Love really doesn't seem worth it....

[djgirl]

Good evening all,

I know I'm not most welcome here but I'm tired of female opinions and would like the opinion of some men. I have made my fair share with mistakes in the past but I have learnt my lessons and have come up better for it.

I suppose my problem is, another year has passed and I'm STILL single. I'm 27 and dating feels like the most hardest thing ever. It's like it gets harder as you get older. I know many of you have trouble dating women, well it's the same for us trying to date you men.

I have tried numerous dating sites with no luck. The only guys I come across are sleaze bags looking for one thing, flakey guys, and mostly unattractive guys who can't hold a conversation to save their lives. All my peers at work are all married and have kids and the rest have partners so I really have no one to go out with, however bars and clubs have never been my scene either and even the quality of men that go there are all about one thing.

I'm starting to think some people are just not meant to experience true love or be in a relationship or hell even get married as much as I would like that to happen. Everybody can't believe I'm single, im not a super model but I'm not ugly either, I keep myself in shape, i have a great personality and can be lots of fun and I still struggle. I even work and cook !!

This has really gotten me down the last few months, seeing everyone partnered up and making it look so easy and mind you some aren't even the best of looking !! And yet here's my lonely old self who can't even get a date to save my life! The only guys that are ever interested in me are guys I'm not attracted too.

So if you think dating women is hard work, I'm here to tell you on the other side that dating men is just at worse

 

[Yewki]

I suppose my problem is, another year has passed and I'm STILL single...

I'm starting to think some people are just not meant to experience true love

The main problem is in bold. Perhaps it's time to live in reality, including trying to find men not online but in real life. You might not be able to sit back and wait for Prince Charming to find you, either. You may need to approach people.

Also, the "hard work" you complain about is miniscule compared to what those guys you complain do. In regards to the online dating, those dudes probably spent weeks or months messaging girls just to get one opportunity to get a date... which in this case happened to be you. Then they did probably most or all the work connecting and setting things up... meanwhile I'm guessing you logged in your online account and had the grim task of selecting which of the many guys showing interest you would talk to.

 

[djgirl]

The reason why I rely on online dating a lot is because I work a lot and do crazy hours so on my days off I'm spent recovering and too tired to go out and about looking for men. Not an excuse I know but at the moment it's my reality.

I've spent quite a while trying to set up dates only to be flaked on mostly. I understand lots of guys get flaked on but us women do too.

 

[Epimanes]

I highly suggest www.marriedmansexlife.com and to use their forum. There is a lot of negativity here especially towards women. You can get better advice from their forum than here.

This place has its place but I feel you would get more help and better constructive positive feedback over there.

Epi

 

[TheProphet]

The reason why I rely on online dating a lot is because I work a lot and do crazy hours so on my days off I'm spent recovering and too tired to go out and about looking for men. Not an excuse I know but at the moment it's my reality.

I've spent quite a while trying to set up dates only to be flaked on mostly. I understand lots of guys get flaked on but us women do too.

You're looking for "love" but yet too tired to go out and look for it. Makes perfect sense.

Newsflash: Love isn't going to come knocking on your door unless it's an O.L.D dude looking to make "love". You aren't looking for "love" you're looking for excuses and justifications for them.

Do hobbies, activities you enjoy and try to meet people there, talk to dudes you find interesting at the store, gym etc. when you are out. Smile, chat, flirt. Look to MEET new people. Not look for "love". Love develops over time AFTER meeting and knowing a person. Not off the fantasy perfect picture in your mind of some dude.

 

[EvilSpirit22]

This is what you deserve after so many years of wh0ring around and not settling down plus you might have even cheated on your NICE boyfriend because of his clingy unattractive behaviour.

You are a perfect example of a woman whose SMV went down because of her age and in just 3 years you'll be 30 and then your value would crash like the share market and if you choose you can get married to your NICE ex boyfriend only if he is still nice and not a member of SS. If he's a member then you're doomed.

 

[Epimanes]

I agree with Theprophet.

Love is an action... Love is a choice. I choose to love my wife every day. Lots of times I don't feel love... But still make the active choice to love her.

That's part of what's wrong with people.. They expect the feeling of love to remain a constant when in fact its not.. Its fleeting.. It comes and goes in waves. Do you think I feel passionate love 24/7 for my wife of 20 years? Hell no... But I like riding the waves when they are in our favor! So we choose love and hope for the best.

Epi

 

[Bokanovsky]

I have tried numerous dating sites with no luck. The only guys I come across are sleaze bags looking for one thing, flakey guys, and mostly unattractive guys who can't hold a conversation to save their lives. All my peers at work are all married and have kids and the rest have partners so I really have no one to go out with, however bars and clubs have never been my scene either and even the quality of men that go there are all about one thing.

I'm starting to think some people are just not meant to experience true love or be in a relationship or hell even get married as much as I would like that to happen. Everybody can't believe I'm single, im not a super model but I'm not ugly either, I keep myself in shape, i have a great personality and can be lots of fun and I still struggle. I even work and cook !!

This has really gotten me down the last few months, seeing everyone partnered up and making it look so easy and mind you some aren't even the best of looking !! And yet here's my lonely old self who can't even get a date to save my life! The only guys that are ever interested in me are guys I'm not attracted too.

Based on the above, it sounds like the problem is you. Either you are ugly, have a crap personality/poor social skills, unrealistic expectations or all of the above. Getting a boyfriend isn't like winning the Olympics. The fact that your friends have no difficulty finding a husband/boyfriend should tell you something...it's not that hard!

