My relentless journal for 2014

[narcissist]

Sup everyone!
Just going to post yesterday’s and some of today’s I might post again tonight but I doubt I will be home until a very late time, so we shall see about that.

What I did yesterday that positively impacted my goals:

- i went to school
- i was super positive
- i conversed with a bunch of new people
- i put my self out of my comfort zone
- i called the girl in my class and we talked for a while around 8 oclock and now shes my valentine! hahah gonna smash it tonight fella's
- i went and studied with this girl that lives one street over from me for the first time at her house.. found out that she is a virgin ........ soooo i dont know if i want to smash that because the last virginity i took ended up being a whole long relationship and a horrible break up.. fxck it im gunna smash it, who cares
- did my online quiz for one of my lectures

what i did yesterday that negatively impacted my goals:

- i didnt really study for the quiz... but i got the marks back immediately and ended up getting an 80% - kind of dissappointed at that mark BUT its good for not studying i guess - i usually am in the 90 percentile range.
- DID NOT FXCKING EAT ENOUGH
- drank coffee
- room kind of got messy
- listened to music again on my way to school

other

so basically i made the girl in my class my valentine AND she invited me to go out to a club tonight sooooo thats a guarantee smash

WHAT I ATE YESTERDAY (for my bulk)

- one chicken wrap from tim hortans
- 3 coffees
- half a bowl of tortillini
- tortia chips and hummus
- thats basically it... lol VERY dissappointed in myself for that

- for some reason i lose my appetite at school, is there anyway to change that?


loool speak of the devil. as im writing this post the girl JUST texted me saying

"soo, dont flop tonight okayy? "


HAHAHAHAHA we alllll know what that text means

anyways hope all of ya'll have a fantastic day, and go hit on desperate v'day girls

p.s. rip PHM - didnt want to get involved in the crazy arguments on the forum, seems kinda pointless, but ill pay my respects to the dude

peace out!

 

[narcissist]

okay DJs this might be a long post but there is quite a lot to update to whoever is reading this sh*tty journal hahaha

so well start with Valentines Day

So basically I didn't really do very much during the day time but loafed around my house reading the 48 laws of power.

After that i went to the book store to pick up a new copy of the 48 laws because my old one has seen better days trust me lol. It was completely destroyed, thats how much i used it. Anyway so i went to indigo, a local bookstore and picked one up, and talked to this cute cashier, blonde, blue eyes for a little while, she asked me what the book was about.

Then I went home and started getting ready to go downtown to meet the girl in my class, who i made my valentine the day before.

Well i got downtown around 11 and i meet up with her and two of her girl friends and some other dude, who seemed to be quite afc for my valentine haha.

The funny thing is he got her a rose and she gave it to me! LOL and then i took it and gave it to a random hottie on the street and asked her to be my valentine RIGHT in front of my real valentine.. she obviously accepted!

my game was on point that night, and i didnt want to fxck up my momentum so i kind of ignored my real valentine to cold approach rando's, knowing that my real valentine would prolly have wet panties knowing that i can talk to random girls and get their numbers with ease. plus i knew she was already on my nuts, so i didnt really care

so we all go to a club after predrinking at on of her friends house. mind you i dont know any body, but im talking to everyone, and they all seem to love me - im trying to put myself in situations where i would normally be uncomfortable, like meeting with a bunch of people i JUST met and force my self to have an amazing time and be the source of pleasure and fun for everyone!

at the club i automatically start cold approaching right outside in front of the girl ('my valentine") and her friends and i get these two girls to kiss me on the cheek and get the one girls number whose like a 7

i also talk to another cutie in the line up and i get her to be my valentine as well.. i should let you guys know that i asked at least 15 girls to be my valentine and i would say 10 accepted.

ill sum everything up:

got 5 numbers that night
made out heavily with 2 girls - one being my real valentine
got a couple girls to kiss me on the cheek
around 10 girls accepted to be my valentine
i danced with to many girls to remember


so all in all pretty legit night.. but this was a case where my game was on point to the maximum.. i definitely left an UNBELIEVABLE impression on the girl in my class. she actually just texted me like 2 hours ago, but i dont think im going to respond.. ill just wait to class to talk to her.. get her wheel spinning a bit.

