My relentless journal for 2014

[narcissist]

Lastly.

Thanks to everyone thats shooting me advice!

Much appreciated. I definitely read it and use it!



If you want to check out todays post its on page 3

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[narcissist]

Wow! 1000 views. Awesome.

Today was pretty chill.


Got a job at the bingo place across my street.

Going to game every goddammn girl there.


Also went out to a movie with hbMMM.

Kinda a little confused with this one on how to continue pursuing sex with this plate. She is getting upset that i am still talking to other girls and is pushing hard for exclusivity. She is also asking me if i have feelings for her, just straight up blatantly. I keep avoiding it. Seeing as i dont want a relationship and would much rather continue spinning plates.

We were messing around in the car on her phone and she showed me a picture of this guy that she said was really cute. I think she was trying to get a rise outta me, but i laughed along and said he was sexy (no homo). Sometimes I say sh1t like that to throw them off, and it works. Agreeing with them is better then getting upset and showing that your emotionally affected.

We were then going through her instagram pictures and i saw her with this adorable chick and jokingly asked her to hook me up with her. She didn't catch on and thought i was being serious because i consistently give off the air of being a player. Well, needless to say I don't think she liked it. BUT i could care less. Haha. I don't submit to b1tches NOR change my frame or attitude to fit a woman's personality. I am who I am and I will not censure myself or my words to make a woman happy.

Anyways after the movie when i got dropped off she sent me this:

hbMMM text: I just wanna know why you always have to act the way you doooooooo like stop

me: haha and what way would that be?

hbMMM text: you always have to mention girls, you always have to act like your soooo biggggg whyyyyyy, no normal guy talks to THAT many girls, and they dont ask the girl their with to hook them up with their friends like do you have feelings or nah


I didnt message back. I feel like sex with this plate is reaching a point of being unsalvageable. I might have to drop.

This is the sh1tty thing about plate spinning. its always a toss up. Either you get a good fvck buddy or you get a girl that wants to be exclusive and eventually leaves when you dont offer exclusivity on the table.

Nonetheless, it isnt the end of the world. The sun will rise tomorrow, and I will continue my path to greatness, with or without this plate.


One thing that I really have to work on is not being so OPEN about the amount of women that I am talking to, and telling these girls about my player'esk like character. I think being to open and blatantly honest about it eventually turns them off. I have to hint at it. Hint at being in abundance mindset. Make it subtly obvious and apparent. I believe that claiming to be a player and having women will often have the opposite effect. At first the woman will be intrigued, but eventually it will make them turn the other way. The reason for this is because when you make it obvious that you are a player it reeks of insecurity. It shows the woman that you are trying to instill in her a perceived value of yourself.


NOW, I am not saying to be a white knight faggot. Obviously make it apparent that you get b1tches. Women love a man that is surrounded by other women. Just dont go up to her and flat out say "hey guess what? I am talking to 100 women right now, Im a player."

You have to make it more subtle. The key word here is subtly obvious.


I have to work on this. But even further then that I have to work on the root cause of this, which is insecurity. I need to work on my insecurities if I plan on becoming a true Don Juan.

Man, every day I find myself getting closer and closer to don juanism, but conversely I see my self being further and further away from being a true don juan. Much work left to do. Much much work.

 

[jurry]

Great posts as always narcissist. How is it that she knows you are talking to other girls anyways? Or is she just assuming?

Either way, from what I've read through your posts she seems like a really cool chick and you bring her up quite a bit.. so why not drop your guard a bit and let her in a bit and see where it goes? Are you really not interested in a relationship or are you just scared of being hurt? I'm not saying you're going to be exclusive and marry the girl but I guess it brings up a larger question of how a DJ ever develops a longer term relationship or puts himself on the line with a chick if he is always just cycling through different plates and not being attached to any one in particular. Or is that the most sensible way to live, just sit back and let girls come in and out as they do, never promising any kind of real relationship to any of them, because nothing lasts anyway? I don't know. I guess I've laid it out a bit black and white and nothing is that way but oh well.

 

[narcissist]

Great posts as always narcissist. How is it that she knows you are talking to other girls anyways? Or is she just assuming?

Either way, from what I've read through your posts she seems like a really cool chick and you bring her up quite a bit.. so why not drop your guard a bit and let her in a bit and see where it goes? Are you really not interested in a relationship or are you just scared of being hurt? I'm not saying you're going to be exclusive and marry the girl but I guess it brings up a larger question of how a DJ ever develops a longer term relationship or puts himself on the line with a chick if he is always just cycling through different plates and not being attached to any one in particular. Or is that the most sensible way to live, just sit back and let girls come in and out as they do, never promising any kind of real relationship to any of them, because nothing lasts anyway? I don't know. I guess I've laid it out a bit black and white and nothing is that way but oh well.

Good question. The reason that she knows I am talking to other woman is because I don't hide it from her. Lol. Like Ill be texting other bishes when i am with her and she watches me do it. Or she'll be like what are you doing tonight and I'll say "going on a date with this cutie i met the other day" Lol.

