No real motivation to meet/date girls anymore

[CornbreadFed]

Because I've always used apps my text game is pretty decent at least. However the flip side is that to this day I've never initially met a woman irl and gone on to date her. Only ever learned how to approach online and it shows. I feel pretty inadequate because of that fact sometimes and I wish I could pull an irl approach off and get a date out of it. Any time I've gotten a girl's number irl it's because the woman approached me, but it's only happened a handful of times and each time nothing came of it. Under normal circumstances I'm never in any situation where I'm naturally meeting single women I can potentially date. Back in my college days whenever I heard friends of mine talk about how they hooked up with a girl they met in class or wherever else irl I would get really jealous at them internally since I've never been able to accomplish that. It's irrational to be envious of something so trivial but whenever I heard stories like that it made me feel pretty bad. Even today I still get those feelings sometimes

Same for me. Nothing in IRL never blossomed past the talking stages for me. My lays were from the girls displaying extreme high interest initially. Plus, this was during peak of PUA/rise of the red pill so my female communication were borderline mental. I do not miss college and my shvtty sex life does contribute part of it. Like you said, I just never had any real world soft pitches thrown at me to date a girl outside OLD.

 

[corrector]

Same for me. Nothing in IRL never blossomed past the talking stages for me. My lays were from the girls displaying extreme high interest initially. Plus, this was during peak of PUA/rise of the red pill so my female communication were borderline mental. I do not miss college and my shvtty sex life does contribute part of it. Like you said, I just never had any real world soft pitches thrown at me to date a girl outside OLD.

That is rather convenient. In other words, if it were not for OLD then you would be an incel. What about if OLD doesn't work as is the case for most guys who aren't chad/chadlites? You are really left with cold-approaches or staying incel. @SW15 will promote cold-approach because his normie-looks tier (as of course mind, if not worst) is not good enough for OLD.

 

[CornbreadFed]

That is rather convenient. In other words, if it were not for OLD then you would be an incel. What about if OLD doesn't work as is the case for most guys who aren't chad/chadlites? You are really left with cold-approaches or staying incel. @SW15 will promote cold-approach because his normie-looks tier (as of course mind, if not worst) is not good enough for OLD.

I would be screwed tbh. I don't think I would've been an Incel, but I would've definitely settled for a girl way lesser than value due to scarcity and fatigue.

 

[BergischerLöwe]

I would be screwed tbh. I don't think I would've been an Incel, but I would've definitely settled for a girl way lesser than value due to scarcity and fatigue.

Yeah I can relate. If it wasn't for apps I probably would either still be a virgin or have lost it much later, and I already lost virginity pretty late at the age of 21

 

[SW15]

In other words, if it were not for OLD then you would be an incel. What about if OLD doesn't work as is the case for most guys who aren't chad/chadlites? You are really left with cold-approaches or staying incel. @SW15 will promote cold-approach because his normie-looks tier (as of course mind, if not worst) is not good enough for OLD.

I would be screwed tbh. I don't think I would've been an Incel, but I would've definitely settled for a girl way lesser than value due to scarcity and fatigue.

The more typical answer that is the app swipers end up dropping their standards and settling for a worse option than those who approach strangers.

Both app swiping and approaching strangers are extremely time consuming efforts.

 

[CornbreadFed]

The more typical answer that is the app swipers end up dropping their standards and settling for a worse option than those who approach strangers.

Both app swiping and approaching strangers are extremely time consuming efforts.

This can happen outside apps too. For example, let's say you are in a dry spell, and you are introduced to a single mom or overweight woman that gives you a chance and you get drawed in by the thirst.

 

[SW15]

The more typical answer that is the app swipers end up dropping their standards and settling for a worse option than those who approach strangers.

This can happen outside apps too. For example, let's say you are in a dry spell, and you are introduced to a single mom or overweight woman that gives you a chance and you get drawed in by the thirst.

Yes, it happens in both. Your example is good.

Another time standards drop a fair amount is within 1 hour of closing time at the bar. Lots of men will drop standards, especially if going for same night sex.

Standards tend to drop fast on the apps when men see few matches. Most men have less than 1% of their right swipes turn into matches.

 

[corrector]

This can happen outside apps too. For example, let's say you are in a dry spell, and you are introduced to a single mom or overweight woman that gives you a chance and you get drawed in by the thirst.