 

[narcissist]

oh yeah, out of the 5 numbers one of them was the bartender. and she was a fxcking dime case.. very sexy

i will keep you guys updated on what happens with these numbers and if i get any dates out of them, i know if i can get dates form them i will fxck close for sure

 

[narcissist]

okay so ill recap yesterday as well, seeing as quite a bit happened

because i had so much momentum from the night of valentines it definitely spilled over into last night when i went to my friends house to chill with him and his girlfriend and a couple of her girl friends to predrink before we went to a party.

pretty legit night, i hadnt seen him in over 2 years and its amazing to get reactions from people that havent seen you in so long and can see how different youve become, in a positive way.. it really puts ito perspective, that bettering yourself truly does make a difference and over time can completely change who you are as a person.

my old friend was absolutely shocked at how confident and suave i have become, and automatically one of the girls there was completely into me, as she told him. But she had a boyfriend and i dont fxck with that sh*t, i am very bitter towards girls that cheat, because well, i know how it feels and i would never want to put someone through that. even if you guys say the guy is replaceable or whatever, im not gunna be that guy, that occupies her boyfriends mind driving him crazy that i slept with his girl

i dont want that negative attention, you know?

but yeah, so we went to the party (20-25 people not that big), and once again i was majorly on point, and was the source of pleasure and fun at the party - i would say this happens 2/10 times i go out, an anomaly if you will - and i was just mkaing everyone happy and just sending out positive vibes! it was fxcking great, i love making people have fun and enjoy their time, its half the reason why im working on myself socially.

well i danced with this one cutie pie and she was grinding on me pretty hard, and the funny thing is my friend told me the girl that was interested in me with the boyfriend was so upset that i was dancing with this girl, hahaha. but i later find out that the girl i was dancing with had a boyfriend AT THE PARTY... well.

thats not my style, and the guy was pretty mad, but i went up to him and told him i didnt know and shiieet and he thought i was pretty chill so it was all good. fxcking girls man, if u have a godddammn boyfriend dont be dancing with other guys acting like your on the market, false fxcking advertising mates.

this is why i can be bitter sometimes concerning relationships with girls. well at least at this age.

other then that it was a pretty fun night, and i think i might be going at it again tonight!! so well see what happens.

what i need to work on is my ability to escalate a number close to a fxck close. because i pretty decent at pulling numbers and insta make outs at clubs and parties but dont know how to turn that into secks, maybe some advice you guys?

 

[narcissist]

well.. i don't even know what to say.

last night i delved into one of the grundgiest after hour parties ive ever been to. crazy music. sexy girls. and other things i probably shouldnt say on here.

it was fxcking amazing.

before i get into that i will tell you the beginning of my night.

So at the beginning of the night i met up with one of my good friends from high school who i havent seen in a good while, who is pretty chill.

we went and got food and a couple beers then headed over to this little party, which was decent but we only stayed for 25 mins because we loafed with food and we had to make our way downtown.

so we take his car, which is absolutely sexy by the way, and pick up our other friend and head downtown.

we get to the after hours party around 2ish

it was fxcking great. the music was unbelievable and the people there were awesome.

i will admit though that i was completely intimidated by the girls there lol they were definitely all on some sort of drugs and didnt feel like approaching made any logical sense. BUT im a dj in the making so i still approach a couple girls, lol, no numbers or anything. The environment is just WAY to different then ive ever experienced so i didnt know how to go about numbers.

i also met one of my girl friends there who came by, pretty sexy, but has a boyfriend, so you know the drill.

another funny thing i saw this girl there who was really good friends with my ex, and she kept staring at me all night, so im sure she'll be passing it on to my ex that im having a fxcking blast with my life. but who cares.

thats about it, i got home around 8 am and just woke up 45 mins ago....