And I am not lying about it either to instill jealousy. When I say im going on a date its true, Im just being honest with her, because I have a lot of options so she knows that if she leaves I wouldn't care. I can tell shes getting upset about it though. AND, I have realized something more:

Realization: If i want to continue spinning plates and sleeping with these girls consistently without the notion of exclusivity then I must make it way more subtle. WHY you may ask? Because the more a woman knows that the guy she is dealing with has a lot of options she will push more and more for exclusivity because she wants to "win" the guy from these other woman. The more woman the bigger the prize. The bigger the prize the stronger her push for exclusivity. SO If i make it more subtle then the woman may prolong pushing for exclusivity.


As to your other question regarding whether i should drop my guard a bit. I am thinking that, that might be the only way to prolong sexual interaction with this girl. She is pretty cool i guess but DEFINITELY not relationship material. So even if i let my guard down I 100% dont see it going anywhere in terms of LTR, nor do i even want and LTR right now, as I just got out of a long/bad/emotionally heartbreaking LTR 6 months ago.

I am not sure if I am scared of being hurt again. I can guarantee that this bish cant hurt me. She just isnt at that level. Not to sound narcissistic

I do not claim to be a DJ, but i claim to be an apprentice in Don Juanism. So I am not sure how a DJ considers LTRs and relationships over spinning plates. Im sure it varies accross the board. Some DJs are into LTRs and some are into Plate spinning. Personal preference is what it comes down to.

I love LTRs, but only with the right woman. I also love spinning plates.

I can see myself coming closer and closer to amalgamating the two together.

If I ever get into a relationship again, I will probably keep spinning some plates. Just to eradicate neediness and falling back into the AFC vortex. Thus prolonging the fruitfulness of the relationship.

The last relationship i was in was horrible but amazing at the same time. Horrible because I was an recovering AFC, but still moreso AFC than not. Amazing because we loved each other, and were each others first in terms of everything. We were both virgins, first bf/gf to each other. So it was good/bad.

So yeah i may be scared of getting hurt. But I think the real reason why I want to spin plates relentlessly over getting into an LTR is because i want to refine my DJ skills to perfection and see what type of girls i like and what type i dont. If i just jumped at the opportunity of every girl offering me LTR then I would never spin plates successfully, I would always be in an LTR, and further my entrapment in the AFC vortex.

To wrap it all up, I want to fully become a DJ before I even consider a relationship again. WHY? because I don't want the same thing that happened with my ex to ever happen again. WHY? because i don't want to be heartbroken.

So i guess your right. When you break it down, I am scared of being hurt. But am making a positive effort to tackle that insecurity by spinning plates and becoming the best me i can to minimize the chances of being hurt.

 

[jurry]

Hahaha thats awesome bro I get what you're saying, keep on doin the damn thing

 

[narcissist]

Hmm interesting day yesterday thats for sure.

Major question that I have been asking myself over and over again:

When a girl says she hates you, but later fvcks you, what does that mean?

I have had this happen to me multiple times in the past 2 months. With 3 girls in specific.

I chill with them, build rapport, ****y-funny, escalate, kino, negging and they eat it up. But 2-3 dates in they start jokingly say "I hate you", "I actually hate you", "omgggggg I hate you", Then I fvck them. ahahaha so weird.

I think I understand why.

The reason why: I am not their typical guy. They cant grasp me. I intrigue them. I am actually making them feel something for me, while they know I dont care about them. They are used to guys that are so easy to read and so upfront with their emotions. So AFC. They are boring. Whereas I never reveal my emotions, I try to embody mysteriousness. Never give them the satisfaction, but reek of sexuality. They say they "hate me" but its a freudian slip. They are not used to a guy like me, they cant control me like they usually can with other guys. They actually "love me". Defence mechanism. They procure the opposite of their true feelings because they are falling for me. They are letting me know that they hate the fact that they are not in control, verbally, but after telling me they actually love not being in control, by having sex with me, physically. That is the only logical explanation for why they say they "hate me" and right after their pvssies drip, as i fvck them.


This IS a clear cut reason why we should gauge women by THEIR ACTIONS. Not their words.

I may be wrong though with that analysis. Let me know what you guys think. I want to revise it a little and come to a perfect explanation. Because I think when a girl says "i hate you" but with kino, it is a REALLY good sign. One of the best signs a guy can get.



PLATE UPDATE

HbAAA

Went to her house yesterday as planned. Met her at school. Got on the bus and went straight to her house. Was like a 15 minute bus ride. Funny thing, she said she was feeling a bit sick when I first saw her.

Did not let it discourage me at all. Well we got to her house. Chatted for like 15 minutes up stairs. Then made our way downstairs after she changed her clothes. She put these cute little tights on.

We went downstairs and tossed on the movie the exorcism. Turned off the lights. And then i said fvck it. Im not watching the excorsist lol. So I pulled her in close to me and started making out. 10 minutes later we are naked, and we fvcked until the credits of the movie were rolling. After she gave me some head because I couldnt bust. Felt amazing but I didnt bust. Then I started playing with her cl1t. She was loving it. Literally twitching. Never had a girl twitching that much. She "apparently" came. But you know women.