Yeah, I met my single mom ex wife offline.

 

[BergischerLöwe]

Yes, it happens in both. Your example is good.

Another time standards drop a fair amount is within 1 hour of closing time at the bar. Lots of men will drop standards, especially if going for same night sex.

Standards tend to drop fast on the apps when men see few matches. Most men have less than 1% of their right swipes turn into matches.

Even though my dating life is mid at best, one thing I'm proud of never doing is lowering my standards out of desperation

 

[Gamisch]

I see. My problem is I have a hard time getting laid even with women I meet on internet platforms.

It's definitely less personal with escorts. A good escort, however, will at least be a good actress (Even though, deep down, you know the escort doesn't truly desire you).

One bonus of escorts, they're more likely to engage in fetishes.

Here's how I screen for cops: I find my escorts exclusively online. I only contact an escort if she's been posting her ads for at least a week. The ads that say "In town today only" are a major red flag that she's a potential cop.

Also, I always have escorts come to me. That alone makes the chances of her being a cop plummet. A cop is highly unlikely to drive out of their way, into an unknown environment, just to make a single arrest. In the USA at least, a private home is seen as the most dangerous place for a cop (because the cop has no idea what they're walking into). Cops will use a motel room (or sometimes an apartment the police station rents) to lure as many johns as possible (thus maximizing the amount of arrests)

Your problem is that you have a escape strategy.

If you didn't had the money to get hookers you might've put in the work and pulled women for sex, relationships ect.

I like your honesty tho. Yet you are here on the Don Juan university, so if you smarten up you can leverage your money and sexual experience to get what you REALLY want from life.

 

[Gamisch]

As for what I mean when I say nerve-wracking, mainly the question in the back of your head "Will the escort turn out to be a cop?" As you get more experienced with escorts, you learn certain techniques to screen out stings.

You'll also probably have the question in the back of your head "Does the escort have diseases?"

Also, having sex with a woman who's only with you for money is a different experience than having sex with a woman who genuinely wants to be with you. As someone who has had both, I can speak from experience. It's hard to explain if you haven't done both.

Then after the session, you might ask yourself "Did I really just spend that much money on sex?" (As you'll be in shock because this is the first time you've paid for sex).

Once you've had sex with escorts enough times, everything I mentioned becomes less of a concern.

The frequency of how often I see escorts varies. I could go months without seeing an escort. Then there could be a month where I see an escort twice.

When I was 25, I even hired 2 escorts in one night. Another time when I was 25, I hired one escort one night then another escort the following night.

As I've gotten older, I've capped myself at twice a month.

To answer your question of whether I see high-tier, mid-tier, or low-tier, I would say mid-tier.

The absolute cheapest I've ever been with was $120. I've never been the type of guy to see $60 street-walkers.

The most expensive I've ever been with cost 2 thousand. That was for an all-nighter, however. When I think of high-tier escorts, I think of the escorts that charge a four digit price tag per hour.

I would estimate the average of all the escorts I've seen is probably $300.

Why would you go through all of this?

I live in a area where sex is really really cheap. 40 bucks for 20 minutes. Yet I havent done this in...6 years now. Yes, my "favorite "types if women are more easily accessible like this and i dont say I'll never do it again,as the possibility is always lurking. I get that a beautiful woman asking x amount of money for a session is tempting.

Yet I rather go through a dryspell than feck a hooker. Because 1. Its "just" my infinite horniness that leads me down that dark path of broken women including all the risks you've mentioned, and 2. It teaches us NOTHING about male female dynamics. Paid sex is like fastfood. If you make your own chinse food you at least pick up a "skill" and you can improve this skill. You cant improve buying fastfood tho. Strange but best example I have now.

Eventually hookkers are part of the negative cycle of porn and substance abuse, insecurities, wasting of money, poor life choices and the reinforcement of negative beliefs of self.

 

[corrector]

I get that a beautiful woman asking x amount of money for a session is tempting.

Yeah. I think my interest in porn would have died for good in the 90s if that issue did not exist. The question is if you can really believe you can pay to get GREAT sex hor next door type and you feel good about yourself the next morning. In a mental fantasy you are always getting great sex because its made up. The last time I had a mental fantasy of paid sex with the OF Filipina girl I posted that the girl was worth every penny. Of course she would as it was all imagined up. I dont think clients usually get that experience though. You dont seem to like it if you stopped 6 years ago! In the mind, there is no broken women. You basically need to do gymnastics with a mental fantasy to think you are going to have great sex with a quality hot girl who is exclusively selling herself to you or even suspension of disbelief (that she is dealing with other guys) if you are actually dealing with one.
You portray an honest and sad picture which is close to the truth.