Plans for the upcoming week:

so i went out the past 4 days and partied and definitely had a fantastic time, i felt like i needed to go out and enjoy myself and just ride on a game momentum. It was amazing.

but now im going to get back into my goals and back to achieving them relentlessly.

sometimes you just need to take a break and enjoy yourself, but the trick is to do it only in moderation, and continue working at bettering yourself, because that is the most important thing in ones life!

so right now im on reading week for school and these are my goals for the week

- eat properly every single day - fruits, proteins, carbs, fats, veggies, vitamins, suppliments
- go to the gym tuesday, wednesday, friday, and saturday
- catch up on all my readings and make notes for all of the
- read and make notes on the 48 laws of power - in fact i might make a thread on this
- drink a sh*t load of water


so far this is all i can think of that pertains directly to my official goals.

oh yeah i almost forgot.

i most likely will NOT be going out to clubs or bars, or parties until the end of my school year. And this is for a couple of reasons.

1. i want to get good at COLD APPROACH, BEING SOBER, IN THE DAY TIME.

- this forces me to talk to girls while im sober, in an uncomfortable environment for me, as opposed to clubs or parties where im a straight G when it comes to approaching.

2. i am quitting alcohol - cus fxck that sh*t

- this is a goal i will be applying to this thread. and i will update it every weekend.

3. it directly impacts my school and gym progress by drinking, eating at unhealthy fast food joints, affecting my sleep patterns.

-and of course that is unacceptable in my books.

4. i dont have a lot of money to drop. And that lifestyle can get very expensive.
- if im going to spend my money i would rather spend it on nice clothes or gym supplies.
- but most likely just save the majority of my cash flow.



anyways. Im out for now. have a great day

 

[narcissist]

Two more things to add.

1. I will be organizing my journal a little more efficiently, with punctuation and grammar.

2. Once a week I will try and post a thread that will benefit the other people on this forum, with things that I have learned in my lifetime, and things that I think would benefit others and myself.

I want to do the second one for two reasons. One, because I would like to send out positive vibes towards people and hopefully help some people out there that are in rough places. If I can motivate just one person to better their life, then I have done my job. Two, because I would like to organize some of the thoughts and advice I have either given to people before in my life or advice I give to myself in my own head.

Also I don't consider myself an expert on anything, so heed my advice at your own risk! loool

 

[narcissist]

Okay so i've been sitting here, and realizing that i need to take my goals more seriously.

I just want to recap my goals and write them down so I can get a better perspective on things.


1. Gain muscle mass - weigh 175 lbs and 5% body fat

How I will accomplish this:

- go to the gym 4 times a week
- eat a caloric surplus everyday
- do not eat fast food
- quit coffee
- quit alcohol
- drink enough water
- never miss one day at the gym
- keep a diet log and a gym log (I will do this in the fitness forum)
- get enough rest and fix my sleeping patterns
- work out in the morning during the weekdays

2. Gain a 4.0 GPA

How I will accomplish this:

- I will read all of my readings
- I will make friends with people in my class in order to use them as study buddies/ resources - anyone in school? do this and you will get much better grades
- I will make a concerted effort to ask for help when I need it

3. I will vastly expand my social network

How I will accomplish this:

- I will chill with many different groups of people and ingratiate myself into new groups
- I will make myself extremely loveable
- I will talk to everyone, no matter what and make them my friends
- I will be self reflecting and reflect on the things that I do that would make people more/less attracted to me and eradicate the bad qualities of me

4. I will become a COLD APPROACH MACHINE

How I will accomplish this:

- I will talk to everyone no matter what 16-100 years old, ugly, fat, hot, awesome, introverts, extroverts.. i do not give a fxck i will approach and talk to them
- I will approach ONLY SOBER. No alcohol to help me.
- I will study the DJ bible on how to turn the numbers I get into sex.
- I will work on my day game

5. Quit coffee/alcohol [this has been a hard one so fxck it, its now a priority goal]

How I will accomplish this:

- I will not put myself in situations where I am tempted to drink either beverages
- I will bring a big water bottle to school and only drink water or green tea

I will read these goals and how I will accomplish them EVERYDAY

I will also be documenting all of my progresses. I know I have said this before but this is essentially to help me achieve being the person i want to be, this journal is not really for entertaining purposes and I predict it will be VERY tedious. Feel free not to read it. But if you do I truly hope that it will give you motivation and you end up being a better person because of it.