She also said "i hate you" playfully before we fvcked.

Then after I chilled as she grabbed me a beer. And we watched another movie still naked, and she was cuddling up on me.

She definitely likes me a lot.

I thinks she aight. But I dont really catch feelings anymore. But who knows.

I havent talked to her since. Im gunna msg her tuesday for another round. But I want to see if shes gunna text me first.

Lol if this girl ever stumbles across this post she is going to know for sure that Im talking about her online. I should be more subtle, with descriptions.


HbMMM

Havent talked to her since that text after movies.

Shes bascially dropped. Well see if she contacts me. But I doubt it.



This week I am going to add 2 more plates.


I was supposed to go on a date today but I said fvck it. Was too tired and I am trying to quit coffee today.

EDIT: changed the name of the first girl to hbAAA.

 

[narcissist]

Aight fellas. Whats going on. Welcome to my journal.


Past couple days have been interesting.

So as you all well know, I had sex with HbAAA on friday. We fvcked for the whole excorcist movie. Kinda weird movie to have sex too, but nonetheless pretty funny and it was great sex.

After I left her house I said to myself "I am going to let her contact me first"

This is because prior to these last 6 months, I was the type of guy to contact first. So I said fvck it. She didnt message the same day. But I figured she would message me the next day or day after. I want her to think that I am not attached to her.

Saturday rolls around


I wake up and am supposed to go on a date with HbYas. I flop. Was too tired.

My really good friend who lives a couple hours away contacted me and wanted to get together and chill for a couple days at his house, So around 6 I go downtown and meet him at one of his friends house. Around 5 dudes there.

Right off the bat Im talkative and confident. Not for any reason in particular other then I want to embody the personality of the DJ, no matter what scenario.

We drink a couple beers, smoke some shisha, and talk about game of thrones for a bit. 45 mins into this chill session these two chicks come in. Both pretty sexy. Hb7 and Hb7.5.

They both have boyfriends but are very intrigued by me, giving me eye contact, asking me questions and asking me to play beer pong with them. I dont know if you fellas know the rules to beer pong but at the start you have to stare into each others eyes and throw the ball into the cup to see who goes first.

I get the most intense sexual stare I think Ive ever had from the hb7. haha nontheless I dont think anything of it. Whatever, she has a boyfriend.

We continue playing and one of the girls said I look like a lead singer in this boy-band. I forget the name. And she showed me, and said I must get all the girls because I look like him. I played it ****y and funny.

Doesnt matter, I dont fvck with girls that have boyfriends. Cant help if they like me.

During this time, I get a snap chat from HbAAA, the girl I slept with on friday.

Its of her legs in the bath. with the message "I guess I'm becoming one of those girls".... An inside joke that we had because she knows I get snapchats from girls all the time.


I text her "send me another one"

she says "nope sorry"

I say "do it"

she says "noooooope you've got to earn another one"



I didn't reply. Let her hamster wheel spin. Plus I dont acknowledge sh!t tests. I know she likes me. Plus she'll be thinking I'm not needy and sh!t. She contacted me first with the snap chat so I know she's about it.

I am going to message her tomorrow or wednesday to go to her house again and smash.

I also got a text from HbYas whom I flaked on earlier.

HbYas text: "Well you could have at least told me you didnt wanna hang out instead of leaving me hanging"

I tried to pull it back to set up another date this week but she didnt reply. So that plate is done.



Other than that I went to my friends house and we chilled all weekend. I grabbed a couple numbers off of tinder, whilst at his house. We shall see if those go anywhere.

I will not lie, HbAAA is the best sex I have had since my ex. I really want to sleep with her again. All the other girls I could care less when it comes to sex, they havent left me wanted more, but for some reason I have been craving to get back inside HbAAA since friday.

I need to clear my mind and meditate, hit the gym and read some DJ bible articles. I DO NOT want to catch oneitis. This is crucial because i know she is just down to be FB's, so I need to keep my emotional attachment just under hers or else it will all crumble.


Anyways peace mates.

 

[narcissist]

Just another update today.

I had sort of an epiphany that I want to share on here.



I just got back from the gym like 4 hours ago. This one girl. Shes about 17. Literally my perfect match in terms of looks. Tan, cute, slim, innocent, but seductive eyes.

She followed me around the gym. And she gave me those eyes. And at one point we looked at each other for 7 seconds. But Im a huge pvssy when it comes to cold approaching. And I chickened out. I want to be completely honest with you guys. I don't want to lie to look cool. This journal is to become the best me so I am treating it like it is personal and only i can see it. So I will tell you guys honestly, I am fvcking horrible at cold approach In fact since i've found this site I think I have cold approached 2 girls maybe 3.

I get most of my vag off of tinder because I have 1171 matches. I know its an absurd amount but Ive swiped right to maybe 5000-6000 chicks. Ill post a pic if you guys want concrete proof.

The thing is I KNOW I CAN GET GIRLS. But I think that cold approach IS THE BEST WAY.

1] because they are right in front of me, and it will leave a MUCH better impression. Whereas tinder and online bishes can have the comfort of not being there pressured to go out with me, so they can easily say "no" to my date offers.

