Online Dating Field Report

[Genghis Juan]

Hey guys,

I consider myself pretty good looking, I am about a 7/10 I think.

Anyways, I've posted my profile on both match.com and yahoo.com and these are my stats so far total.

Emails sent out: 15 -- Returned: 0
Emails written to me: 2 -- I responded to: 1

I think I could post pictures of me that are way better, but I just get the feeling that online dating is kind of a waste of time. I did a search of the number of women that meet my criteria in my area and found about 250. Just to get an idea of the numbers, I did a similar search on guys of a similar age range and found about 580.

Has anyone here had any amount of success with online dating?

It just seems to be alot of work for nothing. If I am going to be spending hours thinking of creative emails to send off, why not just go to a bar or place in town and just try to meet real people?

 

[Survivor]

Dating websites are just like nightclubs. They're great places for women to pick men, but not necessarily the other way around. They're basically brothels for women.

I did the online thing for a little while when I was single and let me tell you up front that the odds are severely stacked against you. For every one response you get, the average ugly fat girl will get between 20-30 responses.

To get a decent match is ALOT of work. When I was online I sent out over 100 inquiries. Got back about 5-6 responses. The results? About 4 really bad dates and zero matches.

Online dating can be interesting and fun, but only as a small supplement to real world approaches. Besides, the really hot girls that you want aren't going to be online anyway.

 

[WestCoaster]

Internet dating is frustrating

I've done a lot of it the past couple years and with mixed results.

My problem is I want to MEET people not e-mail them. Women (particularly on e-harmony) just want to e-mail ad nauseum. I'm more of a let's-get-going guy. I want to meet them and find out if I want to date them.

I find it odd that one would pay to go on a website and then just e-mail. I have friends I can e-mail, I want to meet people and get the ball rolling or don't get it rolling, but at least I want to get out there and meet.

Plus, women on the internet are looking for Mr. Perfect out there, while most guys I know are flexibile.

I've decided to bag the internet dating for awhile and go other venues ... including a night out Friday without wingmen to try and get digits. Ha! Haven't done that in awhile but here I go! Gotta work on Player Supreme's eye contact game and see what happens.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Originally posted by Survivor
Dating websites are just like nightclubs. They're great places for women to pick men, but not necessarily the other way around. They're basically brothels for women.

I did the on-line thing for a little while when I was single and let me tell you up front that the odds are severely stacked against you. For every one response you get, the average ugly fat girl will get between 20-30 responses.

To get a decent match is ALOT of work. When I was online I sent out over 100 inquiries. Got back about 5-6 responses. The results? About 4 really bad dates and zero matches.

Online dating can be interesting and fun, but only as a small supplement to real world approaches. Besides, the really hot girls that you want aren't going to be online anyway.

Ehem... Being the resident proponent to online dating I have to say that I agree with everything that you said.

1. The odds are definitely stacked against you, especially if your profile looks like every other AFC's that's listed.

2. To avoid getting replies to non-HBs, you have to be specific about the the type of woman you would want to meet. Understand that for this to work, it needs to go both ways. You should be specific when describing yourself too.

If you are concerned about the shape of a woman, you should disclose with no uncertain terms your shape. Also understand that this may drastically limit your number of responses but hey, isn't that what qualifying is all about?

3. Meeting online women can be a lot of work. Think of it like fishing, good fishermen have tried several lakes at several different times and have used many types of bait. Eventually they learn where to be and at what time, using the right bait to get the type of fish he wants.

When I use the personals I rotate a series of pictures of myself AND keep my profile relatively up to date with what I'm doing in my life that's exciting. This works because refreshing your profile will bring if up in searches as new and maybe your change of bait will lure in the one that had previously got away.

4. Yes you can find hot girls online! They are online because they are tired of being approached in clubs or on the street by your typical AFC. Being online is like shopping to them. THEY get to pick and choose.

Yep, this could put them in the drivers seat but not as easily if you differentiate yourself from the typical online AFC. Through qualifying you can make THEM work for your attention. Believe it or not, a bunch of the theories in Doc Love's "System" works well online.

Yeah, it's a ton of hard work, but I'll tell you one thing; in doing the work I have been able to enhance my nimbleness when encountering women in real life. Confident as funny as hell and flirting with damn near any woman in a skirt.

You can use the Net as a training ground just like you train in any night club. All you need to do is get their attention, get them interested and close; no difference. Go into it with the mindset that your primary purpose is to build your DJ skills and you may just surprise yourself.

 

[princelydeeds]

Originally posted by Francisco d'Anconia
Ehem... Being the resident proponent to online dating

This question has been asked a million times but what sites do you use? I've noticed a number of pay sites allow you to see the women but in order to communicate, both parties have to be paying members.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Originally posted by princelydeeds
This question has been asked a million times but what sites do you use? I've noticed a number of pay sites allow you to see the women but in order to communicate, both parties have to be paying members.

The one with clearly the most members is Match.com. Major ISPs such as AOL have switched to them as well as portals just as MSN and Netscape. They've gone up on the price, $60 for 6 months now instead of $90 for a year. Oh well, I say that $120 (1 year) is what I use to spend on just a couple of dates before learning the ways of the DJ.

