Narcissism

[Blue Phoenix]

That's one of the reasons why I don't like narcissists!

What comes to mind is the Narcissist who co-opts others to carry out her functions. For example the narcissist doesn’t have the ability to feel empathy for others, and uses others as her narcissist supply, needing constant approval, strokes and identity assurance. The narcissist personality is not what society assumes, having a ‘big ego, just the opposite, they use the ego (executive of the self) of others because they are truly empty. Once these needs are not getting met any longer, the narcissist personality will easily dump the target and move onto the next. Quite different from the borderline personality, a narcissist personality is extremely good at manipulating, and their defensives are more advanced then the borderline personality.

Quote from: http://www.toddlertime.com/borderline/manipulation.htm

 

[Matt Rogers]

Thanks Screwit, I recognise a lot of myself in your descriptions. I think too much, analyse too much, and always look serious and anxious. Recognition is the first step towards cure, so will follow your steps. Thanks man.

 

[Matt Rogers]

Oh and Blue Phoenix. You go on a lot about how you don't like narcissists. You should not let other people bother you so much. Trust me most narcissists aren't very happy at all. If you aren't one, be happy and try not to let those who are manipulate you.

 

[Blue Phoenix]

Originally posted by Matt Rogers
Oh and Blue Phoenix. You go on a lot about how you don't like narcissists. You should not let other people bother you so much. Trust me most narcissists aren't very happy at all. If you aren't one, be happy and try not to let those who are manipulate you.

I agree! That's why I read about them so I can defend myself.
Most narcissists are not happy, because of their problems and emptiness.

They need constant supplies (adoration, love, admiration, fame, etc) otherwise they feel bad. They're dependent on this like a drug. Who in this world would be happy living this way? Maybe, the only thing that may save narcissists is to read about narcissism so they can see where they're making mistakes!

Anyway, it's nothing personal (you may not be like the ones I've met)!

 

[ScrewIt]

Originally posted by Blue Phoenix
I agree! That's why I read about them so I can defend myself.
Most narcissists are not happy, because of their problems and emptiness.

They need constant supplies (adoration, love, admiration, fame, etc) otherwise they feel bad. They're dependent on this like a drug. Who in this world would be happy living this way? Maybe, the only thing that may save narcissists is to read about narcissism so they can see where they're making mistakes!

Anyway, it's nothing personal (you may not be like the ones I've met)!

Deffend from what? there's absolutely nothing to defend !!
i believe that would classify as a paranoid state of mind?

The thing is that you're so well aware of your surroundings because it just bugs you that someone may be looking at you, that you have to keep your alert level on high.
And when that's the situation, most of the time you're well aware of who's looking at you... esp if the girls are checking you out

man one time, my friend mentioned to me that it bugs him when guys look at him and that he wants to punch them or something...
he's fairly good looking, so i wouldnt blame them for looking

 

[B9]

narcissism seems to me to be the most widespread affliction of all recovering AFCs/aspiring DJs on these boards. Have never encountered so much as on here.

Good thread though. Am well impressed by the people with the honesty to identify and work with it. we all suffer from it to a certain extent.

 

[B9]

mm, took the test low on all accounts except narccisism which came as 'moderate'.

am I the only one who thinks the test is fundamentally flawed in only assuming defects?

I found the tickle.com test quite accurate though. Usually, I can suss those tests out and their limitations, but not this one.

you're an Observer!
That means you're one of the more kind-hearted people around. You are unusually intuitive, and you probably understand yourself, as well as others. That also means you're a good mediator — though you may prefer to spend more quiet time on your own than most. Because of the self-knowledge you already possess, you are better equipped than many to steer your life in the right direction. Understanding more about the components of your personality will reveal unique information that even people like you might not realize. And the better you know yourself, the more confident you'll be making decisions that affect your life. How do we know this about you? Because while taking the test, you answered questions that measure the basic traits that make up your personality. We scored your answers on different personality characteristics and discovered not only that you're an Observer, but where you stand on those proven scientific scales.

===

You are an indispensable equalizer amongst the various groups that comprise your life. You feel that the spotlight and center stage were made for other people to act out their fantasies.

Perhaps an overly optimistic assessment and would have been interesting if the analysis had some more critical assesment, but having practise Zen and meditated for the past six years, I find that my personality has very much gravitated towards observing things, both myself and others.

 

[Blue Phoenix]

Originally posted by B9
narcissism seems to me to be the most widespread affliction of all recovering AFCs/aspiring DJs on these boards. Have never encountered so much as on here.

Good thread though. Am well impressed by the people with the honesty to identify and work with it. we all suffer from it to a certain extent.

Yes, you're right. See this list about female narcissists:

The Narcissist: This woman believes on some level that the world is focused on her. A common misperception is that a narcissistic person is merely vain and self-centered. This is not always so, and in many cases the narcissist carries a lot of self-hate. The narcissist is extremely paranoid about the image she presents to others, and fosters a preoccupation with herself. She is defined by how other people see her.

- She's extremely concerned with what other people think of her
- Preoccupied with external validation and approval – requires excessive admiration
- Very internally focused
- Cannot see other people’s points of view
- Has boundary issues
- Has a highly underdeveloped sense of humor, especially unable to laugh at herself
- Lack of empathy for others
- Insecure and envious
- Has a sense of entitlement

From the dating black book.

If you meet some like those beware!

I don't think there's a difference between male and female narcissists.