2] The girls I would cold approach LIVE AROUND ME. I have like 3 plates right now. They all live SO FAR. Like i gotta bus 1 hour just to se HBAAA. I want girls that are in my vicinity. CLOSE to me.

My gym is like 5 minute walk from my house. There is like 15 fvcking sexy girls there that ALWAYS check me out. I am not trying to be egotistical you guys. I am being straight up. I need to utilize that. These girl live close to me.

I should be able to go up. Sweet talk one of them, tell her to come over after working out and watch a movie with me. bada-bing bada-boom, and were fvcking. I would very much like to have a fvck buddy who lives close to me.

Okay. New rule. No listening to music at the gym. Its a HUGE sacrifice. But It will allow me to be present. And give me the ability to hear real voices and people, and maybe that will help me grab my balls and go up to a girl.

Even today as I was getting on the bus, this like hb7.5 who was probably around 17-18 was looking at me. Gave me the sex eyes. Did i go up to her? NO. That could have been a potential plate. In 2 weeks I could have been slamming her. But noooooooooo, I had to be a bxtch.

Tinder is like 90% of where I get girls.

I want Tinder to be like 5%.

I want social-circle to be like 10%-15%

I want Cold-Approaching to be 80-85%

Tinder is SOOOOO limited. Most of the bishes on there are low quality too. Im seriously fvcking up the potential plates i could be adding to my arsenal by NOT cold approaching



The second part of my epiphany.

Every month I want to take 5 days out of it and NOT game girls.

No matter what. 5 days. Dont text. Dont contact. Dont try to pick up. Dont initiate chill sessions. Just completely isolate myself from game.

Dont get me wrong. I love game. I love PUA. I love women. And I love sex. But I cant let it consume every waking minute of my life.

The only way to be an AMAZING DJ is to be able to look at situations rationally, deductively, and objectively. Well Ive noticed that I become very subjective and emotional if I game girls for TOO long. Ive been non-stop gaming for like 3 months.

Tonight I was too confident and made a sh!t load of mistakes. I was trying to set up dates on tinder with like 4-5 girls and I was wayyyyy to confident and egotistic in myself and ended failing sh!t tests which ultimately lost me all of the dates.

Like I would ask for the dates too early in the conversation like after 3 back and forth messages and they would say something along the lines of "hmm let talk some more before i make my decision" and Id just next them, by saying 'Nah"

I really have to work on my ego. Yes Anti-dump says to next girls who arent 100% interested in you. BUT you cant tell if a girl is 100% interested in you after 2 texts.. These could be potential plates but Im letting my ego get in the way of making that happen.

Not good.

So I believe it is necessary to just chill out for 5 days a month at least. And just gather my thoughts. I also need to figure out how to tone down my ego. I need to realize that I am not the best thing that ever existed. I need to realize that my ego is only making me worse at what I want to be good at.

The thing is. Gaming girls and Ego are in a reciprocal relationship. As you game girls, the better your game gets, and the more girls you end up pulling. As the amount of girls you pull increases the LARGER your ego grows. ULTIMATELY fvcking up a lot of plate prospects by the behaviour that it produces.


I need to be humble.


I am glad I have made these mistakes. I was getting too comfortable with my game. I should never get comfortable. I should always be progressing. Non-stop, without mercy. I still have a LONG way to go before I am even CLOSE to being a TRUE DJ. In fact a TRUE DJ doesnt even consider himself a DJ.


These are the things i need to work on to become better at pulling girls.


1] COLD APPROACH! COLD APPROACH! COLD APPROACH!

I really have to pull it together on this aspect. This would help me in so many different way and truly transform me. Some could even argue that Im not even gaming girls without cold approaching.


2] I must tone down my ego and become more humble.

There will be mistakes. There will be trials and tribulations. It will not be an easy journey. Being humble and realizing these things will allow me to look at the obstacles and use them to my benefit by learning from them, rather then getting upset, making more mistakes and nexting girls that are possible plates because my ego cant handle knowing that it made a mistake or doesnt like being rejected.

Really got to work on this.


3] Patience

I have found that I lack the needed patience to become a great DJ. When I want to do something, I do it. But sometimes that is not the right move. It allows for foolish mistakes that could have otherwise been avoided.

I think patience will help with eradicating my ego. When my ego acts up I have to remember to be patient and allow my ego to subside the feelings that come along with it rather then submitting to my egoistic impulses, thus returning to a rational objective equilibrium and making THE RIGHT DECISIONS. Giving my ego less room for action will make it a less prominent figure in how I choose to behave.


4] I need to accept the inevitable's

I will get rejected. I will make mistakes. Some girls wont like me. Some girls will have VERY low interest. Some girls will ATTACK my pride and ego.

I must not be affected by such infinitesimal occurrences. Why? They are unavoidable. They will happen. I must smile and shrug them off. This is only a possibility if I eradicate my ego.


5] In order to eradicate my EGO I must develop HUMILITY.

I must enter situations which make me uncomfortable. I must shut up my inner voice that says "PEOPLE WILL JUDGE YOU".