I have not found an OF escort to date who is willing to do a personalized ad (ie hi xyz, I want to sell myself to you for xyz I really want you to be my client, and here are some of the things I will do with you....or do a mock escort session). That is becauae its inherently demeaning even to them when you put it like that. You cant make an escort feel like a hor, lol!

 

[SW15]

When I'm referring to single mothers I'm mostly referring to women who had a child out of wedlock and where the father has little to no involvement with the child's life. A good example would be what you've commonly seen with black people over the last several decades.

With that said, I believe there is a very big difference between what I mentioned above with say a woman that was married, had children and got divorced. Women in this bracket are typically receiving child support from the father. They also are going to typically be much older, as in 30+, and really not in the dating bracket of a young man.

I believe that you'll notice some very key differences between these groups. The first group usually consists of women who had their first child very young. Chances are she is from a more lower class background, has lower levels of education, etc. I've noticed many women in this category are a bit trashy and the fathers of their children are also often from very bad backgrounds. I've seen a lot of these women reproduce with drug addicts, criminal types and just losers in general lol.

The divorced women are in a totally different bracket. The fact that these women got married is already a much better sign compared to the previous example, it's just that they may have gotten into a marriage that did not work out for a multitude of reasons. You are much less likely to find the behavior in the previous example with women like this.

I agree with everything you said about the 2 different types of single moms. You and I have the same perspective on single moms and realize that there are distinct groups of single moms. In July 2022, I nearly made the same post as you just made above in the thread below.

milfs asking "do you have a dog?"

a lot of times when I go to pet a milf's dog, she asks me "do you have a dog?" is this a normal question that she also asks the next guy, or is she observing something unique about me with respect to dogs? this weekend this milf specifically told me "you have a special connection with dogs" or...

www.sosuave.net

You're not dealing with the mainly Black and Hispanic single moms living in impoverished neighborhoods who are government assistance parasites. You're dealing with the @BeExcellent type of single mom who is middle class or higher. You're dealing with the single mom who is able to support herself without government assistance and usually has a beta male ex-husband who is paying her child support, sometimes alimony, and is active in the child's life. The mainly minority women single mothers in impoverished neighborhoods have baby daddies who are tattooed dirtbags, mainly absent from their children's lives, and deadbeats who aren't paying child support. That's a different type of single mom.

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For me, as a White, 40 year old male right now, I am more likely to be dealing with White, divorced single moms when interacting with women closer to my age. However, I do not often interact with single moms in a mating context because I happen to do my approaching in areas where there are mainly unmarried people. These unmarried people also tend to be childless. I can think of very few real life approaches that I've done where the woman was a 30+, middle class + divorcee of children under 13.

I believe that a young, or at least relatively young, man should be looking for women that are single and childless. A guy that is 34 could still realistically date a woman that is as young as 24-25, and many of these women are still single in this age range. The issue with dating women that already have children is that you will always come second to her children, which is natural on her end. However, the problem is that you are in a situation like this with children that are NOT your own, which I believe can result in some animosity/jealousy developing.

One way I could see a relationship with a single mom working out is if you already had children of your own. Say you are 42, had a kid or two with another woman that you divorced. At this age, you are realistically going to be dating women that are at least 30, so if you were to find a woman that was divorced with kids I believe it could work out, as you've already reproduced and have your own.

This becomes more problematic for men who are 35+ like me. 35+ men often end up interacting with single moms unless they are structured and disciplined in their approaching in real life.

As a childless, 35+ man, it is important to me to interact with childless women. I don't think it is fair to me to form a longer term dating relationship with a single mother. I made life choices that have kept me childless. It's not unreasonable for a childless man to ask for a childless woman.

I agree with the idea that a single father with children under 18 could date a single mother with children under 18. It is likely to create some uncomfortable family type interactions, but it is possible to work. Additionally, fellow single parents can identify with lifestyle of the other person. As a childless man, I am not going to be able to identify with a single mom's lifestyle. That's going to frustrate me in an extended, committed relationship.