I am fxcking sick of not taking my goals seriously. So it's fxcking time to step my game up.

This is a message to myself:

Fxcking step up your ****, if you want to be the best person you can be and be looked up to by people and respected as an individual then you have to take your goals seriously. If you truly want to be a better person and achieve the person you know in your mind you can be then fxcking do it. Stop being a pvssy! You know that by next year if you truly attempt, no fxck that, ACHIEVE your goals you will be an infinitely better person. So stop being a B!tch and be a boss.


Its about fxcking time I pull it together and actually put forth effort.

reading the "what i did that negatively impacted my goals today" in the past couple posts is a FXCKIN PATHETIC excuse for a human. I should have ABSOLUTELY NOTHING in that column.


Just a rant. Kind of mad at myself today, because I know I can be much better than I am right now.

 

[narcissist]

...CONTINUED POST....

I HAVE ONE MORE GOAL TO ADD

6. BE POSITIVE EVERYDAY

How I will accomplish this:

- listen to positive music
- smile
- laugh
- contentiously be in the moment and force yourself yo have a good time
- if someone is being negative DO NOT GO ALONG WITH IT
- DO NOT ARGUE WITH PEOPLE
- I will also write out a list of what is in my life at the moment that I love
- Things that I love about my life




I have also talked with the people I live with, And if i:

a. Ask for coffee
b. ask for fast food
c. say or do something negative
d. or anything that negatively impacts my goals

I have to drop down and down 50 PUSH UPS right then and there. And obviously NOT go get coffee/fastfood or switch my negative mindstate to something more positive by reading my list of things i love in my life.

Im going to train my mind. And I WILL accomplish my goals.

One other thing. i will be posting a tally chart on my fridge in order to physically keep track of things like

did you eat caloric surplus
did you only drink water today
did you take your vitamins
did you swear
did you stay commited to no coffee
did you stay commited to no alcohol
did you approach people today
did you study
did you take notes in class

Stuff like that.

I know it seems like absolute craziness what im doing, and it seem like i might be a little mentally insane with how strict im being, but if i dont do this i might not become the person i want to be. so fxck it, i dont care what people think. I WANT THIS MORE BADLY THAN ANYTHING.

 

[narcissist]

last thing.

For working out I am going to set MONTHLY GOALS because I believe it will be easier to achieve if the goals are closer together.

I will set TWO work out goals.

1. Monthly weight goals

2. Lifting goals

With the 175lbs 5-6% bf in mind as the end result of these monthly goals.

MY FIRST MONTLY WORKOUT GOALS

1) BY APRIL 1ST I WILL WEIGH 160LBS

2) My lifting goals I will have to document at the end of this week.
- I need to see what my max weight is for my 4 major workouts, deadlift, bench press, squat, and military press.
- So by the end of the week I will know what my max weight is for each of these and I will set a goal to attain for each of these by april 1st.

 

[narcissist]

*****DISCLAIMER: I WROTE THIS IN THE MORNING BUT I WAS AT 10 POST LIMIT******


What up guys.

While I'm eating my meal, I'm going to plan out my day accordingly and STICK FXCKING TO IT.

First thing is first. I saw this quote some where on the forum today and thought it definitely fit with my journal SO, I will post it:

**********
We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit.

- Aristotle
**********

This quote is pure truth. And this is what I have been trying to permanently stamp into my brain day-in and day-out. It is also what I promote most on this forum. CONSISTENT BETTERING OF YOURSELF. Eventually you will look at the progress and be dumbfounded at how far you have come, from beta to boss.