I must become the type of person that realizes my existence is futile and unimportant in the vast scheme of things. So my actions dont really matter.

This should help me enter action that I don't want to. It will allow me to realize that what I do or dont do is not analyzed by ANYONE.

I SHOULD NOT take myself so seriously. I am an APE on a BALL.





One other thing.


When I ask a girl to hang out over text this is what i will say from now on.


"Lets get together this week girl when are you free?"

The bolded, italisized, underlined portion of that is the most important thing.

NEVER ever ask for a certain day. Ask them when they are free. It is just better.

Because if they are busy on the day that you say then you have to either wait for them to counter offer OR you have to counter offer and look like a bish.


Anyways I am ging to continue posting in here for the next couple days, but I am putting down my phone. I dont want to game until friday when a new plate is coming over to watch a movie. I will fill you guys in on this new plate tomorrow. Plus I set up another chill date (basically just sex and a movie) with HbAAA.. I guess she is my new fvck buddy.

 

[Ronaldo7]

Are you seriously sacrificing music just to hear distractions? Why would you mess with your gym time? It really does show you aren't 100 % committed to it. You aren't at the gym to meet girls, are you? You are there to workout. If you truly want to see those results you mentioned, you need to be fully focused and not wondering if you are oblivious to other people.

 

[narcissist]

Are you seriously sacrificing music just to hear distractions? Why would you mess with your gym time? It really does show you aren't 100 % committed to it. You aren't at the gym to meet girls, are you? You are there to workout. If you truly want to see those results you mentioned, you need to be fully focused and not wondering if you are oblivious to other people.

I should clarify.

I am in the business of IDENTIFYING AND ERADICATING MY WEAKNESSES

My working out has gotten to a point where it is not a weakness. My goals are being met. Im lifting properly, gaining good weight, eating my macros, and don't miss gym day ever.

What IS one of my weaknesses is my COLD APPROACHING.

Seeing as i have only cold approached 2 girls since I've started PUA, I want to cold approach in EVERY environment.

Talking to one girl for 2-3 minutes at the gym in order to fvck her later is hardly a detriment to my workout regiment.

I must be the type of person that can approach any woman in ANY setting. Once I get to that point then I will isolate the gym ONLY for working out.

Until that point I will approach 1 chick at the gym per workout and talk for 2 mins. Then get back to my workout fully focused.

I hardly see how talking to a human being shows that I don't take working out seriously.

Nonetheless to each his own. Maybe you do not have a weakness in terms of cold approaching, so maybe you dont understand where I'm coming from. Regardless I must do what must be done in order to eradicate my weaknesses.

 

[beatjunkie]

Keep it up narcissist, I read all your previous posts on this thread and your progress is inspiring!

Stay strong!

 

[narcissist]

The books that I will read over the next 1-2 months


1] The Philosophy of Sex - Contemporary readings - Sixth Edition

This book is an amalgamation of different readings about the philosophy of sexuality, love, masturbation, perversion etc.

I have read a couple pieces in here and they are mind blowing. This is a book that I got for one of my university courses but didn't get to read a lot of the material in it. It is beyond blue-pill doctrines FOR SURE. These are philosophers uninterrupted or at least privy to sociological influence and tries to question it.

So the sh!t in this book is very interesting. Especially this one article on the concept of love and desire as a spectrum.


2] Tao Te Ching by Lao Tzu

This is essentially a manifesto of poetry and verses that is fundamental to the philosophy of Taoism. I am not versed enough yet to give a full rundown of this text but i believe it has a lot to do with submit to the unknowable and understanding balance as the fundamental aspect of life. Without bad there is no good. Yin and Yang.


3] The myth of sisyphus by Albert Camus

Not sure what this book is about at all. I think its an existential manifesto on finding purpose in an absurd existence? It philosophical in nature, I know that.


4] Modern man in Search of a Soul by Carl G. Jung

This is widely considered one of the most important books in the field of psychology. The books goes into depth on analytic psychology.

Once again Im not sure what to expect out of this book. I do know that jung is heavily influenced by Sigmund freud. So I wouldn't be surprised to see shadows of Freudian theory.


5] Mastery by Robert Greene

This is a book by the infamous Robert Greene that covers the phenomena of Mastery. How mastery is fundamentally the most important path one can take in ones life. He goes into detail bringing up each and every step along the way towards the fundamental goal of mastering a certain path.

I have already read some of this book


6] The 48 Laws of Power by Robert Greene

I have already read this book twice, but figure its a trademark in the 21st century and must read it again to fully comprehend every facet that Greene is discussing.


7] The story of Edgar Sawtelle by David Wroblewski

This is a novel. A fictitious book encompassing a boy who is mute and must go through a journey of struggling with his perfectly bred dog? I think thats what its about.

Anyways I wanted to add a fiction book to the list. This is actually the first book that I am reading out of this list.

Fiction books are good for allowing yourself to put your mind in other people shoes. This is FUNDAMENTAL in becoming a great DJ.


Nonetheless these are the books that I have chosen to read. When i am done i will write what my thoughts were on each book and what I have learned.