 

[BergischerLöwe]

I agree with everything you said about the 2 different types of single moms. You and I have the same perspective on single moms and realize that there are distinct groups of single moms. In July 2022, I nearly made the same post as you just made above in the thread below.

milfs asking "do you have a dog?"

a lot of times when I go to pet a milf's dog, she asks me "do you have a dog?" is this a normal question that she also asks the next guy, or is she observing something unique about me with respect to dogs? this weekend this milf specifically told me "you have a special connection with dogs" or...

www.sosuave.net

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
For me, as a White, 40 year old male right now, I am more likely to be dealing with White, divorced single moms when interacting with women closer to my age. However, I do not often interact with single moms in a mating context because I happen to do my approaching in areas where there are mainly unmarried people. These unmarried people also tend to be childless. I can think of very few real life approaches that I've done where the woman was a 30+, middle class + divorcee of children under 13.



This becomes more problematic for men who are 35+ like me. 35+ men often end up interacting with single moms unless they are structured and disciplined in their approaching in real life.

As a childless, 35+ man, it is important to me to interact with childless women. I don't think it is fair to me to form a longer term dating relationship with a single mother. I made life choices that have kept me childless. It's not unreasonable for a childless man to ask for a childless woman.

I agree with the idea that a single father with children under 18 could date a single mother with children under 18. It is likely to create some uncomfortable family type interactions, but it is possible to work. Additionally, fellow single parents can identify with lifestyle of the other person. As a childless man, I am not going to be able to identify with a single mom's lifestyle. That's going to frustrate me in an extended, committed relationship.

I plan on staying childfree my whole life. How do you navigate meeting women without kids in your 30s? This is something I need to prepare for

 

[SW15]

I plan on staying childfree my whole life. How do you navigate meeting women without kids in your 30s? This is something I need to prepare for

That's not too difficult. If you're going to sit at home and be an app swiper, all you do is swipe right on childless women. If you want to send DMs on Instagram, send DMs to women who don't have children.

The biggest thing that you can do in your 30s if you want to meet childless women in their 30s is live in a major US metro area. Women who are 30+ without kids are much rarer in smaller towns and even mid-sized metro areas (think 200,000 - 799,999 populations). Childless women 30+ tend to be White women living in some of the biggest metro areas in the US.

Once you live in one of the biggest metro areas in the USA, you would need to do in-person approaching in areas with a higher than average concentration of unmarried women. I'm selective about the venues where I approach because I desire to only interact with unmarried, childless women.

 

[corrector]

Back to the dreaded swipe apps and the mid tier women.

 

[Hamurabimbi]

NoFapwill motivate you. If not. check T levels.

 

[BergischerLöwe]

NoFapwill motivate you. If not. check T levels.

I haven't been able to sustain nofap for long term. Lowfap would likely be more sustainable but even then I always wind up falling off the wagon

 

[corrector]

I haven't been able to sustain nofap for long term. Lowfap would likely be more sustainable but even then I always wind up falling off the wagon

I am lowfap because I am 47 y/o and my libido is low. It has done nothing for me. Lowfap still gives you pressure release.

I think that nofap without dealing with real women just means you will just lower your overall libido and not care that much about women. You will lose intersst in them even sexually and just get further out of the zone.

If you are able to cold approach and meet women, and are in a target rich environment,.then doing some approaches and swipes, along with nofap should be helpful. If you do nothing to actually meet and interact with women then it wont make women magically appear from space and nofap or lowfap would be a wasted effort.

Tbh, your nofap/lowfap will just make you hungry enough to go afternthe same midtier women you want to avoid now. The people here tend to push people to dumpster dive or settle to break dry spells.

 

[Hamurabimbi]

I am lowfap because I am 47 y/o and my libido is low. It has done nothing for me. Lowfap still gives you pressure release.

I think that nofap without dealing with real women just means you will just lower your overall libido and not care that much about women. You will lose intersst in them even sexually and just get further out of the zone.

If you are able to cold approach and meet women, and are in a target rich environment,.then doing some approaches and swipes, along with nofap should be helpful. If you do nothing to actually meet and interact with women then it wont make women magically appear from space and nofap or lowfap would be a wasted effort.

I’ve found nofap to really motivate me to meet woman. However. If over two weeks I feel like I’m going insane.