I will post a quote here everyday, for some self motivation and to motivate anyone who is reading my journal!

The plan for today:

Food: I WILL eat a caloric surplus. No fast food.

Coffee: Day 1 of quitting - only water/green tea today

Gym: Chest/Tricep/Abs - Going to fxcking kill it

School: I will make notes for my Psychology course.

Read: Read a chapter in the 48 laws of Power

Hygiene: Keep room and house clean, especially after cooking food

Alcohol: Obviously no alcohol, but it's tuesday and I don't think I've ever had alcohol on a tuesday lol, so this will more be for the weekend

SoSuave: I will come back tonight before sleep and go through each of these and check which ones I did and Which ones I didn't. They will all be checked.

Sleep: Doesn't matter when I go to sleep, but I must wake up at 9 am
tomorrow

This seem like a decently productive day.

Oh yeah. I will also be making a list like this to put on my fridge today, so I MUST do that as well.

Anyways peace. See ya tonight bruhs.

 

[narcissist]

I will now recap my day.

Food: So far I have eaten a caloric surplus - 2 more meals left

Coffee: no coffee today i have only had water to drink and 1 green tea

Gym: just got back from the gym and worked out like a monsta

School: I have not done any school work YET. but I will probably be up for another 5 hours, so i will do some work for sure.

Read: seeing as i have already read the 48 laws of power like 3 times, i decided to give another book a go, so i started reading a book called "the power of habit" and read 2 chapters in it today.

Hygiene: after i post this im going to clean my room and kitchen

Alcohol: obviously didnt drink

What I did today that positively impacted my goals
- wrote a list of stuff I wanted to do and ACTUALLY did it
- it was very hard to not drink coffee and I was tired for most of the day BUT I fxcking did it fellas. I will continue with it tomorrow as well.
- stayed positive throughout the day.
- set up dates with 2 of the girls i met on the weekend. one of them is already down for the D.
- started a new book that i can already tell is going to benefit my life, and keep me motivated.

What I did today the negatively impacted my goals
- slept in until noon
- didnt cold approach

There should be NO fxcking excuse to have ANYTHING under that second heading. So in my eyes I didn't do enough today.

I should start posting my text convos with girls so you guys can criticize it and that way I can become the best me possible.

HBRandomValentine: This is one of the girls I made out with ferociously on valentines day, a random that I cold approached and she asked for my number.
She then goes ahead and finds me on Facebook the following day. I accept the Next day and go through her pictures. I'm not sure whether i should put up pictures here. Im going to think about it. I don't really want my identity revealed. But I might say fxck it, for you bros.

Anyways heres how the text convo went so far.

Her: It's hbRV (insert name)
me: hello miss (insert name) i believe you owe me a study date
her: I'd love to when i'm back from reading week
me: sick. we'll binge drink green tea and test each other
me: But from what i remember your cheeks are very kissable. So studying is going to be interrupted from me kissin u on the cheek
her: hahaha sounds good to me! and from what i remember you're lips are very kissable.. so i guess we'll see where that takes us


So far it seems good to me ..

let me know if I'm fxcking up some how. or feel free to give me tips.

Oh and this BDP i used to deal with back in my highschool days sends me this yesterday.


hbBDP: Can we actually meet up and talk while im home

me: if you pick me up.. sure

hbBDP: My dad sold my car so i couldn't even if i wanted to

me: when are you coming home?

hbBDP: i'm already home

me: curious, what u want to talk about?

hbBDP: you know what, nevermind. i was being an idiot

me: kk no worries

hbBDP: dont do that

me: what?

hbBDP:be nice to me

me: i am tho haha

hbBDP: i meant dont be fvcking nice to me

me: im so confused
me: you want me to be mean?

hbBDP:yep. it's probably closer to what you really think of me and then at least i could hate you

me: ....



what the eff? haha isn't that weird you guys?

