In 2003 my my brrother-in-law hung himself from a tree. He and my wife’s sister been married 20 years at that point since he’d got her pregnant at 17 and married her at 18. He did ‘the right thing’ and they had another daughter about 6 years later.
He wasn’t the greatest guy in the world, but he busted his ass constantly. He had to forego any idea of ever going to college, and pretty much succeeded in spite of it by sheer determination for 20 years. If he had a fault it was his possessiveness towards his wife. She has always been, still to this day, drop dead gorgeous, and he was just beta enough in his (lack of) understanding women to be insecure to recognize that he’d married well out of his league.
At the time of his death, she had been planning a divorce. At about 40 this guy had accomplished enough to have a nice house he’d partially built for them once they were empty-nesters. His son was off to college and their daughter not far behind. Now, she wanted to divorce. It was kind of a shock for my wife and I since her sister had always been marginally religious, but here she was making plans for divorce. It wasn’t until after the suicide that I had a better understanding of why.
Not even a year after he’d been buried her sister had wedding plans with a concrete mogul she’d met at the condo rentals they managed. Her ship had literally come in and she was now marrying a millionaire. She didn’t seem too broke up about the man she’d been living with since 17 being underground and it was all starting to make sense.
Over the course of a bout a year and a half she systematically extracted herself from all of her former social circles, and to this day is barely connected to her side of the family. Naturally her son and daughter benefited from this arrangement – her son getting hired on at his company and her daughter getting a full ride for a master’s degree. She now lives with him in their recently bought $1.5M mansion; and that property her former husband helped build for their later years? She sold it to buy her new Porsche.
This was over the course of 8 years. Now she’s become hyper-religious, perhaps as a coping mechanism for what she’s done. She and my wife still talk, but any idea of family get togethers is a struggle now.
Now all of that probably sounds pretty ****ed up, but understand this IS how it is. This is the game that’s being played and that was the ultimate defeat. I use this illustration here because it was instrumental in my ‘awakening’ to the solipsism dynamic. I didn’t know it at the time, but this incident helped me piece together how strong hypergamy could be for women. So strong that it could literally rewrite a woman’s personality, with very little hindsight or remorse, and send a good man to the grave, all with properly crafted excuses and moral rationalizations. And what’s more scary is knowing that it could be my wife, or your current LTR who could follow the same path if the circumstance and payoff was better.
Gentlemen, it doesn’t get easier, you have to get BETTER. Depending on her conditions, depending upon your own, hypergamy is the stalking butler in the shadows just waiting for you to slip. Every guy in divorce court has the same story, “I never saw it coming.” Could my wife do the same? Not if I stay on top of my Game. I’d like to think Mrs. Tomassi’s commitment to me is iron clad, but I’d be a fool to think it’s unconditional. In fact it’s just this knowledge that inspires me to keep my edge, personally, professionally, creatively, psychologically,..etc. I would expect a wife, your ‘faithful’ LTR, your GF to drop your ass at the call of the next highest bidder.
