, you have to spend more time going after women in your area code of looks.

I know this may sound harsh, but truth is truth, and as much as we all might not admit it, we want to be someone we are VERY physically attracted to, and the same goes for women. Such is life.

 

[Phoebus]

I tend to agree, but there *is* more to it than that...

Your physical appearance is the first thing *anyone* will notice about you. And, right or wrong, the will pre-judge you on that appearance. If you are good looking, people tend to assume good qualities about you, true or not. I know I am guilty of the same thing... An ugly girl who sounds like a child when she speaks will annoy me to no end when she opens her mouth. A pretty woman with the same exact voice might make me smile (oh, it's sooo cute!). Maybe not the best example, as it would still get old fast with the hottie. But at first, I would be much more forgiving of her flaws. It is the same with everyone and every part of life; jobs, schooling, dating, etc.

So, what does this mean to the "average" guy? Is he sh!t out of luck? Nope. How many female 9's out there would "naturally" be 9's? Not many, I bet. They wear makeup, go to the gym, diet, make sure they have the right clothes, etc. Generally, they take pride in themselves and it shows. Well, besides the makeup, every man on this board can do the same things. No, you many never attain "model" good looks, but if you are a 5, you can atleast bump yourself up to a 7 with some work. Go the gym, watch what you eat, take care of the clothing you do have and make an attempt to improve your wardrobe a little at a time. You will notice a difference, not only in other's attitude towards you, but also in your own towards yourself.

And, as it has been stated before, good looks only get you the interview. Your personality will be what gets you beyond that point.

Again, it all comes down to being yourself. And I mean that. The problem was never in you... It was in you being afraid to be the best you that you could be. Improve yourself. It will still be you. Just a better you.

 

[BWSL2]

I met my cousin's fiancee today. Most guys would rate her at 9. The fiancee is skinny, going bald, just an overall nerd. Physically, he'd be one of the guys on "Average Joe." But, he has confidence, is well spoken, funny, etc. Basically, the great guy that we all strive to be. They both make about the same money, in different career fields. My cousin kept giving him the "deer in the headlights" look, and it wasn't because he looked like a movie star.

I don't believe your theory because I've seen it disproved time and time again with my own eyes.

 

[AmgineEX]

Or maybe you need to learn a little more. These techniques do work. You have the mindset that "women are men with vaginas and breasts" going on. That's a common misconception. Women do not think like men, and if you can't understand that, then maybe you're on the wrong forum.

 

[Kineti[C]harm]

You are forgetting one simple little thing about girls.... Most of them have a ****ty selfconfidence and self-image and will rate themselves lower than what they are.

 

[zimzum]

What you say is partially true...
If you are obese, and ugly or whatever, you 'll have to do an exceptional work to get the chick... If you like her, she might acept that you make some mistakes...
I've been rejected in discos by really ugly girls(i've had my bad days)... and I've gotten really hot...never a perfect ten... but i've gotten some "8 level" girls, and for me, I consider myself payed...I'm an average looking..

Besides, girls are not physically attracte by a look, if not by an IMAGE... If you ask a "darky girl" (the ones that listen to Marilyn Manson, Korn, Slipknot, and other heavy bands) if Justin Timberlake is cute, she WILL SAY NO!!!, but if you ask it to a cute teenager, that likes pop,, she WILL SAY OF COURSE..!! Then the idea is to take part of your looks and create an image(fake or real that's up to you) that might impress some chiks... It might impress some , but not others, no matter how good looking or bad looking you are...
The problem with ugly people is that they create an image that nor the "darky girl" nor the "pop girl,or anyone like... For example, being fat, is considered unattractive by every girl(darky, pop, etc etc etc)...so, if you are fat, you should loose weight , or it will get really hard to create that image...

SOSUAVE guarantees success for average looking boys, that want to get really hot chicks..for ugly boys it should help them to get 5 or 6 level girls, which is not bad, worst is nothing...

 

[Satan Psycho]

Wow. How did you do it? How did you ever figure out that looks are the only thing that works? You must be a fucking genius. Thank God you came to this board because we've been wasting our time for the last four years.

You obviously don't understand the basic idea but I'm not going to try to convince you here. Every now and then we get someone here who thinks he's goddamn Socrates.