Anyways. I' m off to complete the rest of the goals i have set out to accomplish for today. See you guys later.

 

[Vice]

Enjoying your progression and seeing you make these realizations.

The 48 Laws of Power should be read every six months. The stories you read in it also make for fascinating conversation. If you mention one of the stories to someone who has read the book, it's like speaking in a "secret code" that you "get it".

Download the audio book and listen to it in your car/when you work out. If you have an iPhone you can listen to it at 2x the speed.

 

[narcissist]

Okay fellas. Time to update my daily journal.

So far today has been decently productive. BUT I woke up too late. I do have a solution to my sleeping in habits thought, which I will discuss later in this post.

I just wanted to say that these past couple days have been very motivating and has dedicated me to make my life absolutely the best it can possibly be, AND NO BULLSH*T this time. If i set my self up to do something I WILL DO IT.

I am at a point in my life where if i do something that affects my goals i get UTTERLY P*SSED OFF with myself. Im not sure if this is a good thing, and it might be at a point of unhealthiness BUT I dont give a fxck. I know that in two years when im posting my daily occurances in my journal, it WILL be filled with hb10's on my nutsack, me lifting like an absolute beast, being shredded as FXCK, making the money I want to make, graduating university and being ACCEPTED into POST GRADUATE school, and being an ALL around boss.

All I have to do is be CONSISTENT and HABITUAL. There is a recipe for success, and it all has to do with an inner spark of motivation, which THROUGH HABIT AND CONSISTENCY grows into a huge bellowing fire

quote of the day:

*****
All our life, so far as it has definite form, is but a mass of habits.

- William James
*****

This quote I think really does sum up HOW peoples lives turn out to be. Whether it turns out to be a horrible life filled with anguish and dispair, or a life that is unreal and awesome, a life that is WORTH living, it doesnt matter BOTH paths are but a conglomerate of habits, and amalgamation of habitual actions that determines WHICH life we end up with.

The sh*tty life is filled with habitual patterns of horrible decisions - eating unhealthy food, never talking to people, never reading, or writing, or striving to be happy and positive, BEING PESSIMISTIC, smoking, drinking in excess, having no definite path or goals set. the list can go on.

OR you can choose the path that will bring a certain type of happiness and content, and i believe this is the life WORTH living, this is the life WORTH STRIVING FOR. This life is filled with HABITS as well. AND ENDS UP BEING DEFINED BY THOSE HABITS. Working out and eating healthy, gaining knowledge and intelligence, getting an education, reading an unreal amount of books and literature and scholarly journals, experiences NEW things EVERYDAY, TAKING RISKS, being STRICT with your goals and ACHIEVEING what you want, talking to NEW people and making every one happy, getting the PVSSY that you so desire, AND many more habits that can lead to a well lived life.

You choose which one you want to live. I already know what im going to live.

For me, I want to make it so that all my habits become POSITIVE and they ALL end up bettering my life in some way or another.

This is why I would be reluctant to every get a girlfriend again. THIS IS BECAUSE when you have a girlfriend it is very easy VERY VERY EASY to fall down that slippery slope of unhealthy habits.

Things that I did today that POSITIVELY impacted my goals:

- I did not drink coffee today, and I WILL NOT.
- I am eating a caloric surplus. about to go fix me up a weight gain shake

Weight gain shake
- 1 cup of oats
- litre of whole milk
- two bananas
- half cup of blueberries
- 2 scoops of whey protein
- table spoon of peanut butter

- i cleaned up my entire house before the people i live with come home
- cleaned up my entire room
- wrote in my journal
- i will be going to the gym later tonight 100% - Shoulders/biceps/abs
- after i drink my shake i will be reading my psychology text book
- Oh i also started reading aloud with this girl i live with. We have this thing where were going to read aloud to each other now, this way i can become more pronounced with my vocalization and pronuciation of words. We will be reading Crime and Punishment together. So that will also happen tonight.

