New Member Looking 4 Guidance!

pLaYtHiNg

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I know, I know, I KNOW I should ignore him... so can I stay away? Of course not. I feel like such an idiot. I know I am not doing what's best for me emotionally, by responding when he texts, or answering when he calls, but curiosity always gets the best of me. I know I bring this on myself.

So today, out of the blue, S*** texts me...

HIM: Hey you want to go camping with me and my gf?

ME: When?

HIM: Today. Want to leave pretty soon and set up camp.

ME: Ok, I was gonna go to Bingo with your ma, but she didn't answer. plus I get paid 2day.

HIM: O really well if you want to go with her you should. :) Sounds like fun. So if you want to go let me know. I am trying to get guys to go...

HIM: :) Well just let me know. I miss ya too. If not camping then just come and chill with us? Maybe drink some?

****Did he just say he missed me, (too????) wtf??

ME: Me 2 :) well I'll c if your ma wants to go to Bingo, if not maybe tomorrow cuz there's always Bingo tomorrow. :)

HIM: Well do you want some guys to go? I'm waiting 4 some to text me back. But if not it would be us three. If you don't mind.

ME: Well, ur mom just canceled so yeah let's do this! Thanks 4 inviting me :)

ME: Sure :) and don't worry about me babe, I can hang. I'm going to get my check now and I'm ready to go :)

HIM: Well, do you have anybody you know that might want to go?

ME: No, but am fine with the three of us if it's not weird for u lol ;) Does ur gf have a car? Do u need a ride?

ME: Wait I might know a couple that might want to go. it's short notice tho.

HIM: Okay cool, not weird for me :) and u should call them and see what's up. O and no car. We would need a ride. I was going to take the van but...

ME: LoL I'll pick you guys up and I asked Paula and her Hubby 2 go, no word back yet. And it's not weird for me either, that's coo! SUMDAY tho... jk ;)

HIM: F*** well I don't know what's going on now. She is being weird. Let me see what's up give me a min.

ME: Ok, I'm sorry, did I offend her? I was only half serious. I hope everything is okay. :/ I really would like to c u.

Later...

ME: Hey babe I just made other plans. Sorry if I caused problems 4 u, I was jokin' ya know? Neways, call me so we can talk. Hope everything's okay.

He called me a little while after this text message, and said his girlfriend didn't get mad about the comment I made. (Not sure if I believe him), but I felt guilty afterwards even saying something like that to him when I know he has someone.

How utterly pathetic am I? I was going to give them a ride and stuff? I apparently DO still like him more than I thought. I wish sometimes he would lose my phone number... as I never contact him anymore... he contacts me. And not just when he wants something, but you know, to talk and see how I am. I suppose we are keeping each other on the back burner, so to speak.

I was excited at the time, but now I feel dumb. I am a little confused as to why he would invite me to go in the first place? He KNOWS how I felt/feel (eh) about him. Is he truly just trying to keep me as a friend, if nothing else?

Hoping for a threesome? LOL

He also mentioned introducing me to one of his friends. I'm hopefully meeting him tomorrow. And no, this isn't to distract me... because I have my own life and haven't been talking to S*** that much, only when he contacts me.

I would normally take this as he "just wants to be friends" but reading about how men and women supposedly "just can't be friends" is a little confusing to me.

Why does he still contact me even though he has a girlfriend?

Is he playing games with me? Is he TRYING to hurt me? I really don't think he's trying to FLAUNT his new girlfriend in front of me? Should I tell him how I feel, even though it won't change a thing?

He is definitely my "One-itis". (I am reading up on that, but putting things into motion is difficult).

Some days I really hate being a woman. I know that most of you guys would have no problems cutting off contact for good. As mentioned before, I DO know that I am doing this to myself by responding every time he texts or calls. I KNOW. :cry:

Rip away, boyz.



 
Last edited:

Mr CIDH

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All AFCs should read this.

pLaYtHiNg said:
I know, I know, I KNOW I should ignore him... so can I stay away? Of course not. I feel like such an idiot. I know I am not doing what's best for me emotionally, by responding when he texts, or answering when he calls, but curiosity always gets the best of me. I know I bring this on myself.

So today, out of the blue, S*** texts me...

