DonGorgon
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Nov 28, 2007
- Messages
- 4,685
- Reaction score
- 103
kingvavy said:Hi, I'm a newbie. First post. Married 7 years, 2 kids. Kids are 2 and 5. I work and earn more than enough for everyone. We have a nanny, and wife goes to a health club 5 days a week. Been sleeping in a separate bed for almost 10 months. No sex. No affection. Nothing. Wife blames all of our problems on me. Refuses to want to reconnect. We separated for 4 months. I've been back in the house for about 6 months now. We we're in counseling, then she ended it. The counseling gave me some insight into how I can improve things. It helped to defuse the anger, but when it came time to "reconnecting" she said she wasn't interested. Last week I was at the end of my rope and I stumbled onto this forum. I now realize, after reading through this forum, that I'm one of those super nice guys who keeps doing nice things, and that she has lost respect for me.
So I am an AFC. Big time. I get it. I made a few changes over the last week, and I've noticed a minor shift. I told her that the health club, and the nanny are luxuries and that given that she does not want to sleep in the same bed with me, or have a relationship, that I'm done paying for luxuries. She whipped her wedding ring off, threw it at my head and said "sell it, and give me the money. Then I will pay for the health club." I did slip a day later, and told her I wouldn't get rid of her membership, but for about a day I felt like a man. I have stopped showing her attention. I'm not ignoring her out of spite, or as a power-grab. I'm doing it because I'm sick of letting this person and their issues prevent me from having a happy life. I go out with friends, play sports, and generally try to enjoy myself as much as possible.
I do still love my wife very much, and deep in my heart I want to revive our relationship. I get that my nice guy ways have played a role in her losing respect for me. Thanks for listening to my story...p.s. it's our anniversary next week. My plan is to do and say nothing. If she makes a stink, I will tell her that there is no reason to celebrate given that we don't have a relationship. Advice is greatly appreciated!
typical and sad i keep telling men t stop getting married and having kids with tis his ... its too late fork you.. file for divorce now and cut your losses this situation will not get better and the longer you stay in the more broken you will be in the end ...yes you will have too pay but thats you punishment for getting marred...
pack up and move on now before she breaks you ben more..