Yahoo also has a service that's under $100 a year but I think that you can get more bang for the buck from Match. They're similar but Match has a better feel to it. Plus match has many additional features to help you along, much like those of eHarmony.

Speaking of eHarmony, that one feels likes the best if your are trying to find "the one." It was created by a psychologist that has over 30 years of relationship experience. It involved some intense questionnaires about your personality to find you the perfect match. This costs all of $250 a year yikes

Finally there's pay as you go type services like Lavalife where you buy a set of tokens to communicate with someone. I don't know the cost off hand but you have to use the tokens within 6 months before they expire. Lavalife does have three types of relationship sections; Dating, Relationship and Intimate. Use your imagination to figure out what you would find in each section.

So to answer your question frankly, don't expect anything from the sites unless you sign up. If you aren't confident in your skills or are at least willing to take the time to learn from your mistakes, don't waste your time or money.

Another thing is not to think of it as "on-line dating." That's a ridiculous term now that I'm considering it. You aren't dating on-line (if you are successful). You are meeting people on-line to THEN DATE in real life. Don't let on-line AFCs spout off about on-line relationships. Only nebish AFCs have on-line relationships. DJs can meet people via several different venues and then foster real time relationships.

 

[ER!C L!VE]

Originally posted by Francisco d'Anconia
Only nebish AFCs have on-line relationships. DJs can meet people via several different venues and then foster real time relationships.

So true. The people who say meeting bytches online is 'AFC' or 'lame' or whatever are the guys who have failed at meeting women off the internet.

 

[princelydeeds]

I love online dating. I've had plenty of success with two free sites. In fact online dating has gotten me laid numerous times. Two of the chicks im currently boning I met online. I don't have a GF but the person closest to being my GF I met online.

I've had MAJOR success with two free sites, but i'm trying to find some other sites and all I see are the pay sites. The pay sites don't work unless both people pay to use them.

 

[Soma]

I, also, have had and continue to have quite a bit of success with the online personals. Meeting people while out is priority but on the days that I'm home and have some free time, I spend it contacting and getting to know the women through online places.

Hot or not, Myspace, Friendster, Match.com, Click2asia, Yahoo personals, Bangme. I've got profiles all over. Game is game but you will have to adjust your methods for online. It really isn't that hard once you gain some experience. Like anything it takes practice.

Sometimes you meet someone who is down to talk on the phone and meet right away. Sometimes it takes a few emails. Sometimes they are ready for the sexxor right away. Same thing as real life cause guess what? It IS real life. The people you see in bars, malls, etc., are people who have PC's at home. It's no biggie.

Though I will say this. I have yet to meet a 10 from online. I haven't even seen one that's legit, usually fake pics. 9's are rare but can be found. I usually meet up with 7's and 8's. The 8's I have my fun with, the 7's I befriend. Annnd if I'm feelin horny, wll then yeah, I'll do the 7's also. hahaha.

From befriending the girls and meeting their friends I've increased my social circle several times over. It's a normal to me to meet so many new people and have new friends but when I tell other friends about it they are like, "Wow, that's crazy.".

It's fun to me. Yeeeeea, biotch!

-Soma

 

[Doppler4000]

Originally posted by Genghis Juan
.....but I just get the feeling that online dating is kind of a waste of time.


.....It just seems to be alot of work for nothing. If I am going to be spending hours thinking of creative emails to send off, why not just go to a bar or place in town and just try to meet real people?

Amen. Waste of time.

There are chicks on-line that wouldn't even consider replying to your emails that you, if you get any good at it, could pick up in 10 minutes at the grocery store, etc.

 

[stevera004]

Re: Re: Online Dating Field Report

Originally posted by Doppler4000
Amen. Waste of time.

There are chicks on-line that wouldn't even consider replying to your emails that you, if you get any good at it, could pick up in 10 minutes at the grocery store, etc.

I agree. I tried online dating and the results were less than impressive. You need to do a lot of work to get dates; and when you meet them in real-life, they aren't that impressive. Besides, the ladies can only appreciate my best assets in person. Online is pure BS. Too many players (or guys who think they are) and too many princesses and fatties. That's it.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Re: Re: Re: Online Dating Field Report

Originally posted by stevera004
I agree. I tried online dating and the results were less than impressive. You need to do a lot of work to get dates; and when you meet them in real-life, they aren't that impressive. Besides, the ladies can only appreciate my best assets in person. Online is pure BS. Too many players (or guys who think they are) and too many princesses and fatties. That's it.

Now this was a perfect example of prevailing thoughts of online services. Notice what happened in this example:

1. Did not get immediate results.
2. Not willing to do the work.
3. Not effectively qualifying the women first.
4. Meeting non-qualified women.
5. Made excuse for only being able to portray his best self in person.
6. General piss poor attitude about the experience.

No wonder there's so many guys who don't like the personals. But consider this, you will have the same attitude if you do these same six things while meeting women face to face!!!