HIM: Hey you want to go camping with me and my gf?

ME: When?

HIM: Today. Want to leave pretty soon and set up camp.

ME: Ok, I was gonna go to Bingo with your ma, but she didn't answer. plus I get paid 2day.

HIM: O really well if you want to go with her you should. :) Sounds like fun. So if you want to go let me know. I am trying to get guys to go...

HIM: :) Well just let me know. I miss ya too. If not camping then just come and chill with us? Maybe drink some?

****Did he just say he missed me, (too????) wtf??

ME: Me 2 :) well I'll c if your ma wants to go to Bingo, if not maybe tomorrow cuz there's always Bingo tomorrow. :)

HIM: Well do you want some guys to go? I'm waiting 4 some to text me back. But if not it would be us three. If you don't mind.

ME: Well, ur mom just canceled so yeah let's do this! Thanks 4 inviting me :)

ME: Sure :) and don't worry about me babe, I can hang. I'm going to get my check now and I'm ready to go :)

HIM: Well, do you have anybody you know that might want to go?

ME: No, but am fine with the three of us if it's not weird for u lol ;) Does ur gf have a car? Do u need a ride?

ME: Wait I might know a couple that might want to go. it's short notice tho.

HIM: Okay cool, not weird for me :) and u should call them and see what's up. O and no car. We would need a ride. I was going to take the van but...

ME: LoL I'll pick you guys up and I asked Paula and her Hubby 2 go, no word back yet. And it's not weird for me either, that's coo! SUMDAY tho... jk ;)

HIM: F*** well I don't know what's going on now. She is being weird. Let me see what's up give me a min.

ME: Ok, I'm sorry, did I offend her? I was only half serious. I hope everything is okay. :/ I really would like to c u.

Later...

ME: Hey babe I just made other plans. Sorry if I caused problems 4 u, I was jokin' ya know? Neways, call me so we can talk. Hope everything's okay.

He called me a little while after this text message, and said his girlfriend didn't get mad about the comment I made. (Not sure if I believe him), but I felt guilty afterwards even saying something like that to him when I know he has someone.

How utterly pathetic am I? I was going to give them a ride and stuff? I apparently DO still like him more than I thought. I wish sometimes he would lose my phone number... as I never contact him anymore... he contacts me. And not just when he wants something, but you know, to talk and see how I am. I suppose we are keeping each other on the back burner, so to speak.

I was excited at the time, but now I feel dumb. I am a little confused as to why he would invite me to go in the first place? He KNOWS how I felt/feel (eh) about him. Is he truly just trying to keep me as a friend, if nothing else?

Hoping for a threesome? LOL

He also mentioned introducing me to one of his friends. I'm hopefully meeting him tomorrow. And no, this isn't to distract me... because I have my own life and haven't been talking to S*** that much, only when he contacts me.

I would normally take this as he "just wants to be friends" but reading about how men and women supposedly "just can't be friends" is a little confusing to me.

Why does he still contact me even though he has a girlfriend?

Is he playing games with me? Is he TRYING to hurt me? I really don't think he's trying to FLAUNT his new girlfriend in front of me? Should I tell him how I feel, even though it won't change a thing?

He is definitely my "One-itis". (I am reading up on that, but putting things into motion is difficult).

Some days I really hate being a woman. I know that most of you guys would have no problems cutting off contact for good. As mentioned before, I DO know that I am doing this to myself by responding every time he texts or calls. I KNOW. :cry:

Rip away, boyz.



*** ATTENTION *** Real life female species example here.

AFC guys, read this. No interest makes a woman stalk you. This is a good example of how desperate women can become. Read carefully but beware. Female unlogic detected. Analyze and learn.

- girl meets guy
- guy shows no interest
- guy gets other girl
- guy says: no interest
- woman stays clingy for the not interested guy
- guy shows no interest
- woman gets desperate
- woman gets even wilder after possible hope and rejection -> emotions
- guy shows no interest
- woman even considers 'threesome'

Point of interest: woman who wouldn't do sex easily normally will consider sex to win over a not-interested man.

Point of interest: woman lacks any logic to see whats going on.

