No real motivation to meet/date girls anymore

[AmsterdamAssassin]

I've read a few books about how to get girls.

One of the problems is that you can read yourself into paralysis.

 

[BergischerLöwe]

One of the problems is that you can read yourself into paralysis.

I have a tendency to overthink things and get decision paralysis very easily, so in my case this has definitely happened

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

I have a tendency to overthink things and get decision paralysis very easily, so in my case this has definitely happened

I think you should stick to one strategy, just to learn how to connect with women (not to seduce them, just to learn conversational skills and how to lead the convo) before you attempt to have any type of relationship.

 

[BergischerLöwe]

I think you should stick to one strategy, just to learn how to connect with women (not to seduce them, just to learn conversational skills and how to lead the convo) before you attempt to have any type of relationship.

Yeah that sounds pretty good, takes some of the pressure off. But there's still the problem that I'm not meeting women naturally, so I don't really have any to practice on

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

the problem that I'm not meeting women naturally, so I don't really have any to practice on

Yes, you will have to go on a vacation to Eastern Europe.

 

[BergischerLöwe]

Yes, you will have to go on a vacation to Eastern Europe.

Yep I think I'll have to at some point. Can't expect much of anything to happen but I gotta do it. Was thinking of going back to Germany again anyway. But if I go to Europe with the expressed purpose of meeting women then I'm sure to fail. That kind of thinking puts too much pressure on me. If I go into it like that, women will be able to sense it

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

Yep I think I'll have to at some point. Can't expect much of anything to happen but I gotta do it. Was thinking of going back to Germany again anyway

Go to Berlin.

 

[BergischerLöwe]

Go to Berlin.

I've been there before and it's kind of a weird town, idk about the vibe. But then again last time I was there it was only a couple days. My dad went to college in Berlin back in the early 80s, his opinion of that town is a positive one. I'm much more familiar with Köln and München, I was born near the former and the latter I've been to numerous times

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

Go where the women are. Berlin has a more alternative scene, more younger people.

 

[SW15]

You'll never find what you're looking for in the US, ur only hope here would be to find a chubby alternative chick who's weirdly introverted.

This probably describes most of the women who'd be attracted to me here in the states, and exactly the kind of mid women from dating apps I'm fed up with

I never dealt with these kind of women on the apps. I dealt with above average looking gals in the 6-7 looks range who were heavily pursued.

I'm aware of that quote from Pook, there was a point where I could recite all of Pook's 15 Rules from memory. I'm not trying to have a bad attitude about the stuff the community writes about, it's just geared towards a different audience than me. Cold approach and the like seems to be geared more to the sort of guy who can already meet women irl easily and get laid on a fairly consistent basis, but wants to get girls a tier or two higher than what he's used to.

If you read Book of Pook and Bang, you do have interest in vagina.

Mystery and other PUAs did take some really socially awkward guys and turn them into seducers.

Neil Strauss was a 5'6" balding guy before starting to run with Mystery and the other PUAs.

Think about all the really socially awkward guys who struggle to get a date at all, try to learn cold approach since it's marketed heavily as a solution, then spend a bunch of money attending bootcamps and trying to approach only for them to be in the same situation as before. That kinda stuff wasn't written with them in mind, and thus they can't apply it to their own situation, so they fail with it and become more blackpilled and discouraged. Now I myself am not severely socially awkward, and I've always had friends in my life and I've had a girlfriend in the past and hookups from apps, but still as I said before part of my social development was stunted due to upbringing and life circumstances growing up that I couldn't control. Me reading something like Bang and attempting to apply its principles wouldn't do me much good, I don't really think I'm the intended audience for that and there's other issues going on with me

You've done better than a lot of dudes who attend bootcamps, watch PUA videos, etc.

It is true that a lot of men who try to learn seduction fail.

 

[BergischerLöwe]

Go where the women are. Berlin has a more alternative scene, more younger people.

I see. To me it's just the vibe of the town that's kinda weird, it's really urbanized there so it's not quite as chill as some of the other German cities that I've been to

 

[BergischerLöwe]

I never dealt with these kind of women on the apps. I dealt with above average looking gals in the 6-7 looks range who were heavily pursued.

Unfortunately that's just the kind of women I attract on apps where I live, and I'm tired of that. It feels like I'm far less attracted to them than they are to me and then I have no motivation to pursue women because I'm fed up about having to mainly resort to those sorts

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

I see. To me it's just the vibe of the town that's kinda weird, it's really urbanized there so it's not quite as chill as some of the other German cities that I've been to

You don't need chill. You're way too laidback.

 

[BergischerLöwe]

If you read Book of Pook and Bang, you do have interest in vagina.

Mystery and other PUAs did take some really socially awkward guys and turn them into seducers.

I did read those books but that was some years ago. I've heard about mystery but a lot of guys make fun of him and most people say his methods are outdated now. He also strikes me as somewhat of a charlatan. There's just something about the way he presents himself that comes across to me as insincere and vain. Like I said Book of Pook was a very good read and it had influence on my mindset for a long time but I could never apply its methods to real life. I always just ended up swiping on apps after a while because that's far more accessible for someone such as myself. Fate hasn't loaned itself to applying the knowledge discussed in that book

 

[BergischerLöwe]

You don't need chill. You're way too laidback.

To be chill isn't really a bad thing tho

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

To be chill isn't really a bad thing tho

I know.


But you need some pepper up yo @ss.

 

[BergischerLöwe]

Now that I think about it the only time I've really talked to European women is a few times on various apps. When I studied in Austria I was talking to this girl on tinder for a bit and she was into some of the same things as me but she didn't want to meet up with me because I was only there for a semester. That was back in early 2019. Then last year I was talking to a German girl on HelloTalk for a few weeks, it's like a language exchange app. We were just talking tho, obviously I never expected anything to come from that, it was mainly to have someone to talk to in German. Since there's not many people in the states who know German I was looking to chat in German online basically. Ironically enough she was from the same part of Germany where I'm originally from. Apart from that I haven't really talked to any women from Europe

 

[SW15]

You don't need chill. You're way too laidback.

These days, too many men are laid back. It seems like every guy is trying to market himself as some chill, laid back dude. Men need more intensity.

 

[BergischerLöwe]

These days, too many men are laid back. It seems like every guy is trying to market himself as some chill, laid back dude. Men need more intensity.

I genuinely am more of a chill type tho, that's how I've been my entire life

 

[SW15]

I genuinely am more of a chill type tho, that's how I've been my entire life

What's going on is NOT working for you. You need to shake things up radically.