I will also do this indefinitely from now on in my journal. Books are a crucial aspect to living an integral life, its time i start utilizing my time wisely by incorporating them into my life.




I reached 10 post max. So I will update plates on this post.



HbAAA:

texted her last night after the gym. I was going to text her today but I thought to myself. What is one day really going to do? will it make a difference if she is INTERESTED? probably not. Oh i should probably add that me and her can only chill and fvck from 1-5pm on weekdays cus of her parents. I should also add that I am the second guy she has ever slept with. She just broke up with her boyfriend of 3 years a month ago, and he took her virginity. He was also apparently *small* if u catch my drift.

Me: What are you doin wednesday? Im thinkin we should get together girl

Note***** never ask for a specific day - ask when they are free instead.

her: I got volunteering all day wednesday

me: aha do your thing

Was expecting her to counter offer but she didnt. This is why straight up asking when they are free is WAY better.

her: alrighty

me: When are you free?

her: Well I just realized its going to be the time of the month this week. So maybe next week thursday?

me **IN MY HEAD**: fvck i gotta wait a week.

me texting: Aight miss (insert name) Ill be there at 1.


This seems kinda fishy. I dont know something about it, sets me the wrong way like the "maybe" in her text and the fact that she put it off till NEXT thursday, but Im not going to think much about it. Well see what happens.

She isnt a big "texter" so im thinkin im looking into something where there is nothing to look into. Meditate. If i meditate i will stop over analyzing it

She also liked one of my pictures on Instagram like 2 hours later.

I dont really give a fvck tho. Im gunna go over and smash it. Shes a fvck buddy, soft.


*New* HbSSS

Some cute little asian bish whose 19, and went to my high school. We have been on one date like 3 months ago. She wanted to go on another but i cut her out of my arsenal. Well I messaged her up last night and she is coming over for a movie on friday. I will try to escalate as much as physically possible.


HbMMM:

Basically done and cut for good.




ps: Thanks beatjunkie! we are all here for each other, and you will become the person you want to be mate! I know it! Dont ever hesitate to inbox me with questions and sh!t.

 

[Ronaldo7]

Your rest time should consist of 1 minute and 30 seconds. You are essentially reducing the intensity of your workout by consuming 2 rest periods to distract yourself away. I'm not knocking on you. I am simply pointing something out that will beneficial to you. More intense = better results.

 

[narcissist]

It is so easy to go from being a badass to being an AFC when one is in the apprenticeship stage of Don Juanism.

I really need to learn how to be more calm and collected in situations. I need to learn how to put down my phone and analyze what the best method is for approaching a situation. Otherwise my innate AFCdom will come out and I will fall back into the vortex that is so hard to come out of.

This is because in the transition stage between AFC and Don Juan, one exhibits both characteristics and is metalling around with different approaches to see which ones work and which ones dont. When one of those approaches dont work, well AFCdom can start to pop out because it is so inherently ingrained in all of us.

For instance. This girl matches with me on tinder. Guess who it is? HbMMM's BEST FRIEND. I met her at a party about 3 weeks ago

Clear signs of interest.

- She was giving me interest eyes
- talking to me and asking me question
- enthusiastically answering my question
- receptive to playful kino
- etc etc etc

I dont think anything of it until today. When I get matched with her on tinder. She is WAY more beautiful then HbMMM.

First thought that comes into my mind

"HbMMM must have put her up to this because i dropped HbMMM when she was becoming more exclusivity oriented."

but then i thought

"Ummmm well HbMMM's friend was giving me MANY signs of interest. I even made a point of it in my head that her friend could turn into one of my plates if i play the game right."

So theres two options.

1) they are tricking me cus HbMMM is butthurt over me dropping her

2) the bish is ACTUALLY interested in me

Well here is the convo. It went from slick to WHACK in a matter of 5 mins. Partly because i didnt know how to handle a situation like this and i think i may have fvcked up the chances. When I am unsure I MUST come to the forum and ask the questions needed to further progress.


me: Look who it is. HbMMM's friend. The one that thinks I'm really cute

her: hahaha who said i thought you were really cute o:

me: you did with your eyes

her: Hmm really is that so

*******at this point i should have chilled out and counted my steps more precisely but i didnt.

me: It's pretty obvious you wanted to jump me at that party

her: Lmfaooooooo no i actually didnt

*****after this is fell into afc beta gayness. I will post it just because I want to be honest and I need to learn from my mistakes.

me: haha sure. Anyways tell "HbMMM" I say whats up... I know shes beside you

her: Im not with her rn she's at work haha! I'll see her tonight thought

me: So was it you that matched with me or her? (gayest fvcking msg ever)

me: It could be you cus u undoubtably think im adorable. But Im leaning more towards her cause she seems like the devious type

her: No she's not even with me lmaoooo! And yeah i just swiped right to be nice okay

me: Well in that case... Whats up? lol

her: hahaha! ummm nothing much, hbu




OUCH. that sh1t is painful. I didn't reply after that. Fvck it. Its unsalvageable. I might throw her a text in a couple weeks. Go at it full strength.

I like writing it down because it helps me see my mistakes. But goddamn that in my opinion was horrible.