Things that i did today that negatively impacted my goals

- woke up at 12:30. **How i will change this: i will be setting 3 alarms tomorrow, and all three will be in places that force me out of my bed. I will have a peice of paper that reads, GET THE FXCK UP, over the third alarm.

this should work. lol


anyways i hope you all have badass motherfxcking days today! Go out and build your habits to make your life what you desire!

I also want to thank anyone who is reading my journal. I hope it motivates you!

 

[narcissist]

Enjoying your progression and seeing you make these realizations.

The 48 Laws of Power should be read every six months. The stories you read in it also make for fascinating conversation. If you mention one of the stories to someone who has read the book, it's like speaking in a "secret code" that you "get it".

Download the audio book and listen to it in your car/when you work out. If you have an iPhone you can listen to it at 2x the speed.

Thanks brotha, I appreciate the love. I have actually been tuning into your journal as well, and it most definitely has helped me in terms cold approaching when I'm out and about.

Do you have a link to where I could get the audio version of the 48 Laws?

 

[CaptainSaveAh0]

This is a super dope blog!
Keep it up OP.
I need to start taking my goals a lot more seriously as well.
Life is just meaningless without setting goals and achieving them.

 

[narcissist]

Okay guys. One thing that I wanted to do in this blog was NOT lie about my days and not bend the truth at all, so I will say that I kind of fxcked up last night and today.

I am EXTREMELY fxcking disappointed in myself. EXTREMELY.

I went to my brothers house last night and had 4 fxcking mcdonalds burgers and some dirty fatty chicken wings and cookies. Jesus fxck. How pathetic. I also went to sleep at like 4 in the morning.

I wake up today and DONT drink my protein shake. I have A FXCKING COFFEE today. good lord. AND TO TOP IT OFF I HAD A FXCKING BEER.

So BASICALLY I FXCKED UP.

One good thing came out of this. I usually go to my brothers house, and I told him today that this would be my last beer until the end of school and to not even offer me any more. I know i just need to have some goddamn will power but, jesus that was so pathetic.

I am home now, and am about to eat because I BARELY ate today, and didnt drink enough water, which is also horrible, but I will be going to the gym to work BACK and POSSIBLY biceps.

I feel like absolute ass because of what I did but it is in the past and Im going to use it positively and grow from it. I know I will feel like **** if I do things that go against my goals and therefore I will think about how sh!tty I will feel if i acted like that. This should helped me grow my will power.

I will do a post on Will power tomorrow, And dedicate some time and effort into researching the benefits of having a strong will power and how to attain will power. Right now though i am running on time and my gym closes soon so I will be signing off. I just had to show u guys how badly i fxcked up. I want to be completely honest on here so I can ACTUALLY better myself

 

[narcissist]

This is a super dope blog!
Keep it up OP.
I need to start taking my goals a lot more seriously as well.
Life is just meaningless without setting goals and achieving them.

thanks man! hope you enjoy it and hope it brings you much motivation to accomplish your goals!!!

I agree with you completely, as hard as it is to accomplish goals FXCK IT, set them and achieve them, no matter what happens.

You should start a daily journal as well, It has done me wonders.

If u do be sure to post the link in my journal and i will be checking out your progress as well

 

[narcissist]

Okay so update because I have not been on here for 4 days.

Basically I am starting to realize that I have changed vastly in the past 2 years and that my conscious effort of bettering myself, although i may not see it, is having VERY profound and positive effects on my overall person. Sometimes it is hard to see the progress until you meet up with people that you havn't seen in years and they are baffled at the difference.

I have become MUCH more muscular and physically appealing id say going from a 7 to and 8.5 over the past 2 years. I have become FAR more intelligent, as I try and read books ferociously, and attain a plethora of information and knowledge everyday. I have become far more positive and fun to be around. Compared to two years ago I would say that I am ABSURDLY more social, and I can talk to MANY people with little or no anxiety, and I dont make as many dumb social errors or mistakes as i used to. Overall I have improved greatly. Positive habits, and a perspective of wanting to be the best man you can become works wonders, if implemented.

