No real motivation to meet/date girls anymore

[Manure Spherian]

Well then what should I do moving forward? I'm sick of apps and can't meet women naturally in real life either. So what option is left for me?

I think a good starting point is to realize and perhaps tell us why you want a woman.

Why do you?

 

[corrector]

I think a good starting point is to realize and perhaps tell us why you want a woman.

Why do you?

We do not want ANY woman, but the right one.

 

[corrector]

Well then what should I do moving forward? I'm sick of apps and can't meet women naturally in real life either. So what option is left for me?

Why are you sick of apps if you feel you can pick up girls who are attractive enough to deal with? That is as bizarre as saying I am sick of looking at escort ads (which I literally was during Dec, 2014).

 

[Manure Spherian]

We do not want ANY woman, but the right one.

That’s implied.

 

[BergischerLöwe]

Why are you sick of apps if you feel you can pick up girls who are attractive enough to deal with? That is as bizarre as saying I am sick of looking at escort ads (which I literally was during Dec, 2014).

Just because I can sometimes get mid women from apps and am used to doing using them doesn't mean that it's ideal. Over the years I've gotten diminishing returns from apps in terms of quality and quantity of matches, and as the years go on apps become increasingly monetized and less usable. Furthermore I would like to decrease my dependence on apps, one of my biggest frustrations is that I've never really learned how to attract women irl. Since I've used apps my text game is decent, but as far as meeting women in real life and approaching them I have no confidence in that. As I've said before, in this current state, in the hypothetical situation that meet a woman in real life that I eventually come to date, chances are it would have to be her approaching me and not the other way around. This of course is not realistic to expect

 

[BergischerLöwe]

I think a good starting point is to realize and perhaps tell us why you want a woman.

Why do you?

Well I'd like to have a fulfilling love life and have a relationship with a woman I'm really excited about, but this hasn't yet come to pass. Yes I can occasionally meet girls but it feels like the kind of women I want are a bit out of my reach. I wanted to experience something like that while still relatively young but now the door is rapidly closing on that prospect. If I do attain that goal I don't want it to happen when I'm old

 

[forcerecon01]

Well I'd like to have a fulfilling love life and have a relationship with a woman I'm really excited about, but this hasn't yet come to pass. Yes I can occasionally meet girls but it feels like the kind of women I want are a bit out of my reach. I wanted to experience something like that while still relatively young but now the door is rapidly closing on that prospect. If I do attain that goal I don't want it to happen when I'm old

I think Buddhism would help you a lot in that you come across as too attached to the outcome.

 

[BergischerLöwe]

I think Buddhism would help you a lot in that you come across as too attached to the outcome.

I'm a Hindu already, converted two years ago. There's a lot of the same teachings in Buddhism but Hinduism is more comprehensive

 

[forcerecon01]

I'm a Hindu already, converted two years ago. There's a lot of the same teachings in there but Hinduism is more comprehensive

Cool .... Just a suggestion.

 

[corrector]

Just because I can sometimes get mid women from apps and am used to doing using them doesn't mean that it's ideal. Over the years I've gotten diminishing returns from apps in terms of quality and quantity of matches, and as the years go on apps become increasingly monetized and less usable. Furthermore I would like to decrease my dependence on apps, one of my biggest frustrations is that I've never really learned how to attract women irl. Since I've used apps my text game is decent, but as far as meeting women in real life and approaching them I have no confidence in that. As I've said before, in this current state, in the hypothetical situation that meet a woman in real life that I eventually come to date, chances are it would have to be her approaching me and not the other way around. This of course is not realistic to expect

I'm just curious, you are saying that using escorts is against your religion, but using women for a casual encounter is not? With me the issue in the past of using an escort was not the money but the casualness of dealing with a total stranger. There is just something depraved about that. You are really comfortable hooking up with strangers?

Back to the main issue, yu said you've have not been with a woman in 4 years. You have a good trust fund and you have no issues with money so I don't understand how an app being monetized should hold you back. The apps is less usable because you are not paying for the extra features? Why not just pay it then if you have money and make them more usable?

