New Member Looking 4 Guidance!

[pLaYtHiNg]

Okay, so you're probably thinking I'm strange for joining a predominantly male forum for dating advice, but Cosmo just doesn't cut it. I'm 29 years old, been single for 7 months, (after sending an abusive ex to jail), and recently met someone I am totally head over heels in love with.

I think he likes me, (this sounds so third grade) and we talk about the future together, and becoming boyfriend/girlfriend but we're both very shy and usually no one ends up making any moves! Twice when we were drunk we hooked up. No sex, (I'm a "Good Girl") just the most amazing make outs I've ever had.

How can I figure out just how much he likes me, and/or to get him to make a move? We've become very close friends and talk about anything and everything, but I don't want to get stuck in the "Friend Zone!!" What should I do to get him to **** or get off the pot?? Also was wondering if an age difference is bothering him? He has asked on more than one occasion if I think he is "Too Young", (he is 22). Normally it would bother me, but his level of maturity and respect make age an easy thing to over look.

Everytime we're around each other I just turn into a puddle of Goo. Any advice???

 

[DJDamage]

Okay, so you're probably thinking I'm strange for joining a predominantly male forum for dating advice, but Cosmo just doesn't cut it. .

On the contrary, you are looking for attention and what better way of finding it by going on a predominantly male forum, and just because you are a "woman" it won't mean you are immune from getting the truth to your face (something that most women can't handle anyway) instead of wishy washy cosmo magazine.

So lets begin shell we?!

I'm 29 years old, been single for 7 months, (after sending an abusive ex to jail), and recently met someone I am totally head over heels in love with.

Thus far it sounds to me like you are damaged goods lady. I could understand leaving someone right off the bat if they hit you but when you described someone as being "an abusive ex", it means that you took that abuse for a while, it also means that if he is still in jail that it was very serious, and by even mentioning it you are using your supposed victimhood as a crutch to garner more support and sympathy. Not to mention that it now seems that you have issues of men as a result.

Hance the damaged goods label will stick.

I think he likes me, (this sounds so third grade) and we talk about the future together, and becoming boyfriend/girlfriend but we're both very shy and usually no one ends up making any moves! Twice when we were drunk we hooked up. No sex, (I'm a "Good Girl") just the most amazing make outs I've ever had.

You are not shy but he might be! and you are also not a "good girl" so please throw away those labels because they are useless on this forum. The good thing about it is that your horniness is still keeping you around despite his timid attitude. The bad news is that your patience will soon run out for him if in the next date or so he failes to show you why he is a man.

How can I figure out just how much he likes me, and/or to get him to make a move? We've become very close friends and talk about anything and everything, but I don't want to get stuck in the "Friend Zone!!" What should I do to get him to **** or get off the pot?? Also was wondering if an age difference is bothering him? He has asked on more than one occasion if I think he is "Too Young", (he is 22). Normally it would bother me, but his level of maturity and respect make age an easy thing to over look.

Your 29 and he is 22. For him you are the older experienced lady and right now he is probably inexperience but very excited to attempt to nail an older broad. If you are an attractive woman, you are not going to no friend zone! that sh1t only happens to guys or ugly fat chicks.

The best thing you can do is not scare him away with your experience. He has to find his inner man and take control. If he is still timid after the following make up session, rub his c0ck to make him hard and then give him a good BJ. That should help ease some tension.

 

[Gangster Of Love]

Oh no, Wyld has returned!!!!

 

[KontrollerX]

"Everytime we're around each other I just turn into a puddle of Goo. Any advice???"

Yeah.

Drop the little boy and see if you can handle DJDamage, Gangster of Love and myself at the same time.

If a little kid barely out of highschool can turn you into a puddle of goo just think of what three grown men who know exactly what you need can turn you into.

We'll wear you out like an Ashley Blue movie. :yes:

 

[Solomon]

"Everytime we're around each other I just turn into a puddle of Goo. Any advice???"

Yeah.

Drop the little boy and see if you can handle DJDamage, Gangster of Love and myself at the same time.

If a little kid barely out of highschool can turn you into a puddle of goo just think of what three grown men who know exactly what you need can turn you into.

We'll wear you out like an Ashley Blue movie. :yes:

man wtf?? ROFL

ayo kontroller you down with running trains? that is soooo 2007

funny ass post

 

[pLaYtHiNg]

DJDamage - I wouldn't say I necessarily joined for attention, but yes, for the in-your-face advice, which I expect and welcome. =) I can handle it.

1.) I had not intended to use my past abusive relationship as a "crutch" to garner more support. Please. I only wanted to provide a little background about me. Consider me damaged goods if you must, but I mention this because the "friend" I am talking about here has told me he is hesitant about making a move for fear of driving me away. (I should have mentioned that earlier). I am actively seeking wellness and independence, and now that I've met a "nice guy" and know how well I can be treated... I definitely want it. I genuinely care for this person a great deal.