This past week I have met up with many people that i used to hang out with 3 years ago in high school and they are ALL dumbfounded by how different of a person I have turned into, and I instilled a great respect they now have for me. In fact, I saw this girl 2 days ago who I used to go to high school with and in grade 9 she was repulsed by the thought of me liking her. Well when I saw her, and she saw me her jaw dropped and she came and gave me a MASSIVE long hug, and demands that I chill with her over the summer seeing as she lives close to me now. We also danced at the party where I saw her, very sensually if I might add. She kept saying how good I looked and how different I have become.

I realize i sound very egotistical and narcissistic. I do not want to let it get to my ego though. I realize that I must stay humble and grounded and NOT LOSE FOCUS. In times like that it is easy to lose focus because you feel like you are in a good position and are comfortable being respected and admired. BUT I WILL NOT STOP. I will push forward. I will continue bettering myself ALWAYS.
I will continue to strive for greatness! I will continue to work out and continue to eat healthy. I will continue to read mountains of books and scientific/philosophical journals. I will continue to put myself in uncomfortable situations in order to be comfortable in ALL situations. I will continue to be positive.

I will use this admiration that my fellow peers have instilled on me in a positive way, by showing me that i HAVE made progress and this perspective and my choices HAVE impacted my overall person. I will not let it get to my head or affect me negatively.


Things that I did over the past couple days that POSITIVELY impacted my goals:
- I went out and had a great time with people that i havent seen in a very long time
- I have been very social
- I have been on tinder and as of today i have 93 matches
- I set up TWO dates for next friday. One in the morning, one at night.
- Setting up another date, probably for saturday
- this EXTREMELY cute girl in my class today walked in and stared at me while she sat down. THEN as i was getting my text back we shared eye contact for literally 7 seconds. and she smiled and looked down. I was a pvssy and didnt talk to her. But I will approach her next week in class 100%
- Two of my friends had an arguement and I diffused a fight, in a very positive manner and motivated them both afterwards.
- House has been kept VERY tidy
- drinking lots of water and green tea

There is probably a lot more. This is why i must update everyday because it is easier to remember. And I want to document EVERY MINUTE THING.

Things that I did these past couple days the NEGATIVELY impacted my goals

- fvcking coffee. But everytime i have it im doing 50 pushups and 25 chin ups, so it has become quite a hassle to get one.
- some days i eat caloric surplus some days i dont. BUT its becoming more on days then off.
- I had alcohol at the party. I know. Pathetic.
- cold approach.


Goals for this week

1. No alcohol
2. no coffee
3. eat caloric surplus.
4. cold approach 3 girls this week


Everything else, I am ALWAYS on top of. So if i can fix those three problems i can REALLY enjoy some gains in terms of physical goals.

Anyways hope you all have a fantastic fvcking day. Become the boss you are meant to be.

 

[Tarfun]

Hey this is an awesome log narc,

Couple things I wanted to toss your way, add some whey protein into your diet, it is great for muscle mass. Take it with your creatinine right after your workouts.

Also, if you're a naturally skinnier guy, a peanut butter sandwich and a big glass if whole milk before bed is money for putting on mass.

Keep up the good work and keep us updated

 

[narcissist]

Hey this is an awesome log narc,

Couple things I wanted to toss your way, add some whey protein into your diet, it is great for muscle mass. Take it with your creatinine right after your workouts.

Also, if you're a naturally skinnier guy, a peanut butter sandwich and a big glass if whole milk before bed is money for putting on mass.

Keep up the good work and keep us updated

Thanks for the advice Tarfun, I actually have been using whey protein for the past 2-3 years, i just have trouble actually getting my daily caloric surplus. I will definitely give your peanut butter sandwich and milk before bed a go, maybe 2 of them, that would definitely help me pack in the calories!

thanks for the motivation man, hope you enjoy the rest of my journal!