I think you have an enviable position and I don't feel like you are throwing everything at this like you can. You are independent, you have money, you have youth and youthful energy, you had success using the apps in the past. Why not just try a matchmaker service? What about trying dance lessons? Because you know what...you need to do everything you can. Even go to another country if you have to. Do you feel that you are doing the best you can to find the type of women you want?

Unlike you I have legit excuses. I don't feel you do though and you need to evaluate your priorities in life.

 

[corrector]

Well I'd like to have a fulfilling love life and have a relationship with a woman I'm really excited about, but this hasn't yet come to pass. Yes I can occasionally meet girls but it feels like the kind of women I want are a bit out of my reach. I wanted to experience something like that while still relatively young but now the door is rapidly closing on that prospect. If I do attain that goal I don't want it to happen when I'm old

I had that experience when I was 36 years old in 2012. It was young enough to register. I think part of you remains young for a long time. However, at 47 years old today, I'm feeling old now compared to how young I felt at 36 years old. I don't think a repeat of the same type of experience would feel the same today. As long as you don't hit older than 45 years old before you meet this soulmate you should be fine.

 

[sangheilios]

I wonder how many men on here had single mothers or lived in matriarchal households.

I did.

Anyone else?

Here's my take on this. When I'm referring to single mothers I'm mostly referring to women who had a child out of wedlock and where the father has little to no involvement with the child's life. A good example would be what you've commonly seen with black people over the last several decades.

With that said, I believe there is a very big difference between what I mentioned above with say a woman that was married, had children and got divorced. Women in this bracket are typically receiving child support from the father. They also are going to typically be much older, as in 30+, and really not in the dating bracket of a young man.

I believe that you'll notice some very key differences between these groups. The first group usually consists of women who had their first child very young. Chances are she is from a more lower class background, has lower levels of education, etc. I've noticed many women in this category are a bit trashy and the fathers of their children are also often from very bad backgrounds. I've seen a lot of these women reproduce with drug addicts, criminal types and just losers in general lol.

The divorced women are in a totally different bracket. The fact that these women got married is already a much better sign compared to the previous example, it's just that they may have gotten into a marriage that did not work out for a multitude of reasons. You are much less likely to find the behavior in the previous example with women like this.

I believe that a young, or at least relatively young, man should be looking for women that are single and childless. A guy that is 34 could still realistically date a woman that is as young as 24-25, and many of these women are still single in this age range. The issue with dating women that already have children is that you will always come second to her children, which is natural on her end. However, the problem is that you are in a situation like this with children that are NOT your own, which I believe can result in some animosity/jealousy developing.

One way I could see a relationship with a single mom working out is if you already had children of your own. Say you are 42, had a kid or two with another woman that you divorced. At this age, you are realistically going to be dating women that are at least 30, so if you were to find a woman that was divorced with kids I believe it could work out, as you've already reproduced and have your own.

 

[BergischerLöwe]

I'm a Hindu already, converted two years ago

I'm just curious, you are saying that using escorts is against your religion, but using women for a casual encounter is not? With me the issue in the past of using an escort was not the money but the casualness of dealing with a total stranger. There is just something depraved about that. You are really comfortable hooking up with strangers?

Back to the main issue, yu said you've have not been with a woman in 4 years. You have a good trust fund and you have no issues with money so I don't understand how an app being monetized should hold you back. The apps is less usable because you are not paying for the extra features? Why not just pay it then if you have money and make them more usable?

I think you have an enviable position and I don't feel like you are throwing everything at this like you can. You are independent, you have money, you have youth and youthful energy, you had success using the apps in the past. Why not just try a matchmaker service? What about trying dance lessons? Because you know what...you need to do everything you can. Even go to another country if you have to. Do you feel that you are doing the best you can to find the type of women you want?

Unlike you I have legit excuses. I don't feel you do though and you need to evaluate your priorities in life.