I have a good feeling she is going to message me tonight when the two of them are together. But Im not going to reply. I will shoot her a text in 1-2 months and see if i can salvage it, because I wouldnt mind sleeping with her.

I should have NEVER brought up HbMMM, The only reason i did was because i was curious about whether she matched with me cause HbMMM made her. BUT that sh1t is insecurity. Should have just assumed that she matched with me cause she likes me, Even if that wasn't the case I would have had a better chance.

reeeeeeeegardless. I Am going to start posting up more text convos. That sh1t is a sure fire way to fvck up one's chances.

I know there is heated debate over texting. I think texting is a great tool no doubt. But if you are not good at text game, or over-communicate then you WILL fvck up. Conversely if you are good at texting then you can most definitely use it to your benefit.

I am in between.

So I want to post up my text convo's so i can see how i can improve.

 

[narcissist]

Your rest time should consist of 1 minute and 30 seconds. You are essentially reducing the intensity of your workout by consuming 2 rest periods to distract yourself away. I'm not knocking on you. I am simply pointing something out that will beneficial to you. More intense = better results.

No worries man. I know you are just trying to help. Thanks buddy.

 

[narcissist]

Okay.

So a couple updates. I want to update my goals, plates, and gym.


My Summer Goals


1] Gain 10 pounds of muscle by the end of August

2] Save 1000$

3] Read 20 books

4] Meditate everyday

5] Drink only water

6] Keep up with personal and environmental hygiene

7] Implement proper sleeping habits

8] Sleep with 5 more girls


What I have been doing to achieve these

1] I have been working out a lot lately. I just went and bought a pre-workout supplement, because I quit coffee and I need the added caffeine and boost to keep me going in the gym. I am also eating quite a lot of food. I need to start documenting my progress in a journal of some sort though. I feel that it would be an integral factor to attaining said goal

2] I just got a job the other day at this bingo place across from my house. I will be working around 12 hours a week over the summer. I think I'm going to get a second job too. But I am going to save around 60-70% of each pay check. No excuses.

3] I have already picked out 7 books and am completing the first one right now, which by the way is pretty damn good.

4] I have been meditating in the shower everyday, but I want to transition into meditating out of the shower.

5] I quit coffee two days ago. I have only been drinking water.

6] I have been consciously keeping my room clean everyday and have been doing the necessary steps to having good hygiene everyday.

7] This is probably one of the most important goals to me. My sleeping habits are poo. I go to sleep around 4 every morning, and wake up around 1pm. So I need to fix that. I will set 5 alarm clocks and force myself to get up at 9am, this should fix my bad sleeping habits because Ill be too tired to stay up until 4am.

8] So far I have slept with 4 girls since the start of 2014. Which is pretty poo. I want to sleep with another 5 this summer.





Plate update

HbAAA - supposed to go to her house on next thursday for sex but she just messaged me this

text: sooooo I'm going to have to cancel our thursday fun time because I have to work full time next week

me: aight


I dont really care. I am actually quite happy with myself that girls are becoming less and less of a factor in what affects me. My non-affectivity towards them is diminishing.

So things like a girl flaking doesn't even really phase me.

I am going to let her text me. If she doesn't contact me in a couple weeks Ill shoot her a text. maybe.


HbSSS - I flaked on her today.

Quiting coffee is really getting to me. Would rather not chill with a girl at my house when I feel like sh1t.



Other then that.. yeah. I am basically just about to go out and chill with one of my friends from school.

 

[jurry]

Hey narcissist great posts as always man. Dont beat yourself up about that tinder convo wasnt even that bad. I really dig what youre saying above about not letting the AFC take over because its so hard to control. I went on two dates the past week one was ok probably not going anywhere but the other was really good and i can feel my pvssy self inside getting all excited and building her up as this perfect girl, etc. Patience is really key as you mention - meditation too! - and i just try to acknowledge those thoughts and move forward, they tend to die down a bit on their own. An LTR is still pretty terrifying, the attachment and vulnerability involved with it seems so dangerous to me :/

Sorry about the big long paragraph typing from my phone haha peace brother

 

[beatjunkie]

Gentlemen,

What you see above is the metamorphosis of an epic guy into a Legend. This is what the fvck I call goal-oriented and self-improving.

Keep it up narcissist!

 

[narcissist]

First off, Thanks to Jurry and Beatjunkie for the motivation and support. Ya'll are badass mother fvckers!


A lot has happened in the past 3 days.


To begin with I have now quit coffee for 6 days. I will be eradicating this bad habit from my life for good! I have replaced drinking coffee with water. So far I feel great and the initial withdrawal symptoms are going away in fact almost completely gone!

I am realizing that the majority of success comes from eradicating bad habits and replacing them with GOOD habits.

So with this being said I will also quit fapping & smoking shisha and replacing them with more beneficial activities.


Fapping

I jerk-off probably twice a day. And I watch A LOT of porn. I have personally read a plethora of articles explaining why fapping is bad for you and your game and how quitting it for extended periods of time can have massive benefits for a wide array of different facets of life.