Seems like you need to come down to earth and realize that if you were to have a boyfriend, he would not be some devastatingly handsome stud with a Hollywood lifestyle. He'd be average looking and probably somewhat boring (just like you).

 

[VikingKing]

Based on the above, it sounds like the problem is you. Either you are ugly, have a crap personality/poor social skills, unrealistic expectations of all of the above. The fact that your friends have no difficulty finding a husband/boy formed should tell you something...it's not that hard!

If you were a man I would suggest self-imrp

Exactly. Your not ugly, so maybe some else is the issue? You should find out what it is and fix it.

 

[Bokanovsky]

Double post

 

[SmooveMooves]

Based on the above, it sounds like the problem is you. Either you are ugly, have a crap personality/poor social skills, unrealistic expectations or all of the above. Getting a boyfriend isn't like winning the Olympics. The fact that your friends have no difficulty finding a husband/boyfriend should tell you something...it's not that hard! Come down to earth and realize that if you're going to have a boyfriend, he will not be some devastatingly handsome stud with a Hollywood lifestyle. He'll be average looking and probably somewhat boring (just like you).

This.

It won't get spelled out for you better than right here.

Truth hurts

 

[djgirl]

I'm not ugly though, I have people telling me all the time how pretty and attractive I am and I have a very outgoing personality so it's neither of them. However I refuse to settle for someone who in my eyes does nothing for me just for the sake of having someone....as I said I do have guys hitting on me but they aren't my type.

 

[VikingKing]

I'm not ugly though, I have people telling me all the time how pretty and attractive I am and I have a very outgoing personality so it's neither of them. However I refuse to settle for someone who in my eyes does nothing for me just for the sake of having someone....as I said I do have guys hitting on me but they aren't my type.

having an outgoing personality doesnt mean people like you, or see you aw a potential mate. How do you know the guys hitting on you aren't your type? Implying that their is something wrong with men that hit on women.

You have to actually get to know some one a bit before you can decide if they are your "type" or not.

You auto reject guys that hit on you in person, and are unhappy with dating sites. You dont make sense, you need to attempt logical reasoning.

brovanasky told you exactly what you needed to hear. If as a woman you are having this hard of a time dating, its probably not the men thats the problem its you.

For example if I work some where, and every one hates me. Its probably no because they are a$$holes and want to pick on me, maybe I'm the a$$hole and thats why they hate me? Savyy, huh?

 

[Skyline]

I'm not ugly though, I have people telling me all the time how pretty and attractive I am and I have a very outgoing personality so it's neither of them. However I refuse to settle for someone who in my eyes does nothing for me just for the sake of having someone....as I said I do have guys hitting on me but they aren't my type.

What do you do to make you happy? Or better yet, how often do you go to social settings? Sounds to me like you're just not exposed enough or you're one of what Bokanovsky said and your ego is just isn't having that.

 

[djgirl]

having an outgoing personality doesnt mean people like you, or see you aw a potential mate. How do you know the guys hitting on you aren't your type? Implying that their is something wrong with men that hit on women.

You have to actually get to know some one a bit before you can decide if they are your "type" or not.

You auto reject guys that hit on you in person, and are unhappy with dating sites. You dont make sense, you need to attempt logical reasoning.

brovanasky told you exactly what you needed to hear. If as a woman you are having this hard of a time dating, its probably not the men thats the problem its you.

For example if I work some where, and every one hates me. Its probably no because they are a$$holes and want to pick on me, maybe I'm the a$$hole and thats why they hate me? Savyy, huh?

I actually have got to know them, and they are not my type attraction wise and secondly I find them really boring....

I'll admit that I don't get out much because of working all the time long hours and all my friends are nearly all taken and never want to do anything.

 

[TheProphet]

I'm not ugly though, I have people telling me all the time how pretty and attractive I am and I have a very outgoing personality so it's neither of them. However I refuse to settle for someone who in my eyes does nothing for me just for the sake of having someone....as I said I do have guys hitting on me but they aren't my type.

How's that outgoing personality working for you inside your house?

People can tell you how pretty and attractive you are all they want. If they don't want to date you or you aren't interested in them what does that matter?

You shouldn't refuse to settle but don't refuse to leave your house either and meet people.

If dudes who do hit on you aren't your type what does that matter and how is that helping you?

 

[VikingKing]

I actually have got to know them, and they are not my type attraction wise and secondly I find them really boring....

I'll admit that I don't get out much because of working all the time long hours and all my friends are nearly all taken and never want to do anything.

Well sounds like your screwed then.

 

[Atom Smasher]

Guys, she keeps mentioning looks over and over again. Her issue is that she's looking for Brad Pitt and disqualifying some perfectly good men because they don't meet her physical expectations.

I can understand not wanting to be with a ugly man but it's very apparent that she's looking for what she considers a super-good-looking guy who will fit her imaginary template.

 

[VladPatton]

All this talk about looks made me curious as fvck to know what you look like, dgirl.

 

[VikingKing]

So. Seems like dj girl ur demands are to high. U want more than ur worth.when we talk about how entitled women are. This is a prime example. Ur like thise because of western society. Imagine if our society didnt make u like this. U would probably be able to find some one who is good for u. Once u get older and ur options run out, if u think ur unhappy now just wait. But after that ur standards will drop way low. Old women are not desired.