Originally posted by Jay Fiedler

I think that alot of the guys on here (especially newbies) want to believe that if you apply DJ techniques, you can get any girl you want.

The first thing you should have learned here is that is not true. That's what NEXT!ing is for, Socrates.

Originally posted by Jay Fiedler

Look around someday, 9 times out of 10 when you see a guy and girl together, they are within a point of each other in looks.

Just how many of those guys you see when you look around have ever even heard of sites like this. You've probably never seen one. If you don't believe me, ask.

Originally posted by Jay Fiedler

I know this may sound harsh, but truth is truth, and as much as we all might not admit it, we want to be someone we are VERY physically attracted to, and the same goes for women. Such is life.

The reality is, Dude, that it takes more than a few months to see major results. After a few months, one should be getting the idea. Sorry man, but you are behind the average.

 

[Kineti[C]harm]

Oh another thing I remembered...

If you take the most important term describing a mans looks which is

Good looking or lets use handsom since it's the direct translation of the word used here if girls really find someone attractive...

That does NOT mean he is _PRETTY_ as in his face is pretty, it means that the PERSON/IMAGE of him is handsom... This can mean alot but it's normally different things put together like a cool hairstyle and some really nice clothes/gear that fits the guy and he is suddenly "HOOT"... This guy at school he is defenately NOT attractive (my female friends say he is actually pretty ugly in the face) but because he is so badass, he ooses of criminaltendencies they find him SOOOO SEXY....

So don't listen to sprite! Image IS everything (ok it's not, but it does count alot actually)...

 

[becker]

I agree that a large part of it is image, rather than "good looks", because the latter is definitely more subjective, whereas an image tends to be a little more objective.

As much as I hate to admit it, clothes and hair have a lot to do with creating the image that you're looking for. However, be careful, because whatever image you try to create, the next step is to have the right attitude and personality to go with the image, otherwise you look like a total poser.

 

[StockTrader]

Looks help you get women, but they aren't the deciding factor. I've seen too many examples in real life to prove this.

Let's say you're 350 lbs, missing some front teeth, un combed hair, with average clothes and an average income. If he's going after a Jessica Alba hottie, who am I to say he can't get her, simply because of his looks. If he carries himself like a fat slob, then his chances are virtually zero. But if he carries himself like a rock star and as if he's the man, then his chances just got alot better. I've seen short guys, fat guys, skinny guys (I'm a skinny guy), every kind of guy land a hottie (in a superficial town such as LA). And they didn't rely on money or looks. It comes down to game. Pure and simple.

 

[learningtopimp]

Creating an image is a huge part. There are certain things you maybe cannot do a lot about. If your losing hair or your nose is too big, for example. However, just like someone above said, there is a lot of stuff with girls looks that are not that great but they are able to work on by makeup, gym, hairstylists, etc. I don't have to tell you what a makeover does. Same thing with guys to an extent. Go to the gym and acquire the body that you want. Put on or lose weight, get your muscles ripped. Get a hairstylist who can figure out what would look good on you (gay guys are the best!). Pick a clothing style that looks good. Use lots of facial care products. Etc. Women do all of the above. Sure, they have a certain amount of looks, but without exercise, beauty products, clothing, and makeup most of the ones that are hotties don't look anything like they do when doing all of these things. You will be suprised how much you improve. I'll use my personal example. I was too skinny, so I went to skinnyguy.net and worked out and got preety ripped. I figured out I look best with spiky hair, and I tried various clothing styles, but found that the GQ/Actor/Businessman fit me better than the thug/player look or the all-american/abercrombie kind of clothing. So I ran with that. Now, I am young and I am generally considered a slightly above average looking guy without getting ripped or dressing better, so I admit I had a bit of an advantage. But any guy can seroiusly improve with some work in this area. Once you do that, it is a matter of attitude.

 

[Gangster Of Love]

I totally agree with the last two posters. It comes down to game, #1, and looking good, even if you are not good looking. The original poster has a "I'm not cut out for this approach, so why even try" type of attitude, not about himself, but about how other guys should operate. That is total Bvll $hit. Most people use that excuse because its the easiest to adapt, and it saves you all the work of tryin', and more importantly of failing until it pays off.