2.) I AM quite shy.. in person. I am able to flirt with confidence when through e-mail or texting, but turn into an awkward dork around him. =) I wouldn't say that I am "horny" around him... and what I meant by "Good Girl" is even with a guy I like, I'm not just going to give it up until there's some security and safety in doing so. The fact that he is okay with that and has never pressured me, does make me want him something bad, however. The moves I want him to make aren't really sexual. More "couple like". Like, holding hands and all that mushy stuff. More making out. Maybe calling me his girlfriend. Is that so bad??

3.) Just how long would a guy remain friends with a woman who he only wants to have sex with? I don't consider myself ugly at all, and neither does he. I am pretty patient, and actually HE would be the more experienced one, I haven't been with many people, and he's been with a lot of women, (according to him). He def seems to know his way around a girl's body!

So, hopefully that's not too jumbled up, coming from the female mind. I just want to know how to go about attracting and keeping a "nice guy". That's all. =)

 

[magickarl]

3.) Just how long would a guy remain friends with a woman who he only wants to have sex with?

So, what your asking is how long is an acceptable period of time to be stingy with the vag?

Two weeks to one month. Maybe.


Seriously, dude is 22 years old. While I'm not going to say that he wants nothing but sex out of you, I can guarantee that sex is something that he wants. This isn't junior high kissy-kissy face business.

I know you want some sort of girl-friend/boy-friend commitment out of the guy, but in this day and age you have to let a man sample the milk before he buys the cow. I know that for myself, before I even consider dating a woman I have to know that there is sexual chemistry there.

My advice to you is this: Think about giving it up soon, or get used to the thought of making out with him --- after (possibly beforehand) which he goes out and gets a piece of ass from some highschool tart or lusty bar fly.

 

[vagrant]

You cannot be a girl. I've read your post over and over and I really don't think a girl would write such a thing especially a 29 year old. You are a woman close to being 30. HUH?!?!?! I don't know maybe it's just me.

If you are a woman like you say you are then just s*ck his d*ck already. Seriously no guy would put you in the friend zone if you let him f*ck you. I'm sorry if my advice doesn't help.

 

[dbot]

Personally, I wouldn't touch you with a 30 foot pole. This guy probably knows how fucked you are in the head and he won't dare do anything to further your relationship.

 

[pLaYtHiNg]

MagicKarl - LOL I've been stingy for over two months, but we both definitely know the chemistry is there. We've been extremely close to having sex, and been very hands-on, but I am waiting until, yes, I get some sort of exclusive dating arrangement. I'm not asking for marriage here, so what's the big deal on waiting? I know he wants sex, and trust me, I want it just as badly. However, I am just not going to give it up after knowing someone for 2 months. I have morals and growing self-respect. =)

Vagrant - Not sure what you mean by I cannot be a girl. I most definitley am and thanks for your advice, I appreciate it as well.

Dbot - Nobody's perfect.

 

[pLaYtHiNg]

Okay so I professed my feelings through an e-mail and got this in return. Opinions, guys? Was I gently turned down??

"Hey well im really glad you sent me the e-mail Because i was
feeling the same way. But i would have never told you for i fear it
would have changed our relationship we have now. And i wouldn't want
that to change, Well only for the good. But now that it is all out i
can tell you that i haven't really been able to really connect to anyone
like i have with you. And it feels good. Like you already know my past
an know i don't have money an well just little things like that. I don't
feel like i have to hide anything from you.



And so you know i wont forget you when im off doing my thing.lol
There is deff something more there for that to happen. But i guess the biggest reason why i never REALLY told you how i fell is because i didn't know where i stood in your heart. And i didn't want to push you away in any way. I was good just being there for you and talking an having a good
relationship. But im glad that maybe one day it can go further. But as
for now i cant really even support my self more less anything else. So
that is another reason why i have to go and get a good education. So
that i can get out get a good job an maybe run us away back to Kentucky
or hell somewhere iv or you have never been. I think that would be
really cool. But i have to get my foot in the door now so that can
happen.

Well i guess im going to go for my hike an think of things let my thoughts run the hills So write me back when you can an have a good night at work. ima go now "

By "Going" he is referring to the fact that he just left for Job Corps today. =( I understand if he doesn't want the baggage of a girlfriend while also bettering himself, and we will definitely still hang out...

 

[pLaYtHiNg]

Wolf, thanks for your response. I am back to pink now

If guys turned into puddles when a girl they liked walked by, interpreting their every word wouldn't be necessary.

I was thrown off by all the "some day" BS too, and for the record, I want it just as bad, if not worse then he does. However I am taking my time because good things are worth waiting for. I also fear that becoming sexual before a relationship has a good foundation will just turn the relationship strictly sexual. I seriously do not want that. I could be falling in love with this man, he is the sweetest, most thoughtful, gentle and OPEN man I've ever met, and those qualities drive me absolutely insane. LOL When we do do the deed, I'm making darn sure he wants to come back for seconds.