This is the main article I have read. I found it in one of the threads on SoSuave

http://www.howtoga.me/latestarticles/how-to-games-definitive-guide-to-the-no-fap-challenge/

So I will be doing this challenge. No Fap Challenge Day: 1

I am going to replace fapping with reading or walking. Whenever I feel the urge to fap I will read instead or talk a walk around my neighbourhood.

No more fapping and no more porn. This is going to be hard


Shisha

Shisha is essentially flavoured tobacco that one smokes out of whats called a hookah.

It looks something like this:

http://maegalina.files.wordpress.com/2013/05/girl_with_hookah_40g0.jpg?w=650

It is not very conducive to my health and exercise goals and aspirations.

I barely smoke it. Maybe once every 1-2 weeks but in the past week have been doing it almost everyday. So I am going to eradicate it completely out of my life. Not going to smoke it even once.

I used to smoke cigarettes around 2 years ago and I went cold turkey and never touched them again, So this should be a piece of cake.

I will be replacing smoking shisha with eating a healthy meal. This will help me reach my caloric surplus. Smoking shisha is usually an hour process. So replacing it with a healthy meal will take up the same time.



At the end of the day I would much rather achieve an amazing healthy body and mind then smoke or drink or eat sh1tty food. The end goal is more important to me then the hedonistic pleasure of such things stated above.


Tinder


So I now have reached 1241 matches. No joke. Lol. I know. Ridiculous.

But last night I was with one of my buddies who I will talk about later and we were fvcking around on tinder and got this hb7 to send nudes.

In the next couple days from now I am going to try and set up around 5-6 dates. I want to add some more bishes to my plate arsenal.

Having this many matches though isnt very conducive to me actually going out and cold approaching because I allows me to be lazy and just set up dates from the comfort of my bed. BUT I must go out and cold approach if I want to get a lot better with women and eradicate my approach & social anxiety.


My new/old social group


I have contacted a few of my close friends and chilled with them and have motivated them to come out with me and cold approach women.

In particular I have seriously motivated 4 of them, with 1 of my good friends who is already red pilled and down.

One of those guys lives like two streets away from me and he's a really cool guy but seriously has low self esteem problems. I am motivating the fvck out of him and can already see him getting out of his comfort zone. Like we went out the last two night to grab food and I was being loud and awesome talking to the people I saw and he told me he wants to be like that. So he's down to cold approach. Me and him have already made a pact to approach 10'000 women this summer each. That's a huge goal but we are motivated to do it.

Also he is joining my gym as well because we both live so close to it. He is like 175 5% bf no joke. Hes a fvcking beast. So he will definitely motivate me to push as hard as I possibly can in the gym and get shredded.


Plan for tomorrow

I will be going out with the red-pilled buddy of mine who already cold approaches and we are going to go downtown and cold approach women. I believe we are going to do the strategy where we have to tell each other who to approach. So tomorrow I will finally go out a cold approach women. I am going to face my fear of anxiety. FVCK ANXIETY. I can overcome it. So I will keep you guys updated on what happens tomorrow


Plates

HbAAA:

So after she sent me this:

text: sooooo I'm going to have to cancel our thursday fun time because I have to work full time next week

me: aight

Which was like 4 days ago

she sends me this:

Text: Well im off work for the last two weeks of may, so maybe we can hang out then

me: I'll let you know



This is a girl whom I have already slept with. the reason I sent "Ill let you know" is twofold.

1) because the last two weeks of may is so far away so I don't want to commit to anything right now

2) If i committed to chill with her literally 3 weeks from now it would look needy as fvck and she has verbally stated that she doesn't like needy guys.

So this way I look like I dont really give a sh1t about chilling with her, and I don't have to commit to anything.

But goddamn. I haven't had sex in like 1.5 weeks. I'm slowly turning into an animal. I need it. Soon.



As for all the other plates.

I DROPPED them. Got to stay fluid and moving. Cant become comfortable. I cannot fall into stasis. I will talk to thousands of women this summer so dropping a couple plates is OKAY. Sometimes its best to get rid of all your plates in order to keeping moving and keep improving and force yourself into situations where you literally have to go out and get more women.



My new job

I am a cashier at this local bingo place. There are always cute girls that come up and buy sh1t and always smile and start conversation. This is perfect way to become comfortable talking to bishes. This is because I am FORCED into talking to them. Regardless it will help. I am not sure if it would be smart to get their numbers though. I say fvck it. Im only at this job for 4 months.


Gym

Got a new gym partner who's a beast. I am moving all of my health and fitness related sh1t to my new fitness journal in the health and fitness forum. Gotta start documenting all of that for better progress and gains.

new fitness journal > http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=215475

 

[jurry]

" Got to stay fluid and moving. Cant become comfortable. I cannot fall into stasis."

Brilliant!

Feel like I'm right there with you with the fapping and coffee. If I jerk off once here and there like every few days it seems not bad but if you get into a porno marathon 3x in a row just fvcks your whole day up.. I need to read up on the coffee thing though thats a pain in the balls too pretty much all I look forward to at work. Is it that you are dependent on it that bothers you or it makes you crash?