I do agree that you cannot be a total troll and go jock hotties. But you can definitely have more success when pickin' up on women who got you beaten on the looks department. Both game/attitude, and looking good are things that one can work at and improve tremedoulsy, therefore greatly swinging the odds in your favor.

 

[Bloodsport]

I am an exception to the "looks aren't everything" statement. My looks determine 100% whether or not I will get a girl. Sometimes I meet girls who find me really good looking, and they're often attractive themselves. Other times I'll approach a girl and they won't even realize I was making a pass at them because they didn't approve of my looks the second they saw me. And worst of all, sometimes I won't even be looking at a girl, and she'll look at me like I'm the ugliest guy alive. This inconsistency drives me crazy. I'd rather be thought of as average to all girls and rely on personality than be ugly to some and really hot to others.

 

[drixsa]

yes looks do play a certain role in attraction

some girls are only looking for gorgeous hunks that appear on men's health.

but most of them are not.

will being very attractive get your foot in the door, so to speak?

YES it will

BUT being attractive will not keep you in a relationship with any women that is worthwhile

 

[Bloodsport]

Yeah, but when some girls look at you like you belong on the cover of a magazine, and others look at you like you're no better than Jeff the Drunk from The Howard Stern Show, appearance means everything.

 

[Christopher_Reeves]

Jay Fielder, I must say that I do not agree with your post.

Looks are not the only thing that matters in the world of women and dating. If that was the case, so many good looking guys wouldn't have problems in dating. In my personal experience...the majority of the guys who I would see as being phenomenal with women are NOT physically attractive. Some of my hottest female friends go out with some of the most average looking guys, I swear.

Now I've said this time and time again. The reason why a lot of guys start thinking the way that you do is because you are not getting women......and you blame any circumstance that you can't necessarily help. The reason why a lot of guys fail on this site is because of the mindset that they have. Most guys come up in here and try and learn as many techniques as they can to IMPRESS a girl. They try all of these weird techniques and "spells" to do what.......IMPRESS the girl. A woman will SENSE IMMEDIATLY when you are trying to impress her - no matter how you do it. She'll NOTICE that you're trying to put on a front and will see you as a poser. That has nothing to do with looks. And besides, if your theory that people are only attracted to people that are as good-looking as themselves, then so many horny average guys wouldn't be chasing models all the time.

Being rich or famous has nothing to do with attraction. The reason why celebs tend to only date other celebs is because celebs look at each other as PEERS, not as people that are BETTER than themselves. So therefore, they don't try and impress each other with petty "techniques".

Some of the best looking guys I know are horrible with women, because they believe the same thing that you do. They think because they are handsome, they can act like dumbasses around women and attract them. Well I'm here to tell you that looks alone will not HURT your game, but will not do much to help it, either.

Think about it.....would you be attracted to a HB10 who was nothing more than just her looks? No you wouldn't, so don't expect for a woman to be either.

So like I said before, the reason why so many guys fail here is because they telegraph to a woman that they are trying to IMPRESS her not by being a Nice-guy, but being some kind of "****y comedian".

C+F is a great thing, but not as a "technique to get the girl". C+F should not be USED, but EQUIPPED.

But guys, think about it. If your not attracted to a girl because shes a 5, no matter how nice or fun she maybe, do you really think girls think any diferently of you if you're a 5? Hell no.

I date hot women often, and let me tell you right now that I have sometimes found myself so attracted to some women that other guys would see as being 6. But let me flip the script....

Take a hot model who's definitely a HB10 or higher - and make her stuck up and boring.....then take a 6 who was so much fun and really sweet.....which girl are you going to want to hang out with more?

Women do not look at themselves in the mirror and say, "Hey, I'm a hottie, so I'm going to only day other hotties." ATTRACTION ISN'T A CHOICE! Women do not sit down and CHOOSE what kind of looks they are going to be attracted to. Women don't even KNOW THEMSELVES all of the looks that they can be attracted to.

Attraction is an emotion just like being happy, sad, or angry.

Someone causes you to feel happy or sad by treating you a certain way. Since Attraction is an emotion just like these, someone makes you FEEL attraction by treating you a certain way. When you see a HB9 and you want to approach her, this is NOT attraction - this is interest....there's a big difference.