 

[The Logical Player]

this is some big time gayness - exchanging these love letters and talking about all of these feelings, without even ever having sex OR kissing

you are both delusional morons, and you can't be helped because you and your "boyfriend" are the type of people who will never follow the advice given to them

 

[Rhoto]

^ This.

 

[SamePendo]

Wolf, thanks for your response. I am back to pink now

If guys turned into puddles when a girl they liked walked by, interpreting their every word wouldn't be necessary.

I was thrown off by all the "some day" BS too, and for the record, I want it just as bad, if not worse then he does. However I am taking my time because good things are worth waiting for. I also fear that becoming sexual before a relationship has a good foundation will just turn the relationship strictly sexual. I seriously do not want that. I could be falling in love with this man, he is the sweetest, most thoughtful, gentle and OPEN man I've ever met, and those qualities drive me absolutely insane. LOL When we do do the deed, I'm making darn sure he wants to come back for seconds.

All I've been able to read in your post is pink letters. Pink turns me on. So holla at me girl! PM me!

 

[horaholic]

OP. We can offer you more advice if you describe yourself physically.

 

[pLaYtHiNg]

Wolf - Thanks for your thoughts. He has seen me topless, LOL I believe he liked what he saw.

My issues: I don't know if he is waiting for ME to be ready for a relationship, or if HE is the one who's waiting to be ready. We aren't boyfriend/girlfriend yet.

I am confused because for the most part when we hang out, it's as friends, but twice we've made out and nearly had sex.

I don't want to have sex until I feel as though I am doing it within the context of a monogamous relationship.

How would you recommend I go about determining the answers to my questions? It would be really awkward for me if he told me he wasn't ready to have a relationship.

Horaholic are you referring to me?? LOL What does that have to do with anything? I'm average height, weight, appearance. Nothing special really. I have a photo uploaded on my profile here I think.

 

[KRUT]

Most of the guys are not going to commit to a monogamous relationship before they know there will be sex in that relationship. He would be much more likely to commit to you and to try to make the relationship work with his pursuit of education if you were having sex. Relationship with sex is more valuable relationship.

 

[DJDamage]

My issues: I don't know if he is waiting for ME to be ready for a relationship, or if HE is the one who's waiting to be ready. We aren't boyfriend/girlfriend yet.

That's the problem, you haven't even had sex and you are already thinking relationship. First have the sex (if it ever comes) then wait and see what else he will decide to do.

I am confused because for the most part when we hang out, it's as friends, but twice we've made out and nearly had sex.

Then why didn't you have sex?! Have you ever thought that maybe (oh I hate to use this cliche) "He is not that into you?!" and he maybe just keeping you around because he has no one else around at the moment and you are just practice?! Not saying its so but any guy that hasn't tried yet to get in your pants by now might have some issues.

I don't want to have sex until I feel as though I am doing it within the context of a monogamous relationship.

Don't play those games, we guys know how you chicks operate by trying to entrap us with your poon. The advice we give guys on this site is that if they meet a woman who makes you wait for the sex, then the sex ain't worth it.

How would you recommend I go about determining the answers to my questions? It would be really awkward for me if he told me he wasn't ready to have a relationship..

Again don't ask. If he wants you around he will call, if you make him happy then he will want to hang around you more often and that's the best it can be. Its that simple.

I'm average height, weight, appearance. Nothing special really. I have a photo uploaded on my profile here I think.

May I suggest posting a better picture if you already done so? you look like one of those crazy artsy chicks who are bipolar's and yes it is experience talking here. Drop the pose, take off that stupid hat and smile! and a little cleavege shot wouldn't hurt either....

 

[KontrollerX]

Here's some wisdom of the poster Rollo Tomassi for you which may help you out Plaything...

Iron Rule of Tomassi #3
Any woman who makes you wait for sex, or by her actions implies she is making you wait for sex; the sex is NEVER worth the wait.

This also applies to women's "sexual filibustering".

When a woman makes you wait for sex you are not her highest priority. Sexuality is spontaneous, chemical reaction between two parties, not a process of negotiation. It's sex first, then relationship, not the other way around. A woman who wants to ƒuck you will fly across the country, crawl under barbwire, climb in through your second story bedroom window, ƒuck you like a porn star and wait patiently inside your closet if your wife/GF comes home early from work - women who want to ƒuck will find a way to ƒuck. The girl who tells you she wants a relationship first or "just isn't comfortable with you yet" is the same girl who ƒucked the "totally hot guy" in the foam cannon party in Cancun with her girlfriends on spring break half an hour after meeting him.

If a girl is that into you she'll ƒuck regardless of ASD or having her friends in the room videotaping it at a frat party. All women can be sexual, you just have to be the right guy to bring it out in them, and this happens before you go back to her place. If you have to plead your case cuddling and spooning on the bed or getting the occasional peck on the cheek, you need to go back to square one and start fresh. You cannot negotiate genuine desire.

So yeah get to fvckin and suckin already.

No real man who knows his value will allow himself to be blue balled for long.