When it comes down to it, no matter if you are online or not, you are either a DJ or a AFC. Either you know what you are doing or you don't.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Originally posted by Soma


From befriending the girls and meeting their friends I've increased my social circle several times over. It's a normal to me to meet so many new people and have new friends but when I tell other friends about it they are like, "Wow, that's crazy.".

It's fun to me. Yeeeeea, biotch!

-Soma

Sounds like doing the work and doing a good job qualifying has worked out for you. Even better, it has allowed you to meet more people. The best thing is that you have a positive attitude about it and are having fun with it, why shouldn't you be successful at it?

Good Job!

 

[stevera004]

I decided to improve my online dating skills. Two ways:

1) most important. Get a good digital camera and takes zillions of pictures (pick the best one); make sure you look good and confident etc. Stay away from goofy poses etc. Emulate success: go to www.hotornot.com and do a search for *guys*. Take hours and hours and notice the ones that get the high scores and notice the ones that get the low scores. Emulate the high scores.

2) almost as important: If you need to fill in a blurb about yourself, do a search for *guys* on the online site you're on. Spend hours and hours and cut-and-paste the best one (or an amalgamation of the best ones) into your own profile. Read it a few times to make sure you know it cold.

I am having more success now with 1) & 2). May post more in a separate thread (since online dating is all about getting to the conversation stage and setting up a meet, everything after this has zero to do with online).

 

[gentleman193]

Well, just remember, Al Gore invented the internet. If that's your idea of a DJ then go for it. And don't forget to mention candy in your ad, fat girls lluuvvvv the chocolate candy.

 

[GirlCrazy]

Same thing as real life cause guess what? It IS real life. The people you see in bars, malls, etc., are people who have PC's at home. It's no biggie.

A lot of men just don't understand that concept. Like that HB8 is any less of a catch because you met her online instead of a club. That all night sex session doesn't count cause you didn't approach her the "real" way.

The only thing I see wrong with online dating is where men use it as a crutch to avoid facing their fear of approaching women.

As long as you are using the internet the right way, for the right reasons, then there's some serious tail to be had online. Just one more tool in the DJ's bag of tricks!

 

[WestCoaster]

Gonna get back on the online scene

I think I'm gonna try and rev it back up. Internet dating works for me because I work full time, sometimes I have weekend work, I like to workout at the gym after work, and take part in other hobbies. I don't have time to go trolling in the bars, though I had some fun last week. Coffee shops are OK.

The problem with online dating (at least where I live) is most of the women just want to e-mail forever and not meet ... or perhaps they just want to e-mail me and not meet me. E-harmony has this "stage" system where you e-mail for awhile before meeting. Not doing that again, I want to get the ball rolling.

I did Yahoo! a few times, it's only OK.

E-harmony, had mild success but not like I wanted. I would rate it below average.

I did online personals from a local alternative weekly newspaper and actually was pretty good, except not a lot of variety and they get very, very few new people posting. I did meet a real cool gal who is now a very good friend, but really wasn't my type to date long term.

Anyway, I just glanced through Match.com and that appears to have a wide variety of quality women in my area (well, they looked good on appearance and glancing at bios). I think this might be the best site.

I don't think online dating is for everyone, but my social life did pick up since trying it and it fits my time constraints.

 

[Walden]

Yeah I agree with the thing with girls who want to eamil forever and never meet. I usually sort for that to save effort , after the 3rd email I offera meet and if I don't get a real reply I gove on to the next. You have to be willing to brutally cut away the chaff or you'll be emailing agoraphobics forever.

Besides , I want to be dating fun adventurous outgoing confident women. Very few of them are going to be on a website that mediates the seduction process to make it even _safer_ right?

 

[WestCoaster]

Yep, no reason to be e-mailing forever

Funny line on the agorophobics, Walden!

Yeah, I also put a three e-mail limit. Why goof around when there's others who won't wait as long? These women know dating off the internet is a risk just like picking up guys in a bar is a risk. But if you're going to pay money for an online dating site, why waste this money e-mailing?

I have other friends I can e-mail, including other females who I don't have to pay a fee to e-mail. And frankly, they're probably more interesting.

Too many people out there to meet to be goofing around e-mailing in front of a computer screen.

 

[Marty]

Online success

Everything you say about online dating is true.Odds are stacked against you,but lets face it,we're guys,the odds are always stacked against us wherever we go.
I had success with loveaccess.com and adultmatchdoctor,the former of the two is where I met the woman I am currently living with and engaged to.She came all the way from Ottawa,Ontario to Jacksonville,Florida a year and a half ago and is still here.
She is bisexual so we still cruise the onlines for playmates.
I will say here that it takes much persistance and trial and error,plus some bad dates to finally get it right.Also the same rules of attraction engagement that work offline work online as well.I tried the usual,"this is me,this is my pic,my interests are....."zzzzzzz.Zip,nada,nothing.Then I decided to go in smart ass mode and suddenly women were Iming me and telling me how much they liked my profile.If you want a look at what I did for profiles to get some clues,check loveaccess.com and look under the handle of nofubars or nopsychos.Check also adultfriendfinder (still playing with that one)under justadude1960.It's all good.I don't get much time and don't get rich doing the work I do,so I don't do clubs(I loathe them anyway)and the online scene worked for me.
Marty