Maybe you need to learn HOW to make her feel attracted instead of worrying about WHAT TO DO to make her feel attraction. Think about it, there's a difference.

If you don't know how attraction works......all the "techniques" in the world will only make things WORSE.

 

[Craig Reeves]

Whoops, sorry guys.....that was MY post...I was logged in as my brother on accident.

 

[Microphone Fiend]

everyone it's alright, there's a perfectly good explanation for why Jay Fielder said what he said...
He's a dolphins fan

lol, but seriously, this just sounds like a newb who got dissed on his appearance and is goin kamikaze sayin he can't get laid. Good looks just means that chicks are more likely to give you an easier time during a CA, but women are unlike men in the fact that they don't judge a book by it's cover as easily

 

[Jay Fiedler]

Wow guys, most of you gave exactly the response I was expecting on a "how to get girls" website. I mean that is the main reason you're all here right? Because you've been struggling in that regard?

First let me clarify a couple of things. I am far froma newbie on this board. I have been here for over a year, and under my old screen name I had over 600 posts I believe before I was banned for reasons I dont need to go into here. I've been with numerous girls and have slept with over 60. I've had at least 15 ltr's of over 3 months, many lasting at least a year. I like many of you have had periods of when it comes to women, we lose our way or need some help in seeing things straight, but overall I consider myself a master DJ.

Next, I and people I know consider myself to be very attractive. Around a 9. I'm 6 feet tall, 195 pounds, in great shape-with little or no fat. I am extremely confident in my looks and appearance-right down to the way I dress.

Now, as far as my original post, I ask you one question. If looks arent the main and deciding factor in how we are attracted to a mate, then why is it all of you guys arent going after 4's, 5's, and 6's that are super nice or have great personalities? Why is it the bank teller girl who weights 200 pounds that you talk to and laugh all the time with when you go to the bank isnt high on your list of girls to get with? The reason is simple. You're not physically attracted to her. And guess what guys, WOMEN THINK EXACTLY THE SAME WAY AS US!! You're fooling yourself if you think otherwise. Hang out with a bunch of girls sometime. ALL they talk about is how hot this guy or the other guy is. They dont talk about "ohhhhh, he's soooo nice". Hell no. They talk about what a great ass he ass or how nice his eyes are.

Why is it 99% of the girls that guys talk about going after on this site are 7's, 8's, 9's, and 10's? Because that is what were attracted to. And so are the women. Don't kid yourself by thinking otherwise. Which gets me back to my point. Unless your super rich or famous, odds are your going to have to find a mate that is within your range as far as looks. Of course there are exceptions, nothing is set in stone except death and taxes, but I just want to scream if I read one more post from a guy who says hes a 5, and yet keeps going after 8's and 9's and wondering why he keeps getting nowhere. And then blaming the girl for being an attention ***** or a beeootch. Guys, they are the same as us when it comes to looks. They want someone who is at least close to them in how they perceive they look. Its not rocket science and there isnt some great conspiracy created by women to reject certain men, as much as many of you want to believe. Discuss.

In edit: I noticed right after this post there was a thread saying "I only like hot women", which illustrated the main point of my post perfectly. And most everyone agrees with the original post about only liking hot girls. Now, do you think women think any differently? What, because your a 5 in looks but have a great personality and are a master dj, you're gonna get all the 9's in the world? Ahhh..no. Odds are you're gonna be with a 4, 5, or 6 most of the time. Yeah you may luck out and date a 9 once in a while, but odds are not for long, and then your right back to your looks bracket. It just amazes me the arrogance some of you have. Why is it you think its normal for a 5 guy to date a 9 girl, but a 5 girl wont date a 9 guy? Trust me guys, it very very rarely happens. Get over it and accept facts.

 

[Gangster Of Love]

Originally posted by Jay Fiedler

First let me clarify a couple of things. I am far froma newbie on this board. I have been here for over a year, and under my old screen name I had over 600 posts I believe before I was banned for reasons I dont need to go into here.

Echo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Nice of you to finally admit what we've known all along. Come on, you didn't really think people would buy your act of disgusing as someone else after being banned, did you? Oh, right, you don't give a rat's ass what anybody here thinks.

Yes, looks matter, if only everyone here was blessed with our looks. Life is tough man.


Welcome back.