New strategy for securing straight to your house dates

[GoodMan32]

Why? Wasnt that the point of the whole thing?

I've mentioned my crippling phobia of pregnancy before on this forum.

The woman I had the date with was a thick 21 year old. About as fertile as it gets. I was terrified of getting her pregnant (even with a condom).

The fact I inserted myself for a split second shows I was considering having sex with her. My fear then got the best of me.

Another time in college, a 38 year old woman ended up naked in my bed after a 1st date. Without ever inserting myself, I ended up rubbing my banana against her thigh (with a condom on) until I climaxed. Even though 38 isn't as fertile as 21, it's still relatively young. So I opted out of sex for the same reason: Fear of pregnancy.

I've learned it's best for me to go for 45+ year old women. Then I can relax about the fertility thing.

 

[Pierce Manhammer]

Your mentation about pregnancy is not normal. Have you talked to a therapist about it?

 

[GoodMan32]

Your mentation about pregnancy is not normal. Have you talked to a therapist about it?

I've been going to therapy since the beginning of June (for various sex/dating-related issues). My fear of pregnancy hasn't specifically come up though.

I have told my therapist, however, that I prefer a 45+ year old woman. Interestingly, he never thought to ask why a man my age would prefer a woman more than a decade older.

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

I have told my therapist, however, that I prefer a 45+ year old woman. Interestingly, he never thought to ask why a man my age would prefer a woman more than a decade older.

Maybe you should tell him without waiting for him to ask?

 

[SW15]

Interestingly, he never thought to ask why a man my age would prefer a woman more than a decade older.

That would be the first thing I would ask.

Your mentation about pregnancy is not normal. Have you talked to a therapist about it?

It definitely isn't. I have used condoms and gone on with life. A good percentage of women younger than @GoodMan32 are on birth control too. The combination of condoms and birth control works quite well.

 

[GoodMan32]

Being afraid to lose usually is what prevents most men from winning in the long run, ironically.

Indeed. On my last date, I never so much as kissed her.

In the past, I've scared some broads away by being too frisky too soon. So then I started overcorrecting in the opposite direction.

Just like my past experiences with mistaking niceness for interest have caused me to start overcorrecting in the opposite direction.

If only I could find a happy medium.

 

[GoodMan32]

Maybe you should tell him without waiting for him to ask?

He's the expert. If he felt it important, he'd ask.

 

[GoodMan32]

That would be the first thing I would ask.



It definitely isn't. I have used condoms and gone on with life. A good percentage of women younger than @GoodMan32 are on birth control too. The combination of condoms and birth control works quite well.

I don't want to turn this into a thread about birth control. But I've told you before that birth control is too risky. She could forget to take a pill (or purposely go off the pill without telling me).

I know a man whose ex-wife went off the pill without telling him (and ended up pregnant).

I also recall a female classmate in college telling me about a friend of hers who went off the pill to trap a boyfriend.

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

He's the expert. If he felt it important, he'd ask.

He's an expert, not a mind reader.

I'm so glad I didn't become a full-time therapist.

 

[GoodMan32]

He's an expert, not a mind reader.

I'm so glad I didn't become a full-time therapist.

I know. Still, seeing as he's a relationship expert, I stand by what I said: If he thought my age preference were strange enough to justify an explanation, he'd ask why I prefer older women.

The fact he didn't ask, he probably thinks my age preference isn't strange enough to need an explanation.

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

The fact he didn't ask, he probably thinks my age preference isn't strange enough to need an explanation.

You shouldn't play mind games with your shrink. One of your main problems has to do with fear of contraceptives failing on you, which is not something a therapist will find in your maze-like psyche. If you're this evasive and avoidant with your therapist, you have deeper problems than they can solve.

 

[Pierce Manhammer]

This is the way, no games, no bs, fun and seductive way. How long would be the maximum dates that you'll wait before fvcking her?

Probably 3. But frankly its predicated on how things are going - if things are progressing well, she's very attractive to me, if she is allowing progressive escalation, etc. Given I'm not spending much on dates - most of mine are active, outdoorsy kind of dates - if she's doing the above and is pleasant company about 3 is the point at which I ratchet back if no progress is achieved.