Conclusion: No-interest in a man creates a heavy attraction to a woman. Woman has no idea what happens and considers sex. This is how you get chicks in bed. Pretend: no interest.
 

pLaYtHiNg

Senior Don Juan
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Mr CIDH said:
- girl meets guy
- guy shows no interest
- guy gets other girl
- guy says: no interest
- woman stays clingy for the not interested guy
- guy shows no interest
- woman gets desperate
- woman gets even wilder after possible hope and rejection -> emotions
- guy shows no interest
- woman even considers 'threesome'

Point of interest: woman who wouldn't do sex easily normally will consider sex to win over a not-interested man.

Point of interest: woman lacks any logic to see whats going on.

Conclusion: No-interest in a man creates a heavy attraction to a woman. Woman has no idea what happens and considers sex. This is how you get chicks in bed. Pretend: no interest.
Wow, have you seriously been reading EVERYTHING I've been writing? I think not! It should go something like this:

- Girl and Guy Meet

- Guy expresses IOI's in Girl
(No interest? He *began* the flirting and such).

- Girl reciprocates IOI's

- Girl and Guy make out. Guy initiates.

- Girl begins expressing interest in more, (yes, may have gotten a little clingy during this time) But then...

- Girl GIVES GUY PLENTY OF SPACE!
(How can you say that I'm clingy when I have not initiated contact, since the last 'cave' on the 19th? I initiated TWICE in a MONTH! That's clingy to you? LOL LOL)

- Guy leaves for Job Corps/Meets Girl #2/Begins Dating her.

- Guy still initiates contact with Girl #1.

- Girl #1 *WONDERS* why Guy is inviting her to camp with he and his Girlfriend? Imagines he may try to engage a threesome. I NEVER, EVER "considered" a three-some.

- Girl is NO LONGER INTERESTED and NO LONGER CONTACTS GUY.

The only honest thing I can agree with is that yes, I was willing to take the advice of others and try having sex in an effort 'to increase my value to him'. Saying that he was never interested just isn't true.

I know I'm not perfect, never claimed to be. That's why I'm here in the first place... to learn.

I was fine until HE text ME, then the whole confusion came back. So that's drama I'm just not willing to go through. You either like me, or you don't, and I really don't care... just leave me the heck alone if you're dating someone else!

I know you're trying to make an example of me, but let me ask that you are at least accurate in doing so.

Secondly, the method you are trying to prove works, DIDN'T. LOL :)
 

EnjoysWatches

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You are so ridiculously clingy. Why this guy is still around I have no clue. He needs to get out while he still can.
 

pLaYtHiNg

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EnjoysWatches said:
You are so ridiculously clingy. Why this guy is still around I have no clue. He needs to get out while he still can
You are so ridiculously ignorant, as you haven't read anything I wrote. I express myself here, not to him. If ceasing (the initiation) of contact and exploring other options is your definition of "clingy" then I'd be obliged to think you have zero experience with women at all.
 

pua1989

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pLaYtHiNg said:
You are so ridiculously ignorant, as you haven't read anything I wrote. I express myself here, not to him. If ceasing (the initiation) of contact and exploring other options is your definition of "clingy" then I'd be obliged to think you have zero experience with women at all.
but you didnt "cease all contact" with him..i seem to remember you saying "i caved in and texted him" once or twice...and then when you were finally MAYBE forgetting about it you offered to give him and his GIRLFRIEND a ride to a camping trip where youd be the third wheel after a few text messages. if that isnt clingy......

i will admit it is kinda weird for him to invite you along
 

pLaYtHiNg

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pua1989 said:
but you didnt "cease all contact" with him..i seem to remember you saying "i caved in and texted him" once or twice...
I haven't "initiated" contact in about 3 weeks.

pua1989 said:
and then when you were finally MAYBE forgetting about it you offered to give him and his GIRLFRIEND a ride to a camping trip where youd be the third wheel after a few text messages. if that isnt clingy......
This is true... I did miss him as a friend, most of all. Hindsight is always 20/20... and I realized before even posting this, how it would make me seem, but you know the truth is the truth, and I'm not going to conceal that.

pua1989 said:
i will admit it is kinda weird for him to invite you along
Yes, this is what had me trippin'... I'm thinkin' if your girl knew, (the truth about everything)... she probably wouldn't be down for me going with them at all... LOL

So well, as an update... I'm doing very well. I haven't talked to him at all... and I'm fine. I know that sooner or later he will call or text me and I'll have to face it in some way, so hopefully I'll be prepared. I am not sure how I will handle it yet. Any ideas?