Preferably I wouldn't want casual encounters. As I've previously stated I'm tired of that and want something more lasting with a girl I'm really into. That's why I'm fed up with apps in the first place. With apps I haven't been able to meet a woman like that. I've paid for apps in the past but stopped paying for them in a bid to reduce my dependency on them. I could start paying for them again but that's not really anything more than a short term solution. Plus these apps rip people off and don't really care about anything more than keeping guys on a hamster wheel, so for that reason I'm more reluctant to pay.

Maybe I haven't been doing all I can to meet the kind of woman I want, but with the complexities of my situation everything's really overwhelming to me and I get decision paralysis. There's so many things that I don't really have much direction. I've thought about the possibility of women from other countries but I don't know of non-sketchy ways to meet them. There's all those mail order bride companies but they all seem to cater to weird lonely boomers who are oblivious to the fact that these same services are actively ripping them off and charging them a bunch of money.

I am originally from Germany though I mostly grew up in the states, and sometimes I wonder if I'd do any better or worse with the women from the Old County or anywhere else in Central Europe for that matter. However I've never actually had the chance to go on a date with one so that remains untested. I did live in Austria for a semester in college but I had a girlfriend back in the states during that time so I didn't try to meet girls there. I'd like to try and see if women from Old Country are any better but I still live in America rn. Even if I went back to visit Germany for a couple weeks as I've done in the past it wouldn't really give me much time to try meeting girls there. I will say this tho, in the German speaking world the women are more attractive on average than in the states.

It's true that I haven't had sex in four years, but I've met up with a couple women during that stretch of time. None of those interactions led to sex tho since I didn't choose to pursue it to that extent. I could have but I decided not to for various reasons.

 

[BergischerLöwe]

I had that experience when I was 36 years old in 2012. It was young enough to register. I think part of you remains young for a long time. However, at 47 years old today, I'm feeling old now compared to how young I felt at 36 years old. I don't think a repeat of the same type of experience would feel the same today. As long as you don't hit older than 45 years old before you meet this soulmate you should be fine.

Hmm perhaps you're right. Maybe I have a bit more time than I perceived. Still once I hit 30 finding a soulmate will become much more difficult I would imagine

 

[BergischerLöwe]

I started feeling this around 27 too. The only sex I crave is just seeing a new girl naked for the first time and knowing that she wants to hop on my dvck. I get tired of the sex part within 30 seconds lol.

Is that how you still feel now?

 

[SW15]

Brett Cooper's latest video claims that men aren't approaching women and asking them out.

 

[CornbreadFed]

Is that how you still feel now?

Yep, pretty lazy

Brett Cooper's latest video claims that men aren't approaching women and asking them out.

Asking out a woman is hard enough. Too much pressure like she has a boyfriend, Metooed, and etc to even bother.

 

[BergischerLöwe]

Asking out a woman is hard enough. Too much pressure like she has a boyfriend, Metooed, and etc to even bother.

My feelings exactly on cold approach as well

 

[CornbreadFed]

My feelings exactly on cold approach as well

It's just easier to get good at OLD and go at it from there. Is it perfect? Hell no!!, but it beats the efforts of cold approaching lol.

 

[BergischerLöwe]

It's just easier to get good at OLD and go at it from there. Is it perfect? Hell no!!, but it beats the efforts of cold approaching lol.

Because I've always used apps my text game is pretty decent at least. However the flip side is that to this day I've never initially met a woman irl and gone on to date her. Only ever learned how to approach online and it shows. I feel pretty inadequate because of that fact sometimes and I wish I could pull an irl approach off and get a date out of it. Any time I've gotten a girl's number irl it's because the woman approached me, but it's only happened a handful of times and each time nothing came of it. Under normal circumstances I'm never in any situation where I'm naturally meeting single women I can potentially date. Back in my college days whenever I heard friends of mine talk about how they hooked up with a girl they met in class or wherever else irl I would get really jealous at them internally since I've never been able to accomplish that. It's irrational to be envious of something so trivial but whenever I heard stories like that it made me feel pretty bad. Even today I still get those feelings sometimes