 

[BaronOfHair]

He's the expert. If he felt it important, he'd ask.

It's incumbent upon us to help others to help us. Not telling your shrink, in clear and direct language ("The thought of impregnating a woman terrifies me. So I'm pursuing women who are nearing-past menopause"), what's troubling you undercuts the prospects of treatment being effective

Also, if you haven't been listening to that audiobook

, taking notes, practicing what you've learned, and discussing it with your shrink, start doing so TODAY

 

[SW15]

I know a man whose ex-wife went off the pill without telling him (and ended up pregnant).

I also recall a female classmate in college telling me about a friend of hers who went off the pill to trap a boyfriend.

Your fears are not entirely irrational. Stuff like this happens. It's a risk of life.

A lot of childless men in the seduction lifestyle take precautions and manage to avoid unplanned pregnancy.

I've told you before that birth control is too risky. She could forget to take a pill (or purposely go off the pill without telling me).

Iron Rule of Tomassi #5
NEVER allow a woman to be in control of the birth.

Iron Rules – Page 2

Posts about Iron Rules written by Rollo Tomassi

therationalmale.com

I don't trust a woman's abilities to use birth control so I use condoms.

 

[jamesfromhouston]

Thought I'd just pop in here again as I've been experimenting on building a strategy to straight for "lay" date (with my newer/wavering plates) since my last reply to this read.

Recent 2 successes.

Plate 1

A relatively new plate I had been seeing. We've had sex a few times but things are still very cold. She is a bit withheld and conservative.

Most of the sex has happened after dating or doing some activities together, so recently I wanted to just go straight to sex without making her feel like a slut and trigger her ASD.

I made a date with her and told her we would go to a music performance. I did not buy the tickets. I just told her that I was not able to secure the tickets but we could listen to music at my place. She agreed and came over. Obviously, she knows what that offer meant but I think shooting her the invite like this by creating an acceptable context really helps her in processing her own conservatism on whether to sleep with me.

I think if I had asked her directly, hey do you want to come to my place to listen to music without creating the context, she would have hesitated and most likely said no.

We met up and banged. All is good. I am sure with time, she will be more receptive and I can just ask her direct.

Plate 2

A breaking plate I had been seeing on and off. She has been a bit on the fence because I feel like the relationship talk is coming up soon.

I've been inviting myself over to her place to have sex. And she has come to mine as well. We have only met for sex. But recent attempts to invite her out for our booty call has failed because I sense she wants something serious. But we have not had the talk yet.

Once again, sensing she is experiencing some hesitation on sex; I've been looking for the right context to meet up with her. In her case, she has been going through some trouble with a best friend. I've invited her over to talk in private about it. We do talk but also end up smashing after. I also told her if she ever wanted to have a heart to heart she is welcome every time. Of course she knows sex is in the picture but once again the context allows her to do it without feeling like a slut. And sex always makes her feel good about her friend troubles. So it works well.

 

[Pierce Manhammer]

Normally, the strict definition of a plate is she comes over to have sex, no fuss no muss no commitment (from either of you). Many men confuse plates with having multiple women that think you’re monogamous to them, not the same.

 

[BaronOfHair]

Normally, the strict definition of a plate...

How much more incentive do we all need to stop speaking and writing like The Manosphere equivalent of

, and rediscover Standard English? In this case, that might something like: "This broad and I are having casual sex 1-2 times per week"

It's tough to imagine society respecting men more than this MeToo-infused era currently does, when so many of us don't even respect ourselves enough to sound and look like

functional adults

 

[zekko]

Your mentation about pregnancy is not normal. Have you talked to a therapist about it?

I don't think it's unusual. Unwanted pregnancies are life changing events.

 

[BaronOfHair]

I don't think it's unusual. Unwanted pregnancies are life changing events.

GoodMan32 admits that his fear is crippling. THAT is unusual

 

[buddhafukko]

It also shows weakness.

Agreed, deceptively changing plans from the get go is very beta.

Not to mention, a date is to screen out the psychos before sticking your **** in crazy. Why would any self respecting man invite a total stranger into his home?