P.S. So are you ever going to tell me what a "slooter" is? hehe
 

Mr CIDH

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pLaYtHiNg said:
Wow, have you seriously been reading EVERYTHING I've been writing? I think not! It should go something like this:

- Girl and Guy Meet

- Guy expresses IOI's in Girl
(No interest? He *began* the flirting and such).

- Girl reciprocates IOI's

- Girl and Guy make out. Guy initiates.

- Girl begins expressing interest in more, (yes, may have gotten a little clingy during this time) But then...

- Girl GIVES GUY PLENTY OF SPACE!
(How can you say that I'm clingy when I have not initiated contact, since the last 'cave' on the 19th? I initiated TWICE in a MONTH! That's clingy to you? LOL LOL)

- Guy leaves for Job Corps/Meets Girl #2/Begins Dating her.

- Guy still initiates contact with Girl #1.

- Girl #1 *WONDERS* why Guy is inviting her to camp with he and his Girlfriend? Imagines he may try to engage a threesome. I NEVER, EVER "considered" a three-some.

- Girl is NO LONGER INTERESTED and NO LONGER CONTACTS GUY.

The only honest thing I can agree with is that yes, I was willing to take the advice of others and try having sex in an effort 'to increase my value to him'. Saying that he was never interested just isn't true.

I know I'm not perfect, never claimed to be. That's why I'm here in the first place... to learn.

I was fine until HE text ME, then the whole confusion came back. So that's drama I'm just not willing to go through. You either like me, or you don't, and I really don't care... just leave me the heck alone if you're dating someone else!

I know you're trying to make an example of me, but let me ask that you are at least accurate in doing so.

Secondly, the method you are trying to prove works, DIDN'T. LOL :)
PlAyThInG I don't have anything against you.. do not mistake jokes for dislike or "not wanting you here".
Pua is right. You are clingy. This is not friends attention you hope for you are in denial. You even post about him, that is no "friends" hope. It is funny to see you think the way you do, gives some inside on the behaviour i see i women i meet. (self denial) But yah you need to get back to reality. Because you dont.

Dude may have had interest in you, flirted some, whatever, but it it is over now. Dude has a GF .. so the best you can get now is a one night stand and him cheating if you continue. That was not what you wanted. You wanted him as a BF. Yet you keep thinking "what does he want" and keep hope up. That is what I see. "I know, I know, I KNOW I should ignore him... so can I stay away?". Reality check: you are not gonna get him as a BF. Best way is to get over an oneitis is to cut off contact completely. However you do not do this. He is into your brain, mind, emotions. He would not been if he had AFC clinged on you.

I've seen the same thing with some women I flirted with, some get crazy on no serious interest at some point, go in self denial, keep clinging on "I just wanna be friends" and make 1000 exuses for themselves yet try to get my attention every time. It is fun for me, but yah some women are nuts. And I love it. But it is not good for you.

Follow the golden rule of dating: no interest means move on. Any time you spend thinking on him you miss out a chance to meet another guy.
Self improvement is good, stop hoping on a not gonna happen one-itis is something you should add in that definately. Quit those off. Learn that from this forum and quit feeling attacked on any advice your given that you don't wanna hear.
 

pLaYtHiNg

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I DON'T INITIATE CONTACT WITH THIS GUY ANY MORE!!!!

Goodness, I am saying is that everytime I'm doing well, he'll text or call me, and it does mess me up, wondering wtf he wants/what is his motivation for contacting me. I DON'T, as in, DO NOT EVER initiate contact, as in I AM TRYING TO MOVE ON.

My fault is responding when he initiates, that I will admit. :(

I know people who are clingy, they text and call like 20 times a day.
 

EnjoysWatches

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Untrue. I read about 3-4 pages of it and just had to say something. Your what... 29 years old. You talk as if your 12. Hell you open a conversation with "Hey turd" I mean come on. Grow up first then go out for relationships.
 
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